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Chapter Twelve

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To Nicole’s surprise, both Abby and Casey awaited her at the breakfast nook the following morning just after five-thirty. The coffee pot bubbled and spat with expectation for the day ahead. Casey read aloud the list of instructions Nicole had prepared for her while Abby remained listless beside her. Nicole half-suspected that Abby would return to Heather’s bedroom to brood. But after a few minutes of Casey’s list, Abby interjected and said, “What should my responsibilities be for the day?” 

Nicole kept her voice calm and unwavering. She suggested a number of tasks from Casey’s list that Abby could easily take over if she wanted to. Abby grabbed a pen and scribed a list of her own, then suggested she take over some of the social media tasks for the day. “I’ve done a lot of that over the years. I might as well put my knowledge to good use.” 

“And you? You’ll be at the Eatery?” Casey asked as she rose, removed the filter from the coffee pot, and fluttered more grounds into a fresh one. “I think this is a two-pot-of-coffee day.”

“I’ll be at the Eatery. Yep,” Nicole replied. “I was up half the night thinking about the menu for the week. For months, I’ve struggled with Geoffrey’s menu plans, holding my tongue when I wanted to make suggestions.”

“Now you got what you wished for,” Casey said. “I know what that feels like. Not always fun.”

At that moment, both Casey and Nicole’s phones dinged with a message from Heather in the city. 

HEATHER: New York is SO LOUD.

HEATHER: How do people live here without going insane? 

Nicole and Casey chuckled with soft laughter. Their kitchen in the Keating House couldn’t have been quieter, filled now with the softest morning light. It felt like living in a painting, many universes away from Heather, Kristine, and Bella’s chaotic city lights and wild sounds. By contrast, Abby glowered into her coffee cup, which made Nicole even more curious. Was she jealous of her cousins, Kristine and Bella? Why wasn’t she in Providence?

The three of them left the house a half-hour later, easing through the soft, still-wet grass of the early October morning. When they entered the foyer, Jackie brightened at the sight of Abby and said, “You look just like your momma!” This wasn’t the kind of thing you said to Abby Baxter. She gave a half-smile and returned her eyes to her list of tasks. 

“Let me show you where everything is,” Nicole told them as she led Abby and Casey into the back office. Abby commented on the old-fashioned technology but soon set to work on the computer, answering emails. Casey headed to the front desk to discuss the day ahead with Jackie. This left Nicole hands-free for the Eatery. 

Nicole had very rarely been inside the Eatery kitchen alone. The counters glistened; the door of the walk-in freezer reflected her solitary form; the lights seemed overly bright, making the place seem like an interrogation room. She inspected the stacks of food in the fridge as her mind buzzed with recipe plans. If she were correct, the fisherman, Colin, would arrive shortly with his catch from the morning, which would give her a better idea for the lunch and dinner specials. 

Luke and Colin entered the kitchen around the same time. Nicole was so excited to see Luke that she nearly wrestled him to the ground with a hug. Colin told her he had a vibrant selection of halibut, salmon, and sea bass for the day, which he brought in on ice before sauntering off to the front desk for his check. 

“You doing okay, Chief?” Luke asked as Nicole took a second look at the fish. 

“I won’t be able to answer that question till after the lunch rush,” Nicole told him. 

When the lunch rush came to a head, Nicole found a groove. She no longer felt like Nicole Harvey; she was now a knife-wielding machine, with a full understanding of what sizzled and spat and simmered across the kitchen, how to plate for beauty and best taste, and what to put on the stovetop next. 

When lunch finished up, Luke tried to pat her on the back, but she drew back her shoulders and shook her head. “No. I don’t know. We can’t celebrate yet. Dinner will be even worse.”

When she found a spare moment, she headed for the front desk and found Casey in conversation with one of the guests. She had that classic Casey look of exasperation but spoke in clear, calm tones. When the guest headed off again, Casey dropped down below the counter and screamed into her hands. 

“How do you do it?” she asked as she lifted her head again. “I nearly fell apart four times today.” 

“I can’t thank you enough,” Nicole said, placing a hand out for Casey to take. “Seriously.”

Casey laughed as she took it and lifted herself back to a standing position. “Really, though, everyone’s been lovely, well, almost everyone. Abby’s been a spectacular help. She even walked a family to one of the trailheads to make sure they found it.”

“Wow.” Nicole’s heart swelled. That wasn’t like Abby. 

“And how’s the kitchen?” 

Nicole buzzed her lips. “I’m just staying focused. I feel like Tom Brady at the Super Bowl.” 

Casey cackled. “You mean the most celebrated football player of all time? It sounds like you’ll be okay.” 

Nicole returned to the kitchen to prep for dinner. Luke had on the radio for a time, which calmed her mind as she orchestrated the menu for the night. She heard the vibrant call of many hostesses, waiters, and waitresses as they entered to prep the dining room. After months of hotel management, she was grateful to feel like the leader of the most exciting part of the Keating Kingdom. The dining room couldn’t go on without her. 

That night, after a successful dinner, Nicole collapsed in her bed back at the Keating House, exhausted. She had to find the strength to keep going the next few days, until Thursday, when Luke had promised to take over the lunch and dinner shifts and give her the day off. 

Abby had gone to bed before Nicole’s return the night before, but she was up, bright and early, to make a pot of coffee so that the three of them could charge forward on a brand new day together. Nicole still felt hesitant to discuss anything about Abby’s life-happenings; she didn’t want to step on any toes. Still, she relished the sound of Abby discussing the day’s tasks with Casey.

“Divide and conquer,” Abby vowed with the slightest bit of excitement, the likes of which Nicole hadn’t heard since Abby had been ten or eleven, maybe. 

This day and part of the next went on much like Monday. But in the middle of the dinner rush on Wednesday, Nicole’s vision grew blurry, her knees buckled, and she burst into spontaneous tears. Luke placed a firm hand on her shoulder and guided her into Geoffrey’s old office, which now belonged to her. She collapsed in the chair and placed her face in her hands. 

“I don’t know if I have it in me,” she murmured into her palms.

“I’ll be right back,” Luke told her. “Drink some water, okay? You’re probably just exhausted.”

Nicole began to spiral after Luke’s departure. Laughter and vibrant conversation buzzed in through the bottom of the door. Did they like the food? She’d worked tirelessly all day to uphold a near-perfect dinner menu. In truth, she’d neglected her own needs, forgetting to eat and drinking hardly anything at all. She prayed that the line cooks and Luke could hold down the fort while she took these moments to panic. 

Breathe. Inhale, exhale. She couldn’t very well operate an entire kitchen if anxiety made itself her boss. Where had Luke gone, anyway? She tried to stand, but her knees locked and she fell back all over again. She spread her fingers out on her desk and tried to find some internal strength. Maybe she was all dried up.

The door squeaked as it opened. When she lifted her eyes, she encountered the most beautiful sight: Abby, her shoulders hunched with embarrassment as she clicked the door closed behind her. She wore a simple pair of khaki slacks and a black v-neck t-shirt, and her makeup was clean and precise, with little wings of eyeliner that extended past her eyes. Nicole wanted so badly to tell her daughter just how beautiful she was, but she knew this would result in another eye roll.

“Hey.” Abby stepped toward the other side of the room, where she sat at the edge of the only other chair. 

“Hi.”

Abby lived in the silence for a moment. “Luke said you were having a hard time.”

Nicole blinked. So, he’d gone off and grabbed her daughter as some sort of relief system? Didn’t he know about their strained relationship? Well, maybe he didn’t. Probably, when you were an orphan like Luke was, you automatically assumed every mother-child relationship was a Godsend. 

“I’m just taking a minute,” Nicole replied. 

“I’m sure you’re exhausted,” Abby offered. 

Nicole’s eyes filled with tears. This was maybe the first time that Abby had ever thrown her a bone. 

“I wouldn’t have been able to live through this week without you, Abby,” Nicole said softly. 

Abby shrugged but didn’t roll her eyes. That was progress, at least. 

“I was surprised to see you,” Nicole finally said. 

“When Aunt Casey floated the idea, I couldn’t exactly say no,” Abby returned. “It’s not like I had anything else going on.”

Nicole held her breath.

“I’m sure you’re dying to know why I’m not in Providence. The truth is, I wish I was. I liked my job. I liked my life. Things were going great.” 

Nicole shook her head ever-so-slightly. “What happened?” 

“Downsizing,” Abby returned. “I’m just a kid basically in the workforce, so I’m the first on the chopping block when they need to save cash. I hardly had any savings because I did a lot of shopping during my first months on the job. And I found myself unable to pay rent or buy groceries or...” She trailed off as her face grew shadowed with shame. 

Nicole’s voice remained soft. “You should have called me.”

Abby shook her head. “All I’ve done the past few years is push you away. I treated you terribly. You never deserved it.” 

“That doesn’t matter,” Nicole breathed. 

“It does to me,” Abby replied. “Like an idiot, I actually tried to go to Dad about it. He’s in Boston with his new wife, and his new baby and well... I stayed just one night before I called Aunt Casey.” 

It nearly destroyed Nicole to hear now that Abby hadn’t felt she could come to her. What had she done to create a world in which her daughter didn’t trust her? Every situation had two players. 

Nicole found the strength to stand. She was reminded of being a young mother, running on no sleep and underfed, who’d still found the strength to play with Abby and nurse Nate. Someone, maybe God himself, had brought Abby back into her life. She couldn’t refuse her. 

When she reached Abby, she placed a curl behind Abby’s ear gently as tears cascaded down both of their cheeks. Abby stood and finally allowed herself to be hugged. Nicole placed her chin on Abby’s shoulder and shook with a mix of sorrow and relief. All she’d ever wanted was to be close with her daughter once again, the way Heather was with hers. All she’d wanted was an outlet for all the love she felt. 

When she stepped back, Abby hurriedly brushed away her tears. She then said, “Oh, wait. Aunt Casey said you were probably starving.” She leafed through her pocket and grabbed a Snickers bar, which she unwrapped and split into two. “Maybe this will get us through to the end of the night?”

Nicole’s laughter was vibrant and foreign. She accepted the gift with a smile. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Abs.”

Abby’s cheeks blushed crimson. “Same, Mom. Same.”