Dear Diary,

What’s the point of it all anyway?

Why do we work so hard in school just to get into another school, and another, and then into a job we probably won’t even like? Adults are always saying it was so much easier when they were kids, and working full time sucks. Why is that what we strive for then? Plus, I’m not sure they know what being this kind of kid is like.

But it’s so much more than that. I find so much pointless.

Why do we worry about what people think of us when everyone is just doing the same thing? Why do we like people before we know more about who they are or how we connect with them? Why do we have to feel sad, angry, scared, or nervous?

Why is life so confusing and hard so much of the time?

Just why?

Okay, maybe I’m just being too dramatic again. Maybe I’m worrying too much about things other people don’t bother to fret over. Or maybe I just need to seriously calm down.

But, for whatever reason, I have been over thinking everything, and I’ve been full of anxiety over the littlest things lately. Like the pencil incident. That was just the beginning. I can’t seem to let the little stuff go. Calming down is usually impossible, even after realizing I need to. Shouldn’t I be able to calm myself down? That’s a skill I used to have.

And it all seriously just sucks. Everything.

I want things to be easier. I want to be happier. I want to have more fun and be scared less. Will that come with age? Other adults don’t look so unsure and chaotic inside. When you grow up do you just understand things better? Do you generally feel better about yourself?

I honestly hope so.

Because if not, if I’m just a weirdo, then I don’t know what to do.