I don’t know to tell you
I don’t know how to say
Everything that’s in my past
And what I used to do
I went through a lot of mess
I often felt alone
I wish I could just tell you
What I lived with everyday
And how much I learned
Through it
But when I try to say it
Fear clutches my heart
And stops my brain
It’s too hard for me
To continue speaking
I can’t show you my emotions
Without speaking out to you
I can’t show you my past
Without opening
My mouth for you
I can’t show you my scars
Because the physical ones
Are gone
But the mental and emotional
Scars will never fully disappear
So then I won’t forget
I should never forget
I should never
Forget my depression
Or what it made me do
If I remember
I can prevent
A continuous mistake in myself
Or ones others make
And I remember how my friends
Pulled me through
They helped me with my pain
It was a release
An escape from my life
The one I often wanted stopped
But nowadays
I’ve moved on
I’ve changed
And grown
And learned
No longer do I hurt myself
Or feel the way I did
Now I just wish
I would let you in
And share these private things
Please realize I someday will
Though now it’s still too hard
For now, just know, I want to
On my own
I need to find the courage first
But for now
I still don’t know what to say
Until I find the words to use
Just know that I’m okay