14
Win the War of Words With an Audience
Because someday you’ll be arguing to an audience of a few or many
In this chapter you’ll discover the winning plays for arguing to an audience, plays that are different from those you’d use at less formal meetings.
The words you’ll craft for a listener’s ears are not the same as the words you’ll craft for a reader’s eyes. Readers can slow their pace to reread, to absorb, and to understand—luxuries that listeners don’t have.
Write out a rough draft of what you’ll say. Even if your talk will be ad-libbed. Unprepared speakers who drift and digress blow their chance to score. Unprepared speakers suffer the Dan Quayle Syndrome: a speech with a beginning, a muddle, and an end. “Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state by itself. It is different from other states. Well, all states are different, but it’s got a particularly unique situation.”
Shuffle your draft’s words and sentences around until a “script” emerges. Don’t let it be a silent, lonely process. By talking out loud, you’ll get the feel of your words and you’ll actually hear how they’ll sound to others. As you hear your words, you’ll discover the emotional side of your argument. It’s what energizes your speech. As you shape and sculpt your draft, you’ll find yourself expressing ideas, feelings, and emotions that would have never bubbled up had you not talked to yourself out loud.
Don’t be surprised if you find yourself stumbling over structured phrases. It’s okay to use contractions such as “won’t” or “shouldn’t” because that’s how you speak. Amateurs tend to prepare by writing overly formal talks. Instead of trying to be themselves, they are guided by some abstract notion of what a speaker should be. Overly formal words will only stiffen your natural speech patterns. Your argument should have the flow and feel of a conversation.
Oh–You Beautiful Word
Because most men are droners
“BEFORE I SPEAK, I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY.”
—GROUCHO MARX
There’s no such thing as a persuasive bore. A Canadian judge threw a case out of court because a witness was too boring: “Beyond doubt the dullest witness I’ve ever had in court…he speaks in a monotonic voice…and uses language so drab and convoluted that even the court reporter cannot stay conscious…. I’ve had it.”
Words are the skin of thoughts. They are abstractions—flat and lifeless. It’s your job to bring those abstractions to life. Take the word oh. It’s just a word. It’s how you say oh that tells your audience what you mean:
Pain: Oh. (“My stomach hurts.”)
A question: Oh? (“Is that right?”)
Excitement: Oh! (“Wow!”)
Boredom: Oh. (“How dull.”)
Disgust: Oh! (“Not snow again!”)
Disbelief: Oh? (“Yeah?”)
Exclamation: Oh! (“I forgot to turn off the stove!”)
Passion: Oh. (“I love him/her.”)
It’s hard to tune out speakers who are genuinely enthusiastic about what they are arguing for. Speakers who gesture well above the podium or move to the side of it. Speakers who use overstated gestures for larger audiences, understated gestures for smaller ones. Speakers who use a leap in pitch, an occasional exaggeration of tone, and changes of tempo and volume to build tension and surprise.
Meet Lee Iacocca
Because he talks plain and simple
Lee Iacocca saved Chrysler Corporation by winning support from Congress and the American people for the biggest corporate bailout in history. Here’s how he explained his success: “I’ve seen a lot of guys who are smarter than I am and a lot who know more about cars. And yet I’ve lost them in the smoke. Why? Because I’m tough? No…. You’ve got to know how to talk to them, plain and simple.”
The “plain and simple” talk to which he referred was using words to express, not impress. How do you know if a word is pompous? If you wouldn’t use it at a cocktail party, chances are it’s pompous. Using buzzwords or words only the tech-savvy will understand can also keep you from breaking through.
Quick Quiz
You can’t go to a ball game without singing “The Star-Spangled Banner.” Without a stadium filled with fans singing with you, run through the words. Have you forgotten a few of them? A New York radio show man-on-the-street poll revealed that not one interviewee knew the words beyond “twilight’s last gleaming.” Now let me ask you this: Since second grade, you’ve sung our national anthem’s phrase “O’er the ramparts we watched”—but what’s a rampart?
My high school speech teacher cautioned our class that talks that aren’t plain and simple can be fatal. His proof? President William Henry Harrison stood outside in the rain for nearly two hours delivering his inaugural address. He died a month later from pneumonia.
Go Interactive
Because an involved audience is easily won over
People are more easily persuaded when they’re actively involved. We quickly forget what we hear, but long remember what we’ve done. Depending on the size of the audience and your agenda, getting others to share their experiences, opinions, and observations is the way to win.
Interactive speakers with a high degree of eye contact are perceived as being more friendly, natural, self-confident, and sincere. Speakers who make little or no eye contact may come across as cold or evasive. Pauses become powerful when you slowly sweep your eyes across the room.
Tip: In your mind, divide the room into quadrants. When speaking, move from section to section, making eye contact with a handful of selected people in each section.
Be interactive. An audience remembers what they’ve done more than what they’ve heard.
Handout Alert
Because handouts can be fatal
When arguing to a small or medium-sized audience, you can distribute handouts, although you may not want to distribute handouts until long before or long after you’re done speaking. Ask any teacher. Chances are he or she knows the name Lee Canter. Lee is America’s number-one educator. His textbooks and programs teach teachers how to teach.
A good part of law is waiting. As Lee and I watched a room full of lawyers argue their cases, it happened over and over again. A lawyer would come forward; the judge would then pick up and read that lawyer’s brief; and as the judge read, the lawyer would verbally argue his or her position. Lee was shocked and whispered to me, “These lawyers don’t know what every good teacher knows about getting through. You don’t talk to people while they’re reading. When you do, neither your written nor your spoken words will be fully absorbed nor remembered.”
Hand out maps of the multiplex’s anticipated traffic flow patterns in and through the neighborhood after you speak and answer questions. Make your argument more interactive.
Distribute handouts long before or after you speak. Handouts that are read while you’re talking only detract from what you’re saying.
Pros Use Props
Because complicated ideas call for simple demonstrations
Moses came down from the mountain bearing clay tablets. Would the impact have been the same if he simply announced without tablets, “Ten things were told to me by God. I’m here to tell you what they are.”
The nation was about to enter World War II. A single limp noodle on a plate was the prop General George Patton used to impress upon his junior officers what he expected of them. With his officers standing around a large table, the general tried pushing the noodle forward with his fingers. The noodle only squiggled and twisted. Patton then snatched up one end of the noodle and swept it across the plate. In no uncertain terms he made his point: “Gentlemen, you don’t push…you lead!”
Back in the Neighborhood
Use a prop such as a videotape showing cars fighting to get into a multiplex parking lot and the congestion caused by the moviegoers leaving.
I found a great prop in a T-shirt shop. To humorously drive home the point that sometimes we overlook the obvious, I held up a shirt that asked the burning question, “Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?”
4 Ways to Get Your Butterflies to Fly in Formation
Because you don’t have to be a nervous wreck
Arguing to an audience isn’t a life-or-death situation—although a dry throat, sweaty palms, and a pounding heart may make it feel that way. Here are four relaxers that are guaranteed to keep you from being a total nervous wreck:
Relaxer #1: When your talk is well in mind, time yourself. Then rehearse again, but this time take a third longer. A slower pace will slow your breathing and lessen your jitters.
Relaxer #2: World-class athletes know the importance of visualization when preparing for an event. Visualizing the execution of a perfect play gives them confidence. As you prepare to argue imagine the situation down to the last detail—how you will stand, what you will say, where you will look, how the room and the audience will appear—and let yourself experience the anxiety. The fear won’t disappear, but you’ll become familiar with it.
Relaxer #3: Get to know your audience. Arrive early to mingle with the folks who will be hearing you. Introduce yourself to as many new faces as possible. That way you won’t be addressing a room full of strangers.
Take a tip from major league ball players who, one-on-one, will chat before a game about odds and ends or about themselves. Chit-chat before a talk relieves tension and a nervous tummy.
Relaxer #4: Wait to talk for five or 10 seconds after arriving at the spot where you’ll be speaking. Just by being silent—you need do nothing more—you will seize control of time and space as your audience bonds together in collective anticipation of what you’ll be saying.
3 Cures for the Common Speech
Because a speech and a bowl of popcorn have something in common
Popcorn without salt and butter is filling. It has nutritional value. But it’s also boring and not much fun to eat. Unseasoned speeches faithfully convey information. They’re boring and make for hard listening. So here’s the seasoning: three cures for the common speech.
Cure #1: Verbally highlight your main points.
Layer your three portable points between simple, outside-the-box grabbers. Your audience will stay tuned in, and the portable points you need to get across will stand out.
Here are some fun and easy ways to step outside the box:
Songs: “We were global when global wasn’t cool,” declared the president of Cola-Cola (the actual lyrics of the Barbara Mandrell classic are “I was country when country wasn’t cool”).
Bits and pieces: Scan newspapers and magazines for items that can spice up your argument. When talking about where ideas come from, I like to tell how UCLA researchers, hoping to design a better football helmet, studied why woodpeckers don’t get headaches—a neat “aside” from the pages of FYI.
Movies: The current hits always have memorable lines. From years past: “Make my day.” “May the force be with you.” “Show me the money.” “Life is like a box of chocolates.”
Cure #2: Your subject may be mundane, but you can’t be.
Senator Sam Ervin Jr. was best-known for leading the investigation of the Watergate scandal. When he was 85, he reminded us that humor can clarify the obscure. Deflate the pompous. Chastise the arrogant. And simplify the complex. The humor that Sam Ervin was talking about was humor that percolates out of the context of your talk and includes the audience in the fun.
A parrot, a lawyer, and a jockey walk into this bar….
Don’t open with a canned joke. Not even if it’s funny. Unless you’re a gifted story-teller, opening with a joke is risky business. If you don’t get a laugh, you’re standing there with egg on your face. But if you still feel you have to tell that opening joke….
President Jimmy Carter wasn’t much at telling funny stories. On a visit to Japan, he told a joke that had his audience laughing and clapping. Carter was so pleased with the response that he later asked his translator how he had interpreted the story for the audience. “I told them you had just told a joke, so they should laugh,” the translator confessed.
If you tell a joke and it’s greeted with silence, it’s not only embarrassing, but you’ll probably be thrown off your stride. But if you tell the audience, “I heard a funny story the other day…,” your audience will know something humorous is coming up and will hopefully self-program itself to laugh.
Cure #3: Use a great quote.
Here’s the reality. Not all quotes are quotable. Not all quotes are great. And using quotes outside your own area of competence may make you sound pretentious and phony.
When Pope John Paul arrived at the Miami airport, the pontiff’s half-smile gave President Reagan’s game away. Regan, in welcoming the Pope, quoted Thomas Aquinas. The Pope smiled, knowing that Reagan hadn’t really read Aquinas. And everyone else who saw Reagan on the evening news knew that the President wasn’t familiar with Thomas Aquinas. The point: Quotes can’t be from outside your area of competence. If they are, you’ll only look foolish.
Using any quote that is longer than 30 or so words is probably a mistake. Keep your argument from being a snooze-fest by layering your core argument’s points between grabbers. By using humor that isn’t canned or contrived. Use humor that bubbles up and flows from the context of your talk. And use quotes that are brief, relevant, and entertaining. “There’s no thief like a bad book.” This short and entertaining Italian proverb reminds us that a bad book steals our time and gives nothing back in return.
Visual Aids Are Not Always the Stuff of Winning Arguments
Because data overload is a turnoff
Visual aids and props can enhance the clarity and power of your argument. The more complex your argument, the more it helps to translate your points into a chart, graph, or other visual form. But boring numbers and text outlines don’t become interesting just because they’re projected on a screen or dolled up with computer graphics.
Put yourself in your audience’s shoes. Most of us really don’t want to read and absorb multiple concepts and long-winded factual scenarios.
Be honest. When was the last time you were wowed by anybody’s graphics? Cool it on data overload. Keep visual aids to a bare-bones minimum, and don’t read what’s on the screen if your audience is at all literate. Instead, say something new. Here are two visual never evers:
1. Never ever disconnect from your audience by talking to the words on a screen or flip chart instead of the people in front of you.
2. Never ever rely on visual aids to guide you through your speech. A visual aid is an aid—something to enrich or make your talk more vivid. Aids that overpower your oral presentation are counterproductive.
5 Tips to Tilt the Playing Field
Because a talk is like a love affair
Tip #1: It’s best to be the leadoff batter.
If you aren’t the only speaker, try to lead off. True, by presenting your argument first, the speakers who follow will be able to attack your argument. And yes, you’ll be at a disadvantage not knowing what those later in the lineup will say. You, however, will have the first crack at winning over your audience—and that alone makes it worthwhile to lead off. If you can’t go first, then position yourself to go last.
Tip #2: Tell the person who will introduce you to just cool it.
It’s their nature. Introducers always over-embellish. The person who introduces you will tell the crowd how wonderful you are. Your ability to convince is sapped because the crowd will be thinking, Can anybody really be all that good? She has a lot to prove before I’m convinced. The surest way to prevent introducer over-hype is for you to write out what you want the introducer to say.
If your credentials are weak, your ability to persuade will be lessened because of who you aren’t. But if you speak without an embellished introduction and your audience likes what you have to say, finding out later that your credentials are on the skimpy side won’t have much of a negative impact.
Tip #3: Try not to use that old “I’m glad to be here” stuff.
Open with a statement or question that reaches out, sets the theme of your argument, and grabs the audience. After you deliver a captivating introduction you can, if you want, express your thanks.
Winston Churchill said, “I never say ‘it gives me great pleasure’ to speak to any audience because there are only a few activities from which I derive intense pleasure, and speaking is not one of them.” It was a precept Churchill only violated once. At the Other Club, an informal group organized to discuss ideas and politics, and extemporaneous talks were a traditional rite. From a hat, a club member’s name was drawn. From another hat, a topic was drawn. The name drawn was Churchill and the topic drawn was sex. Churchill rose and, holding up the topic card, began, “It gives me great pleasure….” He then sat down.
Tip #4: Remember: A talk is like a love affair.
A friend of mine who is a persuasive speaker and a man-about-town kinda guy insists speeches are like love affairs. They’re easy to start, but bringing them to an end requires considerable skill.
To give your argument a well-packaged feel, connect your conclusion to your introduction. Here are two good ways you can do this and at the same time keep your audience locked in: Start with a riddle that you answer in your conclusion, or open with a suspenseful story that you finish as part of your closing. Power up your closing by briefly retelling your main points in a fresh and memorable way, followed by your call for action.
You should be so familiar with your close that you can close without looking away from your audience.
Tip #5: Stay aloft when winging it.
If you’re called on to speak unexpectedly, the normal adrenaline rush response is to think about what you’ll say to open. Instead, devote whatever time you have to how you are going to close. It’s the finish that your audience takes home.
If you know there’s a possibility you’ll be asked to “say a few words,” prepare some elevator speeches in advance. These are mini-talks keyed to your three main points. You should be able to start and finish an elevator speech in the two or three minutes it takes for an elevator ride in an average office building.
When winging it, your natural reaction will be to throw out nonstop, off-the-cuff remarks to keep from pausing. But pauses are good. They let you think about where you’re going and what you want to say next.
To Memorize or Not to Memorize?
Because you have alternatives
He’s the man they called “The Great Communicator.” (We won’t deny him this well-deserved title because of that blunder at the Miami airport.) One of Ronald Reagan’s super-secrets was to memorize only the critical segments of his talk. Reagan’s delivery appeared informal because the cement—what he said between his memorized segments—didn’t have a committed-to-memory sound or feel.
Lindsey Graham, Republican senator from South Carolina, spoke at Bill Clinton’s impeachment proceedings. Unlike the 12 lawyers who preceded him, Graham didn’t read from a prepared text. He had notes, but he seldom referred to them. Instead, he kept his eyes on his listeners. All the senators seemed awake at the same time. For the first time in three days, they stopped squirming and scribbling. Graham’s plain-spoken style and use of understandable metaphors had captured their attention.
If you must read, then make your words conversational. You want to be a persuasive speaker, not just a good reader. But consider this: A guaranteed-to-work alternative to reading or memorizing is to type out just the key words and phrases of your argument using a good-sized font and bold letters. Have no more than a few words or phrases on any line. The written phrases or parts of phrases should be so brief that you can scan and scoop them up instantaneously. Words that connect phrases are clutter, so leave them out. Instead, type in ellipses (…) to separate phrases.
Because it’s easy to lose your sense of time, most amateurs will rush through their talk. Type in slash marks (///) to remind yourself to pause. Each slash can represent a one-second pause. You will have both long (/////////) and short pauses (//). Put in lots of pauses. Pauses signal your audience to think about what you just said—that you’ve stopped talking so they can absorb.
With everything in place, you’re now able to quickly look down, scoop up a word or phrase, then look at someone in the audience and speak. And then again quickly look down, scoop up another word or phrase, look at someone else in the audience, and speak.
A lecture circuit pro uses only the top half of each page so he doesn’t have to look down. To avoid the flying-page syndrome, he never staples pages together. When he finishes a page, he just slides it to the side. He boldly numbers each page in the upper right-hand corner. If his pages get out of order, he is ably prepared to quickly remedy the situation.
Here’s the opening of Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address:
Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth
on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and
dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
What did Abraham Lincoln actually say when he delivered the Gettysburg Address? No one knows because nobody wrote down Lincoln’s thoughts word for word. The opening lines you just read were from a version of his address jotted down later. We do know that Lincoln stood at Gettysburg holding—but not reading—his talk.
If Lincoln had notes, perhaps they would have looked like this:
Four Score…7…//
Our fathers…continent…new nation.///
Conceived…Liberty//
And dedicated…equal////
If you practice, the missing words will be there for you when you speak. So what if your talk isn’t letter-perfect? Arguments aren’t won with antiseptic readings. They are won by what is hi-touch and has a heart-driven color and feel.
A brochure for handwoven carpets boasts the carpets’ imperfections in color and symmetry of design. It points out how imperfections are inherent in a product crafted entirely by hand. How imperfections are desired more than “the uniformity of color, design, and dimensions” that you get with a machine-made carpet. Link up by letting your personality—imperfections and all—come through in your spoken argument.
Notes are a safety net—but only a net. Being a great reader doesn’t win arguments. Being a conversational speaker does. Content is a totality. You’re always both: your argument’s message and its messenger.
Emergency Moves
Because there are three ways to jump-start a dead-in-the-water talk
People generally speak at a rate of 120 to 150 words per minute (WPM). Our brains can process 500 WPM—plenty of time left over for mental fidgeting. When a speaker is droning on, monotonic, and wordy, his or her audience will lapse into a fake listening mode rather than struggling to stay tuned.
Most speakers are so busy talking that they miss the telltale signs that they’re losing their audience. The following three red-flag warnings signal that you’re in trouble:
1. People are flipping ahead in their handouts.
2. People are looking around. An interested audience will look directly at you unless they’re busy taking notes.
3. The buzz level rises. As listeners become restless, they will start to whisper to those around them.
And here’s the antidote…. Three tricks to jump-start your talk and reenergize your audience are:
Jump-Start #1: Pull something out of left field.
A speaker referred to “an idea so big it was Jurassic.” A luncheon speaker whose topic was “What to Do When the Internal Revenue Service Is in Hot Pursuit” asked his audience the heads-up-and-take-notice question: “Are you having sex with the IRS?” Prepare two or three relevant zingers ahead of time for use when needed.
Jump-Start #2: Toss in a pregnant pause before a key idea.
With a seven- to 10-second pause, listeners will look at you because they’re curious what you’ll say next.
Jump-Start #3: Ask your audience questions.
Questions do more than liven things up. Their answers tell you how it’s going and what your audience wants to learn down the road. For example:
“What are some of the things you would like to know?” or “Where do you stand on this?”
Q&A Tips
Because at the end, audiences always ask questions
Taking questions and answers at the end of your talk will detract from your argument’s close and call for action. Consider taking questions during your presentation or later informally. But if a Q&A session is required….
Tip #1: Relax.
If you know your subject matter well, you’ll be able to answer most questions easily. You’ll be more relaxed if you think of a question as an indication of interest rather than a challenge.
Tip #2: Collect your thoughts.
If a question catches you off guard, take time to collect your thoughts by repeating it. If you don’t know the answer to a question, respond, “That’s a terrific question! Let’s throw that one open for discussion. Who wants to comment on that?”
Tip #3: Use humor.
Using humor to respond to a difficult question is risky. You never want to look like you’re making fun of the questioner or ignoring the other person’s concerns. A humorous acknowledgment should always be followed by a serious explanation.
Tip #4: Don’t drag on.
Limit all of your answers to two minutes maximum. If a questioner wants more details, offer to meet with him or her one-on-one when your talk is finished.
Tip #5: End on a high note.
Winding up your Q&A session by calling for “one last question” can backfire if that question turns out to be dull, negative, or one you don’t know how to answer. Instead, say, “We have time for just a few more questions,” then end your argument on a high note—after the next good question.
Thou Shall Be Cool
Because you may encounter a heckler
Hecklers need to be heard. That need may be a more important need than extracting an answer from you.
Acknowledge your heckler’s question, but keep your eyes away from him or her. When you lock eyes with a heckler, you’re in danger of losing the rest of your audience. Portray the heckler as someone who is trying to build a barrier between you and your audience by reminding the audience of why you’re there: “I can address that issue a little later on, but for now I’m going to stick to the agenda and cover the points everyone has come to hear.” But if you do decide to respond, wait and respond when the time is right for you.
4 Plays to Finesse Hostile Questions
Because you can’t hatch chicks from fried eggs
Recall the empowering secrets of a still center.
Defense Play #1: Finesse loaded questions.
Speak in a firm, calm, controlled voice: “I’m glad you asked that question. Others who once disagreed with me expressed that very same concern” or “At one time I felt differently, just as you do now. But after having seen with my own eyes what’s happening on the streets where there are multiplexes, I now look at things differently. Let me tell you why….”
It’s a feel, felt, found approach: “I understand how you feel. Many others once felt just as you do. They found, however, that….”
Finesse a loaded question by rephrasing it in neutral terms before trying to answer it:
Question: Why did your company stop sponsoring college scholarships?
Answer: I have been asked why our company had to make such a hard choice.
Defense Play #2: Focus on your bottom line.
There is no rule that you have to respond to every point raised. You should, however, acknowledge what’s been asked. Every time you answer a question, it’s an opportunity to make a point—even though that point isn’t directly related to the question. The boomerang tactic loops a question back to your core argument: “I understand what you’ve said. The bottom line issue that must be addressed is….”
Defense Play #3: Anticipate.
Second-guess what will be asked by coming up with the questions you’d pose if you were on the other end of the stick. Then, come armed with an arsenal of your best bits—punchy one-liners, imaginative analogies, quick-to-grasp statistics, arm-twisting facts. You’ll never be on the spot when you’ve anticipated the questions and have an arsenal of answers.
Defense Play #4: Steer clear of hostility.
It’s your tone of voice that empowers you to control a hostile confrontation. Rather than meeting hostility with hostility, modulate your voice and tone so your response is slow, deliberated, and soft-spoken.
If a hostile questioner persists, don’t say “We’re running out of time” or “I think this is getting too involved.” Instead, have a positive comeback: “That’s an interesting point. Let’s discuss it further during the break.” Then quickly break eye contact and search the room for the next inquiry.
Press Conference Reporter: Can you name one president that has told more lies?
Joe Lockhart, Clinton White House Spokesman: I don’t think I’m going to take that question.
Chapter Summary
When providing your audience with a written argument, you’re never sure whether you’ve broken through. With a talk, you’ll get immediate feedback. But playing out your argument in a talk has its slippery slopes. Be prepared to do it right or don’t do it at all.