18
Cross-Cultural Persuasion

Because the world gets smaller every day

“When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” Not “When in Rome do as the Romanians do.”

In our global economy, there’s a good chance you’ll be buying or selling a product or service from someone you never met. Someone who works for a company that you’ve never visited.

When negotiating a deal or settling a dispute, instead of racing to the airport, you’ll probably seek resolution by telephoning, e-mailing, or electronically conferencing. Whether you’re sitting at a keyboard or at a negotiating table, the basics are the same. And the task is the same: to influence a desired outcome.

Sorry, there’s no “one size fits all” approach. No, it’s not enough that you have a warm smile. Not enough that everyone says “you have a great way with people.”

I’m a lawyer in Los Angeles. With globalization, my client base has changed dramatically through the years. I now represent folks from every corner of the globe. Some of those folks live a world away. Others live just down the street. But you don’t leave cultural notions about trust, relationships, morality, and ethics behind. In ways big and small, those notions define who and what we are.

Cultural sensitivity isn’t about trying to be like the other person. You can’t be who you’re not. Nor is it about trying to make the other person more like you.

There’s a difference between “deep culture” and customs.

Customs are about protocol. What you need to know to be polite—who expects a kiss on both cheeks, who expects you to bow, and who expects a gift.

Deep culture is about the other guy’s values. Values that make him who he is. Just as your values make you who you are. Values are non-negotiable. They can’t be changed any more than you can change hearts and minds. When you understand a person’s values, you understand their tendencies. Tendencies because no one is ever exactly how they are supposed to be.

This chapter then is about cultural tendencies—theirs and yours. And about how to reconcile the differences. Changing your expectations. Changing how you deal with, and relate to, the other person.

Early in my law practice I had a rude cultural awakening. I was hired by a group of prominent Middle Eastern businessmen. Flush with oil money, they had come to the United States to invest in real estate.

They would personally identify properties and negotiate the deal. My job was to follow the parade, making sure everything ran smoothly to conclusion.

The first property was a nursery about 2 miles outside of Phoenix, Arizona. Nurseries sit on large parcels of land. The plants and trees they sell occupy a lot of room.

John and Marie were selling because they wanted to move closer to their grandchildren in Michigan.

My clients’ plan was to operate the nursery business for a few years. When Phoenix urban sprawl stretched out to the nursery, they would then shut down the nursery business and build apartments.

The price was a little more than a million dollars cash. At signing, a $50,000 check was deposited in a neutral bank with instructions to pay the deposit to John and Marie upon the transfer of ownership. Title to the business and land would transfer in 60 days. The $50,000 deposit would be the full penalty payment if my clients cancelled.

As soon as the contract was signed, John started preparing for his move north: He quickly found a buyer for his Arizona home, and signed a contract to buy a Michigan house that he and Marie both liked. They enrolled their daughter in a private Michigan school. By the time 55 of the 60 days had lapsed, John was packed. The movers were at the ready. Friends were tearfully hosting goodbye potluck dinners.

Then I got “the call.” “Tell John he can keep the $50,000. The price is way too high. We’ll still buy if the price is reduced to $920,000.”

John was beyond angered. He was also trapped. His life had been changed in ways that would be expensive and almost impossible to unwind. He and Marie had little choice but to agree.

A few months later, I learned that the price reduction tactic was pre-planned. And yes, if John said “no reduction,” my clients still would have closed at the million-dollar price. Even without a reduction, they considered the price a “real bargain.”

John and Marie learned the hard way that in some cultures, a deal is a deal when hands are shaken. In others, a deal is a deal when contracts are signed. In still others, a deal is only a deal when the check clears the bank.

Were my clients immoral and unethical? In the eyes of someone raised in the United States they might be. However, in their eyes, it was “business as usual.”

What would my clients have done if they had found John’s wallet with $1,000 tucked inside? No question. The wallet and money would have been quickly returned to John. In my client’s culture, exploitive business moves are accepted. And that’s what this chapter is all about: cultural tendencies.

Will Time Be Used as a Tool or as a Resource?

Will decisions be made quickly? Or will decisions come only after time is spent in “getting-to-know-you” meetings? Will you need to invest time socializing before getting down to serious business?

There are cultural differences as to what time is about and what it means.

Monochronic cultures: Your appointment time is 3:00 p.m.

GREAT MOMENTS IN SCIENCE: EINSTEIN DISCOVERS THAT TIME IS ACTUALLY
MONEY. – A GARY LARSON CARTOON CAPTION

For me, time is about punctuality, my willingness to wait, and how long I’m willing to listen to long-winded explanations. Time is a critical dynamic of my lifestyle, as it is for most Americans.

Time is compartmentalized and managed. We save time, buy time, spend time, waste time, and make time. We take time commitments seriously. Classes start and end on time. Work schedules have beginning and ending times. Appointments are on time. Yes, an exception is waiting in a doctor’s office in the company of outdated magazines.

Monochronic cultures include the American, German, Canadian, and Northern and Western European countries.

Polychronic cultures: Your appointment time is “sometime in the afternoon.”

Being late for an appointment or taking time to get down to business is the norm. Time is flexible. Creating and strengthening relationships is more important than time ticking away. Plans are changed easily and often. It’s expected. Don’t be surprised if you wait all day for a meeting, only to be told to come back tomorrow.

Polychronic cultures include Latin American, Mediterranean, Arabian, Philippine, Indian, African.

Heads up: Some cultures use delays to show a loss of interest or kill a deal. The Chinese use delays hoping you’ll show your negotiating hand first or grant concessions to keep things on track.

Tip: Don’t reveal travel plans to return home. Instead, offer to spend as much time as it takes to resolve any misunderstandings. Here’s a classic deadline ploy that was sprung on me:

I was in Costa Rica negotiating for some American businessmen who were considering building a local distillery that would convert cane into alcohol. On the night of my arrival, I was invited to a party at the home of the cane grower with whom I would be negotiating. In seemingly idle conversation, he asked how long I would be in San Jose. I told him I would be leaving in three days.

It seemed that only I wanted to talk about cane availability, price, and terms. It was thrust and parry. No sooner would I initiate a business conversation than he would change the subject.

After two and a half sun-drenched days filled with coffee plantations, the Mercado Central, country club lunches, and city tours, he finally initiated the discussions that I had been anxiously waiting to pursue. He knew my deadline. I did not know his. He also knew that I had other commitments back in Los Angeles, that I would feel pressure to make concessions in order to take home a deal, and that clients don’t like flying their lawyer to Costa Rica only to have him come back empty-handed.

Is Their Style Linear or Circular?

Monochronic cultures deal with one subject, or part of a subject, at a time in a linear style that values orderliness.

Polychronic cultures deftly deal with segments or topics all at the same time. Closure isn’t needed in one area before jumping onto the next. Like plate spinners, the pieces are juggled with ease. Discussing matter #1, jumping to matter #2, jumping to matter #3, and then jumping back to matter #1. It’s a “circular style” that values agility.

When meeting with my French restaurateur client, Philippe, he would simultaneously answer phone calls, speak with a never-ending procession of vendors and staff. Hold mini-meetings in English and French, and, yes, talk business with me. Yet throughout it all, Philippe was fully in charge. When I told a group of lawyers about Philippe, one got us all laughing by asking “Doesn’t Philippe know the reason God invented time is so you don’t have to do everything at once?” It was my favorite comment of the day.

At the end of a two-day workshop, I asked my Dubai workshop class if the way I presented materials, answered questions, and shared information would have been different had the class been taught by an Arab. Did they find my linear logic and sequential style too restrictive and too confining? Did it make learning easier? Their answer confirmed what I already knew: It’s easier for a circular style to adapt to a linear style than it is for a linear style to adapt to a circular style.

How Do They Make Decisions?

Collectivism and individualism refer to the connection people have to their work and society. Are they working to accomplish something for themselves? Or are they working for the greater good of their country, their family, or their company?

Collectivist cultures see work as a way of life rather than a means to a better life.

Right is what’s right for the team. Negotiating power flows from team consensus. Decisions aren’t unilaterally made. Calls to the home office should be expected.

On March 11, 2011, a historic 9.0-magnitude undersea earthquake struck off the Japanese coast. Its mega thrust created an extremely destructive, 23-foot tsunami wave that caused the partial meltdown of three nuclear reactors. Japan calls them the “Faceless 50”—the Fukushima nuclear plant workers who stayed on the job keeping the reactors from melting down. According to Mark Magnier, in a March 17, 2011 article for the Los Angeles Times, their “collective consciousness is almost second nature….The group-first mentality is nurtured by years of conditioning from parents and teachers…. Some even contend it is a sensitivity bred into the Japanese soul. There is pride in the apparent lack of looting, egregious price gouging, and the orderly acceptance of the need to ration water and gasoline.”

In China, a team’s collective decisions may have been made well in advance of your meeting. When you do meet, their predetermined collective decision is announced.

Collectivist cultures include Asian and Latin American.

Individualist cultures view work relationships as less meaningful than personal relationships and the quality of life. Accomplishing tasks, not team relationships, is job #1. Power is vested in individuals. Independent thinking and self-determination are valued, and people speak for themselves.

Individualist cultures include American, Dutch, French, British, and Nordic.

Marketers are aware of cultural differences. According to Hana Albers in a May 11, 2009 article in Forbes, Samsung had differing ad campaign pitches for the same phone: For the individualist American market, the advertising message was “I march to the beat of my own drum.” For the collectivist Korean market, the campaign focus was on how the phone would keep families connected.

Who Makes the Decisions?

High-power distance cultures respect authority, status, and rank differences. Differences that may be based on age, sex, seniority, competency, schooling, and sometimes connections. The company’s more powerful individuals initiate and end conversations. Dictate who interrupts. Who is interrupted. Speak as often and as long as they want. Make undisputed decisions. The boss is always right because he’s the boss.

Bypassing a superior can kill any chance of conflict resolution.

High-power distance cultures include Latin American, South Asian, and some Arab cultures.

Low-power distance cultures believe in equality and strive for equal power among people. Group members consult with each other. The boss is only right when he gets it right.

Low-power Distance cultures include American, Israeli, Nordic, Swiss, Australian, and German.

Are They Uncertainty-Adverse or Uncertainty-Tolerant?

Uncertainty avoidance is about risk-taking, whether one feels comfortable with uncertainty, unpredictability, and ambiguity, and whether the decision-maker is more likely to belabor every point or make “shoot-from-the-hip” calls.

Cultures less likely to take risks: The decision-making process is more methodical. Slower. Detail-oriented. Comfort comes from relying on formal rules, procedures, and standards.

High-risk-avoidance cultures include Greek, Italian, Spanish, Mexican, French, Portuguese, Guatemalan, and Japanese.

Cultures comfortable with risk: They require less information, and have fewer people involved in the decision-making process. Decisions are made on a “gut” level. What feels right. Working through a business hierarchy is seen as inefficient. There’s a strong individual achievement motivation. A motivation that prompts a willingness to take risks.

Sam was from the Middle East. Sam heard that a new car dealership facing hard economic times was anxious to sell. Sam had cash and was anxious to buy. Without the assistance of lawyers or advisors, Sam bought the dealership over a dinner meeting. The deal was memorialized in a handwriting that was less than two pages long. If the printing had been smaller, one page would have been enough.

The sale was not disclosed to the car manufacturer (one of the “Big Three”) until a few weeks after possession of the dealership had changed hands. The manufacturer declined to honor the sale—Sam had no new car dealership experience.

My client Joe ended his four days at a Las Vegas hotel owing the casino about $600,000 in gambling debt. Joe had been given credit and kept signing markers as his run of bad luck continued. He asked me to negotiate a discount by arguing that it was unfair and unreasonable for the casino to continue extending credit to someone who had been drinking (but wasn’t drunk) and was clearly obsessed with trying to win. A small discount and an interest-free payout program were negotiated.

After the case was settled, the casino manager visited with me. “Bob, the big risk-takers are the folks you’ll see in our special high-stakes gaming rooms. For the most part they are Asians and Middle Easterners. When it comes to risk, they have nerves of steel. It’s those risk-takers that we cater to.”

Are You Ready to Hear What They Don’t Say?

Context is probably the most critical dynamic in the art of influencing outcomes. It’s also the hardest to define.

Context is best defined with examples:

Having the best argument or the most charisma is not as important as showing you care about the relationship being forged in high-context cultures. At a rug dealer in Morocco, the owner wouldn’t talk about his selection of rugs without my wife and me first sitting and visiting over tea.

Treating contracts as binding documents can be insulting and detrimental to a high-context culture relationship. But being too informal can be detrimental in a low-context culture.

Americans view negotiating as a process of offers and counteroffers. Japanese view negotiating as a process of information-sharing.

In Arab cultures, negotiating is aggressive and is part of the process of developing a personal relationship. But Japanese and Chinese view negotiating as dysfunctional. Instead they use indirect rather than confrontational approaches.

In the United States, we embrace our right of personal freedom, and the dignity and entitlement of ordinary persons. The experience of individualism and the rule of law. That’s our context. It’s what give us a clear sense of who we are and where we’re going. My culture forecasts my tendencies and how I relate to others.

High-context cultures attribute little value to words alone. Much is left to what isn’t said. Culture explains what isn’t said. For words to have value, their express meaning has to be coupled with their unstated, implicit meaning. Implicit meaning is imparted by the surrounding context—cultural history, the role of relationships, customs, and shared beliefs.

A commonality of knowledge, sense of purpose, and views among members are assumed. Knowing how to act in a situation, what’s “right,” is acquired through experience and custom. Through context.

Remember: We’re talking about tendencies. Context is not high or low in any absolute sense. Each action and reaction falls somewhere along a high-to-low continuum. A 55-year-old Japanese businessman may view things differently than his 25-year-old son. But in some ways, and at some times, the father and son are at different points on the same high-context continuum.

High-context cultures include Chinese, Italian, Greek, Japanese, Korean, Arab, Mexican, and Spanish.

Tip: If you’re using an interpreter, ask for your interpreter’s impression of what isn’t being said, but is implied.

Low-context cultures lay out everything in words. Little is assumed. The express message means everything. What’s important is what is actually said. What is written. Verbal and nonverbal communications are wordier. Lacking implicit information, there’s a need to convey more factual information. Every word is meaningful.

Low-context cultures include Canadian, German, Nordic, and French.

Heads up: Interactions between high- and low-context peoples can be problematic. For example, Japanese do not distinguish between personal and business relationships. High-context Japanese may find low-context Americans to be offensively blunt. Americans may find Japanese secretive, devious, and not forthcoming with information.

Bridging Differences: Who Gives In?

Americans are appreciative of compromise as a solution to impasse. For the French, compromise is sometimes seen as an insult to carefully crafted logic.

In the Middle East, compromise may give rise to a negative sense of giving in. My Israeli clients see things in black and white. Right and wrong. Fair and unfair. They are slow to compromise.

My Egyptian client, Ali, compromises only after he exhaustingly considers and evaluates each and all of his alternatives. He isn’t concerned with expediency, but with what’s his best-deliberated alternative.

Some cultures don’t treat compromise as the answer to impasses because of a need to maintain self-esteem.

Here’s the reality: Each side wants the discussions to go well. Cultural sensitivity is understanding and talking about the differences in how you and they act and feel. It’s too easy to get annoyed with people who don’t think the way you do. Sympathize with their views and patiently work towards resolution.

Do you compromise? The answer is a simple one. How badly do you want to do the deal?

19 Tips From the Persuasion Pros

Tip #1: Just because someone speaks English doesn’t mean he shares your values. It’s possibly still his second language. If English is his second language:

Speak slowly. Keep it simple. Use short, common words that don’t have more than one meaning.

Don’t use slang expressions, idioms, or figures of speech: “A ballpark number is….” “Let’s put that on the back burner.” “I don’t want to play hardball.” “This is what’s eating me.” “Run that past me again.” “Think outside the box.”

Don’t use industry jargon, corporate-ese, legal-ese: “Here’s the loophole.” “Tipping point.”

Tip #2: Use visual aids to avoid information overload. Color-coding charts and graphs show how individual areas are connected.

Tip #3: Be aware of their possible influences: their economy political influences, corporate culture and corporate restraints, and individual personalities. (The other guy may just be a “difficult” person. Every culture has them.)

Tip #4: Strategize an agenda with the other side. Should primary or secondary issues be discussed first?

Tip #5: Think win-win. Having a global mindset is not about outgunning, outfoxing, and out-maneuvering the other side. It’s about trust and positive feelings.

Tip #6: If the other side becomes manipulative, unethical, or deceptive, don’t retaliate. Stop the negotiations and say why you find his behavior unacceptable.

Common unacceptable tactics: misleading about one’s authority, or lack of authority, to make a deal. Demanding last-minute concessions to avoid the deal being killed.

Tip #7: Be protocol- and customs-sensitive. Learn what’s expected with regard to the use of first names. What to wear. Conduct at social events. The importance of business cards. After-hours socializing. Gifts: how, when, and what. Body language and personal space: how close and how far? Americans feel a firm handshake is a sign of sincerity and honesty. In the Middle East, a gentle grip is appropriate. Arab men may not shake hands with a woman.

Tip #8: Be professional. Don’t be too informal. Don’t over-personalize. Don’t place blame. Relationship-building is about trust, dependability, and candor. Being too nice or too kind can make the person-to-person linkage suspect.

Tip #9: Be polite. Japanese are hesitant to do business with people who are seemingly impolite or brash.

Tip #10: Who are you? Let others know your experience and accomplishments without being full-of-yourself. Send advance information about you and your company. In Asian countries, it’s important that your counterparts know your status.

Tip #11: If there is a misunderstanding, slow things down. Try to figure how the problem arose and work to remedy it. Discuss cultural differences. Collectively plan how to best proceed. Seek general agreements rather than specific agreements.

Tip #12: If you are using an interpreter, speak to your counterpart, not to the interpreter. Yours or theirs. Have your interpreter make sure that the other side’s interpreter is accurately reporting what you’re saying.

Tip #13: Learn as much as you can about each member of the other side’s team. Be aware of status considerations: Who should sit next to whom? Who should talk first? To whom will you address your comments?

Tip #14: Plan in advance how you will deal with impasses. There is no one right way. Understand their culture and the importance of self-esteem and saving face.

Tip #15: Understand their culture’s common negotiating tactics and plan how you will neutralize or counter them.

Tip #16: Having a winning global mindset requires listening more carefully than you are accustomed to. Well-thought-out questioning. Preparation that is up to the task at hand. The versatility to change approaches until you find one that accomplishes your goal.

Tip #17: We all feel emotions. But in some cultures, expressing those emotions is considered immature. Displaying anger can be destructive in Asia because it disturbs the harmony necessary for relationship-building. In Asia, it’s generally best to keep your feelings to yourself.

Tip #18: Leave your wheeler-dealer, roll-up-your-shirt-sleeves, go-for-goal style at home. Most often, it will be counterproductive. The key to winning is focusing on interests and needs, not positions. What are their needs? What are their concerns and problems?

Tip #19: Remember the 11^th commandment: “Thou shall be cool.”

Chapter Summary

Spend less time learning to use chopsticks or how to speak their language (an interpreter will do a better job anyway) and more time sensitizing yourself to the other person’s deep-rooted cultural tendencies. From that understanding flows the power of versatility. The power to influence outcomes. The power of a global mindset.