Zoe
“Did I say something wrong?” I asked the other man after Dagger fled the room.
He smirked. “No. He doesn’t trust himself around a virgin. Guy like Dagger? You dangled forbidden fruit in front of him. He knows he’s too rough and hard for someone like you, but thinking of being your first? Yeah, it’s going to fuck with his head for a while. I’m Jared.”
“Zoe,” I said. Damn it. I wasn’t a virgin, but if I told them, would it make me fair game for anyone here?
His gaze caressed me, paying close attention to my hair. I sighed, knowing he wondered why I had blonde hair and blue eyes if I was from Mexico. A lot of people didn’t know my people weren’t all dark haired and dark eyed. It had been offensive at first, but now I was just tired of trying to explain why I looked different from what they expected. “Zoe Lopez,” I said. “Yes, I’m really Mexican.”
“I should get the keys to those cuffs and get you out of here.”
I eyed the cuff on my wrist and followed it to the headboard. “Why does he have these on his bed?”
Jared coughed and his cheeks turned a little pink. “Uh, yeah. So I’m just going to find the keys and you can be on your way. Start praying he doesn’t remember you’re cuffed to his bed.”
I eyed the cuffs again. I’d read books, watched movies. I just hadn’t realized people actually did things like tie up their partners. Why would they want to? I didn’t understand even a little. I yanked at the cuff. I might not be a virgin, but I was still innocent when it came to men. My first, and only, time hadn’t been with my consent. The result of that incident was why I’d escaped Mexico and taken this opportunity.
Jared rummaged in the bedside table, then stood with his hands on his hips. “So, there’s no key in here, which means Dagger must have it. I need to go get it. Promise I’ll be right back.”
He ran from the room. I’d really thought they were together. Twice now I’d seen them kissing and doing other things. My cheeks warmed as I recalled the way Jared had taken Dagger’s cock. No, the way Dagger had forced him to take it. I’d seen the look of pure bliss on Jared’s face. Did he really like it when Dagger took control?
I eyed the cuffs again. Did Dagger shackle Jared to the bed and do other things? It was clear they liked each other, trusted one another. At nineteen, I knew I had plenty of time to find someone like that, a man who would love me, care for me, give me pleasure and passion. But I didn’t think I’d find it anytime soon, and if I hadn’t managed to get away from that guy last night, I’d have lost my faith in men completely. Being violated once was bad enough, but twice? Did these guys see women as fair game if they were unattached?
It wasn’t Jared who returned, but Dagger, with the key in his hand. He knelt next to the bed and unlocked the cuffs. His hands were gentle as he rubbed my wrist, a stark contrast with the large man who had been so demanding earlier.
“I want a name,” he said, his tone gruff. “I don’t believe for a second you don’t know who grabbed you.”
I shook my head. There was no way I was telling him anything. If I did and the guy got angry, things would be much worse. I’d not seen his name, but I did see something. A title. He held a position of rank here, and I wasn’t about to rat out someone in a position of power. He could hurt me, make my life hell, or worse… toss me out of here. I didn’t have a penny to my name or a way to provide for myself. I’d end up on the street.
“Little girl, I can’t protect you if I don’t know who tried to go too far.”
“I’m not a child,” I said, lifting my chin.
A smile flirted along his lips, but he stifled it. “Not a kid, huh? You’re what? All of eighteen?”
“Nineteen,” I mumbled. He didn’t have to poke fun at me just because I was young.
He did smile that time, a quick lifting of his lips on one corner. He reached out, took my chin between his fingers and held my gaze. “Still can’t protect you if I don’t know who it’s from.”
“It doesn’t matter. You’re not gay and I can’t stay here.”
Jared appeared in the doorway behind him. “Dagger, why don’t you let her stay at least through dinner?”
Neither of them had hurt me, or tried to touch me inappropriately. Even if they weren’t gay, I still felt safe with Jared and Dagger. Being here even a little while was better than returning to the apartment I shared with one of the other women. It wasn’t that any of them were cruel, but they weren’t my friends either.
“I’m grilling steaks,” Dagger said. “We have plenty if you’d like to stay.”
“Stay here with both of you?” I asked, wanting to clarify Jared would be here too. Dagger on his own was a force I wasn’t ready to tackle.
He nodded. “Yeah, it’s movie night. Every Wednesday we grill out and binge-watch a few movies. Unless the club has something going on.”
I wanted to. More than anything, but I’d looked forward to staying in for the night. Hiding in my room wasn’t much fun, but I didn’t like being around a lot of people. At night, I could pretend I was at least going to sleep and avoid everyone. I’d been eager to change into the only comfortable thing I owned, a pajama set. It was the one purchase I’d permitted myself when we got here. The other women had bought new clothes, shoes, and other things they wanted with the money Grizzly had given us. Even though they’d been trying to buy a way for their families to come here, none of them had something as precious as I did back in Mexico. Every cent I got needed to go back home, if I could manage it. I’d asked one of the men wearing a leather vest with Prospect on it to help me mail the package.
“Sugar, why are you wearing this rag when I know damn well our Pres gave you cash to buy new stuff?” Dagger asked.
I stiffened, dropping my gaze and releasing the hem of my dress. I hadn’t even realized I was toying with it as I’d thought about wanting to change. “I needed the money for something else.”
“Who do you have back home? You were working in that hellhole to bring someone here. You got a boyfriend back home? Fiancé?”
I shook my head. Not even close. “Nothing like that.”
“Then who?” Dagger asked.
“My… little brother,” I said. “I’m all he has left. He’s staying with a friend, and I send money back to help pay for his clothes and food. If I don’t, they might throw him out. He’s only three.”
Please believe me. If they called my bluff and I had to tell them Luis was my son, I didn’t know what would happen. Right now, they believed I’d never been with a man. I wanted to trust them, but part of me held back, regardless of how safe they made me feel. They were still strangers, and I’d learned the hard way never to trust a man.
“Brother.” Dagger’s gaze held mine. “Your brother who is sixteen years younger than you? How many other siblings do you have? Why are you only taking care of one?”
I hadn’t thought my lie through very well, but I’d hoped he’d take my answer and leave me be. It didn’t seem that was going to happen. Jared moved in closer and I felt pinned in by the two of them. Oddly, it didn’t scare me, but there was a flutter in my stomach I couldn’t label.
“Angel, I’m pretty sure we all know he’s not your brother. So, who is he to you?” Jared asked.
I twisted my hands in my lap, wishing I could get up and make a run for it, but it wasn’t like I could go far. What would they do if I told the truth? Would Dagger cuff me to the bed again? Or worse, would he tell Grizzly? The older man seemed nice, but I didn’t know what his plans were for me and the others. Just because he seemed like a good guy didn’t mean anything.
Dagger gripped my hair and forced me to focus on him. “Who’s the boy, princesa?”
“Mi hijo.”
“Was that so difficult?” His gaze held mine. “So, not a virgin, but probably close to it. If your boy is three, you were only sixteen when he was born. Was it your choice?”
I licked my lips. “Are you asking if it was my choice to have him, or my choice to get pregnant in the first place?”
“He’s asking if you were raped,” Jared said softly.
“Sí.” It had brought shame on my parents when I’d become pregnant, and they hadn’t cared how it happened. I’d been tossed from the house. It had been hard to keep a roof over my head and food in my belly, even harder to take care of my son after he’d been born. Luis had been two months old when the opportunity presented itself to come to this country and earn passage for my son. Except no amount of work I did ever seemed to earn his passage.
“Who has him?” Dagger asked.
“A woman I met while I was pregnant. She has a family of her own, but agreed to keep Luis for me if I sent money to cover his expenses. I didn’t get much cash before coming here, but I sent her what I had.”
“Tell me who she is and where she is,” Dagger said. “I’m getting your boy here one way or another. No more money goes to that bitch. You never should have been forced to leave your kid behind.”
“Dagger, how the fuck are you going to…” Jared clamped his lips shut at a glare from the man in front of me. “Right. So, this is Devil’s Fury Dagger and not the man who had his cock in my mouth. I’m just the lowly Prospect right now. I get it.”
Jared stormed off and I heard a door slam. Had he left me here? Alone with Dagger? I clutched at the bedding on either side of me and fought the urge to bolt from the room. Dagger pulled a phone from his pocket and made a call.
“I need papers for…” I told him my name. “Zoe Lopez, and her son Luis. I also need someone to bring the kid here,” he said. “Somewhere in Mexico. I’ll get more details and send them over.” I didn’t hear what was said on the other end of the call, but it made Dagger scowl. “What the fuck does that mean? Outlaw, if you can’t handle it, get Wire to do it.”
He growled at whatever was said next, then ended the call. His gaze locked on mine and the fury I saw was enough to make me put more space between us. I didn’t know what the other person had said, but it wasn’t good. I trembled as I scooted farther across the bed. He reached out and grabbed my ankle, but he didn’t hurt me, or try to yank me back toward him. Just held on. “I can get your boy here, but you won’t like how it’s done,” he said.
With men, it generally meant one thing. They always seemed to want something in return. The previous deal I’d made had been to sew clothing. I knew a man like Dagger wouldn’t have use of that skill, nor would his club. “Would I have to whore myself out?” I asked.
He gave a dark chuckle, making my hair stand up. “Only to me.”
My heart slammed against my ribs. “What? I don’t understand.”
“Outlaw said making you and your boy legal citizens is not as easy as it seems. I know other clubs must have handled this shit before, but he’s refusing to reach out to anyone. The only way he’ll make you and your son legal citizens is if you’re my wife. How the fuck is that red tape any easier to get through? I honestly think he’s fucking with me.”
“La esposa?”
He nodded. “I know he has to be full of shit. He can damn well work his magic without us getting married. If he can’t, Wire can do it. There’s no way Saint’s woman was a legit citizen before he claimed her, or without some illegal help. Maybe I should call someone else. Ever since Outlaw took a woman, he’s been different. Softer.”
“If he doesn’t need us to actually be married, then why ask?”
“Because he knows if you’re mine I’ll stop at nothing to keep you safe. And same goes for your son.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. I’d noticed he did that when he seemed agitated. “If that’s what you want, I’ll do it, but it won’t be in name only. There are men out there who wouldn’t give a shit they had a spouse at home, but I’m not one of them. If I’m married to you, I won’t be fucking around with the girls at the clubhouse.”
Not the girls, but with Dagger, there were other options. Even if he didn’t partake in what was freely given by the women who came to party, what about the men? One in particular came to mind. “What about Jared?” I asked.
He shook his head, released me, and stood up. “I’ll end it. You’re not that kind of woman.”
What did that mean? Did he think I wouldn’t let him be with Jared? It wasn’t conventional by any means, but maybe we could be together in name only and he could keep his relationship with the other man. Except he’d said he wasn’t gay and liked women too. Would he want to have both of us? Was that what he’d meant by his comment? I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, especially since I didn’t know if Jared would only be with Dagger or would be with other people. I didn’t want to risk him giving something to the two of us.
“I wouldn’t care if you wanted to keep seeing Jared, but if you’re going to be with me too, would he be offended if you used condoms?” I asked. “Just for safety reasons.”
He tipped his head back and stared at the ceiling, muttering under his breath. “Princesa, that’s not what I meant. The kind of relationship I want, the kind I need, means I’d have you both. In my bed. At the same fucking time. It wouldn’t just be me and him, or me and you. It would be the three of us.”
“The three of us.” I still didn’t know what he meant. How would something like that even work?
“We’d both fuck you, princesa. And each other. When we went to bed at night, you’d be between the two of us. I can tell by the innocence in your eyes, that’s not for you. The only experience you have with men is your rapist, and it doesn’t count because it wasn’t sex. It was an act of violence.”
Could I be with two men? I’d thought that sort of thing only happened in books, movies, or maybe at wild parties. But as an everyday thing? I had a hard time imagining myself with a man as large and… alpha as Dagger. Add Jared to the mix, and I didn’t think I could handle it. Although, the other man seemed more laid back and sweet. They seemed to be opposites, which is probably what made their relationship work. Jared softened Dagger’s hard edges, and Dagger… I didn’t know what he did for Jared, other than apparently give him pleasure.
“Tell me what you want me to do,” he said, his voice lower but far from gentle. I didn’t think he had a tender side, despite the way he’d rubbed my wrist earlier.
“You’d give up Jared, or your chance to have the type of relationship you want, just to bring my son here?” I asked.
“Boy doesn’t need to be with strangers. He should be with his madre.”
I studied Dagger, noting his tanned skin and dark hair. His eyes were a warm chocolate. Ink covered what I could see of his skin from neck to waist, including a rosary and the Virgin Mary. I’d seen those types of tattoos back home. Then he had others I didn’t recognize. He sounded American, but he wasn’t as white as Jared. I wondered about his heritage. The way he spoke…
“You toss in Spanish words as if it’s no effort on your part,” I said.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “My mother was half Hispanic and half white. My grandmother immigrated here from Mexico City when she was young, and fell in love with my grandfather. She taught me a little. My dad was Samoan, and some of my ink is in honor of his family heritage.”
I wanted to say yes, to bring Luis here, but I wasn’t sure I could handle belonging to Dagger. He moved closer and sat on the edge of the bed, facing away from me. His shoulders hunched, and it was the first time he’d appeared uncertain, or perhaps burdened was a better word. “Before you say yes, there’s something you need to know. It’s not something anyone at the club knows, not even Jared. I’m clean. Get tested every fucking month.”
Wouldn’t he have shared that with the man he was with? Or any other person for that matter. I didn’t understand why it would be a secret. “Okay. You make that sound bad.”
He made a sound, part laugh and part derision. “I get tested because of my past. Going to the clinic every month isn’t the secret. It’s the why. I’m always worried the last test was wrong and something will pop up on the next one. Most of the guys don’t go as often as I do, but I can’t take any chances.”
“So, you were with a lot of women. I’d thought that was common for men,” I said.
He stared straight ahead, not looking at me. I crept a little closer, but kept my distance, not because I was afraid, but because I felt as if he needed some space. Whatever he was trying to say, it obviously weighed on him. What was so horrible about his past?
“My family is gone. My grandparents died in a car crash when I was thirteen. Two years later, I lost my parents to a fire. The system wasn’t kind to a kid like me. I ran before my sixteenth birthday and lived on the streets. Only one way to stay safe out there and that was to pay for protection. Except I didn’t have anything to offer.”
My heart ached for him. I knew what he’d offered. Himself. It’s why I’d fought so hard to make a better life for my son, to get us both out of Mexico. I didn’t want that life for either of us, and with no job skills other than being able to sew, I knew it wouldn’t have been long before I ended up on my back. I didn’t look down on anyone who’d been forced into that life, or chosen it, but I’d known it wasn’t something I was willing to do. It sounded like Dagger still struggled with his decision.
“Started out just being the one guy who said he’d keep me safe, but things changed. A guy offered him money to have an hour with me, and he took it. After that, my protector became my pimp, whoring me out. I could have left, but I had nowhere to go. At least if I stayed with Rick, I knew he’d watch out for me, make sure no one went too far. Out on my own, I’d have probably ended up raped. And yes, I know what happened to me is essentially the same thing, but it was still safer. I didn’t bulk up until I was closer to twenty. Scrawny kid on the streets didn’t stand a chance.”
I couldn’t stop the tears from falling down my cheeks, and I reached out, placing my hand on his back. He tensed, but didn’t pull away. I wondered how long he’d kept this bottled up. He said no one here knew about his past, yet he was sharing it with me. Even though we were strangers, he had to trust me at least a little to keep his secret. If he’d not wanted the club to know, surely he wouldn’t have told me if he didn’t believe I’d hold his confidence. Or maybe it’s because of what I’d been through that he felt a connection of some sort?
“I eventually ran when I was eighteen. Didn’t have a single fucking life skill except sucking cock and taking it up the ass. Grizzly found me. Offered me a spot here as a Prospect. Worked my ass off doing shit jobs, but I had a roof over my head and food in my stomach, and I didn’t have to bend over or hit my knees to get it. I eventually earned my patch and my name. Never did tell him where I’d come from or what I’d been. He never asked.”
“I won’t tell anyone,” I said, pressing myself closer to him. If anyone ever needed comfort, it was this man. I wrapped my arm around him and laid my cheek against his shoulder. “If you thought it would make me see you as less, you’re wrong.”
He sighed, but I felt a little of the tension leave him. Maybe telling me about his past had lifted some of the burden. I knew keeping secrets could weigh you down.
“I always knew if I settled down I’d have to tell my partner, whether they were female, male, or I got lucky and had one of each. It’s why I’ve always kept things casual, never made any commitments. As long as we were just having fun, then it wasn’t their business. I was clean and that was all that mattered.”
“Jared doesn’t know,” I said. “Were you going to tell him?”
“Someday. Maybe. Depends on whether he sticks around for the long haul. We’ve just been having fun, no commitment.”
He reached up and wrapped his hand around my wrist. I’d thought he meant to pry me loose, but he held on. Was his rough side, that dark edge, because of what he’d been through? I would imagine for a big guy like him, not having control had been difficult. It would explain his need to be so dominant now. I could respect that, and everything he’d survived.
“Can I stay here while I think about it?” I asked. “Get used to being around you, and see if we’re even compatible?”
He nodded. “There’s a guest room. You can stay there. No fucking clue why I have one because I didn’t need the room for anything. Used to be a club whore here who liked to decorate homes and shit. When Grizzly had these houses put in, he let her put basic furnishings in a few. Some of the guys wanted to pick their own shit, but I picked a furnished house. If it had been up to me, that room would be empty like the others.”
“Others?” I asked.
“House has four bedrooms. This one, the guest room, and then two others. Never use more than this bedroom. I don’t even go in the other three. If you decide to stay, decide to be mine, we can set up one of the other bedrooms for your son.” He cracked his neck. “Our son, I guess. If you want me to marry you.”
And that right there was the main reason I was even going to consider this insanity. If I married Dagger, he not only offered to be faithful, but my son would have a father. I just had to decide if I could handle being with Dagger and another man, or if it would mean asking him to give up Jared, or any other man he’d want to settle down with. There was a chance Jared wouldn’t want any part of this and would walk. I didn’t know how Dagger would react if that happened.
“Looks like it’s just us for dinner,” Dagger said. “I’ll go start the grill.”
I released him as he stood, but he turned to face me. There was still a haunted look in his eyes, and I wished I knew how to chase it away. He was offering me so much, and I had nothing to give him in return.
“You don’t have to make the steaks. I know you wanted to have them with Jared.” And then I’d come here and wrecked their plans, and possibly more. What if my being here tore the two of them apart?
“Not sure that’s going to happen anytime soon.” He glanced around the room before turning his gaze to me. “You need more than things like that dress. You up for going out to eat? We can make a quick stop at the superstore, get you some shorts or something.”
“You don’t have to buy me clothes.”
He smiled a little. “Yeah, princesa. I do. Can’t have you in things like that. The sunlight let me see straight through it, and while I enjoyed the view, I don’t like the idea of you running around here with all these men being able to see what’s under your dress.”
If I were going to consider marrying him, even if it were only for the sake of getting my son here, then I needed to learn to let someone help take care of me. I could tell Dagger wasn’t the type to let his woman do things on her own. He might be bossy, but I had no doubt he’d protect and provide for any woman he claimed. “All right. But only a few things,” I agreed. “I don’t need much.”
“We’ll see, princesa. We’ll see.” He eyed me again. “Can’t have you riding on my bike in that, though. We’ll have to go up to the clubhouse and get the keys to a club truck or SUV. Need the space for your new things anyway. Just need to find something to cover you up before we leave.”
I wasn’t going to argue. For now. But if he tried to buy too much, I wouldn’t accept. I didn’t need anyone spending a bunch of money on me, not when it could be used for something better… like bringing my son here. A few changes of clothes were more than enough. I could always wash them. It wasn’t like I needed a new outfit for every day of the week. That might be important to some women, but not to me.
He pulled a button-down shirt from his closet and helped me put it on. I only fastened it partway, and Dagger had to roll the sleeves. It hung on me, nearly as long as my dress, but I supposed that’s the way he wanted it. Part of me liked the thought of someone caring whether or not another man could see through my clothes. It had been a long time since anyone took an interest in my wardrobe or well-being. The only other kindness I’d been extended was being left here, because it seemed this man would help me get my son back, one way or another.
* * *
Jared
Any other time, I’d use one of the club whores to work out my frustrations, but it felt wrong. Yeah, I’d fucked a few, or let them suck me off, since I’d been with Dagger, but I’d thought we actually had something. I might just be a Prospect as far as the club was concerned, but I’d thought I meant more to him. The look he’d shot my way when I’d questioned him had proven that to be false.
So why wasn’t I balls-deep in club pussy right now?
Because I was a fucking moron, that’s why. Even though Dagger had made me feel like shit, like I wasn’t worthy to be included in the conversation, I still wanted him. It wasn’t even just that. He wasn’t the only one who had gotten hard over seeing Zoe out in the yard. The woman had some serious curves, and her skin felt like satin. I had to wonder if Dagger had even considered the possibility Shella had never been the one for us, and little Zoe dropped into our laps for a reason.
She seemed sweet and innocent. Maybe too much so. Could she even handle being with two men? My dick got harder thinking about it. Picturing her lips wrapped around my cock while Dagger fucked her from behind. I didn’t know if that was something Dagger even wanted, or if Zoe would agree to it. And since I’d stormed off, I wouldn’t be finding out anytime soon.
I knew I needed time to cool down and think things over, and Dagger was probably pissed as hell at me. I’d try to see him tomorrow. That should give both of us enough time to clear our heads, and maybe we could have a conversation so I could figure out exactly where I stood with him. If he was going to help Zoe get her kid back, I wanted to be part of it too. I’d seen the look in her eyes and knew she was hurting. I didn’t know how Dagger would pull it off, but if he gave her his word, I knew he’d come through one way or another. I shouldn’t have questioned him, not in front of Zoe. If it had just been the two of us, then he wouldn’t have thought anything of it.
“Way to go, asshole. You let your emotions get the better of you again,” I muttered to myself.
Having twenty-twenty hindsight was a bitch.