Zoe
I peered out the front window for the hundredth time in the last twenty minutes. When Guardian had received the text from Dagger about the size clothes and shoes Luis needed, he’d insisted we go get what our son needed. The clothes I’d picked out before were the wrong sizes, so we’d returned them and bought some new things. Then I’d tossed the new things into the washer so they’d be clean and ready to wear when Luis arrived.
“Baby, they’ll get here when they get here,” Guardian said, wrapping his arm around my waist and tugging me from the window. “Staring down the road isn’t going to make them move faster.”
“What if he doesn’t like me?” I asked. “What if he hates me for leaving him?”
“He’s three, Zoe. He’s probably scared, confused, and he’s going to need time to adjust. I don’t think he understands you left him, and he may not remember you. We just need to give him some time, all right?”
I knew he was right. I was overthinking everything, and panicking a little. It didn’t help that Guardian had said a man was heading this way, someone called Juan. I wondered if it was the man who had raped me, or if he was merely part of the cartel. Whoever he was, I’d been assured he wouldn’t get anywhere near me. When we’d gone shopping, four other men had been with us. They’d kept their distance, but I’d felt safer knowing that it wasn’t just me and Guardian out there.
Guardian led me to the kitchen, then gently shoved me down onto a chair. “Sit and I’ll get you something to drink. Decaf, I think, since you’re already jittery.”
“So, water?” I asked.
He grinned. “Yeah, water. And maybe a snack so your hands are occupied. You look like you’re about to crawl out of your skin. It’s going to be fine. Promise.”
Guardian popped a bag of kettle corn, gave me a glass of ice water, then claimed the seat next to me. He seemed so calm. Why wasn’t he freaking out? He’d seemed excited at the store, and had even bought a few toys for Luis in addition to the clothes and shoes, but now he was all laid back and… I watched him. No, he wasn’t. He was pretending. I saw the way he slightly vibrated and realized he was bouncing his leg under the table.
“You’re just as nervous,” I said.
“Never had a kid before. I don’t want to fuck up. Besides, you’re scared your own son won’t like you. If he doesn’t like you, why the hell would he want to be around me?”
I hadn’t thought of it like that. A door slammed outside and I jolted, but Guardian reached over and clamped his hand around my wrist to hold me in place. My heart was racing, and I wanted to run out and greet them, but I held still. The front door opened and I heard Dagger murmuring, the timbre of his voice soothing. I turned to face the kitchen doorway and I wanted to cry when my husband walked in with our son in his arms.
Luis seemed at ease, and looked at both me and Guardian in curiosity. It had to be a good sign he appeared so relaxed. He’d only spent a few hours with Dagger and had already accepted him. Maybe that meant I’d been worried for no reason. Guardian released me and I stood, walking slowly toward my son.
“Luis, do you remember me?” I asked. He didn’t so much as blink. I looked at Dagger, feeling helpless.
“Luis, esta es tu madre,” Dagger said.
My son peered at me, but didn’t seem overly eager to release Dagger. I couldn’t really blame him. I rather liked being in those arms too. When Dagger held me, I felt safe and secure, and I realized my son felt the same way. I ran my fingers through Luis’ hair, but tried not to scare him. I felt a presence behind me, and noticed Luis lock his gaze onto something. Guardian. I glanced over my shoulder and realized he’d come to meet his new son.
“Does he understand any English?” I asked. As far as I knew, Guardian didn’t know Spanish. I didn’t want him to feel excluded from anything we said to Luis.
“I’m not entirely sure,” Dagger said. “I found him at a compound owned by the cartel, hidden in a tower room with other boys. They’d left a guard up there, and the asshole pointed his gun at them when we entered. I don’t know what he’s been exposed to in the last few years. So far, he hasn’t said a word.”
My heart ached for my little boy, and I wondered what horrors he’d faced. I didn’t know why they’d wanted him, or the other kids, but it couldn’t be for anything good. Those men were rotten to their very cores.
As much as I hated leaving Guardian out of the conversation, I decided to only use Spanish when I spoke to Luis until he opened up a little more. I hoped that was the right decision.
“Are you hungry?” I asked my son.
He curled tighter into Dagger, but gave a slight nod. Progress! I’d made tamales for lunch yesterday, and we had some left over. While I warmed them, Dagger sat at the table with Luis still in his arms, and Guardian reclaimed his chair. I listened as Dagger introduced Guardian as Luis’ second dad, and explained he had two and one mother. I didn’t dare turn to watch them, for fear I’d be tempted to snatch my son. It had been so long since I’d held him.
I plated the tamales, putting only one on a plate for Luis, and four on Dagger’s plate. If Guardian was still as nervous as I was, then I doubted he was hungry right now, but I’d warmed enough he could have some if he wanted to. Taking the seat next to Dagger, I pushed his plate toward him. I cut a small bite from Luis’ tamale and offered it to my boy. He slowly leaned forward and accepted the food, his eyes lighting up as he chewed.
“There wasn’t much in the way of child-appropriate beverages and food on Casper’s jet. Luis nibbled on some pretzels and had a bottle of water, but that’s it. I don’t know how often they were fed,” Dagger said. “He’s probably starving.”
“I’m sure you are too,” I said.
He shrugged. “Been a while since I had a chance to eat, but Luis was more important. Now that he’s home, I know that I have two others helping me with him. Wolf came home with me, but he’s about as clueless as I am when it comes to kids.”
“What about Juan?” I asked.
Luis tensed when I said that name and his gaze darted around the room. Everything inside me screamed that asshole had somehow hurt my child, and I wanted him dead, but I didn’t have proof. Yes, he’d bought Luis, or at least money had exchanged hands for some reason, but I still didn’t know for what purpose, or know the woman’s connection to Juan.
Dagger tightened his hold on our son. “I’ll check with the club and see if they’ve heard anything, but I think tonight the four of us need to get acquainted and have a relaxing evening. We can show Luis his room. Maybe you can talk him into a bath and put one of his new outfits on him, show him whatever toys we have for him.”
I nodded, knowing he was right. As much as I worried about the threat that could be lurking in the shadows, I knew we needed to focus on Luis at least until tomorrow. Even then, my main concern needed to be Luis. I made sure he ate most of the tamale, and when he turned his face away for the next bite, I decided not to push. If he got hungry again, we had plenty of food for him.
“I’ll get a bath ready. Why don’t the two of you show Luis his room?” I suggested. As much as I wanted to see his face when he realized all that stuff was for him, I knew Guardian and Dagger needed some time with him too.
Dagger got up with Guardian following. I cleared the table, then went to run a bath for Luis. I added a little of the bubble bath we’d grabbed and the rubber duck. I hadn’t known what my son would like, so I was hoping someday soon I could take him shopping to select his own bath toys. And anything else we’d missed. It was quiet. Too much so. I peered into the hall and saw Guardian leaning against the doorway of Luis’ room, but his face was set into hard lines. Whatever was going on in there, it didn’t seem like a joyous moment.
“Bath is ready,” I said.
He pushed off and went into the room, and I heard him say something to Dagger. A moment later, they were both heading my way with Luis. Dagger set him down. If Guardian hadn’t been blocking the doorway, Luis may very well have bolted when I pulled his shirt off. The boy shrieked, his eyes wide in fear, and tears rolled down his cheeks. I looked at my men, not having any idea what to do.
Dagger murmured to him in Spanish. “You’re okay. No one here will hurt you. It’s just a bath, Luis. Then you can wear your new clothes.”
Luis sniffled, but gave a slight nod. I finished removing his clothes, and everything in me went still. It felt as if the temperature in the room dropped fifty degrees as I shared a look with Dagger and Guardian. It was clear Luis had been through hell. A number had been carved into his skin on his hip, and bruises covered his back.
“Find him,” I said. “And end him.”
Dagger held my gaze. “Won’t be pretty. Got my name for a reason.”
“He brutalized our son. I don’t care what you do to him, as long as he hurts and isn’t breathing when you’re done. A monster like that doesn’t deserve to live.”
“I’ll handle it,” Dagger promised. “I’m going to go speak with Grizzly and Slash. Guardian will remain here with you. Don’t leave the house. I’ll make sure all the doors and windows are locked before I take off. I don’t plan to be gone that long.”
I helped Luis into the tub and gently washed him. No matter how hard I tried to get him to play with the duck, he wouldn’t. My poor boy just sat in the tub, frozen like a statue. The thought of what he could have suffered tore me apart. I’d thought I left him with someone trustworthy, that he’d be safe. I’d been so horribly wrong, and my small son had paid the price.
Tears slipped down my cheeks, no matter how hard I fought to hold them in. Soon I was openly sobbing. I felt arms close around me and pull me back against a hard chest. Guardian’s scent washed over me.
“Easy, baby. You’re going to scare him even more. He doesn’t know why you’re crying,” he said.
“I-I know, but… this is all my fault. If I’d never left him…”
“You don’t know that,” Guardian said. “What if you’d stayed and Juan decided he wanted your son? He could have seen you anywhere. If you’d refused to sell your child, he’d have taken him, and possibly you as well. You could have ended up in a brothel or worse. You can’t tear yourself apart second-guessing your decision to come to this country.”
He was right. And I couldn’t undo the past. Whatever it took, I’d see Luis had a happy life from this moment forward. I knew Dagger and Guardian would protect him with their lives, and I could already tell they would love him. I hoped it was enough to undo whatever damage the culero, and the other cartel men, had done to my boy.
I pulled Luis from the tub and dried him off, then helped him into his new clothes. Guardian lifted him, and Luis went to him without issue. It made my heart hurt that my own son didn’t want me to hold him. After the way he’d reacted to Juan’s name, it was surprising to me he’d go to a man. For whatever reason, he trusted Dagger and now Guardian. While it was disappointing he wasn’t at ease with me, I was grateful he’d been willing to let his daddies hold him.
I followed them into the living room where Dagger was sprawled at the end of the couch. Either he’d never left, or he really hadn’t taken that long to speak to the others. Guardian sat next to him and Luis seemed content with both men nearby. I took the remaining spot. Luis watched me and I gave him a smile.
“I missed you,” I told him. “So very much. I never thought we’d be apart this long.”
Dagger cleared his throat and I turned my gaze toward him. “Spoke to Griz. The club will handle our little problem, or at least round him up. I’ll take it from there, but I told him tonight was family time. There is one thing. Dr. Larkin is going to stop by and make sure Luis is in good health. From what Wire could find, he’s not had any vaccinations and he’ll need quite a few. I don’t imagine he’ll enjoy the visit very much.”
Guardian leaned forward and grabbed the remote off the coffee table, then clicked on the TV. “Then I guess we’d better give him some happy memories first. Otherwise, he may hate us.”
He flipped through channels until he found an animated movie, then settled back with Luis still clinging to him. It didn’t take long before the TV caught our son’s attention. He eventually relaxed even more and cuddled between Guardian and Dagger. We watched two movies, then there was a knock at the door. I got up to answer, but Dagger beat me there, giving me a fierce glare.
“You were just going to open the door?” he asked.
“You were expecting someone.”
“Sí, but it could have just as easily been someone else. One man made it into the compound before. Who’s to say Juan won’t as well?”
He had a point. I nodded my understanding and let him answer the door. He welcomed the man on the doorstep, which meant it was probably the doctor. When the man stepped into the house, I saw he wore a white lab coat and carried a bag with him.
“You must be Zoe,” the man said, holding out his hand. “I’m Doctor Larkin.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” I said, giving his hand a quick shake.
“Luis hasn’t spoken more than a word or two, and he’s very reserved,” said Dagger. “Worse, he has a number carved into his body and bruising. I don’t know what all those bastards did to him.”
“He may associate my visit with unpleasantness. I’d hate for him to have those memories in a common area or even his new room. Is there somewhere else I could examine him?” Dr. Larkin asked.
“The guest room,” I suggested.
Dagger nodded. “Perfect.”
He got Guardian, and they carried Luis into the guest room with me and the doctor following. Dagger introduced our boy to the man in the white coat, explaining he was a doctor and what would happen. Luis fidgeted and tears rolled down his cheeks. Our son never screamed, and didn’t fight, but I could feel his fear. Guardian and Dagger wore tense expressions, not liking this any more than I did.
When the doctor said he needed to remove Luis’ clothes for the last part of the exam, I knew I needed to leave the room. I couldn’t take it another moment, and I was too scared of what he might discover. By the time the visit was over, and Luis was cradled in Dagger’s arms, my heart felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest. My neck hurt from the tension in my body.
“He took some blood to run some tests,” Guardian said as Dagger carried Luis into another room. “The exam wasn’t pleasant for any of us, but the doc saw no signs of sexual assault. I’ve never been more grateful for something in my life. If those assholes had done that to our sweet boy…”
He swallowed hard and I saw the fury in his eyes. I knew exactly how he felt. It was bad enough Luis had been harmed in any way, but at least he’d been spared in some way. I had a feeling what he’d seen or had done to him was bad enough to give Luis nightmares. Only time would tell.
“I’m going to contact Outlaw and give him the sequence of numbers on Luis’ hip and see if he or Wire can figure out what it means,” Guardian said. “Dagger suggested you start dinner, and we’ll all sit at the table for the meal. None of us thought to get a booster seat for Luis, so I’m going to have a Prospect run and pick one up.”
“I don’t even know what to make,” I said.
“Anything you want, baby. Hell, order pizza. Every kid loves that shit, right?”
I didn’t know about that, but I could easily order pizza. It would provide us with dinner, and I wouldn’t have to lose any time with Luis. While I would have preferred to provide my son a home-cooked meal his first night in the house, there would be plenty of other opportunities.
Provided Juan was captured and taken care of. Otherwise, our happy family could quickly unravel.
* * *
Jared
Watching Luis withdraw into himself during the exam had about gutted me, but it had been the look on Dagger’s face that hurt the most. I could tell something was going on, but I didn’t know what. It was possible he’d simply formed enough of a connection with the kid during the flight here that he felt our boy’s pain more than I did, but I had a feeling it wasn’t just that. I could only hope he’d open up at some point and let me in.
Even worse, I could see the fear and pain in Zoe’s eyes and I didn’t know how to help. I could hold her, tell her everything would be okay, but that wouldn’t be near enough. She felt like she’d done this to her son by leaving him behind, and nothing I said would ever change that. She’d have to come to terms with it on her own. As far as I was concerned, she’d done what she felt was right, and if she’d put her faith in someone trustworthy, then everything would have ended differently. Instead, she’d gotten suckered by a con man who only wanted nearly free labor, and didn’t care if her son ever made it out of Mexico or not. The small pittance he’d given her had gone back to Mexico for Luis.
If Ramirez hadn’t already handled that asshole, I’d be tempted to go after him. What he’d done to Zoe was unforgiveable. Because of his refusal to let Zoe bring her son with her, Luis had suffered, and now Zoe felt responsible for it all. I wanted to break the man in half, literally snap his bones, but I had a feeling he was already dead. Ramirez wouldn’t have removed the women, and wouldn’t be acting as if he were in charge, if his boss were still breathing. I’d have to hope the bastard suffered a great deal.
I listened to Zoe order dinner, but I kept an eye on her. She flitted around, her hands trembling a little. The slight quiver in her voice confirmed how anxious she was, either over Luis having been harmed, or the fact he didn’t seem too quick to go to her. I had to imagine it hurt like hell to have your own flesh and blood prefer someone else. As far as I was concerned, he was my son, as well as Zoe’s and Dagger’s. I didn’t have much experience with kids of any age, and none with someone as small as Luis, but I’d do what I could to show him he could trust me.
Without knowing exactly what he’d been through, it was hard to say how long it would take for him to recover. I didn’t know the first thing about helping a kid heal from emotional or physical trauma, especially one who wouldn’t talk. Whatever he needed, I’d see he got it. Even if it he only needed lots of cuddles.
Zoe finished placing the pizza order and set the phone down. Her shoulders slumped and I watched as she hung her head. I hated that she was beating herself up. Not knowing what else to do, I walked over and pulled her against my chest, wrapping my arms around her waist.
“He’s a strong kid, baby. He’ll be okay.” I kissed the top of her head. “He has you, me, and Dagger. Not to mention the rest of the club. We’ll make sure he has whatever he needs.”
“Doesn’t stop me from feeling like I failed him,” she said softly.
“You didn’t. No one can see the future, Zo. You did what you felt was right at the time, and if the man you’d trusted had been honorable, or the woman you’d thought was taking care of Luis, then all this might have turned out different. But playing the what-if game isn’t going to do anything but make you hurt more. We can’t change the past, baby, but we can make sure he has a safe and happy future.”
She sighed and leaned more of her weight against me. “I know you’re right, but I’m struggling. I promise I’ll get there. It hurts to know I couldn’t protect my son.”
“I know.” I hugged her tighter. “We’re here for you, and for Luis. Remember that. You aren’t in this alone, baby.”
She nodded, then turned in my arms and hugged me. I’d do whatever I could to keep our family happy. If that meant playing peacemaker sometimes, then I would. Right now, I’d lend my strength to Zoe so she could get through whatever we were about to face with Luis. No matter how strong she was, I knew she’d need help in the days to come. We all would, but none of us were alone anymore, and together I knew we could face anything.