“Shopping tomorrow? Absolutely. I’ll take an extended lunch break and we’ll power shop,” said Merilee’s older sister, Gloria, when Merilee called her. “It’s about time you started listening to me.”
“I’ve got the week off. I’m there,” said her little sister, Liz. “And right before Christmas, we are for sure going to find bargains. This is will be sooo much fun.”
Merilee wasn’t sure how much fun it would be staring at herself in the dressing room mirror. But it sure wasn’t fun living in the shadows. It was time to take a lesson from Zach’s grandma and start living life to the fullest.
Just remember you can’t afford to live too fully, she reminded herself. Not with her current job situation. Still, a few new clothes would be an investment in her future. She couldn’t live indefinitely on what she was making at the shelter. She’d need a new outfit for job hunting. And … other things.
She’d take a whopping fifty dollars out of savings and see what she could get with that. Probably not much, but you never knew. She could stumble on some fabulous holiday sales. ’Tis the season, after all.
Her sisters were already waiting at a table in the Angel Falls Mall food court, indulging in hot chocolate from Chocolate Heaven, when Merilee arrived. Gloria was tall and willowy, with long chestnut-colored hair and perfect features. She was wearing a crisply tailored white blouse with a black skirt that showed off her legs. She’d topped them with a red leather jacket accessorized with silver jewelry, proving that she deserved her nickname Glorious. Everything she wore demanded Pay attention to me, unlike Merilee’s wardrobe, which said Maybe you’d rather not look. Liz was just as big an attention grabber as Gloria. She was petite and blond—eye candy in a small package. She wore jeans coupled with a pale pink sweater, her winter jacket draped over a nearby chair. Gold bangles dangled from her wrist and the fat diamond in her engagement ring winked hello as Merilee walked over.
As often happened in the presence of her glamorous sisters, the Ghost of Ugly Past hovered over Merilee, whispering in her ear that she would never be as pretty as her siblings. Why are you bothering? it taunted.
Good question. Because she wanted to be better, to become more than what she’d been. On fifty dollars. Oh, boy.
At the sight of Merilee, Liz jumped up to hug her. “All right! She’s here. Let the games begin. Have you lost more weight? You look great.”
“Correction,” said Gloria, waiting her turn to hug Merilee. “She will look great when we’re done with her.”
Liz grinned and relinquished her hold on Merilee. “We’ve already been making a list of what you need.”
“Which is practically everything,” added Gloria.
Uneasiness crept over Merilee. She had a vision of her fifty dollars sprouting wings and flying away within the first five minutes of their shopping expedition. “I can’t go too crazy now that my paycheck has shrunk to next to nothing.”
Gloria linked an arm through hers and began to stroll her toward Macy’s. “Not to worry. We’ve got it covered.”
Merilee stopped. “What do you mean?”
Liz was on her other side now, moving her forward again, past a forest of artificial trees and giant candy canes. “We are taking care of your makeover. Merry Christmas from your sisters.”
“Oh, you guys, you can’t,” Merilee protested.
“Of course, we can,” said Gloria. “I made an obscene amount of money this year. I have to spend it on something.”
“Me, too,” said Liz. “Well, not as much as Glorious. No one makes as much as her.”
“So sue me for climbing the corporate ladder,” said Gloria with a shrug.
“You guys, I didn’t call to bum money off you,” Merilee insisted. “I’ve got money.”
Gloria cocked an eyebrow. “How much?”
Merilee raised her chin to its haughtiest level. “Fifty dollars.”
Liz let out a guffaw that made two women and a clerk turn and stare. “My God, how long has it been since you’ve been shopping?”
Merilee felt her cheeks burning. “Not that long.”
“Well, fifty will buy you a bra and some panties and that’s about it,” Gloria informed her.
“Panties are good,” said Liz, her eyes dancing. “A leopard thong, I’m thinkin’. Rrrrr,” she added with a giggle and gave Merilee’s arm a squeeze.
They were in the cosmetics department now. “I say we stop here first,” said Gloria. “If I have to spend the next two hours looking at that great face of yours neglected and naked I’ll wind up strangling myself with a scarf.”
“Oh, yeah,” agreed Liz. “Makeovers are so fun. I think I’ll get one, too.” She nudged Merilee. “We can pretend we’re on What Not to Wear.”
Liz, of course, didn’t need anything made over since she was already perfect, but she enjoyed playing with different shades of lipstick and adding comments as the makeup expert at the counter worked on transforming Merilee.
Transformation? That was an understatement. She was startled by the face in the mirror. Who was this woman with the arresting green eyes and full, coral-colored lips? She couldn’t possibly look that good, could she?
“You look incredible,” Gloria told her. To the clerk she said, “We’ll take one of each,” and whipped out her credit card.
“You just spent a fortune,” Merilee said weakly.
“What, you think you’re not worth it?” Gloria retorted.
Actually, that was exactly what she thought.
“I like giving to worthwhile causes,” Gloria said. “And you’re one of the worthiest causes I know,” she added with a smile. “Anyway, think of it as payback for the time I convinced you to eat mud when we were kids.”
“I remember hearing about that.” Liz made a face. “I can’t even imagine.”
“She told me it was fudge,” muttered Merilee. “You were such a bully.”
“Still am,” Gloria said, unrepentant. “And now that I can stand to look at you, let’s go bully you into a new wardrobe.
Bully they did. Merilee watched in amazement as her sisters cruised past racks of clothes, selecting tops, jackets, and pants with unerring eyes. “You have to get this sweater. It will look great with your red hair,” said Liz, stepping in front of a thirty-something woman and scooping a turquoise sweater off a sale rack.
The woman glared at Liz and Merilee felt her face heat. “I think she wanted that,” she whispered.
“It’s the holidays,” said Gloria. “The race is to the swift.”
There were certainly a lot of people out racing. The roads were slushy, but with Christmas only a few days away that wasn’t stopping anyone. The store was packed with shoppers, mostly women, of all sizes and ages, browsing beneath festive faux-cedar swags and giant wine-colored ornaments. All that body heat was keeping the store warm and the collective perfume smell made Merilee feel like she was trapped inside a giant scented candle.
She eyed the loads of clothes in her sisters’ arms and said, “I think we’ve got enough.”
“It’ll do for a start,” Gloria decided. “Come on. Let’s get you into a dressing room.”
“Oh, boy,” muttered Merilee.
“You just wait,” Liz told her. “You’re not going to believe how good you look.”
And she didn’t. “Oh, my gosh,” she said, as she took in the sight of herself in jeans and the turquoise sweater Liz had found. “I look—”
“Incredible,” Liz supplied, beaming. “Am I good or what?”
“I don’t know,” teased Gloria. “Let’s ask that poor schlub you suckered into proposing.”
“Go ahead. He’ll tell you he’s the luckiest man in the world,” Liz bragged, polishing her engagement ring on her sweater.
“Well, right now I feel like the luckiest woman in the world,” Merilee said, taking in her reflection. “I never thought I could look so … pretty.” The word felt foreign, difficult to pronounce.
Gloria gave her a hug. “We did.” She handed over a slinky black top with a plunging neckline.
“Oh, I don’t think—” Merilee began.
“That’s right. This time you don’t. Let us do the thinking for you.”
“Trust us,” said Liz. “If you want to light a fire under that fireman you told us about, this will do it.”
“Maybe,” Merilee said as she pulled off the sweater. She sure hoped she hadn’t imagined interest in his eyes when they stood at her door. Had it been been wishful thinking?
“That’s no way to talk,” scolded Liz. “You have to have a little confidence in yourself.”
She did. Very little.
“I think he’s already interested,” said Gloria, dropping the black top over Merilee’s head. “Cat whisperer, what a flimsy excuse to see a woman!”
“The cat really wasn’t eating,” said Merilee. Although he’d had no problem eating when she arrived.
“Trust me, this man is already on the edge,” said Gloria. “He just needs a little push.” She folded her arms and assessed the top and jeans. “This should do it.”
“I’ll say,” added Liz. “Add some hot shoes and you won’t need to push at all. He’ll jump right over.”
Merilee blinked to make sure she wasn’t seeing things. She wasn’t. The reflection of a pretty woman, now with some serious cleavage on display, gawked back at her.
“The boob fairy really blessed you, sis,” said Liz, draping a casual arm over Merilee’s shoulder. “And that great, new waistline sure shows ’em off.”
Gloria crowded in on the other side and smiled. “Are we gorgeous or what?”
Merilee smiled. Her, gorgeous. Who knew?
An hour later and she had more new clothes than she’d ever had at any one time in her entire life. She looked from sister to sister with glistening eyes. “You guys, how can I ever thank you?”
“By going after this man,” said Gloria.
“Don’t be a fraidy-cat,” added Liz. “Get out there and make something happen.”
“In every area of your life,” Gloria added, giving her a hug. “I meant what I said about having a pile of cash. I know you want to get back to school. If you need some money, it’s yours.”
“I think you’ve done enough,” Merilee said, still feeling more than a little guilty over how much her sisters had spent on her.
“If the flip-flop was on the other foot, you’d be there for her,” said Liz. “We’re family. Family sticks together. Anyway, once you get through vet school we can have free care for our pets for the rest of our lives.”
“If you ever get a pet,” Merilee retorted.
“If you won’t take it as a gift consider it a no-interest loan with no balloon payment,” said Gloria, putting the conversation back on track. “I’m totally serious here. Don’t give up on your dreams. Shoot for the moon, Mer.”
Shoot for the moon. Merilee drove away from the mall in a daze. What was holding her back, really? Only herself. And what did she have to lose by taking a few chances? Some pride, perhaps. But how much more pride would she gain if she started really taking on life, and love, aggressively?
Before going to work the next day she would download the sample application for the College of Veterinary Medicine at Washington State University. This time she was going to finish no matter what it took.
On her way home she stopped by Little Angels Toys and picked up a game of Clue. Then she went home and changed into her new jeans and the slinky black top.
“How do I look?” she asked Queenie, who was perched on the bed watching her.
Queenie blinked.
“I know, you can’t believe your eyes,” said Merilee. “But it’s really me. The new me.”
She left the bedroom and Queenie jumped off the bed and followed behind to supervise while she wrapped the Clue game for Zach. She took extra care with the bow, making a big, fluffy one out of red curling ribbon. “There,” she said at last, admiring her work. “That looks downright festive.” And tempting. Just like her, she decided with a smile.
She picked up the cat and gave her a kiss on the head. “Wish me luck.”
Queenie purred as if to say, “You go, girl.”
The streets were slushy and slick but it wasn’t the driving conditions that made Merilee’s heart race as she drove across town. Would Zach think she was pushy? Would he ask her in? If he did, what could she say? Maybe: “Open your present and let’s play.” That definitely was pushy. Okay then: “I thought of you when I saw this.” That sounded dorky. Well, she’d think of something, hopefully. She took a deep breath as she turned onto Lavender Lane, telling her heart to slow down.
A mechanical Santa waved a welcome as she drove past. She took it as a sign of encouragement.
But her heart started racing all over again when she pulled in behind Zach’s SUV and got out of her car. This was probably a dumb idea. He would think she was pushy. He’d tell her he had plans. He probably wouldn’t even let her in. Maybe she should go home, return the game to the toy store.
Maybe she shouldn’t be such a wimp. That would be a total waste of new clothes. She clutched her package and started for the house.
She was halfway to the door when she heard the shoosh of wheels on slushy pavement and turned to see a big truck driven by what looked like an equally big man pulling up to the curb.
Zach and this man obviously had plans and here she was descending like some man-hungry she-buzzard. This had been a stupid idea. She’d just leave the present on the porch and walk away, saying hello to this new arrival as she passed him. Yes, that was a good plan.
She propped the present on the door and started to leave.
The big man was coming up the walk now, carrying a Chihuahua clad in a Christmas red doggy sweater. “Hi there,” he said.
“Hi,” she said back. “I was just dropping off…” Bait. “Something.”
“Zach’s home. No need to run off.” The big man looked her up and down appreciatively, taking in her tight jeans and the stiletto heel black boots Liz had insisted she get. The mint green parka Gloria had picked out for her showed off her new and improved slim middle.
She felt awkward and pleased all at once. And uncomfortable. “It looks like maybe you and he have plans.”
“Nothin’ much. Come on.” He kept walking as if expecting her to turn around and follow him into the house. She would look really stupid if she kept running now, so she took a deep breath and turned around.
Zach met them at the door. “Hey, Merilee,” he greeted her. His voice was casual but his eyes were big. He looked her up and down and blinked. “Is that a new coat?”
It’s new everything, right down to my underwear. She clutched the collar of the green parka, pulling it tight around her throat. “I went shopping.” Wouldn’t her sisters have been impressed with that little bit of sparkling conversation? Ugh.
“You look good. Come on in. I guess you met Ray.”
“Just now,” Merilee said. “Hi, Ray.”
“Hi,” Ray said. He held up the little dog. “And this is Tacky.”
Kind of like her showing up unannounced with a board game and new undies.
“Short for Taquito. He’s my boy,” Ray said, giving Tacky’s head a pat with his big hand.
He set the dog down and it started trotting down the hallway. Halfway to the kitchen Tacky encountered Tom the cat. Tom arched his back, puffed out his fur, and hissed. Tacky yapped and took a step back. The cat let out another fierce hiss. That was all it took to send the Chihuahua running back to his owner.
“That cat of yours is a bully,” Ray said, picking up his dog as the cat marched into the living room.
Zach just laughed. To Merilee he said, “As you can see Tom is doing a lot better.”
“It looks like he’s made a full recovery,” she said, and then couldn’t think of anything else. So she thrust the package at him. “I just stopped by to drop this off.”
“Yeah?” Zach looked surprised.
Actually, he looked well beyond surprised. Can you say deer-in-the-headlights? She’d known it all along. She was being pushy. She could feel her cheeks warming. “I’d better get going.”
“No. Come on in,” he insisted, motioning in the direction of the living room.
She shook her head and started for the door. “You’ve got plans.”
“Not really,” said Ray. “We were just gonna hang and play some Halo.” He motioned to the present in Zach’s hand. “I told you that you needed a tree. Now you got no place to put your present.”
“So I’ll open it now,” Zach said and ripped off the ribbon and wrapping paper.
Merilee’s cheeks got hotter as the paper came off to reveal the Clue game.
“I haven’t played that since I was nine,” said Ray. “Forget Halo. Let’s play Clue. Take off your coat and stay awhile,” he said to Merilee.
She took off her coat and Zach’s mouth dropped, right along with the game. “Uh, nice outfit,” he managed as he bent to pick it up.
“Very nice,” agreed Ray, his gaze drifting toward her chest. “So, Merilee, you live somewhere around here?” he asked, leading her into the living room and leaving Zach to follow.
She smiled. Gloria had been so right about the clothes.
The next thing she knew, she was seated next to Ray on Zach’s leather couch with Zach sitting cross-legged on the floor opposite them, spreading out the board game on the coffee table. The guys each had a beer and she had the last can of Coke from the fridge. As for Tacky and the orange cat, they had settled into an uneasy truce, Tacky trembling in his owner’s lap and Tom posted as an aloof sentinel atop the back of a chair.
“Hey, man, start a fire,” suggested Ray. He grinned at Merilee. “Let’s get cozy.”
Zach frowned at his friend but he obliged, digging some kindling from an old bucket next to the fireplace. Another few minutes and a fire gently crackled in the fireplace while Mannheim Steamroller serenaded them courtesy of Zach’s iPod speakers.
Merilee stopped feeling pushy. Her heart even settled down to a normal pace. Except for when she’d sneak a peak at Zach. The mere sight of that strong jaw was enough to make it do cartwheels.
Forty minutes later, Ray announced, “Okay, I’m ready to make my final guess. Miss Scarlet did it in the billiard room with the candlestick.”
Did it. A picture of her and Zach falling onto a pool table in a fit of passion, sending balls flying in all directions, flashed into Merilee’s mind.
Zach scowled. “You rat bastard. I’d have had it next turn.” He pulled the correct cards from the little envelope and spread them out on the game board. “Did you know who did it?” he asked Merilee.
You and me on the billiard table. She willed herself not to blush. Get your mind off of the pool table, girl. “Of course,” she lied. She had no idea, really. It had been impossible to concentrate.
“Okay, we’re playing again,” Zach commanded, collecting the cards.
“I’ll still win,” Ray gloated. He shot an assessing glance Merilee’s direction. “So, what’s the story behind this anyway? Did Zach ask Santa for it for Christmas?”
No, I was just being pushy.
Zach answered before Merilee had to. “We got to talking about games we played when we were kids. I was bragging.”
“Ha! So you came over to whip his ass,” said Ray. “How’d you two meet, anyway? And when were you going to introduce me?” he demanded of Zach.
“Merilee’s the one who helped me with Tom.”
Ray pointed a finger at her. “You’re the cat whisperer. Awesome.”
Zach had talked about her? Merilee felt pleased.
“I was telling him how you got Tom to eat,” added Zach.
That was all? Well, it was a beginning, she supposed. She caught Zach doing a surreptitious scan of her curves. A very good beginning.
They played another game and this time Zach won. Merilee still couldn’t concentrate. Miss Scarlet was at it again, this time in the kitchen with a rope. Miss Scarlet was a busy girl. Merilee had never been busy. How depressing. It was definitely time to change that.
Except she wasn’t sure she was making much progress in the change department. Zach seemed to appreciate her new look, but the one doing all the flirting with her was Ray. So far he’d complimented her on her outfit, suggested they get together and play Risk, and had finished up by asking her if she could come over sometime and help him train Tacky.
“Train him to do what?” Zach demanded.
Ray shrugged. “I dunno. I’ll think of something,” he added, grinning at Merilee.
“Trust me,” said Zach in disgust. “You don’t want to go anywhere near this turkey.”
True. Not that Ray was a turkey. He seemed like a nice man. But the person Merilee wanted to get near was Zach. If only he was the one making the offer.
With the second game over she decided to go home. There wouldn’t be any doing anything tonight with Zach’s friend around anyway. Probably there wouldn’t have been any doing anything even if it were just the two of them. She sure hoped neither of her sisters asked how the new clothes were working out when she saw them at her parents’ on Christmas. Her wardrobe obviously wasn’t the problem.
Ray hovered while Zach helped her into her coat. When he offered to walk Merilee to her car, Zach said, “I’m on it.”
So maybe he wanted a minute alone with her? This was encouraging.
He shrugged into his parka and walked out the door with her. Suddenly she couldn’t think of a thing to say. “I hope I didn’t mess up your plans for the night,” she tried. Wow, sparkling conversation, Merilee.
“Nah,” said Zach. “I can play Halo anytime. This was nice.”
They were at her car now. She took her time getting out her car keys. Then she looked up at him and managed what she hoped was an encouraging smile. This would be the perfect time for a kiss.
Instead of kissing her, he simply said, “Thanks for the game. And for letting me win.”
“How’d you know?”
He chuckled. “And thanks again for helping me with Tom. I owe you.”
She didn’t want him to owe her. She wanted him to want her. Her sister Liz would have come right out and said that, but Merilee simply nodded. Still, her eyes couldn’t hide what she felt. If he looked into them, really looked, he’d see the longing in her heart.
He didn’t. He skimmed the surface and then shoved his hands in his jeans pockets. “Looks like it’s going to start snowing again. Think you’ll be okay getting home?”
If you kiss me I will. She nodded. And hoped.
He nodded, too, and took a step back.
She was almost overwhelmed by the urge to grab him by the coat and close the distance between them, but his body language told her that would be a mistake. Still, she couldn’t just give up and drive away. Not yet.
“You know, I think we need a Clue rematch,” she said. “If you’d like to bring the game over to my place I could order that pizza we never got.”
Zach’s smile froze. “Uh, Merilee.”
Oh, dear. She’d spooked him. “Or not,” she said quickly, her whole face suddenly burning.
“Merilee, I’m not looking to start a serious relationship. If I gave you that idea, I’m sorry.”
“Why is that?” she blurted. Oh, boy. What was she thinking? Her face had to be beet red by now. Her skin felt hot enough to ignite her whole head like a matchstick. She should have gotten into her car like a good little fraidy-cat and gotten out of there. “I mean…” What did she mean? Why don’t you want me? That was what she meant. And that was what she couldn’t come out and ask. He might just tell her, and both the clothes and the attitude adjustment were too new to stand up to a self-esteem assault.
“I don’t do well with commitment,” he said simply.
“Maybe you’ve never been in a relationship with the right woman,” she suggested, heart hammering. Why, oh, why couldn’t she leave this alone and drive away?
He shook his head. “Believe me. You don’t want a guy like me. My family’s screwed up big time. My mom left when I was a kid, my dad’s an alcoholic, and me, well, like I said, I just don’t do commitment.” The tears pooling in her eyes must have been too much for him because he cleared his throat and said, “Don’t get me wrong. If you ever need anything…”
What she needed he wasn’t willing to give. “I understand,” she lied. If I’d looked like your ex-girlfriend would you be making these excuses?
There was really nothing more to say, nothing more to do but get in her car and drive away. It was time to go home to her cat.