Chapter Twenty-Three

 

“Hey, Sandy! I was wondering when you’d get out here.” I tug on the dry tank top. It clings to my still-wet skin.

“I had to work. And I had to stay late because Stella is a lazy chain-smoking bitch.” She huffs.

“Wanna jump in? I’ll go with you.” I’m still struggling to get my tank top on.

“Nah, I’d rather grab a beer.” Sandy looks at the position of the sun. “The mountains are gonna swallow up the daylight soon anyways.”

We make our way to camp where Ki is working the grill and Carlos and some others are building a bonfire. I join the rest of the group, and we form a circle of chairs and blankets around the wood pile. Jerry sits in his chair watching the rest of us as we set the various bowls of sides on the table, and he asks what each bowl contains. The spread is quite impressive. Stef places the bowl of bean dip on the corner of the table. I smile at the huge crater where he’s scooped out a large portion to keep for himself.

We sit down with our plates of food and share stories as we stuff our faces. “Remember when you broke the sink in the bathroom at The Kone?” Terrence asks Mark.

Mark chokes on a large bite of hotdog. “Yes! Man, it was my first day. I thought I was gonna get fired!”

“You did get fired!” Terrence says through snorting laughter.

“Yeah, but not because of the sink. I still say that customer was not right.” He looks around for support. “The customer is not always right! That guy was such an asshole. He said he gave me a twenty, and I know for a fact it was a ten.”

“You got fired for that?” I ask with a mouth full of potato salad.

“No! He got fired for calling the guy an asshole!” Terrence spits out pieces of hotdog with his answer.

Tia walks over to Derek and takes the chair next to his. She whispers something into his ear. He looks at her, then over in my direction. I look to Stef quickly and pretend to be in deep conversation. I hope he didn’t notice me watching.

Sandy looks at me and shakes her head. “Hey, Jessie, wanna help me collect the trash and recycling?”

“Sure.” I stand and start with Stef and Ryan’s plates, then make my way around the circle we’ve created with our chairs and blankets. Jerry hands me his plate, but when I grasp it, he doesn’t let go.

“Wanna join me in my tent later?” He licks his lips, still holding his plate.

“I’d rather jump in the bonfire … later.” I roll my eyes and move on, leaving him with his trash.

I tie the garbage bag and meet Sandy at the back of her truck. “Here ya go.” I hand her the few aluminum cans I collected.

“Thanks. I had to get up and away from them girls. I swear! Tia is whispering at Derek, and Jodi is creeping on Tony who has a girlfriend in Reno. Makes me wonder what they do when I’m not around.” She starts crushing the cans between her hands and tossing them into her truck.

“I’m pretty sure they’re afraid to get on your bad side. I know I am!” I point to the crumpled can she’s holding.

Mark lights the bonfire, which sends flames high into the air. The bright blue sky is morphing into swirls of deep purple and soft pinks. Music plays while smaller groups form with different topics of discussion.

“No. You’ve got it wrong. UNR has had the cannon more than UNLV. Look it up, dude!” Jason is arguing with Tony. “Tell him, Ryan.”

Ryan is busy talking to Stef about Belize, so he just gives a nod and continues his conversation.

Tia and Jodi clumsily dance in the sand, unaware of how ridiculous they look. Jerry is the only one enjoying the show and will probably have both of them in his tent later.

I crawl into the tent to get a jacket when I hear yelling. I come out to see two bodies rolling in the sand but can’t make out who they are. “What’s going on?” I ask Sandy who is sitting on Terrence’s lap.

“Oh, Carlos and Jerry started wrestling and now neither one will give up. I had to yell at them to roll away from the damn bonfire. Morons.” Sandy finishes her beer and gets up for another.

“I’ll get it for ya,” I offer.

“Thanks!” She hands me the empty can.

I steer clear of the idiots in the sand as I make my way to the cooler. Derek follows behind me. “Do you want one?” I ask as I reach into the cooler.

“No. I have to help my dad tomorrow. Thanks, though. I was wondering if we can talk later.” His smile is even adorable in the firelight.

“Sure.” I smile as I wonder what he wants to talk about. “I better get this to Sandy.”

The wrestling match is over when I return and both guys are laughing and high fiving. They really are morons.

“You’re the best!” Sandy takes the beer, pops the top, and takes a large gulp.

I join Stef by the bonfire and tell him about Derek asking if we can talk. “What do you think he wants?”

“Maybe he wants an apology for throat-punching him.” Stef laughs.

“It wasn’t a throat-punch,” I correct him.

Slowly, people start saying good–night and making their way into their tents. A few stay by the fire. I get up, fold my chair to follow the guys to our tent, and look over towards Derek. He gives me a nod to join him.

“I’m gonna go talk to Derek,” I tell Stef, handing him my chair.

“See you in the morning,” Stef says with a wink.

I walk to Derek, and as we get to his tent, Jerry whistles. “Hold on, let me grab my camera!” He leans over a little too far and sends his chair toppling over into the sand.

“What a jerk.” I huff.

Derek just takes my hand and unzips his tent. “Don’t worry about him. He’s an idiot.”

“So, what’s up?” I ask with a little shake to my voice.

He doesn’t say a word but sits down in front of me. The bonfire has died down but it still gives a little glow so I can see his face. After a couple of attempts at finding the right words, he takes a deep breath and sits in silence.

I lean forward to kiss him softly on the mouth. His arms wrap around me and guide me to the sleeping bag where we lay facing each other. He holds onto my hand as he struggles to find the right words.

“I want you,” he begins in a soft whisper. “I don’t mean I want to have sex with you here and now. I mean, I do, but that’s not…”

“I’m really sorry I punched you.” I spit the apology to fill the awkward silences in between his sputtering of broken sentences.

Derek seems to give up on finding his words and kisses me. We lie there tangled together and make up for all the weeks of us not kissing. We only stop when we need to catch our breath. It’s been so long since my hands have wandered over his body. It’s almost new again.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” Derek lies on his back with his arm under my neck.

“I’m so glad Lisa isn’t here.” I’m not even sure why I am thinking of her.

“Why would you say that?” He shoots straight up and yanks his arm from beneath my head.

“I just meant it’s been nice not having her trying to ruin every minute we have together,” I try to explain.

“She’s not doing anything! She has no control over what we have together.” His voice is getting loud, and I hope the music outside is louder.

“Why do you stick up for her?” Now my voice is growing in anger. “Maybe because you still hope she comes back to you?”

His hands grip my arms, and he speaks through gritted teeth. “That’s not going to happen.”

“How do you know that?” I pull away and fold my arms, protecting myself from the angry sound of his voice.

“You know what? I can have any girl out there I want. I’m not saying that to be a jerk, either.” He wraps his arms over his knees. “But I don’t want any one of them!”

“That’s easy to say when Lisa’s not around.”

“I told you, that’s not going to happen!” His hands are in his hair in frustration.

“How do you know that?” I ask again.

“Because … I…” He takes in a deep breath but doesn’t continue. “It shouldn’t be this hard.”

“You know what? Maybe you should be with one of those other girls.” I storm out of his tent with tears streaming down my face.

When I crawl into our tent, I’m relieved to find Ryan and Stef are asleep. I don’t feel like talking. I climb into my sleeping bag and close my eyes thinking of all the different ways I could’ve handled that.

I’m debating whether or not to go back to him and apologize for being an insecure crazy person when I hear his truck start and listen as it fades away as he turns on to the highway heading back to town.

“What’s all that about?” Ryan whispers in the dark.

“He can’t handle the truth, I guess,” I say, trying to convince myself.

“I’m so glad I’m not into girls,” he says after a few minutes of silence.

“What do you mean by that?” I ask, a little offended.

“Your brains work differently, I think. Like, if Stef says he loves me and wants to be with me … I just believe him. You expect Derek to prove it,” he explains.

I reply without thinking, “It’d be a different story if Dylan was around.” Saying his name must reach Stef’s ears and pull him from sleep because he stirs in his sleeping bag without waking.

“Ouch,” Ryan says after making sure Stef is still asleep. “I guess you’re right.”

“I’m sorry. But you don’t know everything Lisa’s done to me.”

“Maybe not, but I do know Derek is into you. It’s so obvious.”

I don’t say a word as I turn my back to him and focus on the sound of the waves hitting the beach.

****

“Stef. Wake up.” I nudge him as soon as I open my eyes. “Ryan.” I try waking him next without success.

Frustrated and wanting to go home, I crawl out of the tent and am relieved when I see Sandy walking to her truck. She sees me hurrying over to her. “You want a lift? I have to get to work.” She’s holding her head and squinting, likely begging her brain to stop bouncing off her skull.

I hop in and buckle up, then dig my phone out of my bag to send Stef a text explaining to him where I am. “Thanks a bunch. I couldn’t get the guys to wake up.”

“They’ll be out until noon, I bet.” Sandy puts her truck in drive and begins the trip home. “I would be, if I didn’t have to pay for college. I hope Stella didn’t call in sick again, although she doesn’t do much work when she does show up.”

I look out the window watching the desert fly by in a blur while listening to Sandy sing along to the radio. She has a beautiful voice. “You should try out for The Voice.”

“Aww, thanks. I was actually thinking about it. They’ll be in Vegas this summer.” Sandy continues to sing, this time louder.

“Thanks again. See you at school tomorrow.” I wave and reach for my keys.

I open the front door dragging my bag behind me. Sissy meows like a wild cat following me into the kitchen like I’ve been gone for months and not one day. “Come here, little girl.” I reach for her treats and turn to see a strange man standing in front of me. “Holy shit!” I drop the treats and back up to the door.

“It’s me, JJ. It’s me!” My dad says with a mixed look of fear and entertainment.

“Oh my gosh, Dad! You scared the crap out of me!” I walk towards him and his freshly shaved face. “Where’d the beard go?”

“I thought it was time. Does it look bad?” He appears a bit wounded and rubs his smooth jaw.

Nervous laughter bursts from my chest as I wrap my arms around him and squeeze tightly. “You look like you again!” Tears flood my eyes.

My dad holds me for a few moments before taking a step back. “Why are you home so early? I wasn’t expecting you back until tonight.”

“Oh, I don’t want to bore you. Long story short, I pretty much told Derek to hit the road or he told me … either way, it’s over.” I shake my head like it’ll erase what happened.

“I was on my way out, but I can stay if you want to talk about it.” He glances at the clock on the wall.

“I’m okay. Where’re you going?” I place slices of bread in the toaster.

“There’s a hiccup at the hardware store. Some old wiring is not up to code. It’s common to find this kind of thing, but I have to meet Mr. Freeley there at eight.” He looks at his watch. “I’ve got enough time for a cup.”

This puts a smile on my face and pep in my step as I make us some coffee. I love that he still knows when I need him. He sips from his mug while listening to me yammer about Lisa.

“Do you know how special you are, JJ?” He sets his hot drink on the kitchen table and continues without my answer. “You have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever known. You lost your mother at such a young age, and rather than break down, you held us both up. You put your best friend’s feeling ahead of yours. You put yourself behind everyone else. I think it’s time you stop doing that.”

“That’s good advice, Dad. I’ll work on that.” I give his hand a squeeze.

“Things will work out, JJ. You’ll see.”

“I’m gonna shower and get my laundry done for the week. I love you.” I give him a kiss on the cheek. “It’s gonna take a bit to get used to your face!”

He laughs as he sets his empty mug in the sink. “I love you, too.”

Sissy follows behind me still upset about having to sleep alone. I gather my clothes fighting the urge to crawl into bed and step into a hot shower. I get dried off and dressed when my phone beeps.

Stef: You okay?

Jessie: Yep. Sorry I left without helping you pack up this morning. :(

Stef: No worries. We’re about to go for one last ride. Just wanted to check on ya. <3