Writing is often a solitary activity, but luckily for me, I had several people come along the journey of turning this story into a published book with me. Despite me being a writer, I frequently struggle to articulate my emotions, so bear with me as I thank everyone who has had an influence on me and this book.
Thank you to my lovely agent, Emily Forney, for believing in this book and me. You helped make one of my biggest dreams come true, and I feel so honored to call you my champion. I know my stories are safe with you, and I truly feel so lucky to be privy to your genius that makes my stories stronger.
Thank you to my editors, Wendy McClure and Natasha Qureshi, for seeing something in this book and taking a chance on me. I still smile when I think about how Tash read this whole book in one sitting and the first calls I had with you both to discuss this book and its potential. This book has transformed into something beautiful because of your incredible editorial visions and I’m excited to do something even better with book two! Thank you also to the rest of my Sourcebooks Fire team for working so hard to bring this book into the world: Thea Voutiritsas, Jessica Thelander, Jenny Lopez, Michelle Lecumberry, Karen Masnica, Nicole Hower, Delaney Heisterkamp.
Thank you to Margeaux Weston, Breanna McDaniel, and the We Need Diverse Books Black Creatives Revision Workshop. This program and Margeaux’s mentorship gave me such valuable insight into the publishing industry and took this book to the next level in preparation for the query trenches.
Thank you Dr. Jen Ferguson and Dr. Julia Lee, my incredible professors and mentors. It was in Dr. Lee’s Black Women Writers class (and all her classes, really) where so many of my ideas for this book were born and conversations with Jen that completely rearranged my brain chemistry. You both encourage me and inspire me endlessly. Dr. Lee, you nominated me and mentored me for a fellowship that allowed me to prioritize my writing. Jen, you were the one who convinced me to query and offered invaluable advice throughout the whole publishing process. I can confidently say this book might not exist without either of you, so I owe you everything.
To my best friends who have been there from the very beginning, ever since we stumbled across each other in various ways on the internet, I adore you. Cath, you were one of the first people I told about this book idea and one of the first to read it. The way your mind works needs to be studied (because you’re a genius). I don’t think there’s anyone who believes in me more than you. You somehow always know how I’m feeling even when I’m a literal rock, and I’m so grateful to call you my best friend every day. Cassidy, you are one of the hardest workers I know, and I’m endlessly inspired by you. I appreciate how you’re always one of the first people to offer to read my books, even when you’re extremely busy. From the days when we were commenting on each other’s BookTube videos to us traveling various countries, it makes me emotional thinking about how far we’ve come! I cannot wait to see more of the world with you. Alexandra, this book was born from a voice message conversation with you in the middle of our demon thread. Even thousands of miles apart, we have some unexplained connection, and it’s wild to think that we’ve gone from talking about our current reads in Twitter messages to you reading the very first draft of this book (and most of my books) and believing in it so wholly. Thank you for reading eagerly and always being there for me. Spencer, if I had a dollar for every time you lifted me up whenever I was doubting myself, I wouldn’t even need to worry about selling my books. I look forward to talking to you every day, whether it’s about Beyoncé, food, or horror movies. Thank you for talking me down from so many ledges (especially when I’m panicking about my career). You’re my hilarious voice of reason, and I’m so happy to have you in my life. Night, you’re like my literary partner in crime, always the first to ask about me sending you my book before the ink of the first draft has even DRIED. I appreciate your thoughtful notes and ideas and unhinged, yet funny comments every single time. Nova, I swear you were Layla and Elise’s biggest fan before you even read this book. I’ve never felt so lucky to know someone who willingly spends so much time and effort making art and loving my words. You’ve been there since DAY ONE. Brittany, you were one of my first friends on the internet, and you remain one of my oldest writing buddies. From ranting about the publishing industry and the writing process to sharing new ideas with each other, I’m so proud to call you my oldest writing friend. I can’t wait to do another 10k word day with you. Thank you all for being my biggest supporters, my first critique partners, and for making me laugh and curbing my overthinking when I fell into misery. I cannot wait until all of our books are on shelves together.
Thank you also to Cooper for listening to me ramble on about my writer dreams and my very first book ideas. I still remember you keeping me company while I wrote or filmed a writing update video, and you being absolutely astounded that I won NaNoWriMo in less than two weeks. You carrying around a hard copy of my first book in a paper bag and having a personal vendetta against one of my main characters at the time remains one of the highlights of our friendship and my writing career. Thank you for always cheering me on. Thank you also to June, who is my ride-or-die, my best friend since day one. My life (and this book) would not be the same without you. You’ve shaped me as a person and the writer I am today. Thank you also to Erica for bearing with me whenever I stayed out late on the couch in our living room during sophomore year and for driving us to get midnight snacks and just overall being one of my biggest supporters during my struggle years (college).
Thank you to Ms. Powell, Mrs. Bond, and Dr. Bradley for your incredible feedback on my creative work in class. I still remember your kind comments encouraging me to pursue writing professionally after reading my work. It’s those comments that I always think of whenever I hit a rough patch, and they’ve motivated me for over a decade now. Thank you also to Ms. Anthony for teaching me (and helping me teach everyone) the importance of details while writing. I was an incredibly shy child, so it was mortifying when you came up to me on the playground and told me I’d have to stand up in the middle of class and shout, “DETAILS, DETAILS, DETAILS,” whenever you spoke the word in class, but I do think it ended up helping me, so I appreciate it (also it gave me a funny memory to look back on).
Mom, Dad, Josh, and Jordy, this all started with you. From the time before I even learned to read when we would all sit in bed together and tell each other stories to write in our family journal, to you all just accepting that I would be a writer, constantly up late at night and asking for updates on my book. Even if I don’t show it, I appreciate your interest (and concern). Whether it’s reminding me to eat earlier than midnight or offering to be my agents (both literary and film) and editors, your input never goes unnoticed to me. I’m grateful every day that you are my family. Darcy, I know you’re not with us anymore, but you were witness to most of my late-night writing sessions. You kept me company, whether it was curled up on my feet under my desk or next to me in bed. I cherish those memories and miss you so much. Thank you for sending new companions, Luna and Daisy, to keep me company while you’re away.
Last, but certainly not least, to my readers, thank you, thank you, thank you for being here and picking up this book. Whether you’ve been here since my BookTube days, where I shared my journey of writing my first book, or since deciding to read this book, I adore you. Because of you, I’ve always felt like I could get to this point, where I have a book to share with the world. So, thank you, reader, for choosing this book.