#11: Physical Improvement

“Our growing softness,
our increasing lack of physical activity,
is a menace to our security.”
—John F. Kennedy

I’m sorry but this chapter needs to be in this book. I happen to be a Beachbody coach so I have seen many girls’ and guys’ transformations, as well as my own. And not just in bodies—in confidence!

The power of working out and eating healthy cannot be discounted!

In this book, I am ultimately talking about confidence - where and how to get it. I know very few people who actually enjoy the process of getting in shape, but the results cannot be denied. I can’t stand working out, but after the workout, I’m in a state of bliss. You know the feeling. You did yoga for an hour or you rode the bike and lifted weights. When you’re done, you feel great! These are your endorphins screaming with pleasure!

You are going to use this to kick start your new life! You are going to use working out as your first step to greatness and becoming a higher value woman. You are going to use physical improvement to stay busy. It will be your first new hobby and potentially create new social circles!

Whether you’re talking about an entire nation or an individual, the quote at the beginning of this chapter is true. Your physical conditioning directly correlates to your level of confidence. This is a sore subject for many women, no pun intended. It’s no secret, the physical appearance of a person helps determine their level of attractiveness. Yet, somehow this obvious reality is often swept aside. Part of the reason is there are women in great physical shape who are horrible at getting men. Likewise, there are overweight women who manage to meet quality men effortlessly.

If your fitness is so important, how can this possibly be? The answer is simple. Fit women who lack the confidence and skills to effectively sell themselves to men will fail eventually. Out of shape women who have a strong sense of confidence and self-esteem, along with a good grasp on what they want in a man, will often manage to overcome their physical flaws.

None of this matters to you though, because if you’re reading this, you need help in one of the two areas. Either you happen to be in good shape and need help meeting men or you’re in bad shape and you need help meeting men. I guess, in a sense, if you’re already physically fit you have a bit of a leg up moving forward. This is good because you need all the help you can get on your journey to success.

If you’re like most women, and especially if you’re a bit older, you’re likely not in very good shape. It’s normal and it’s okay. Many people weren’t taught proper body maintenance growing up. Alternatively, maybe you were naturally healthy when you were younger but didn’t have the skills to combat Father Time. Others may have been fit before, but have since let themselves go.

The road to weight problems is fraught with excuses. No time. No money. No need. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. The last one has already been covered here and you know you need this! The time excuse is particularly bogus. You don’t need to spend hours in the gym every day to see dramatic results. As you travel on the path to physical wellness, you may decide to make a choice to do that, but you’re nowhere near there right now. It’s not advisable to start off pushing too hard anyway.

It is perfectly sufficient to spend a half an hour a day, five days a week, walking or jogging. Then, add two to three days a week doing some sort of resistance workout as you’d do at the gym. Ultimately, I’m talking about maybe five hours a week. The bonus is by improving your physical strength and physical condition, you are more effective in life and you have more confidence. You have more energy, you work better, you play better and you feel better. This puts time back in your favor. If it takes you less time to do things in life, and if you’re enjoying your life more, you actually gain time in the equation.

The money excuse is just as insidious. A membership to the gym is maybe thirty dollars a month, on average. It comes out to just over seven dollars a week, or a dollar a day! Now, factor in the foods you eat and how much. By improving your diet and eating less food, you’ll be able to easily make up for the gym membership many times over. In fact, you’ll have plenty of extra funds just by changing how you eat. This can help finance new hairstyles, makeup and, of course, new clothes.

I can hear you coming up with more excuses, but hear me now—in order to improve yourself physically, you need to become a master of focus and determination. In other words, what’s been holding you back is mostly mental. This starts first by accepting your age and your current physical condition. It’s okay—you’re not eighteen anymore. Start where you are and work from there. Stop defeating yourself right out of the gate. Take small, gradual steps.

If you are eighteen, it’s just as important. Working out is not just about looking good to the other sex. It’s psychological. When you work out, you are busy and you feel good about yourself. Endorphins are being released! Simply put, there is no better way to start getting your confidence back than starting to get in shape.

Commit yourself to consistency, which isn’t the same as perfection. In order to accomplish physical improvement, it’s much more important to approach this on a consistent and regular basis rather than to pack in power workouts. This will also help prevent injuries and keep you in the game. Start small and add intensity one week at a time. Create a fitness-friendly environment and eliminate as much stress from your life as possible. Make sure to get a good night’s sleep every night to allow your body and mind to rest and recover.

Pick an activity, or group of activities, you enjoy which involves thirty minutes of cardio. This can be as simple as walking or hiking a nearby trail. In fact, walking is one of the best low-impact activities you can do. It’s also been scientifically proven—a brisk walk is as close to our experience as an infant walking on all fours as we can get. This is important because walking naturally aligns yourself to your Self. It’s a great way to remind your body who and what you are. If you add in a natural environment, like a mountain hike or a local park, you’re also communing with nature and it’s good for your mind, body and soul.

Yes, there is a spiritual side to working out with nature which will help you, whether you believe in this or not. Try it.

Other activities you can try include swimming, biking, playing sports, or anything which gets your heart racing for a consistent period of time, just don’t overdo it, which will expose you to injuries which could hamper your goals. It also may discourage you because you feel like the next workout is going to be too much.

Next, hit the gym. The big advantage of the gym is all the equipment and the ability to pack in a full body workout in a short period of time. Most memberships include a free evaluation with a trainer, so take advantage of it. A trainer will help you set a program which fits you and allows you to focus and track your results. You can look to online resources, books, magazines, anything to improve your knowledge on training.

Personally, I like doing P90X, Insanity and T25 workouts. I respond well to someone yelling at me on a video. If you are going to get in shape, why not go all in? What you choose to do is up to you, but it works for me and tens of thousands of others.

Regardless of how, make sure to develop a complete strength regimen which includes all the basic muscle groups. Work on your biceps, triceps, chest and back. Pay special attention to your abs. Not only is this immensely sexy to the men (a tight stomach), but your core emits your central energy. By strengthening your core, you are toning your entire body. Don’t worry, ladies, you will not grow big muscles. Just keep the weight light and the reps high…and stay off the steroids.

As you begin burning calories and building lean muscle, it is vital to pay attention to, and alter, your food intake. Much of what you’re probably consuming isn’t even classified as food. Ditch all liquid calories right away. The sodas, the sugar in your coffee, anything which does not directly nourish your body needs to go. These are empty calories. Beer is too, so keep an eye on it.

Substitute in lots of vegetables, some fruits and whole grains. You want to be eating real food—food which is supplying your body with what it needs to stay healthy. The great thing about vegetables is the variety and the fact that they have almost zero calories. You can prepare them in an infinite number of ways and combine them with all types of dishes. The vitamins and minerals they release also helps improve your mental functioning and the overall chemistry of your body, which allows you to get fit faster.

While we’re on the subject of vegetables, choosing is all about color. You want to include all the different colors available. If you look at your salad or stir-fry and it looks like an artist’s palette, you’re on the right track.

You want to eat fruits more sparingly. While they are good for you, and completely necessary, they are also high in sugar. To help balance this out, try and combine fruits with a healthy fatty food, like a slice of cheese or nuts. Fats burn slowest in your body, while sugars and carbs burn the fastest, so they balance each other. Proteins land somewhere in between. For this reason, you want to build a balanced diet of lean proteins, healthy fats and simple carbs. This creates the alchemy of change your body is craving.

Luckily, there is a vast amount of literature on the subject. Make yourself an expert and avoid fad diets or obscure recommendations. All you really have to do is exercise, eat a healthy balanced diet and you’ll see amazing results. You don’t need the latest workout machine or some restricted diet. Use common sense.

Once you’ve got your exercise and food situation on track, focus on other elements of your physical appearance. Make sure you find a hair stylist you like. You don’t need to spend a lot of money, but, like clothes, it is worth investing enough to get quality as the investment will pay off, in spades. Find someone you’re comfortable with who you can afford and stick with them. I’ve found that, over time, working with the same stylist pays dividends, as they get to know you and your hair and can help you evolve over time.

Don’t forget your smile, or lack of one, has an affect too. Studies show that girls who don’t smile much tend to hook up with men for short-term matches, while smiling girls attract long-term relationships. This obviously isn’t a black and white thing, but be aware of the impressions and facial expressions you’re using.

Your body is truly your temple. It’s your sanctuary, and in a very real sense, it helps provide your inner security and confidence. When you’re in shape, you’re ready to handle life on a higher level. You feel better about yourself mentally, and you just feel better, period. Take care of your body and it will take care of you. There is simply no excuse for not looking good.

It’s time for you to use this to kick start your new life. Use working out as your first step to greatness and becoming a higher value person. Use physical improvement to keep busy, be your first new hobby and potentially create new social circles!

OVERVIEW