19

The beep of the phone sent me scrambling across the room. I grabbed it and held it tightly to my chest, hoping the sound wouldn’t wake Zac. It had taken me two hours to get him to sleep. I crept from his bedroom and closed the door behind me.

JAKE: Hey r u awake?

LORI: Hey. I’m awake

JAKE: You left the party suddenly. Everything okay?

I scrunched my face up when I read his message, twice. I couldn’t believe he’d even noticed.

LORI: Zac had a meltdown when he realized I wasn’t home. My mom was struggling to calm him

JAKE: Is he okay now?

LORI: He’s asleep, so yeah

JAKE: When Lisa can’t sleep I sometimes download ASMR videos. She really likes them

LORI: Like those Russian women who whisper strangely at you?

JAKE: She really likes the one where they rub slime over the microphone for an hour

LORI: Ha-hah! How is that supposed to be relaxing?

JAKE: IDK, I once watched a guy pop Bubble Wrap for an hour

LORI:

LORI: How’s the party?

JAKE: I left. It was getting a bit hectic

LORI: Won’t they notice if the guest of honor isn’t there?

JAKE: Nah, they’re too drunk

LORI: They were drunk when I arrived, can’t imagine what they’re like now

JAKE: They’d started doing body shots

LORI: Not your thing?

JAKE: Not really

LORI: Cos you don’t drink?

JAKE: Oh . . .

JAKE: You noticed that?

LORI: I don’t think anyone else did, tho

There was a pause in the conversation and I walked down to the kitchen as I waited for his response.

JAKE: You know how I told you my dad is a recovering alcoholic?

LORI: Yeah?

JAKE: Well, they say that stuff can be genetic, so I don’t really do it

LORI: Smart!

JAKE: My dad took me to a meeting once, and when I heard some of the stories, I thought it was better not to

LORI: Like what?

JAKE: This one guy went to the bottle store and left his kids in the car for hours because he got drunk and forgot where he parked. The baby almost died

LORI: That’s crazy!

JAKE: Yup!

JAKE: You’re the first person who noticed I don’t drink

LORI: Seriously, no one else knows?

JAKE: I guess they’re all too self-involved to notice

JAKE: Or maybe they’re not watching me closely enough

I coughed a little as the carbonated bubbles of the Coke Zero I’d just opened got stuck in my throat. I hoped he didn’t think I was watching him closely now.

JAKE: Wanna do a playdate this weekend? Lisa has been begging me all week to play with Zac. He’s her new favorite person. I think she has her first crush!

I almost dropped my Coke on the floor as a voice in my head screamed at me. Perhaps Lisa isn’t the only one who has a crush. Shut up, I imaginary screamed back at the voice.

LORI: Sure. What do you have in mind?

JAKE: I assume that malls and theme parks are out?

LORI: Totally! Zac can’t handle places like that. Too much stimuli. He’ll have a meltdown and then you’ll have to drag him out which makes you feel guilty and look like a child abuser

JAKE: Been there, done that . . .

I smiled at this. It was so nice to talk to someone who got this stuff.

LORI: So if not theme parks and malls, then where?

JAKE: Let me think about it. But what about tomorrow at 2?

LORI: That’s cool

JAKE: Okay. I’ll message you in the morning with an idea

LORI: Cool

JAKE: Cool

JAKE: P.S. . . . sorry about the snake

LORI: ?

JAKE: Well, I’ve been thinking . . .

JAKE: It wasn’t very chivalrous of me. Jumping up on a chair like that while it was at your feet

LORI: LOL

LORI: Plus, you screamed like a girl

JAKE: SMH

JAKE: Next time we’re in a potentially deadly situation, I promise I’ll protect you!

The flutter. It was back. It was huge now! And it filled my stomach.

LORI: What kind of deadly situation would we find ourselves in?

JAKE: IDK, a few months ago a gorilla escaped from the zoo here

LORI: You’d protect me from an escaped gorilla?

JAKE: Sure! Why not

LORI: Ok. Question. Would you rather be bitten by a snake, or a gorilla?

JAKE:

LORI: This is a serious question, Jake

JAKE: Ok. Snake. There is antivenom

JAKE: Besides, a gorilla would probably take my whole arm off

LORI: So true

JAKE: This is officially the weirdest conversation I think I’ve ever had

LORI: LOL

LORI: Me too

There was another pause and my heart raced and pounded and bashed about in my chest as if it could not be controlled.

JAKE: Night Lori!

LORI: Night, Jake

I walked back up the stairs with the biggest smile on my face and was about to go to my bedroom when I heard a small, muffled sound coming from my mom’s room. I peered through the open crack in her door and saw her lying in the middle of the bed with her back to the door. Her shoulders were shaking as if she was crying. Crumped tissues lay strewn on the bed and in the middle of it all was a big book titled Step into Your Personal Power. My smile faded instantly, and I quietly pulled her door shut.