Coming Home

Dawn placed the floral order and we decided we were hungry again. It was phenomenal how no matter what we ate, we were still hungry, and no matter what or how much we drank, we remained sober.

Collette was surprisingly quiet and withdrawn. As much as she worked my nerves, I didn’t like to see her this way. “Hey, you. You okay?”

“What do you care?”

“You know it’s not like that. We have very different opinions about so many things. But I do love you. I sure hope you know that. When you’re not giving one of us a hard time, I get worried.”

“Whatever.”

Before I could respond, a clatter from the foyer caught our attention. Estelle arrived carrying several bags. On her heels came Jamaica, dressed in burgundy pants, silk shirt, and matching patent-leather shoes. His silky shoulder-length hair bounced with every step, and his nails were flawlessly French-manicured. Only a true diva looked so good this early in the day. Jamaica!

“Oh Sissy, I’m so sorry!” Jamaica ran into my arms and began crying.

“Jimmy, I’m so glad to see you. You’re so kind to fly in from Paris.”

“Kind? Your daddy was the man. He was enough man in himself that me being me didn’t bother him. I could tell you stories of so many times I came to him crying because I couldn’t go to my own father. So please don’t insult me by thanking me for doing what has to be done.”

“Nonetheless, I’m so glad to see you. Let me look at you. You look stunning. I wish I rolled out of bed looking like this.”

“I know that’s right,” Renee added.

“Renee, sis, how are you?” Jamaica hugged Renee long and tight.

“I’m better now that you’re here. I agree with Glynda, you look marvelous, darling!”

“Oh brother,” Collette whispered with a deep, overexaggerated sigh.

“Collette,” Jamaica said, nodding politely. “It’s good to see you, too.”

Collette refused to acknowledge Jamaica’s greeting. Pulling another cigarette from her pocket, she again headed for the back door.

“What’s a sistah gotta do to get some love up in here?” Dawn asked, extending her arms.

“Oh Dawn, I’m sorry, boo. You know I love you. You look so good! You snagged one of them fine doctors yet?” Jamaica kissed her on the cheek as he hugged her.

Though Jamaica and Dawn were only six months apart in age, he and I were by far the closest. Dawn was a close second, however. Dawn and I were the least judgmental and loved Jamaica even when he wasn’t sure who or what he wanted to be.

“I’m sooooo sorry about Papa Eddie. I’ve been crying since the moment I heard. I couldn’t even perform that night. My understudy is thrilled. I haven’t missed a performance in two years.”

“I’d love to see you dance. If you dance anything like you sing, then, man!” Dawn held his hand.

“I’m thinking of moving to Paris. They’re so much more accepting of me there. I’m a real star in the city of lights, honey,” Jamaica said, snapping his fingers in a Z formation.

“Well, baby, you’ve always been my star.” Estelle held his face in both hands as she kissed him.

“Spoken like a true mama.” Jamaica hugged her back.

“Guilty as accused,” Estelle said, beaming with pride.

“Where’ve you fellas been?” Dawn asked, as Devin and Derrick junior entered the dining room.

“We went running. Mom, you should try it. It will make you feel better,” Devin jokingly said to Dawn.

“Boy, you shouldn’t even joke like that,” Dawn said, laughing.

“We need to settle this obituary mess,” Collette said from the doorway, a cynical look on her face.

“Collette, why does it have to be a mess?” Dawn said, annoyed that Collette had interrupted the playful banter between mother and son.

“You know it is. All kinds of folks who aren’t related to him will want to be listed. And my vote counts about as much as those Florida folks’ votes did back in two thousand. So let’s just get on with it! Anybody want coffee or tea? I may as well have some purpose for being here.” We heard the clatter as Collette filled the teakettle in the kitchen.

“I think I’ll have some chamomile to calm my nerves,” Jamaica said. “I’m really trying not to take these Valiums, but you know a girl gotta do what a girl gotta do.”

“Let’s hope the tea does the trick,” I replied, smiling at my friend. “We’ve been lacing everything with cognac. I’m not sure if it has done much to calm our nerves. We’ve been fighting since the first phone call.”

“Ain’t dat da truf!” Uncle Thomas piped in.

“Uncle Thomas, thank you for coming by to see me this morning. Seeing you really made me feel better. I didn’t realize how much you look like Papa Eddie until today. I could have sworn it was him sitting in that wing-back chair. I always remember him sitting in that chair when he came to visit after my father left.He’d watch television with me. Play chess. Or just talk.” Tears fell, streaking his mascara.

“We need to get this obituary done and to the printer’s today if we want it back in time.” Collette set a steaming cup of hot water in front of Jamaica with a tea bag.

“She’s right. We need to get it there by four o’clock. I’m sure it will take until three fifty-nine to get it done.” Renee placed my laptop on the table.

“You going to type, Renee?” I asked, relieved it would be anyone but me.

“I don’t mind. The first order of business: Are we printing in color or black and white?”

“Color,” demanded five of us.

“Black and white,” the other four chimed in.

“Why would we even entertain the option of black and white? We plan to make a small booklet. It would look so much better with a nice color photo on the front. I thought we could do a nice color photo layout on the inside.” As though we’d spent hours rehearsing, Dawn spoke the words in my mind.

“Here goes Ms. Trump again.” Collette shook her head.

“That all seems a little fancy for Eddie. He was an elegant but simple man,” Estelle said softly.

“I ain’t seen no obituary book.” Uncle Thomas scratched his balding head.

“Okay, Derrick, and why did you say black and white?” Renee looked at her son curiously.

“PaPa and I had been working on a family crest for the family reunion this year. It was almost finished, and I wanted to put it on the program. But it’s line art and I just thought it would look better in black and white.”

“What’s a family chest?” Devin asked.

“It’s a family crest. It’s like a logo. Why didn’t we know about this family crest?” Renee quizzed.

“He wanted to keep it a surprise. We’d been working on it for a few weeks, getting it just right. So can I still put it on the program even if it is in color?”

“Where is it? I want to see it. Uncle Thomas, did you know anything about this?”

“Yeah, but I couldn’t tell y’all neitha.”

“Let’s not start jumping to conclusions. Daddy just wanted to surprise us with it. You know how much he loved surprises.” My words betrayed my heart.

“It’s in my room at home. I was filling in Missouri.”

“Missouri?” Like a mass choir on first Sunday, the word rang out in unison.

“Yeah, the crest includes the states of North Carolina, Maryland, and Missouri.”

“Did he say why Missouri? We don’t have any family in Missouri!” Collette’s eyes darted from one to the other of us around the table.

“Naw, I never asked. I was just really jazzed to be working on it with him. He told me what he wanted, and I drew it,” Derrick said defensively.

“Oh, baby, I’m sorry, we didn’t mean to accuse you of doing anything wrong. We’re just really surprised. That’s all. Derrick, when your daddy comes back, I want you to go home and get this crest.” Renee struggled to remain calm.

“I swear, every time we bring up the simplest thing, a new secret is divulged.” I was beginning to believe none of us truly knew Daddy.

“I never would’ve believed Eddie had so many secrets,” Estelle said with disdain.

“Well, secrets or no, Papa Eddie was da man as far as I’m concerned,” Jamaica interjected. “We need to just wait and see what happens. So, are we doing the color booklet or will it be black and white? And Miss Collette, if money is the issue, then I will pay for it my damn self. Sorry, Mama.”

“Well, you just do that. Then y’all can trim it in gold if you choose. I’m sick of everyone telling me how they are spending my money.”

“Your money!” I was on my feet before I realized what I was doing.

“Sit down, Sissy! Jus’ leave it be. Let’s git on wit’ dis obituary bidness. Don’t it have to be at the printer by four o’clock?”

“Uncle Thomas, I’m sick of her and this money issue.”

“I said, sit yo’ ass down and move on!”

The smugness on Collette’s face infuriated me even more. I made mental plans to ambush her ass. But I knew Uncle Thomas was right. We needed to move on.

“Uncle Thomas, is there anything you want included about your childhoods in the obituary? We have all the basic information: parents, schooling, Mama, et cetera,” Dawn began.

“I think the proper way to do it is all of his personal information in the first paragraph, then family ties in the second paragraph, and then other information follows.” Jamaica always talked with his hands flashing his amazing jewelry.

“You’re right, Jimmy. Now the question becomes who do we list in the second paragraph?” Collette pulled the pin from the grenade, threw it, and sat back waiting for the explosion.

“Let’s get through paragraph one first,” Dawn said, rolling her eyes at Collette.

“We know full well what’ll be in the first paragraph. These are the facts: Edward Zachary Naylor was born June third, nineteen hundred thirty-eight, to Luella and Edward Naylor, in Rocky Point, North Carolina. The family moved to Baltimore in nineteen forty-three to pursue a better life. Edward was educated in the Baltimore public school system, graduating from Edmondson High School in nineteen fifty-six. He received a bachelor of science degree in engineering while attending Morgan State College after serving four years in the United States Army. He had been employed by Bethlehem Steel for more than twenty years at the time of his death on August twenty-seventh, two thousand and one. Now can we move on to the listing of survivors?” Collette twirled a cigarette between her fingers.

“Let’s back up to the cover, Miss Fast Ass! I like the idea of a sunrise/sunset cover,” Dawn continued. “I’ve seen a few different ones. We can use his baby picture as the sunrise and the engagement picture he took with Estelle back in June for the sunset. Then overlap them slightly, with his date of birth and date of death. ‘Home-going Celebration’ at the top, with his name at the bottom. All in a really nice font.” Dawn’s suggestion set well with everyone, including Collette.

“I can do all the graphic work, if you want,” Derrick volunteered.

“Derrick, that would be great. Are you sure you don’t mind?” His unassuming spirit warmed my heart.

“I really want to do it. I just don’t want y’all to fight about this anymore. Devin and I are really bummed about everybody being so mad all the time. We talked about it while we ran this morning.”

And a child shall lead them … I was too embarrassed being so respectfully put in check by my nephew to look at the others. The thickness of the quiet was suffocating. No one wanted to be the first to speak. Who among us could say anything in rebuttal? Combining death, secrets, envy, and money was causing irreparable family division. A family Edward Naylor worked so hard to preserve.

“Derrick, we’ll do our best to stop the bickering,” I said quietly. “We’re sure leading by real poor example. Thank you for volunteering to do the layout of the obituary. I think I speak for all of us when I say we’d be honored to have you do it.” I was so ashamed of our behavior.

“I think I’m going to be ill,” Collette said. “You act like butter wouldn’t melt in your mouth. You’re the main one always starting some mess, especially with me!” She worked her neck.

“See, I could go there with you, but I’m not. I just promised my nephews.”

“Whatever. Now that the cover is taken care of, let’s move on to survivorship.”

Dawn looked from me to Collette and back again before she started. “First, we need to include his marriage, the date, where they lived, and us.”

“Shouldn’t we also include when he became a Christian and the church he belonged to all of these years?” Renee asked.

“Yes, that should be listed in the personal part of the obituary, for sure,” I added.

“Okay, we’ve got all that. What about the part he leaves to cherish his memory?” Collette wanted desperately to start some more mess.

“Of course, we’re listed first in birth order, including Derrick, next his grandchildren, then Uncle Thomas, his children, Aunt Ida Mae, Estelle, her children, and then close friends like Mister Willie, Roberta, and Rico.” Dawn never looked in Collette’s direction.

“Oh, we forgot the mailman,” Collette said sarcastically. “Daddy knew him for like fifteen years.”

We each ignored her.

With tears forming Estelle spoke first. “I don’t want to cause any problems. If listing us in the obituary will cause any more conflict than we already have, don’t even give it a second thought.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Estelle. Everyone knows you two were getting married. Do you know how bad we’d look to everyone if we didn’t put you in there?” Renee rolled her eyes at Collette.

“I think Renee’s right,” I said. “If we didn’t include Estelle, we’d be disrespecting their relationship. What difference does it make anyway whom we list. Daddy loved everyone, and everybody loved Daddy. Let’s move on.”

The remainder of the conversation was strained, but we managed to get through it with minimal disagreements. I looked around the table and wondered if I was the only one who’d thought of Nina Blackford and Edwina in this process. Should their names be listed in Daddy’s obituary? I thought back over the years, trying to remember if there was ever the slightest hint that Daddy had a secret life. There was none.

Friends stopped by throughout the early afternoon, and they were a welcome diversion because we seemed to argue less when visitors were present.

“I think that takes care of the program,” Dawn said. “Jamaica, do you really think you will be able to get through the song? You misted up when we read you’d be singing it,” she teased good-heartedly.

“Gurl, I’ll do the best I can. I’ll make Papa Eddie proud. I should do a dance routine. That would bring down the house.”

“Boy, this is not a theater production. This is a funeral! Hush your mouth.”

“But, Mama, Michelle and I could do the freedom dance routine I choreographed a long time ago. I bet she still remembers it. It is so beautiful. It would be tasteful, and I think it would be a wonderful tribute. People do all kinds of things at funerals now’days.”

“Maybe them theater people, but not at my Eddie’s funeral!” Estelle was visibly angry.

“Well, I personally think it would be a great idea.” The look in Collette’s eyes was all-telling.

“I don’t think Bishop would like the idea at all.” I couldn’t believe how evil my sister could be.

“It was just a suggestion. I don’t want to start no mess.” Jamaica was truly hurt.

“So we can send this document over to the printer?” Dawn asked.

“As soon as Derrick does his thing, it’s a wrap,” Renee said.

“That just leaves the limos,” I said. “I think we need three. That’s room for twenty-one people.” I wanted this to move along. We’d spent way too much time and energy disagreeing.

I so wanted to get back to a life that I had taken for granted. A life filled with love, peace, and measurable harmony. But in my heart of hearts, I knew that was a castle in the sky. My life would never be the same.

With the next influx of people came Rico and Jonathan. Seeing my best friend brought such comfort. She busied herself in the kitchen, and Jonathan naturally migrated to Derrick senior. They’d become friends when he and Rico had attended the first family reunion after they were married. The hours on the basketball court and at the local billiard parlor had fused a lifelong bond. It seemed in the sea of women I had neglected to notice Derrick had no allies. It was amazing to watch how men handled emotional stress. Derrick loved Daddy like a father, yet he hadn’t shed a tear, at least none I’d seen. He’d taken care of Renee’s every need. He’d tolerated her outbursts and held her until her sobs subsided. He’d been a rock. Yet when he was in the company of Jonathan he seemed less strong, and pulled from Jonathan’s strength. They talked, briefly catching up on work, sports, and the latest car craze. Then the two old friends headed for the backyard to fire up the grill.

I went to join Rico in the kitchen. She was chopping onions to make her world-famous (or at least southern California–famous) turkey salad.

“So, how are you doing? And I want the truth. You look really tired. Have you been sleeping?”

“Dang, one question at a time. I’m as okay as someone can be who is going to bury her father in a couple days. I’m really tired. We’ve done nothing but argue since I got here. Collette is so unreasonable. She’s unhappy and not content unless the rest of us are there with her.”

“She didn’t speak to me when I came in. She made a big point of speaking to everyone else. I’ll be here for you, but I won’t take any abuse from her. While I couldn’t possibly know what you’re feeling, I do know what I’m feeling, and I hurt all over. When we pulled into the driveway, I felt like a boulder fell onto my chest. I loved Papa Eddie so much. It was all very clinical to me until I got here.” Mascara-stained tears began to draw vertical lines on Rico’s stunning face.

“I’ll talk to her. But just so you know she isn’t discriminating, she isn’t speaking to me either.” We both laughed.

“Is there anything else you need me to do? Any errands you need me to run? Airport trips, flowers, toilet paper, it doesn’t matter. I’m here to help in any way I can. I brought some Remy Martin XO for later. We can make some herbal tea. This is for medicinal purposes, of course. And you can’t argue with your doctor.” Rico smiled, making her eyes sparkle.

“You’re a pediatric surgeon. How’re you my doctor?” I laughed.

“You’re a big kid at heart?”

“I’ll grant you that!” Her strength reinforced me as I hugged her.

“Where’s Aunt Ida Mae? Will she be here? I do so love her. She’s quite the character.”

“She’s taking the bus. She’ll be here tomorrow morning.”

“The bus?”

“Don’t even ask. We tried to get her to fly. But she’s so stubborn.”

“I’m surprised Roberta’s not here. She thinks she’s one of you guys.”

“Gurl, don’t talk her up. I’m sure she’ll be here later. Some of Daddy’s friends are staying with her. They’re flying in late tonight.”

“As soon as I finish mixing the turkey salad, we’d better join the others. They’ll get an attitude with you for hanging out here with me,” Rico halfheartedly kidded me.

“You’re probably right. But there’s something I need to talk to you about first.”

Rico stopped mixing to stare at me. “What is it?”

“I think Daddy has another child.”

“What?”

“I think he has this whole secret life. Another woman named Nina Blackford, who has a daughter named Edwina. They live in St. Louis.”

“You told me all of this yesterday, and it was hard to believe then. It’s even harder to believe now that I’ve had time to think about it. Papa Eddie couldn’t have another child. When would he have had time? How old is this child?” Complete astonishment robbed Rico of her reasoning.

“Well, she’s a teenager with a major attitude. I’m not sure of her age. As far as time, I haven’t a clue. But maybe when he was on one of those business trips. Maybe this Nina person lived here at one time. I just don’t know, Rico. I don’t know.”

“Has she called you back? You shouldn’t jump to any conclusions until you talk to her. You’re the lawyer.… You know, innocent until proven guilty?”

“That doesn’t apply to daddies with secrets!” My face smiled, but my heart ached.