Film at Eleven

“We need to call Estelle,” Dawn said in a monotone.

“We need to get the programs altered. I’ll call the printer as soon as he opens. The funeral home is picking us up at nine to go give our final approval of everything. I think you should be there, too.” I realized as I spoke that I’d accepted this woman as my sister.

“Slow your roll. Slow your got-damn roll!” We all turned to stare at Renee.

“I agree we need to call Estelle. But putting Nina in the obituary? I think that’s a little hasty. What are people going to think? This is a secret of the worst kind!”

“Who’s going to pay for these last-minute changes to the program?” said Collette, predictably. “We’re paying triple what we should have to pay anyway, thanks to the Trump trio.”

“First of all, finding out Daddy was a child molester is the worst possible secret we can uncover.” Dawn pounded the table for emphasis. “Nina being our sister, while a little shocking, is not a travesty. Daddy, for whatever reasons, believed that we weren’t forgiving or understanding enough to share her with us. We’ve all been cheated. I don’t want to waste another precious second on some bullshit. People will ask questions. We’ll tell the truth and let them believe what they will.”

“Uncle Thomas, what do you think? You’re unusually quiet.” I searched his face for the truth.

“I thinks Dawn’s right. I don’t know why Eddie thought he had ta keep dis all to hisself. But Ray Charles could see Nina is y’all’s sistah. Her name belongs in dat obituary. She belongs in da family car. She belongs in da front pew. This is Eddie Naylor’s young’un. And I wants to be the first to welcome her to da Naylor family.”

“Welcome her? You trippin’!” Collette shouted.

“Look, Collette. You’ve disrespected Uncle Thomas about as much as I’m going to stand for.” I was pissed. “Now you apologize and don’t be cussing and acting like you weren’t raised.”

“We’ve all been cussing. Why is it always me that is getting picked on!”

“It’s because you make it so easy.”

“Don’t y’all start!” Dawn said. “I agree with Uncle Thomas. I want to welcome you, too. But please be patient with us. This is a lot for us to comprehend. But you do look exactly like us, especially Collette. I don’t know either why Daddy didn’t think we’d understand. This is such a horrible way for us to be introduced. So where’s our niece?”

“Listen at yourselves!” said Collette. “Welcome to the family? Where’s our niece? This woman walks in here, weaving tales about our father, and we just take her word for it. What would Daddy think of y’all? He always taught us not to be gullible, and she just shows up on our doorstep talking about she’s our long-lost sister and your arms fly open faster than a hooker’s legs on a sailor’s payday. Sorry, Uncle Thomas.”

“Collette,” Renee said wearily, “if we hadn’t found her name in his will or the insurance policy, then yes, maybe we’d have cause to be suspicious. But we know she meant a lot to Daddy just from him leaving her an equal share of his estate. And, Collette, look at her.” Tears began to form in Renee’s eyes.

“I don’t want to hear one more time how much she looks like me. They say we all have a twin.”

“I’ll call Estelle,” I said. “Nina, I know you’re telling the truth. Y’all can stay here with us. We’ll make room. Is Edwina coming for the funeral, too?” I said, heading toward the kitchen phone. Everyone shushed while I quickly made the call.

“My mother, stepfather, and Edwina will be here at two-thirty this afternoon,” Nina said when I hung up. “We don’t want to impose. We know you have a lot to talk about. But I assure you that I want nothing from you, except your love and acceptance. I agree that we’ve been cheated out of so many years. But don’t think harshly of Poppee. He just did what he thought was best. When we struggle with truth, it sometimes seems so much worse to us than it will to anyone else. Most people don’t even care. I know I’ll cause a raised eyebrow or two by being here. But folks will get over it.”

“Why did you call him Poppee?” Dawn asked.

“My mother said that when I started calling him Daddy, he told me to call him Papa, but I couldn’t say it. So I called him Poppee, and Mother said he threw his head back and laughed so hard that he began to choke. She said when he stopped coughing, he hugged and kissed me and told me he would always be my poppee. And you know what, Dawn? He always was.”

“So I guess when he said da plant was sendin’ him ta St. Louis fo’ trainin’, he was comin’ ta see you?” Uncle Thomas was putting coffee mugs on the table.

“He never told us how he would get to St. Louis so often. But it seemed I was always looking forward to his visits.”

“What about holidays? You never saw him for Christmas or Easter or Father’s Day because he was always with us.” Collette’s words dripped with sarcasm.

“From before I can remember until my grandmother died when I was thirteen, she’d bring me here. We’d stay at the Holiday Inn for holidays. He’d take me out to lunch and spend a lot of time with me.”

“See, I know you lying now! Daddy was always with us on holidays.” Renee was angry.

“I don’t know what to tell you. On Christmas morning at around ten he’d show up at the hotel with all kinds of gifts, and we’d spend an hour or so together. Then the day after Christmas we’d spend all day together. We’d go shopping, and he’d buy all kinds of wrapping paper and decorations at half price. That night he’d put us back on an airplane, and we’d go home. Grandma would stay at the hotel while we were out. He’d always attempt to take her along, but she’d tell him we needed time alone.

“Oh my God! After we had a postdawn breakfast on Christmas morning, Daddy would leave, saying he needed to visit his buddies without families, but he’d be back in time for dinner, which was more like lunch because it was so early in the afternoon. And Daddy always went shopping the day after Christmas. I remember him telling Mama one year that she couldn’t go because he may find more gifts for her. He always came home with wrapping paper, cards, and decorations for the next year.” Renee got up to hug Nina.

“How could Daddy keep this secret from Mama all those years?” I said. “I was nine when Mama died, which would have made you seventeen?” I mindlessly stirred my coffee.

“Yes, I was seventeen. That was the first year Poppee ever missed my birthday. He loved your mother so much. He was different after that for a long time. In retrospect, I guess he felt guilty for holding this secret.”

“So, Nina, baby, you sayin’ Eddie nevah saw yo’ mama durin’ dese trips?”

“He’d pick me up and take me for a couple of days. Then he’d take me back to her. She loved Poppee, but she knew he loved Lorraine. She didn’t love him when I was conceived. She hardly knew him. But she came to love and respect him greatly, based on how he took care of me. He sent a check every month and always bought my school clothes, and Christmas was awesome.”

“Do you have other siblings?” As she spoke, Dawn tore her napkin into little pieces, something she often did when she was nervous.

“I have two younger bothers, Donnel and Chuck. They’re Daddy’s sons. Once my mother found a soldier who really loved her, she settled down, and they’ve been happily married ever since. There was never any threat to their relationship by Poppee. He made it perfectly clear that he was only interested in being with me.”

“You know, when you take out the shock value of what you’re saying, this all sounds so familiar, so Eddie Naylor.” I smiled at her.

All of us, except Collette, seemed to have started to relax. There was no longer any doubt in my mind; this woman was my sister. Her husband seemed to possess the qualities of a good man, and his physical resemblance to Daddy was uncanny. Victor busied himself assisting Uncle Thomas with breakfast preparations. Uncle Thomas thought food could soothe any ill. I did so love that about him. I had a million questions for Nina and wanted them all answered now.

Collette was on the porch smoking and talking to herself. Even she had to recognize the truth. Renee’s body language had relaxed, which meant she, too, had accepted the reality. Dawn looked as though she was in a haze. Sadness filled her eyes. I could only surmise what I saw to be disappointment. Her dream of the perfect father had been shattered.

Collette came back into the kitchen. “So, if I understand this right, your mother, stepfather, and daughter are coming here to my, I mean our, father’s funeral uninvited. Just stirring up some mess. Well, I say you’re not welcome here. We have an image to uphold. My father was a pillar of the community. What will all of the board members think? Bishop will be devastated. This is an outrage. I won’t stand for it.” Every toxic puff on her cigarette must have given Collette new momentum in arrogance.

“We mean no disrespect to Poppee’s image in the church or community or family for that matter. But the fact remains, I’m his daughter. His name is on my birth certificate, and I’m in his will. I’ll be at the wake and the funeral. Now, I can’t force you to let me sit with you, but I’ll be in that church with my husband and daughter. My parents are coming because they considered themselves his friends. Daddy and Poppee had a wonderful relationship based on love and respect. Poppee told him often how much he appreciated him taking care of his daughter when he couldn’t be around to do it himself. I can’t begin to really understand how you all must feel, but you can’t imagine how I’ve felt all these years. I won’t let you even try to tarnish my memory of the wonderful man who gave me life.” Tears began to flow around the room.

“Alls I know is, everythang ya say, chile, sho’ ’nuff sounds like mah brotha. My mama preached ta us from the time we were eleven and twelve that we’d betta not make no babies. She couldn’t support us, let alone somebody else. And she said we had ta take care of any babies we made. I can undastan’ why Eddie was ’fraid to let Mama know.”

“But Uncle Thomas, wasn’t Grandma dead?” Dawn asked.

“Yeah she was by da time Nina here woulda been born, but it was jus’ somethin’ ’bout da respect we had for our elders dat extended beyond dis here life.”

“Nina, would you and Victor like to freshen up or take a nap before they come to take us to the funeral home? I really think you should come with us.”

“I’d love to take a shower, and thank you, Glynda, for accepting me for who I am. I truly don’t want to seem forceful with my stand on this issue, but I love Poppee just like you all do.”

I stood to hug my new sister. “You couldn’t help but love the man. Let me show you all to the guest room, where you can put your things and freshen up.”

As we began to move down the hall toward the guest room, Estelle and Jamaica arrived. As her gaze fell upon Nina, Estelle lost her balance and fell against the wall. Jamaica reached for his mother, but he missed and she fell where she stood. Sheer horror filled her eyes.

“Estelle, are you alright?” Dawn rushed to her side. She switched from grieving daughter to nurse in point two seconds.

“This has to be Eddie’s child. Lord, please tell me there’s not another woman. I can’t take any more. I just can’t take any more.” She began to wail.

Nina leaned down beside her to comfort her and spoke softly. “Estelle, there’s no need to worry. I’m Eddie Naylor’s daughter. But he and my mother were over before they ever started. You need not worry. He loved you and talked about you all the time. My name is Nina.” She and Dawn helped Estelle to her feet.

“Lord, Lord, Lord. You’re Eddie’s child?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Estelle steadied herself, stepped back, and swept her eyes over the full length of Nina’s body three times. “Come here, chile, and give me a hug.”

Nina broke down again and fell into Estelle’s waiting arms. They both cried and rocked back and forth in a synchronized rhythm. They immediately seemed to have a bond that none of us had ever had with Estelle. Was it that they both felt like outsiders to the Naylor girls’ circle?

“I guess this is the urgent news Thomas referred to when he called. I couldn’t imagine what else could have possibly happened. How’re all of y’all taking this?”

“Obviously not as well as you.” An ice sculpture could have been carved from Collette’s words.

“Just give this all some time. I guess I’m relieved to finally know who the mysterious Nina Blackford is.”

“Estelle, this is my husband, Victor. My daughter, mother, and stepfather will be here this afternoon.”

“You guys come on so you can get showered and changed. Where’s your luggage?” I was motioning toward the guest room.

“I’ll get our things from the car. Honey, you going to be okay?” Victor kissed Nina on the cheek.

“What do you think we’re going to do to her?” Renee said, half-jokingly.

“Nina pretends to have it all together for appearance’s sake. But, truth be known, she isn’t doing so great at all. My comment had nothing to do with you all, but everything to do with my wife.” Victor had put Renee in check quite nicely.

There was minimal conversation while Victor retrieved their belongings, but something seemed to pass between us nonetheless. I wasn’t sure what would happen next, but I expected the next few hours to prove quite interesting.

After getting them settled into the guest room, I returned to the kitchen. I was more than a little fearful of the conversation that awaited me. The thirty-second walk back to the kitchen left me no time for meaningful reflection.

“This is the worst mess.” Renee shook her head as she spoke. “What are people going to think? We all grew up in the church together. Everyone knows us. This is so embarrassing.”

“I agree, we’ll have some explaining to do,” I said, “but to say that this is the worst it could possibly be just isn’t accurate. Listening to what Nina said made me love and respect Daddy even more. What an incredible burden he carried around with him all these years. He did what he considered to be the right thing—shouldered his responsibility and did whatever it took to protect us. So I don’t want to hear any of us say we’re ashamed of him. Ever!” Tired didn’t even begin to explain how I felt.

“All of y’all are just so accepting and goody-goody.” Collette paced as she spoke. “If that woman rides in the family car, I’m not going. If she sits in the front pew, I’ll sit on the other side. She’s his love child. She has no place with us. Daddy had every right to be ashamed of her.”

“Why ya gonna be like dat? Dat woman ain’t done a damn thang to you. Chile, you need to git on yo’ knees and ax God ta forgive ya for all dat malice ya got in yo’ heart. God can’t bless you when yo’ heart is so full of hate, ya don’t have room fo’ Him in dere!” Uncle Thomas pointed his finger at Collette’s chest as he spoke.

“Collette, baby, your daddy didn’t do any more than anyone else,” Estelle said. “He was just such a proud man. This explains so much of what was going on with him lately. He would just be mad for no reason. He’d stop talking. When I asked him what was wrong, he’d tell me I was being paranoid. But like a mother knows her child, a woman knows her man. I’ve known Eddie for many a year, and I knew something was bothering him. Your uncle is right, you need to let go of some of this bitterness. It’ll destroy you. Hate only hurts the hater. You have a unique opportunity to embrace another sister. Someone who loves your father the same way you do. That will help to sustain his memory.”

“We need to shower and change to go to the funeral home. You coming, Renee?” Collette turned to leave as though Estelle had said nothing at all.

“We’ll be back by eight-thirty.” Renee’s eyes begged me not to say any more to Collette.

“If that woman is going, I’m not!” Collette spat.

“Have it your way,” I replied simply.

Without another word Collette left with Renee in tow. As the front door slammed, I breathed a sigh of relief. We’d at least have a short time without any tension.

Dawn finally broke the silence. “I don’t think Collette is serious, do you?”

“Who knows what your sister will do. But her actions will bring far more shame to this family than Nina does. Can you imagine what people will think and say if she doesn’t ride or sit with us?” I shook my head.

“My sister? Hell, she was your sister first. And people will say there goes ole crazy-ass Collette Naylor. Everybody knows she has issues. I do know we need to make Nina feel as welcome as we possibly can. She’s been through a whole lot over the years. Can you imagine knowing you have sisters and not being able to contact them?”

“I’m happy to see at least you two have five good senses,” Estelle said. “That woman has done nothing but be born. And if that’s a crime, then we all stand guilty. And how many of us are the product of single parents? Collette just needs to check herself. She’s so self-righteous. Your daddy worried about her all the time. He said she needed counseling. But she insisted there’s nothing wrong with her.”

“She ain’t nevah got ovah Lorraine’s death. Ain’t no tellin’ what dis here thang gonna do ta her. But you right ’bout one thang, though; it gonna look real bad if she doesn’t sit with ya’ll and ride in the car.”

“She’s probably just blowing smoke. I bet she’ll be back here with Renee at eight-thirty. Just to make sure we don’t spend too much of her money.” Dawn laughed as she spoke.

“Now that is probably the one thing that will bring her around,”I said. “One thing all of this has done is made me forget the task ahead of us. We’d better get showered and dressed. I’m too stressed for Uncle Thomas’s grits this morning.”

“Oh Lord, you know if we don’t want grits, we need prayer, therapy, or both.” Estelle leaned over to hug both of us.

Estelle and I cleared the table as Dawn went to shower. I was lost in my thoughts as we worked in silence. Had Daddy’s perfect image really been shattered? His crime had been to deprive us of our sister for all these years. Years we could never retrieve.

My mother had been a woman of impeccable character. She lived her Christianity rather than talked it. She was kind, loving, and forgiving. There was nothing that Daddy could have told her about Nina that would have changed her perception of the only man she’d ever loved. In any case, by all accounts Nina had been conceived before they’d met.

Daddy had carried this secret to his grave, a secret that very well may have put him there before his time. But Estelle’s demeanor had changed; though still grieving, a burden seemed to have lifted with the unveiling of Nina Blackford.

I needed to call Rico. According to our body clocks, it was still very early in the morning. As a pediatric trauma surgeon, she was no stranger to being awakened by frantic phone calls. My mind and body craved Anthony. Making love to him was the ultimate pleasure, but sleeping next to him was the ultimate peace. I’d hoped he’d have a chance to call me again soon. Again, I felt as if I’d cheated us both by being so stubborn and independent.

Nina startled Estelle and me both when she entered the kitchen. “Thank you,” she said, smiling. “I feel so much better. I’m tired, but the shower worked wonders. Can I do anything to help?”

“No, we’re finishing up. Uncle Thomas made breakfast. Would you like some? We just didn’t have much of an appetite this morning.”

“A little much to digest: new sister, bacon, and eggs?” Nina laughed. She had a witty sense of humor. I liked that. I could learn to love her with minimal effort.

“I want to know everything there is to know about you, and I want to know it all now. I have to warn you, Collette says she won’t ride or sit with us if you come along. We told her then she’ll have to make her own arrangements.”

“I don’t want to cause any problems among you. Victor and I will get there on our own, and I can sit in the back. I just know that I have to be there. I don’t have to go with you this morning. I really don’t want to see him like this anyway.”

“Oh hell, naw. If I gotta go, you gotta go. You’re a Naylor girl. All for one and one for all.”

“Oh Glynda, Poppee was so perceptive. He told me exactly what to expect from each of you. He told me you’d question me until you were satisfied that I was telling the truth. Then it would be like I’d been a part of this family since day one.

“He said Dawn wouldn’t even question me. She’d take one look at me and she’d immediately love me. Renee would be a harder nut to crack, but crackable. He said that by the end of the family—” Nina paused, caught in her own thoughts.

I rubbed her arm.

“He said by the end of the family reunion, Renee would’ve reluctantly relinquished her position as oldest sibling, but relinquished nonetheless. Then there’s Collette. He said that she may never come around, that she would be angry and spiteful and would say anything she could to hurt me. He told me not to be surprised if she never accepted me as your sister.

“But, Glynda, he promised me he’d be here to protect me. Why did he leave just when we were about to be a whole family?” Nina began to sob.

“I don’t know, Nina.” Of course I couldn’t let her cry alone.

“Oh, so you thought you could have a good cry without me?” Dawn entered the kitchen fresh and looking so beautiful.

“Oh we’re sorry. We won’t start without you next time.” Nina wiped tears with the back of her hand.

“Glyn, you’d better get showered and changed. Then maybe you’ll be up to some toast and coffee before we leave. I think we need to eat something. Because if you faint, you on your own.” Dawn kissed me lightly on the cheek.

“See how they do you, Nina? I’ll be out in about thirty minutes. You two get to know each other. Estelle went into the den with Uncle Thomas. Ask him if he wants you to make some more coffee.”

I left the oldest and youngest of Eddie Naylor’s daughters to get acquainted. If Daddy could see Dawn and me, I knew he would be smiling. I showered quickly and wrapped the towel around me, then called Rico. I wanted so badly to invite her along to the initial viewing, but I dared not. I did, however, want her here waiting when I returned. Roberta was bringing Daddy’s friends over at noon. By three o’clock the house would be a bevy of activity. All of the family and friends would be gathered before the funeral. Close friends had agreed to congregate at the house and follow us to the church.

She picked up on the first ring a little out of breath.

“Did I interrupt something?” I asked mischievously.

“Hey, gurl! Your timing is impeccable. How are you this glorious morning?” Mornings were always glorious when she made love with Jonathan.

“Well, considering what today is, I guess I’m doing okay. I really want you to be here when we get back from the funeral home. I also need you to pick up Aunt Ida Mae from the bus terminal at nine forty-five. Do you remember what she looks like?”

“Of course, I remember her. I still can’t believe she wouldn’t fly. I hear something in your voice. What are you not telling me?”

“Nina Blackford showed up this morning.”

I heard Rico shift in bed. “What?”

“You heard me. Nina Blackford was here when I woke up this morning. She’s my sister.”

“Oh my God. So she’s the sister, not Edwina?”

“No. Edwina is my niece.”

“I can’t imagine Papa Eddie having an affair. I just can’t.”

“Well, you’re not wrong. She was conceived before he and Mama met. He took care of her all this time. She calls him Poppee. He was as much a father to her as he was to us, he just didn’t see her all the time. He never missed any major occasions with her, though, and she knows everything about us.”

“Damn. How’re you dealing with all of this?”

“It’s beyond comprehension, but when you see her, there’ll be no doubt in your mind she’s my sister. She’s Collette’s twin.”

“Oh Lord, I know Collette isn’t feelin’ any of this. How are Dawn and Renee doing with all of it?”

“Dawn never missed a beat. Oh, new sister? Come on up in here so I can give you some love. Renee is standoffish, but she’s dealing with it. Collette says she won’t ride or sit with us if we acknowledge Nina as our sister. I’m calling the printer as soon as I get off the phone with you to tell him to add her and Edwina’s names. She’ll ride with us, and she’ll be sittin’ in the front pew. Number one position.”

“Gurl, Jonathan and I will pray for you right away. Today is going to be so hard. And Collette is going to do everything she can to make sure it is even worse.”

“I’d better get dressed. I’ll see you when we get back. Roberta should be here around noon or so. Why don’t the two of you team up to make sure everything runs like it should.”

“Whoa, what is this I’m hearing? You and Roberta allies?”

“I’ve learned something in these past few days. Life is way too short to sweat the dumb stuff. Roberta is way too fast. Waaaay too fast, but the bottom line is, she loves Daddy and he loved her. Her intentions are good. And who in the hell do I think I am to say she can’t do whatever it is she feels she can. She’s Renee’s best friend. Renee needs her best friend. And I fully understand that!”

“I love you, Glynda.”

“I love you, too, Rico.” A sense of comfort washed over me like the warm water during a much-needed shower.

I quickly called the printer and made my request. Despite his protest, he found it in his best interest financially to grant my wishes. I dressed in black stretch pants and a black tank top. I started to put on makeup, then thought better of it. What was the point? I’d have it cried off by ten o’clock.

“Daddy, I’m on my way to see you,” I said softly, looking at myself in the mirror before turning off the light.