All for One?

True to her word, Collette didn’t return before the long black car with tinted windows arrived to transport us to the funeral home. We waited an additional fifteen minutes before deciding to leave without her. Pain encircled my chest at the thought of pettiness robbing us of one another’s comfort.

Nina cried softly on Victor’s shoulder. Though we explained she was not responsible for Collette’s actions, we failed miserably at convincing her. Once we were settled in the car, we all fell silent. I presumed we were all lost in our thoughts. Fear gripped my very being as I anticipated my reaction to seeing Daddy in a casket.

The ride seemed to take forever, but at the same time it was over in an instant. The well-appointed three-story facility loomed over us. The driver opened our doors and assisted us to the sidewalk without uttering a sound. We assembled in a small circle, no one taking the lead to enter the building. Dawn gripped my hand.

“If you all don’t mind, I’d like to say a little prayer before we go inside,” Victor offered.

“Okay.” I couldn’t manage to say anything else.

“Most gracious and merciful Father, I come before you praising and thanking You for this opportunity to call on You. I ask in Your Son’s holy name that You send Your guardian angels to watch over these sisters as they embark on this seemingly impossible task. But Father, we stand on Your promise that You shall not allow more trouble to fall upon us than we will be able to handle. Lord, I also ask that the building of relationships between Your daughters begin right now. In Christ’s name we ask, amen.”

We all murmured, “Amen.”

“Victor, thank you. Are you a minister?” As Renee asked the question, I realized we knew nothing about my new sister and brother-in-law.

“No. But I’m a believer. And I know that prayer makes everything a little better.”

“Amen to that,” I added, feeling a little steadier than when I first took steps onto the pavement.

Nina took her husband’s hand and started toward the building. The driver opened the door to allow us entry. Soft music filled the air, and the foyer was decorated in soft pastels. A massive marble table dominated the space. A young woman dressed in a beautiful charcoal gray designer suit stood to greet us.

“You’re the Naylor family, I presume.” She extended her hand while smiling genuinely. “We here at Brown Funeral Home would like to express our heartfelt sympathy and stand ready to make this process as stress-free as possible. If you would please step this way, I’ll take you to the office of the director assigned to your family. May I offer you tea, coffee, juice, or water?”

We each declined. She led us to an office that was lavishly furnished. The walls were filled with pictures and plaques that bore the name of the man who founded the establishment.

“Mr. Brown will be with you momentarily.”

“Thank you,” I managed. Everyone else sat stoically.

In a matter of a few seconds, Mr. Brown entered carrying a file. “Good morning. I’m sorry to have kept you waiting. I was reviewing your father’s file and making our last-minute checks before we escort you to the private viewing room. I see everything is in order. I wanted to commend you for getting the casket delivered to us on time. We were able to have everything prepared on schedule. Your father is being laid to rest in style. I think you’ll be pleased.”

What in the hell was he talking about? Pleased? Pleased about seeing my daddy in a casket. No matter how nice the casket, how fine the clothes, how beautiful the flowers … nothing could please me about this.

“Mr. Brown,” Renee said, “we’re sure you have done a good job. Before we go any further, I’d like to introduce you to our sister, Nina Blackford.” Renee was very matter-of-fact.

“Your sister? In all the years I’ve known your father, I never knew you had another sister.” Mr. Brown raised his right eyebrow.

“Nor did we.” Renee smiled.

“The program booklets should be delivered to you by three o’clock this afternoon. If they haven’t arrived by then, please call me.” I maintained a business-as-usual tone.

“I’ll be sure to notify the receiving department right away.” Curiosity was surely getting the best of him.

“Ms. Blackford, I’m very pleased to meet you. I wish it were under different circumstances, however.” He extended his hand.

“Thank you, Mr. Brown. I, too, wish we were meeting for a social occasion.”

“I think we’re as ready as we’ll ever be to see Daddy,” Dawn interrupted.

“Certainly, Ms. Naylor. If you all will follow me this way.” He stood and led us from the office and down the hall. We passed three private viewing rooms, each with an occupied coffin. I assumed each awaited the approval of the next of kin. Mr. Brown stopped on the far side of the door to the third room on the left. We each froze where we stood. Looking from one to the other, no one wanted to enter first.

After a long moment, Nina took Renee’s hand and they made steps toward the doorway. Uncle Thomas and Estelle followed them. Dawn, Victor, Derrick, and I fell into step behind.

A deep moan escaped from Renee before she collapsed. Derrick rushed past Uncle Thomas and Estelle to his wife’s aid. Nina’s knees betrayed her as she began sobbing uncontrollably. Victor was at her side before she hit the floor. Uncle Thomas, Estelle, Dawn, and I were so consumed with our own grief we were unable to be of any assistance. Renee and Nina had blocked the entrance to the room. Mr. Brown managed to get on the other side of the incapacitated sisters. He helped their husbands get them to their feet and into waiting chairs.

Estelle entered the viewing room next. With each step toward the casket her moans became more pronounced. She began chanting Daddy’s name. I walked slowly toward Daddy, holding on to Uncle Thomas’s right arm. Dawn held his left.

We felt Uncle Thomas falter, and we both braced him. Words seemed so inconsequential. We each emitted a torturous sound of anguish. I realized for the first time that this viewing wasn’t for our approval. It was to allow those closest to the deceased a time to display their grief privately.

We were a mess. Renee couldn’t even sit in the chair. She was on her knees with her face buried in the cushion of the seat. Derrick rubbed her back while tears streamed silently down his flushed cheeks. Estelle had laid her head on Daddy’s chest and was stroking his bearded face. She babbled something incomprehensible. Uncle Thomas was bent over with his hands on his knees rocking back and forth, saying, “Lord, Lord, Lord,” in rapid succession. Nina had buried her face in Victor’s chest, and her body quaked from her sobs. He stroked her hair. Tears filled his eyes but refused to fall. Dawn had turned her back to the coffin. She held herself tight and swayed back and forth. I stood in the middle of the chaos.

I stared from one to the other. I couldn’t make my mind process the situation. I knew something horrible had happened. I was an unwilling observer, not a participant. I couldn’t comprehend what was making these people act this way. The man in front of me in the casket looked a lot like my daddy, but that couldn’t be him. My daddy was too happy and healthy to be dead. Everything went black.

For someone who had never fainted before in her life, I’d now hit the floor twice in three days. I could hear someone calling my name. The voice was familiar. As much as I struggled to open my eyes, they seemed glued shut. I could hear everything happening around me, but I didn’t know where I was. My head ached as I willed myself to open my eyes. Slivers of light found their way to my optic nerves. Then glaring light. Nothing was in focus, but I knew people stood over me. I could feel their presence. Someone asked if he should dial 911. Someone else said I was coming around. I remember wondering, Who are these people? As my eyes began to focus, I recognized Victor. My new sister’s husband knelt over me softly calling my name. As though electric currents passed through my body, I jerked. I remembered we were in a small viewing room in the funeral home that had possession of my father’s remains.

“She’s awake. You alright?” Victor asked.

“I think so. I can’t believe I’ve fainted again. What is wrong with me?”

“Let me help you up. I want you to sit up first. Then we’ll help you to your feet. You ready?” Victor took one arm, Derrick the other.

“Glynda, I think you need to see a doctor. This fainting can’t be a good sign. Are you pregnant, baby?” Estelle asked in her best motherly tone.

“No, Estelle, but I think I’ll see a doctor when I get home.”

“Okay, we’re going to help you to your feet. You ready?” Derrick asked compassionately.

“I think so.”

Victor was very strong. He lifted me off the floor and stood me upright in one smooth movement. Though my head was spinning, I was steady.

“Gurl, you scared me half to death. Come sit here.” Dawn led me to a chair directly in front of the casket.

“I’m sorry y’all. I guess I just can’t deal with this.” I gestured toward the casket.

“There’s absolutely no need to apologize, baby. We were so busy taking care of you we had to stop thinking about ourselves for a minute.” Estelle pressed my arm.

“Yeah, Estelle’s right. I came to my senses real quick when you hit the floor.” Renee laughed weakly.

“Mr. Brown, I guess we should take a look at everything to make sure it meets with our approval. After all, that’s why we’re here.” Dawn managed a smile.

“Ms. Naylor, please take your time. We’re here to serve. May I get anyone some water or juice?”

Again we declined. Everyone was gathered around me as we all put off the inevitable. We would have to approach the casket and look at Daddy. I made the first move. I stood, hoping my legs wouldn’t betray me. I moved slowly toward the exquisitely crafted, oblong eternal dwelling for the remains of Edward Zachary Naylor.

My family followed. None of us spoke. I touched Daddy’s face and snatched my hand away immediately. His skin’s frigidity shocked me. I realized I’d never touched a dead person before. Renee stood very close to me, stroking my arm. She touched his perfectly manicured hands, which were crossed at his waist. Dawn ran her hand along the edge of his suit lapel. No one uttered a sound, but we spoke volumes.

“Everything seems to be exactly as we requested, Mr. Brown,” Dawn said in a preoccupied voice. “You’ve done a wonderful job. He looks so peaceful.”

“Yessah, y’all did a mighty fine job. He looks like he’s sleepin’,” Uncle Thomas said, wiping his eyes.

“My Eddie would be very pleased.”

“We’ll have him moved to the main chapel right away for public viewing. We’ve had a lot of calls asking when they could come by to pay their respects.”

“Then we’ll see you at the church this evening, Mr. Brown?” I asked, turning away from Daddy.

“Yes, I’ll be handling this service personally.”

“I guess we can head back to the house?” Renee asked of no one in particular.

“I’ll have the car pulled around. I just need two signatures and we do have a final bit of business to handle.”

“Oh yes, the payment. I almost forgot. I guess we should go back to your office?” Renee asked.

A sense of relief found its way to the funeral director’s face. He was glad Renee had brought up the payment first. “Right this way.”

We filed out of the room and back to the office in which we’d been seated before. Dawn had a faraway look that mirrored my feelings. I understood why the funeral home provided car service throughout the process. I don’t think any of us was in any condition to drive.

Renee paid the full amount due and thanked Mr. Brown again. Unusually quiet, we slowly left the building and descended the stairs toward the waiting car. Nina startled me when she began to speak.

“You may think I’m overstepping my bounds, but why did you have to pay for Poppee’s expenses? He told me he had lots of insurance.”

“Oh, we’d had words with Mr. Brown when we were first making the arrangements. He was trying to charge according to what he perceived was our ability to pay. So when he asked for the policies, we told him he needn’t concern himself with the insurance because we were paying cash.”

“Very good business move. Poppee always talked about your business savvy.”

“We know so little about you and what you do, Nina. We’re so caught up in all of this we haven’t even asked,” I said, waiting my turn to get in the car.

“I know. There’s not a lot to tell, I guess. I’m a clinical social worker with a master’s degree in psychology. I manage a unit at a hospital for emotionally challenged teens. I’ve been in social work my entire adult life. I met Victor while I was working as a counselor in the justice system. He’s a parole officer. We fell in love on our first date, and that was eighteen years ago. We were married seven months after our first date and have been more than happy ever since. You’ve spoken to Edwina; she’s our only child.”

“We have a million questions,” Dawn said. “I’m sure you’ll answer them in time. I know I speak for Renee and Glynda when I say we’re happy to have you as a part of our family. It’ll take some adjusting to on our part, but we’ll all be just fine. Don’t worry about Collette; she’ll come around.”

“The last thing I want to do is cause any more grief. I think my greatest disappointment is that Poppee isn’t here to help us all get through this.”

None of us responded. We spent the remainder of the ride home in silence. As we turned the corner, I was amazed at the number of cars parked in front of Daddy’s house. The one car I wanted to see was conspicuously absent: Collette’s.

Before we had all congregated on the sidewalk to thank the driver for the transportation, the front door flew open and Roberta rushed out to greet us. She carried a white linen handkerchief, which she brought to her mouth as she approached us. Tears were surely not far behind. I braced myself, determined to be kind.

“Oh, I should have been with you when you went to the funeral home. Are you doing alright?” Her question was directed at Renee.

“We’re doing.”

“Why don’t you come on inside? Rico and I have prepared a light snack. I brought the Bowmans over, too. Everyone is inside. I thought you would have called me to go with you this morning.”

“It was just for immediate family. We had a private viewing and some business to handle. But you’ll be riding from the house with us tonight, right?”

“Well, if it was for immediate family, why are these people with you?” Miraculously, Roberta’s tears vanished.

Renee looked from Nina to me, as if asking permission to divulge our family secret. I was expressionless. I knew we’d have to tell this story a thousand times over during the next two days. I wanted to print flyers and pass them out with the service programs. This woman is our sister. She is my daddy’s illegitimate love child. We know as much about her as you do, so please don’t ask us any questions.

“Roberta, this is Nina Blackford. She is our sister.”

“Your sister? So when I said I was your sister, it was unacceptable, but this woman, whom I’ve never met, can say she’s your sister.”

“Roberta, she can say she’s our sister because she is our sister. She is Daddy’s oldest child.” I was praying for fortitude.

As the color drained from Roberta’s face, she began to speak. “What do you mean she’s Papa Eddie’s oldest child?”

“What part of that are you not comprehending?” Dawn said, uncommonly rude. “Daddy had a child with a woman other than our mother and here she is!”

“She just shows up and says she’s Papa Eddie’s child and you take her word for it? Well, I surely do not!”

“Roberta, we don’t give a damn whether you accept her word or not. This is none of your business. Please don’t make me remind you of your place and put you in it.” I felt my blood pressure rising.

“Well, you haven’t heard the last from me on this.” Roberta turned to walk away.

“Wait just a got-damn, fly-fucking minute,” Renee burst out. “Who do you think you are? I have put up with your butting into my family business longer than I can remember. I always felt sorry for you because you didn’t have a close family of your own. I’ve been defending you, causing friction between my real sisters and me. But you have gone too damn far this time. You better take your ass back in the house and find your place and stay the fuck in it. Or if you don’t like what I’m saying, you can take your ass home. Because you see, that was not your daddy that I just saw, and you have the option of leaving!” Renee was sweating and out of breath by the time she finished.

I couldn’t understand where Roberta got her nerve. But I was more than a little glad Renee had finally told her off. Maybe now she’d get it. We stared after her as she walked away in tears, without responding to Renee.

“Poppee had talked about Roberta from time to time, but nothing prepared me for this. She’s a bit possessive, isn’t she?”

“That she is. We’ve had more than a few words in the past few days. But her heart is in the right place, I think. She loves Daddy, but she doesn’t know when to be seen and not heard.” I couldn’t believe I was defending Roberta.

“We should go inside. Brace yourself for the questions and dirty looks. No one is going to want to believe you’re Eddie Naylor’s daughter, despite how much you look like Collette.” Renee took one of Nina’s arms, leading her toward the house.

“I’m ready. To be with you all is worth anything these people can throw at me. I’ve longed for this my entire life. I’m finally with my sisters.…” Nina smiled as her voice trailed off.