Louisa groaned as the alarm shrilled into life at eight o’clock the next morning. She had grown accustomed to waking naturally of late, a luxury only possible since giving up her job. Remembering why the alarm was set, she sprang out of bed and made for the shower. Paul’s yoga class beckoned and she suddenly felt wide awake. Minutes later, wearing joggers and a T-shirt, Louisa headed downstairs to the dining room.
‘Hi, Louisa, over here,’ Charlotte called from a table, looking immaculate in a teal blue crossover cardigan and stone-coloured yoga pants. Louisa felt like the poor relation in her baggy joggers and grey top.
‘Morning. You’re looking perky,’ Louisa said, smiling.
‘You have to make an effort, don’t you? Don’t want to look as if one has just crawled out of bed, even if one has. At least I’ll be feeling perky, as you call it, after the delicious breakfast that’s about to arrive.’
Louisa gazed appreciatively at the selection of sliced fruit, juices, homemade muesli, granola and yogurt being wheeled towards their table. The waitress went off with their order for two green teas while they helped themselves to the food.
‘These juices are incredible. The chef told me he mixes in a combination of herbs and spices with the fruit and vegetables to increase the antioxidant and energising properties. I get a real buzz from them,’ Charlotte said as she filled her glass. ‘I’m taking the recipes home so I can keep up the benefits.’
‘They’re not secret then?’
‘Nooo, not exactly. He’s writing a book based on the recipes he uses here and I’ve, er, persuaded him to let me have a peek.’
‘Oh, and why would he do that?’ Louisa asked, eyebrows raised.
Charlotte grinned. ‘I might be able to help him get his book published, that’s why. I’m a publisher.’
‘Ahh! Right.’
They concentrated on their breakfast, conscious of the time. Finished, they made their way to the large room set aside for group work, finding Paul setting out a number of yoga mats.
‘Morning, ladies. Ready for a good stretch?’ Paul greeted them as they made a beeline for the first row, just beating some other guests who had to make do with the second row.
Louisa smiled in return, her eyes travelling over Paul’s athletic body, apparent even under his loose-fitting yoga suit. He really is very attractive, she thought, tearing her gaze away to take up her position on the mat.
The session passed quickly. Paul took the ten people present gently, but firmly through stretches and yoga positions that Louisa found comfortable to follow. Throughout, soft music played in the background, encouraging the release of tension. A short guided meditation at the end nearly sent her to sleep, only brought back to full awareness by Paul sounding a tiny bell.
‘Well done, everyone. I can see the improvement in those of you who have been coming to the class this past week,’ he smiled at Charlotte and a couple of other participants. ‘If anyone wants to stay behind for the talk on Buddhism, please grab a chair and form a circle.’
Half a dozen people lined up chairs in front of a projector screen and Charlotte whispered a quick ‘See you later’ to Louisa before leaving with the others. Paul switched on a laptop for the PowerPoint presentation and as pictures of Buddha filled the screen, he started his talk.
‘According to Buddhist tradition, the Buddha, Siddhartha Gautama, lived sometime between the 6th and 4th centuries BC in eastern India, possibly Nepal…’
Louisa was fascinated. Paul delivered a punchy narrative of events, based on the little evidence remaining, even bringing some humour into the talk. When he turned to the issue of karma and reincarnation, laughter erupted when someone asked if it was true that a person could be re-born as an animal if they were “bad” in this life.
Paul nodded. ‘According to some traditions, yes. Or as lowly deities or demons. Only humans can achieve the desired state of Nirvana, and only if they have practised the highest forms of meditation. So,’ he said, smiling broadly, ‘it pays to be safe and not do anything evil or you may come back as a rat!’
Louisa smiled with the rest, but inwardly she wanted to cry as she pictured her mother, frightened to death by the ‘evil’ man. She fervently hoped that if reincarnation was a possibility, then he’d return as a rat or something equally horrible.
Fortunately for her peace of mind, the talk turned to more pleasant ideas and beliefs and she remained engrossed in what Paul had to say about the different forms of Buddhism. Once he’d answered all the questions, he ended the meeting with a reminder that the next yoga class would be the following morning at nine o’clock sharp.
As she was about to leave with the others, Paul stopped her to ask if she had enjoyed the yoga.
‘Yes I did, thanks. It was much more fun than I’d expected and so relaxing. I’ll definitely be back tomorrow,’ she said, shifting from foot to foot. She didn’t know why, but she felt like a schoolgirl in front of a teacher. Very unsettling.
‘Great! You looked like a natural and it won’t be long before you can manage the Kapotasana or Pigeon pose. I’d guess swimming’s made you more flexible than most people I see here.’ He smiled warmly and again images of the both of them in ‘flexible’ positions filled her mind. She felt a warm glow spreading up her neck to her cheeks.
‘Right, that’s good. I’ll…I’ll see you tomorrow then,’ Louisa said, beating a hasty retreat. The attraction she was beginning to feel for Paul felt wrong, somehow, although she wasn’t entirely sure why that was. He didn’t seem to be married as he lived alone, but he could have a girlfriend lurking in the background, she mused. Also, as a therapist herself, she was well aware of the client attachment that could develop between therapist and client. As she returned to her room she pondered on her own vulnerability at this time, missing her mother and still smarting from the abrupt end of her last relationship. Any good-looking man who smiled at her would be seen as manna from heaven, poised to sweep her into his arms and comfort her. I really must get a grip. Fanciful ideas about a gorgeous yoga instructor are not appropriate right now! I’m supposed to be enjoying some R & R not erotic thoughts. Time for a cold shower and a long swim.
Suitably cooled down from her shower, Louisa made her way to the pool, ready to work on her ‘flexible’ muscles once more.
The rest of the weekend passed pleasantly enough. Charlotte joined Louisa in a long cliff walk after Louisa had enjoyed her first aromatherapy massage from Lin’s soothing hands. Charlotte had received a reflexology treatment and they both floated on air along the cliff.
‘I wish I could stay here forever,’ Charlotte cried, as they felt the sun’s rays on their blissed-out bodies. The days were warming up nicely, kissing goodbye to the winter chill that had tried to hang on longer than was necessary.
‘Me too. It’s a magical place, isn’t it? Seems hard to accept this little haven is only about an hour away from London.’ Louisa spun around, taking in the sea glistening beneath her and the green open spaces behind. The towers of La Folie were the only visible sign of civilisation. ‘Have you been out exploring the island, yet?
Charlotte shook her head. ‘I was completely washed out when I arrived and didn’t want to stir further than the grounds. But I’d like to venture out a bit. Shall we go together?’
They agreed to go out for a drive on Sunday afternoon and Louisa said she’d check the best places to visit. She was glad of the chance to have company as it took her out of herself. It was too easy to become maudlin when you spent a lot of time on your own, she thought, as they walked slowly back to La Folie. The place was so big that with only about fifteen guests, you hardly ever bumped into anyone else except at mealtimes. I’ve been a hermit far too long, it’s time to join the human race again. Or at least the small contingent staying in the retreat! She would be eating dinner here for the first time that evening and she was looking forward to it. Charlotte had hardly stopped talking about how great the food was and they planned to eat together. She told Louisa that some of the guests were couples and tended to stick together; other singletons tended to form alliances to be spared the horror of eating alone. But she hadn’t felt up to pairing until Louisa arrived, she added. Louisa didn’t like to pry, but guessed that Charlotte might have been depressed
The island tour was enjoyed by both. Spring remained in situ and jackets were discarded when they explored the delights of the west and north coasts. Stopping the car along the way, they discovered sandy and rocky coves which would make great places to sunbathe come summer. And dotted around the island were various visitors’ attractions vying for their custom. Their favourite was Oatlands Village in the north, a rambling collection of buildings clustered around old brick kilns and offering shops and eateries. Guiltily, they enjoyed a lavish cream tea which Chef would have frowned on if he’d known.
‘I’ll have to join you for a lengthy swim when we get back,’ Charlotte sighed. ‘And I’d been so good since I came here. Easy when Chef only offers non-fattening menus. But it was delicious,’ she said, licking her fingers delicately.
‘Have you lost any weight?’
‘A few pounds. Chef’s a trained nutritionist and he’s drawing up an eating plan for me to take home. I’ll be able to continue the good work as long as I stay away from cream teas!’ She laughed.
‘Hey, we all need the occasional treat. And you’re a very attractive woman, Charlotte, so don’t beat yourself up over a cream tea,’ Louisa said, envying the other woman’s glossy locks and sculptured cheekbones. When Charlotte smiled she looked beautiful; but there was still an air of sadness around her.
Charlotte waved her hand. ‘Oh, that’s sweet of you to say so, but I’m pushing forty and feeling a bit over the hill.’
‘Rubbish! I’ve heard fifty’s the new thirty, so you’ve nothing to worry about yet.’ She looked at her new friend with concern. Someone’s made her feel old and unattractive. Bound to be a man…
‘My…my husband left me for the proverbial bimbo and it rocked me rather.’ Charlotte fumbled in her bag for a tissue and patted at the tears slowly running down her cheeks.
Louisa squeezed her arm. ‘I’m so very sorry. That must have been awful. Is that why you came here? To help get over it?’
‘Partly. He…he left six months ago and initially I was numb with shock. It came completely out of the blue.’ Her mouth twisted. ‘Shows how naïve I was! Apparently everyone else knew he was having an affair but didn’t feel able to tell me. I admit I was pretty well wedded to my work and didn’t spot the signs; the late nights, trips away, not much sex…’ She blew her nose before fixing a smile on her face.
‘Look, I’m sorry to have blubbed like that. I shouldn’t burden you with my problems; I’m sure you have enough of your own.’
‘Don’t be silly. I guessed something like that must have happened; you looked so sad. Has being at La Folie helped?’
Charlotte nodded. ‘Definitely. I’ve been receiving counselling from a lovely woman called Molly, as well as the physical treatments which have been a godsend.’
‘I’m seeing Molly too. Not for counselling but for hypnosis…’ Louisa saw Charlotte’s eyebrows rise in surprise and decided to share the story of her mother’s death, but not that of her new-found father. Not yet, it was too soon.
When she had finished Charlotte reached across to give her a hug.
‘You poor girl! Losing an errant husband is nothing compared to the loss of a mother. Husbands can be replaced, but not one’s mother. But I’m sure you’ll receive the very best help here, the staff are particularly dedicated. I’ve tried a few health spas in my time, but this one is in a league of its own.’ She pulled back and added, briskly, ‘Right, perhaps it’s time we made our way back. And I think a bottle of the best bubbly La Folie can provide will be in order at dinner tonight. My treat,’ she added as Louisa tried to protest. ‘We can take it up to one of our rooms afterwards and have a good piss-up. Do us both good and to hell with the diet!’
The next morning Louisa woke with a throbbing head and a throat like sandpaper. Reaching for the glass of water she’d left on the bedside table, she swallowed deeply and propped herself up on the pillows. With a wry grin she mentally replayed the previous evening’s drinking session which had finished up in her room. As the champagne flowed serenity had flown out of the window, with both women veering between hysterical giggles and morose re-telling of their stories. Swallowing a couple of paracetamol, Louisa had to concede that, in spite of the sore head, the evening had been cathartic for them both. It was if they had each given the other permission to let go without fear of judgment. She could only hope that Charlotte wouldn’t feel uncomfortable with her after baring her soul the night before. It was clear that she was used to being in control, not letting go easily. In that they were alike, she thought, padding into the shower for a quick burst of cold water before turning the temperature back to normal. She just had time to pull on her joggers and top before heading downstairs to the yoga class. Breakfast would have to wait.
She arrived with moments to spare, surprised to see an immaculate Charlotte smiling serenely at Paul as she took her place on a mat.
‘Good morning, Louisa. Glad you could make it,’ Paul greeted her, grinning. He knows! Surely it’s not common knowledge that we got blasted last night? She shot a quick look at Charlotte who winked as she indicated the vacant mat next to her own.
‘It’s okay, I only said we enjoyed a bottle of champers last night. And he said he’d have been happy to join us,’ Charlotte whispered to her as Paul moved away to welcome a newcomer. ‘How are you feeling? I noticed you missed breakfast.’
‘I’ve felt better. I’ll grab something after class. But you look great! How…’
‘Oh, I have the constitution of an ox when it comes to booze. Not even a headache. And I slept better than I have for months, so thank you. It did me good.’
Charlotte patted Louisa’s hand as they prepared for the first stretch.
By the time the class had finished, Louisa felt back to normal and ravenous. After a brief chat with Paul, who asked how she was, she shot off to the dining room. Fortunately for her, breakfast was available until the civilised time of ten thirty, and she placed her order for a double-strength café latte as she helped herself from the trolley. She finished in good time for her appointment with Molly, quickly popping upstairs to clean her teeth and slap on some make-up to cover the dark shadows.
‘Hello, Louisa, do come in,’ Molly said, as she opened the door.
Settling into the recliner, Louisa experienced some qualms. Until then she had been too busy to think about what it would be like to recall that awful day. She shivered.
‘Are you cold?’ Molly’s face creased in concern.
‘No. It’s the thought of having to dredge it all up again…’
Molly nodded. ‘Of course. But remember we’re only looking for a description of the man you saw. It probably won’t be necessary to probe deeper than that.’ Molly smiled reassuringly and Louisa took a deep breath. Come on, girl! Don’t be a wuss! She told herself firmly, not wanting to let everyone down. Especially her mother.
Molly went on to explain that once Louisa was deeply relaxed, she would direct her to return to the day concerned, asking her to describe what happened as she arrived home. Louisa nodded her understanding and, on Molly’s instructions, closed her eyes.
Some minutes later Louisa felt herself sinking down into a blissful state of relaxation, soothed by Molly’s gentle voice.
‘Now, Louisa, I want your subconscious mind to take you back to Friday 16th January 2009. It’s around half past six in the evening and you’re on the way home. I want you to tell me what’s happening.’
‘I’ve just left Angel station and I bought Mum some roses. Her favourite. I’m running a bit late and Mum’s cooking dinner so I start to hurry.’ Her voice was clear, enabling Molly to make notes.
‘Good. Have you far to go?’
‘No, only another five minutes and I’ll be there.’ A pause. ‘I’m just opening the front door and calling out to Mum when…when this man rushes towards me…down the hall…barges into me.’ Louisa shifted in her chair as images fill her mind.
‘Can you tell me anything about this man, Louisa? What he looks like, what he’s wearing.’
‘Um, he’s very thin…scruffy…about sixty. He’s wearing a dark mac…over a navy fleece…has something on it…a logo of some sort.’ She frowned in concentration. There’s something familiar about that logo. ‘I’ve got it! It’s the London Undergound logo! He must work there.’ She felt herself falling as he pushed into her. ‘I…I fall when he collides with me. He’s running off as I’m picking myself up.’
‘Okay. Do you catch another look at him before he disappears?’
Again Louisa saw a picture form in her mind. ‘Yes. Not tall…grey…lanky hair. Oh! He’s got a limp! He can’t run properly…sort of shuffle…but I’m worried about Mum…turn back into the house.’ Louisa could feel herself becoming anxious. Mum! Is she all right?
‘That’s very good, Louisa. Now, I want you to leave that time and return to the present. So I’m asking your subconscious…’ Molly continued to guide her back from that January evening, eventually asking her to open her eyes, telling her she would feel calm and relaxed.
Louisa blinked, her gaze falling on Molly’s friendly face. Her heart rate was still a bit high, but she was no longer filled with anxiety. It was over. And she had remembered things she hadn’t realised she’d seen. Perhaps now they would catch him the man who killed her mother.