Well, let’s see. There’s Gun-Gun and Leo-Peo and Margarette an’ then there’s Pepsi ’n Lejo, Frosty ’n Pucksters, and Skip. How many is that? Eight? Nine? That should be nine. You know, it’s just awful when one of them goes. The only thought you have is go get another one, you know, one just like it, so’s the others don’t get lonely, but, well, there you are again. Did I say Skipper? I did, didn’t I? I said Skip. And Pansy June? So there’s her, ’n Rags, ’n Solly. The last two are both boy cats, they come from the same litter, real little wild cats, too. An’ John? ‘Well,’ I said to him, ‘I just called Bob Wheeler and asked if you’d really been released with no probation,’ and he said, ‘Not likely.’ So then John says, ‘Who’re you gonna believe, a goddamn P.O. or your own son? Would you just give me the gall-darn keys, please?’ And I said, ‘Honey, now I know you think your wife’s driving you crazy, but if you’re feeling crazy it’s because you’re doing things that are making you crazy.’ I told him, I said, ‘That’s just the way it is. That’s the way it was with your dad, ’n that’s the way it is for you, too. So if you really want to do something about it the first thing you need to do is to just stay away from her until you get yourself together.’ Now that’s exactly what I told him.
Baby, Baby, I know you’ve been with other people, but I don’t believe it, that you truly have. I know you know what I mean. I just don’t want you to keep on going with anyone. If I was home you wouldn’t have to do that. I’m willing to let bygones be bygones. You aren’t doing you or the kids or me any good by keeping me away. I’m sorry for what I’ve done. I don’t know what you mean when you say there are ‘strange energies’ around me. Now I am really sorry, but I don’t want left-overs either. I don’t want you saying, ‘Come home,’ because you’re not making it off right with someone else, and I do know who it is. You know I do, no matter what kind of B. S. you’ve been trying to hand me. And you know me, how I am, how I never say anything and just let things go on like I’m not payin’ attention but my time comes, it comes, ’n then the fangs go in, and it’s, Adios, Motherfucker! But for now, forget that! I know I’ve done a lot of shit to you. I’ve got a lot to talk about, ’n a lot to do. And you know what I mean. Why I told you to tell me who you were with is not that I care. No. Don’t get me wrong. I do care but not who it is – just that I’d always rather have you telling me the truth, and you know I’ve always been like that. The same way we used to lie in bed and just talk, Sweetheart – you know what I mean. It’s just come down on me what I’m trying say is I just can’t wait any longer. I don’t wanna be turning over to any other woman. I wanna be turning over to you! But if not by Monday, then don’t! I mean it! Now I’m going down south for a few days to be working on a few things and to be giving you time, but by Monday I’ll be there! At the door! I can just taste you, and you know what I mean. I don’t care who you’ve gone with. They can’t do for you like I can. You know I have the real thing for you. You know you need it. If I hurt you, then that’s me. If you hurt me, then that’s you. But you know what it can be – like it was. I’ll be coming back on Monday, like I said, but no matter what, there won’t be no fighting nor leaving, not if you say. I can take what you say to me. Can you take what I say to you?
Harms might call. No need to lie. Jus’ tell him I’ve gone home sick, okay? That I’ll be back on Monday. I’ll be seeing some people. Yeah, limping around on one leg. Fucked up her knee, or somethin’. Tell him to come in then, see for himself he wants to. Shit, Luis, if they got it I’ll get it. I already told you the stupid amount. Hey, tell him you’ll sign the damn sheet and mail it in then. No, no, Jac was cool, for real. Oh, yeah, ’ol Miss Magic Body - that’s her, all right, Yeah, I’m lucky. You betcha. Hand me the slidehammer there. You got a new pad for the dent puller? No, no, the pneumatic one, that one there. ’Cause I’m dead broke. They don’t give you no mustering out pay, do they? It’s not the goddamn Army, an’ right now I’m broker than a dead dog’s dick. Like I said, I get some, you got some, ’kay? I’ll see what they got down there. That’s where I’ll have to go. They’re ol’ school Canos, jus’ like you. They’ll have it. No; no, Luis, let’s leave Eddie out of it. I’ll do this, okay? You don’t know him like I do. ’Cause I’ve known him all my life. He’s all right, he’s cool, but I’ll do it. Either I’ll do it, or I’ll turn you on to some other peeps, like righteous ones, ’kay? Listen, the P.O.’s name is Harms. That’s who ’ll be callin’. Yeah, right; Harms, Bill Harms. A mean little fuck. Jus’ tell him I’ve gone home sick, the flu...
Hey, don’t let me influence you! Why don’t you girls chew two sticks a’ gum at the same time? You ever tried that? Like one Doublemint, one Spearmint? Think about it. Sure. Hey, “Foolin’ Around And Fallin’ In Love,” man. Hey, where’d you get those great fuckin’ shoes? I love those shoes! I love thin, tiny orange straps. It makes your ankles look hot! Yeah, hot! Like in locked together around my neck, ha, ha! People love to sing in bars. All by themselves. They get, look at him, the little bald guy, all by hisself, right? Yeah, him. See what I mean? What’s he singing? “Help Me Make It Through The Night?” Ha! That’s it...
Dance? You mean like bump butts with you? Ha, ha. Sure. No...gimme your hand...
You know what I’d like t’ do, what I’d really like t’ do? Run barefoot across a big ol’ field of bare titties, all different kinds of ’em, big ones, little ones, round ones, hard ones, soft ones, pointy ones, feelin’ ’em all squishy under my toes, ’n every time I’d stumble I could fall ’n jus’ bury my face in ’em, wigglin’ it back-’n-forth, goin’, ‘Umm,’ like this... ‘Um-um-um-um... um-um-um’, ha,ha…
Pop me another soldier there, will ya, Pee Wee? What’s your favorite color? Like what you got there on your little toenails. What color is that? ‘Cherry Pie Red?’ Can you pull that up? Not all the way. Yeah, jus’ like that. Yeah. Them ’re so pretty, like li’l sweet baby cakes pretty...
Isn’t that a trip? I mean the first time I did coke: Hey, Bang, Bang, I open the door. It’s this Mex friend I’ve got, and he says, ‘Hey, Bro, I can’t make it to the party, but here’s a little blow for you,’ an’ this knife blade comes up with a little white on it, right, a li’l white dust? I snoot that, the blade goes down, ’n comes back up. I snoot that, too, ’n just immediately get the burn in the back of my throat, ’n go, ‘Man-oh-man-oh-man, I can’t deal with this shit at all!’ I’ve got my speed in there, right, all ready to go, I can deal with that, but this shit? Man, my tongue and the back of my throat’s gone all numb! So’s I walk back in and sit down in my chair, an’ all I can think is I gotta get offa this stuff, man, I gotta. ’Cause speed was nothing, right? ’Cause you could mellow it out with weed, smooth it out with some weed, but I didn’t have no kinda trip going with coke at all! None! Isn’t that a bitch?
Could you please maybe with sugar on top not call me Pee Wee, but something more cuddly, like Baby, or Panda, maybe?
Even when I was a little baby my mother never liked to hold me, she would never rock me. Now I don’t know why that is and I don’t want to know. All I know is I spent more time over at my Aunt Flo’s house than I did at my own. Now in high school I loved a girl. She was my true love, a brown-eyed blonde. I’ve longed for her all my life. We were in love and then your granddad moved us away and I couldn’t see her. I wrote her for a time, and then I met your mother. Now she was just as pretty as anyone could be, and I didn’t know bad about her. She loved me, see, and then you was born and Jill was and it all went by with you growing up and Jill growing up and then your Mom and me had our troubles and I finally got my chance to go back and see my real girl. She’d married a guy, and then another guy and had two girls of her own and it hadn’t worked out for her neither, see, and seeing her, the damnedest thing was getting that same old feeling in the gut, that same old sudden sinking twist in the gut that I’d always got whenever I saw her, and then driving back home I stopped off to see Flo, and talking with her, I was looking at her, see, and suddenly realized it’d been her all the time, it was her, Flo, Flo was my first brown-eyed blonde, see, the one who’d loved me as a little boy, my first real love, and then I knew where my strongest feeling for anyone came from, that my first girl had been my Flo for me, and why had I ever let her go? Something I regret to this day. So what I’m saying to you, if you ever find one you really love, don’t, for Christ sakes, ever let her go ’cause it don’t come around like that but once in your whole goddamned miserable life.