Chloe
I CHECKED ON PARKER AND the nanny, and took a deep breath before heading out to the patio. I quietly walked up and stood next to Collier. “How’s Parker?”
“He and Mrs. Green are asleep.” I was a lot nervous. I hadn’t been on a date in a long time that had left me excited and eager to not have it end. “I had a good time tonight. I’m glad you suggested we double date with Alex and Moses. And you were right.”
“It’s contagious, isn’t it?” He smiled.
“I have never seen them like that.” He moved in a little closer. “The way he’s always touching her, the whispering and the kissing, it’s like being on a first date with teenagers.”
“I told you.”
“At first when we bumped into them, I was a little upset, but after spending time with them, I think it took the pressure off of us.”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“I was nervous about coming this weekend, and was actually thinking about going home because I thought it was a bad idea.”
“And now?”
“Spending time with Alex and Moses helped me relax and have a good time.”
“Good.” He moved a little closer.
“Today while we were shopping, I wanted to tell her about us, but…what are we doing?”
“I thought we were getting reacquainted.”
“Is that what we’re doing?”
“Yes.”
“And what happens when you go back to New York?”
“You and Parker will come and visit.” The answers were just rolling off his tongue without hesitation.
“And?”
“I’ll come visit.”
“And how long will we be on this roller coaster of back and forth long distance dating?”
“I don’t know. I thought you wanted to take it slow.”
“I do. But, whatever I do, who ever I get involved with has to know that Parker is my priority, second to God.”
“CJ, we just found each other again. I thought…”
“I see. It’s getting late, and we’re supposed to meet Alex and Moses for breakfast.” I walked toward the door and he stopped me.
“CJ, I don’t want to hurt you by making empty promises.”
“I understand. When we get back, maybe we need to start over as friends and see what happens.”
“If that’s what you want.”
“Fine. I’ll see you in the morning. Good night.” I opened the door and ushered him out.
“Good night.” I closed the door, went out to the patio, listened to my spirit and prayed. I stood absorbing the silence, and believed I had an answer. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, scrolled through my contacts, pressed the number, and stared at the photo. I pressed the Call Button and after the third ring, he picked up.
“I know it’s late, but I need to talk to you. Please meet me in the lobby.”
I hung up, went down to the lobby and waited. I paced back and forth, rehearsing what I was going to say. I looked up and coming towards me was either my past and or my future.
“I’m sorry.” I blurted out. “I…” he crushed his lips against mine, and I almost fell backwards. He pulled me to his chest and when my body pressed up against his, it triggered a memory. I wrapped my hands around his neck and pulled him closer. The feel of his lips and tongue exploring my mouth, brought back all those memories of us in the hay loft. This is the feeling I’d been searching for.
He was the reason I hadn’t had any success with men. He was the one God reserved for me, but I was too stupid and angry with myself to realize the time wasn’t right back then.
He pulled back and I locked eyes with him. He brushed my swollen lips with the tip of his finger and smiled.
“I’m scared too,” he announced.
I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t. “What do we do now?”
“Take our time and listen to God. If it’s the plan He has for us, it will work itself out.”
I nodded. “Okay.” He took my hand and walked me back to my room. We stood silent in front of the door. He gently kissed me again before I walked inside. A few minutes later my phone rang. I recognized the number and pressed Answer Call.
“Hello.” There was that giddy schoolgirl I tried to keep buried in the dungeon.”
“Don’t worry CJ, we’ll figure it out,” Collier assured me. “Good night.”
“Good night.”
I never thought I’d be this woman. A divorced mother re-entering the dating game. I always thought, well, I don’t know what I thought. I take that back, I had a pretty good idea where I’d be in my professional life, but it’s my personal life I wasn’t too sure about.
In my fantasy, I hoped Collier and I would find each other and live the life I thought I wanted. However, that wasn’t what happened. The love of my life disappeared, I got engaged to the right wrong man, I married and got pregnant by an idiot head, and now the love of my life was back.
Collier and I have spoken every day since he left. He invited me and Parker to come for a visit, but I thought it was too soon. For a couple who agreed to take things slow, we weren’t… or maybe, this was our version of slow. Although, we could stay with Alex and Moses. I keep telling myself not to overthink this relationship, and just enjoy getting to know Collier again.
I exhaled, picked up my phone and the doorbell rang. I walked up to the door to see who had the nerve to stop by uninvited. I looked out the side window and smiled.
“You must have been reading my mind,” I hugged her. “Alex, what are you doing here?”
“Call it intuition. I sensed you wanted to talk.” She smiled.
“Really?”
“Okay, I’m nosey.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
“I’d be pissed if it weren’t the truth.” We laughed.
“Come in.” She stepped inside and I closed the door. “So what’s on your mind?”
We walked down the hall. “What’s going on with you and Collier?”
“What’s in the bag?” We continued walking out to the patio.
“This bag contains the healthiest chili cheese burgers in the city.”
“Sit down.”
We sat down. She took all the food out and placed it on the table, and I said grace.
“Don’t tell Moses about this. Otherwise, he’ll guilt me into thirty additional minutes on the treadmill in the morning.” We laughed. “This is so good.”
“Girlfriend, you aren’t the only that will be doing extra duty on the treadmill tomorrow.” I took another bite, swallowed, and looked at my friend. I hadn’t seen her this happy in, never. She was glowing. That was a combination of happiness, love and great sex.
Alex looked at me. “What? Is there something wrong with your burger?”
“No. I was just thinking, I don’t recall your ever being this happy.
She smiled. “You’re right.”
“Never?”
“No. It’s Moses. I love being married to Moses. There’s never a dull moment. He makes me laugh, we have fun, and he encourages me to step out of my comfort zone.”
“And you didn’t have that with Jonathan?”
“No.”
I was shocked by her answer. ”I knew he wasn’t very affectionate in public, but I thought, possibly in private, he was…”
“Johnathan wasn’t…There were a lot of things about him…what you saw in public…if I had married him, I would have been settling.”
“Wow. I didn’t know. I just thought his jerk personality was his public persona. No offense.”
“None taken. Jonathan was, let’s just say I’m glad I didn’t marry him. That makes me sound like a horrible person, but it’s the truth.”
“And Moses…”
Her mouth turned up into a huge smile. He understands me, and I love having a teammate. In all the years I was with Jonathan, I never had that.”
“And with Moses you do?”
“Things are very different with Moses. I love that he wants to take care of me and understands my need for independence. He’s shown me I really wasn’t living but existing. After my first marriage, I didn’t think I deserved to be treated like a queen. So I settled for a sub par relationship with Jonathan. I was scared to move forward with Moses, because he was proof that I could have more, and that more was standing in my kitchen.”
“And now?”
“I am truly, deeply in love. Being married to Moses is what I thought marriage should be. Now I sound like a silly teenager, but it’s the truth. It feels good to be with someone who isn’t looking to pick a fight over something stupid. I’m in love and married to a man who knows what it means to be in a relationship.” She popped a couple of fries into her mouth.
“Jonathan’s attitude is why none of us liked being around him. He always seemed unhappy.”
“He probably was.” She sipped her drink. “I know I shouldn’t, as my grandmother would say, speak bad of the dead, but he was a jerk. And what’s worse is, I was going to marry him.”
“That’s in the past.”
“I know. I thought we were supposed to be talking about you and Collier.” She took another bite of her hamburger.
“So, what do you want to know?”
“How does it feel to be back with your first love?”
I wiped my mouth. “It’s…Collier and I have a complicated history. Those summers I spent with Collier were some of the best times of my life. I, we did some things in the past, that…”
“I understand.” That must be how I looked when she said she had been married and had a baby.
“That’s why I was regretting having gone to Palm Springs, but I was so glad to see you. The minute we pulled out the driveway, I thought it was a bad idea. He was a gentleman, but I kept thinking it was a bad idea.”
“So you weren’t upset with me?”
“No. I was relieved. We were inseparable as teenagers. Collier is the reason my Dad put my money in trust. Not because he thought Collier wanted it, but because he knew I’d do something foolish like run off and get married. Which I ended up doing later as an adult. But when Collier kissed me, everything synced up. I immediately understood every mistake I made in every relationship was because I was searching for him. I think I’m falling in love with him.”
“I understand.”
“What do I do?”
“Have you prayed about it?”
“Yes, but…I overheard him talking to Parker.”
“Excuse me?”
“He was putting Parker down for his nap and I peeked into the nursery to make sure everything was fine. I heard him telling Parker he never got married because he’s been waiting on God to send me back to him.”
“This is bad.”
“What do you mean?”
“Girlfriend, just pack your bags and see if you can get a townhouse in our neighborhood.”
“Why?” I knew she was telling the truth. Collier was the one, and no matter how many times I tried to tell myself I needed to take it slow, it was too late.
“Because, as much as you may not want to admit it, he’s in love with you and you’re not falling in love, you’re in love.”
“Alex, my divorce is barely a year old. And that thing with Marcelo…”
“You and I both know the only good thing to come out of your marriage was Parker. And Marcelo was a nice distraction. I think you’re right not to go to New York right now. You and Collier are very excited and if left alone, you’ll probably end up doing something irrational, like get married.”
“You got married on an impulse.”
“Not really. It just seemed like that because no one knew we were dating. We’d been together six months and then he left. It took me ten months to get my act together. If I hadn’t been so stubborn, we would have been married a lot sooner.”
“But our history is a little different.”
“If that’s the case, then tell him you’re in love with him and see what happens. He’s already moving heaven and earth to be with you. Instead of being at home, he stayed here, and the last New York man I know that did that got married.”
“Oh, my God.”
“Kind of stings when reality bites you in the butt.”
“My entire world is changing.”
“I would say so. Finish your burger.”
“Alex, you don’t understand. We agreed to take it slow and see where it leads.”
“I completely understand what you’re saying. But when destiny arrives, you sort of have no other choice, but to follow it.”
“Destiny, huh…”
“Destiny.”