Raleigh was glad to be back in Chicago for the week, to have some distance between himself and Kathryn Claire McKenzie. What should he do now? He’d made a huge mistake in letting his guard down. He’d thought that getting to know her better couldn’t hurt. But the better he knew her, the more he was drawn to her.
He sank his aching head, cushioned by his arms, to his desk. Maybe banging his head on the desk would be more useful. He simply wasn’t the kind of man K. C. needed. Sure, he measured up pretty well in many respects—success, wealth, even personality, perhaps. But in what mattered to her, the spiritual department, he was a failure.
K. C. had never questioned him again about his relationship with God, but she must wonder. His lack of interest in prayer or church or anything spiritual likely made him even less appealing in her eyes. And, he admitted, he probably hadn’t started off with much of a chance, anyway.
Raleigh stood and walked to the window overlooking the lake. Normally this spot relaxed him when he felt stressed, but it didn’t work today. No point in driving out to Hartley for the weekend to see her. He’d skip this week’s progress check—his contractor knew how to reach him if there were any problems. He’d stay here and bury himself in his work, just as he should have been doing all along.
He glanced over toward Navy Pier and the boats skimming along out on the open waters. Another difference between himself and K. C. Sailing was his life; she would always be moored. Her life was inland, on a farm.
He turned away from the window, back to his desk. There was one decent thing he could do. When the project was complete, regardless of winning or losing the contest, he’d sell the house to K. C. He’d build his manor elsewhere, though he’d retain ownership of the rest of the farm. Maybe he could even go out and see her once in a while. They’d drift apart, and, thankfully, she would never know what she was beginning to mean to him. Or what he foolishly wished might have been.
All he had to do now was stick with it.
Sunday afternoon K. C. pulled into Aunt Lidia’s driveway. She’d missed Raleigh’s presence in the house this week. Even with the men hammering and banging and working to create miracles, the place was missing something. Someone. It was the contractor who told her Raleigh didn’t plan on being back for yet another week.
If it wasn’t for church and taking Aunt Lidia to the nursing home, the whole weekend would have been unbearably dreary.
As soon as Aunt Lidia had settled into the car, she looked across at K. C. “If Clara isn’t up to my visiting today, I think I’ll sit in on the church group’s singing and Bible lesson.”
K. C. turned the car onto Sixty-sixth Avenue. “We’d love that.”
Aunt Lidia patted K. C.’s hand. “I’m glad you come with me each week, but I want you to find time to be with some young people, too. You like old things too much. Even old people.”
K. C. laughed. “Old things and old people, as you put it, all have stories to tell. I think God wants us to learn from each other.”
“I do too, dear. Now,” she said, gazing at the old farmhouse as they passed, “I want to hear more about the new neighbor who has put that spark in your eye.”
“Aunt Lidia!” But K. C. couldn’t help a peek of her own through the window, hoping to spot Raleigh’s Jeep.
“I see life coming back into your eyes, dear. And that’s good.” Lidia covered K. C.’s hand. “Brian would be pleased.”
“Do you think so? I feel like I’m betraying him because I enjoy being around Raleigh.”
“Let God lead you, of course, but he gave you four good years with Brian, then took him, for whatever reason. Now perhaps he’s giving you someone else. He’s a God of love, dear. Don’t try to hamper his ways. Regardless, Raleigh needs our prayers. He’s a hurting man.”
K. C. looked at Aunt Lidia in surprise. “How did you know that?”
“Don’t forget I spent some time talking with him. It’s more from the topics he avoids than from anything he says.”
“He comes from a Christian background, but he’s bitter toward God.” K. C. bit her lip, wondering how she could help him.
“Just let him see God’s love in you, dear.”
K. C. smiled her thanks. Aunt Lidia’s words somehow gave her permission to think of Raleigh. Already he’d become an important part of her life, and she missed him. She’d gotten used to loneliness without Brian for two years, but this was different. This was missing someone living. She still honored Brian’s memory. But he was gone, having taken a piece of her heart with him. What was left, she silently acknowledged, indeed had growing feelings for Raleigh Kincaid.
K. C. drove up the hill to the farmhouse Friday morning after another week of missing Raleigh. From the outside the place was already transformed into something lovely. The back addition was up and sided, the entire house was painted a gleaming white, the yard was immaculately trimmed, and Raleigh’s sunroom windows were hung. She hoped the house would truly mean something to him by the time it was done, for it looked like a home to her. A dream home, she added sadly.
As she crested the top of the driveway, she gave a little shriek—Raleigh’s Jeep sat in the driveway.
“Raleigh!” She ran inside the house. “Raleigh!”
A painter working on the staircase looked up midstroke. “Out back.”
She hurried out onto the porch now bordered with blooming pink hollyhocks. Jumping off the step, she ran toward Raleigh as he jogged into sight from behind the barn, pulling one hand behind him when he saw her.
“I’m so glad you’re here!” She drew up short before she embraced him. “What are you hiding from me?” K. C. clasped her hands as she tore her gaze from his face to the arm behind his back.
Raleigh solemnly held out his hand, presenting her with two fuzzy pieces of fruit.
“The peaches are ready!” She took them and wiped them on her pants.
Raleigh smiled slightly. “Yeah, and you get the first ones I picked.”
K. C. bit into one. “This is a Jim Dandee. That one’s a Redhaven, which is the first out, usually around the beginning of August.”
He looked surprised. “How’d you know?”
“Remember, I was practically a farm girl during the summers. Here.” She tossed him the Redhaven. “Try it.”
Raleigh took a bite.
“Now you’re officially a fruit farmer,” K. C. teased him. “Don’t forget to add that to your credentials.”
“Even if I hire out all the work?” He looked away, sounding defeated, as if he were anything but a farmer.
“Well, sure.” What was wrong with him? He was standing in the sunlight, and she took a good look at him. His face seemed drawn, and the circles under his eyes made her worry that he’d been spending too many long hours at the office. “I’m glad you’re back,” she said softly. “I missed you.”
He didn’t answer right away, then mumbled something, not quite meeting her eyes.
K. C. again studied him. Something wasn’t right. His guarded expression confirmed it.
Sitting next to Raleigh on the South Haven beach that evening, K. C. stared out toward the lake. Though she was glad to be here with him, she was surprised he’d suggested it. All day at the house he’d been authoritative, getting involved where he wasn’t needed. He spent precious minutes remeasuring cabinets when the carpenter’s work was faultless. He told the painters they hadn’t put on enough coats of paint when the walls were beautifully rich and smooth, practically glowing in the afternoon sun. And the unfortunate electrician who installed a lone outlet the barest fraction off-center … it was a wonder he finally agreed not to quit—yet.
It couldn’t simply be stress from Restorations Today magazine sending out a staff writer and photographer for an interview. They were in the middle of a restoration, and the contest didn’t call for everything to be perfect now.
“The water is so still,” K. C. said, hoping to break through to Raleigh.
“Uh-huh.”
“There’s not a ripple on the lake, let alone in the channel.”
“Nope.”
“Raleigh …?”
He finally looked at her.
“I’ve been considering something, praying about it, and I think it’s time. Do you think we could go out on your boat?”
He sat up straight, eyes wide in surprise. “Now? There’s no wind.”
“I know, but we could motor out to just past the lighthouse, watch the sun set, and come back. I need to do this when the water’s calm.”
“K. C., you don’t need to do this for me, if that’s what you think. I understand what you’ve been through. I’d never ask you to go sailing.”
“I want to. I need to. Just this once. Maybe I won’t ever enjoy sailing again, but I need to know that I can do it. It’ll help me to”—she swallowed, keeping her resolve—“put the past behind me … and go on.”
Raleigh nodded mutely, took her hand to pull her up, and led her toward the marina.
Raleigh almost wished he hadn’t given up on praying. He could use someone to talk to right about now, other than himself. If K. C., of all people, could put the past behind her and go on, why couldn’t he? He knew the answer to that—the reason she could go on was the same reason he couldn’t. It all came back to faith. To God.
And, he concluded, doesn’t it figure that she’d choose me to help her face her fears.
Unwilling as he felt, he’d help.
“I’ll start getting things ready to cast off,” K. C. said as they stepped onboard. “Can we stop just past the end of the pier?”
“We’ll stay as close as we can without blocking the channel entrance. There aren’t many boats out tonight, so that shouldn’t be a problem.”
K. C. smiled shakily and nodded. “Okay, then, let’s get ready.”
Raleigh watched from the cabin steps as she went to work. She knew exactly what to do without being told and moved like a seasoned sailor. He joined her on deck after taking care of things below.
“Everything looks good. I’m ready to start the engine. Okay?” He almost hoped she’d change her mind.
“Ready, Captain.” She closed her eyes as if dreading the instant the key was turned.
He sighed. “Okay then.” He turned the ignition. When she flinched at the sound of the engine turning over, he ran his hands through his black hair. How could he do this? Watching her tore at his heart. She no longer took the initiative, acting without being told. She sat motionless, white-knuckled, as if she needed to be prompted toward any move.
“Can you get the fenders and cast off,” Raleigh asked, “while I steer us away from the dock?” He looked over his shoulder at her to see if she really wanted to go through with this.
She nodded and did as directed.
“Are you all right?” he checked again as they headed slowly down the channel.
He waited as she bit her lip, then nodded.
“Just let me know if you change your mind.”
Again she nodded but said nothing.
“You’re at home on a boat. You must have sailed a lot.” He wasn’t up to small talk, but he figured if he kept her talking, she wouldn’t have so much time to worry.
“Since I was a little girl. Brian’s parents owned a boat, and I went with them a lot. During the summers in Michigan, Brian, Colton, and I sailed a small Sunfish down at the cottage. After we were married, Brian bought our beautiful boat …” She turned her head as her voice trailed off, and Raleigh remained silent. He didn’t press her to go on.
As they passed the lighthouse and left the safety of the channel, reaching the entrance to the open waters of Lake Michigan, K. C. sat down.
“Not much farther, okay, Raleigh?”
“Just enough to get out of the way, and then we’ll let her drift. Do you want to take the wheel for a bit?”
Wordlessly she stepped behind the wheel to steer.
“I’m all right,” she said in answer to his questioning gaze.
Raleigh laid his hand over hers. He didn’t dare let it linger, or he’d be taking her in his arms and kissing her, assuring her that everything would be all right. He quickly removed his hand before it was too late, before he ended up telling her things he knew couldn’t be true.
In silence they watched the red sun dip quietly into the water.
“I did it, Raleigh,” K. C. whispered, wiping the tears that had slipped along her cheeks.
Raleigh watched in awe as she lifted her face to the sky. “Thank you, Lord,” she breathed.
He looked away, feeling like an intruder.
“Are you ready to go back?” he asked after a moment.
She nodded, tears still glistening on her cheeks, her eyes clear and wonder-filled.
Silently they motored back through the channel, and Raleigh maneuvered into his slip.
They stepped onto the wooden dock. “Thank you, Raleigh.” Her shining eyes spoke of something he couldn’t begin to comprehend, and her expression left him breathless. How he longed to take her into his arms, to ask her to help him find the same peace he’d seen on her face.
She tilted her head, and Raleigh took a step toward her.
“Anytime.” He clasped her arm a moment, picked up her sailing bag, and walked her to her car.
Over the next couple of weeks, K. C. continued to wonder about Raleigh. He still came out to the farm on Fridays to confer with his workers and check on their progress, but something was troubling him, and she was pretty sure she was involved.
Lord, be near to him, was her daily prayer.
One Friday evening as she was out on her patio reading her grandmother’s Bible, she looked up at the sound of footsteps.
“Raleigh!” She stood, placing the Bible on a small table.
He frowned at the book. “Did I interrupt something?”
She followed his gaze. “It’s my grandmother’s Bible. I like to sit here, looking out at the water, when I read it. She marked so many verses, sometimes I just thumb through to see what was important to her. And it always speaks to me, too.”
His glance took in the open pages. “I learned Psalm 23 when I was a kid,” he mumbled, looking away from her.
“Those are the verses that helped me the most when Brian died,” K. C. said softly. “They were my comfort.” Please let them be Raleigh’s comfort too.
Raleigh shifted, looking uncomfortable. “I came to tell you I’m leaving for Wisconsin tonight. I have a couple of on-site jobs that will keep me away for a few weeks.”
Deep disappointment bore down on her. “Well,” she sighed, trying to be lighthearted, “that’s what you get for being so good at your job.” She took a step closer to Raleigh, longing for him to stretch his arms around her in a good-bye hug.
“Yeah.” He turned and walked away, leaving K. C. baffled. Had she been so wrong? Never had she imagined that the man she wanted to open her heart to would be unable to open his.
Three weeks. This was the longest Raleigh had been away, and now the calendar had flipped over, with the days edging along well into September. If he didn’t come soon, he’d miss standing in his sunroom with beautiful fall colors filling the windows.
K. C. and the crew worked long, hard hours, drawing the restoration to a close ahead of schedule. She knew the contractor had assured him all was on track, but why didn’t he want to see for himself? This was the house they’d dreamed of, had drawn all the plans for. Didn’t it mean anything more to him than just a contest?
When she pulled up for work on Friday morning, the green Jeep was back in the driveway. Raleigh stepped off the back porch and strode toward her with a cordial nod.
“Raleigh.” She was guarded, surprised.
For a moment neither one spoke.
“Have you been inside yet?” She tried to fill the awkwardness between them.
“No, I just got here a few minutes ago. Went straight to the orchards to talk with my contract farmer.” He rubbed a peach against his pants then tossed the fruit to her. “It’s a Redskin, one of the last varieties of the season.”
“I see you’re learning your crops.” She took a bite, glad that Raleigh was at least aware of what he had growing.
“Yeah, well,” he shrugged, “that’s what Mr. Harley told me.”
“You’ll be surprised at the work the men accomplished while you were gone.” They stepped up onto the porch. “Other than a few minor details, the restoration is finished. The furniture just arrived this week, along with a few antique pieces you might be interested in.” She grinned. “It’s ready for you to move in.”
“Finished?” He stared at her. How could it be? His contractor had given no indication they were this close when he’d asked for a status report.
“Your men are great. We worked day and night to finish ahead of schedule.” She looked at him curiously. “Aren’t you surprised?”
“I’m surprised, all right.” He knew he sounded exactly as he felt—downright shocked and, yes, disappointed. “How’d you get them to work overtime?”
“Out of love, basically.”
“Love!” He threw his hands up at the answer. “What do you mean by that?”
She took a step back, looking bewildered. “Well, love for their work, of course, and for the vision they caught and for you as their boss. Isn’t this what you wanted?”
No! he wanted to shout. How could they do this to him? He’d planned on a few more weeks to work with her before the contest ended, before he offered her the house, before he said good-bye to K. C. He wanted to dream a little longer about holding her in his arms, feeling her closeness, looking into her eyes.
“I’m sorry.” K. C. broke the strained silence between them. She looked close to tears. “We were only trying to please you, to help you win your contest.” She started to back away.
“The contest?” Raleigh reached for her hand, attempting to stop her.
K. C. jerked her fingers free from his, her face red. “I’ll admit it, Raleigh Kincaid. I care for you. But since caring means so little to you, then …” Her voice trailed off as she took a step off the porch. She moved past the hollyhocks, then turned again to face him. “My prayer was that you’d see God’s faithfulness, whether you ever cared for me or not.” She brushed a hand across her eyes. “There’s just one more thing …”
He stood speechless, waiting.
“Since I won’t be here in the spring to remind you, don’t forget to order lilac bushes to plant beneath the sunroom windows. Purple lilacs.”
She turned and strode down the driveway, a crunch of gravel sounding with each step. She didn’t even turn around to see if he still stood there.