The woods were so quiet it was almost eerie. Cora leaned her back against a tree, her head was down, her eyes shut. She took slow deep breaths. The memories of her childhood were right beneath her eyelids now. The path where she stood was devoid of growth, the result of almost a century of foot traffic. It ran straight through the thickest part of the woods, then forked. The left path, now mostly overgrown, ended at the iron gates of the cemetery. The right trail continued through the woods to what was once a swimming hole.
The air smelled like pine. Pine and old leaves. Cora ran her finger tips over the trunk and tried to concentrate. She’d come here for a purpose. There was no time for the past to fill her mind so completely that she couldn’t finish what needed to be done. She saw a shadow out of the corner of her eye. Just a shadow and hint of someone moving away from her. Her head whipped to the side, her eyes wide open. The path was empty. Nothing.
The sun broke through the tree branches and created a pattern of light across the soft earth. Her mind flashed to one summer morning almost sixty years before when she had walked this very path with her mother. The woman had carried a basket in one hand and clasped Cora’s fingers with the other. They were headed to the small swimming hole fed by a creek deep in the woods. She’d planned a picnic and let Cora help to make cheese sandwiches earlier that morning. They spread a blanket in a nice spot and put the food out on napkins. Cheese sandwiches and fruit.
The woman’s stomach was swollen with pregnancy; her movements slow and clumsy. They sat for hours and listened to the sounds of the water and the birds. They talked about the baby in her belly. Her mother told her the baby was coming into the world soon and she would have a little brother or sister. The details of that conversation had faded with time. She still remembered the feeling, though. Contentment, happiness, peace.
They sat by the water and watched for frogs. When Cora saw one, she ran wildly in pursuit. Cora’s mother laughed at her antics. That was the only time she could remember her mother laughing. The woman sat on a large rock, her blue dress pulled up just a little, her head tilted back. A deep throaty ruffle of a laugh came from the small frame. They cherished those few hours together that morning.
These memories, so real, confused Cora, disoriented her. She opened her eyes, uncertain of her surroundings, like waking from a vivid dream. She pushed off the tree trunk where she’d been leaning and rushed down the path. Determined to get to the swimming hole before it was too late. If she could get to the swimming hole, maybe she could stop what was about to happen. Cora saw movement in front of her, a rustle of leaves as someone moved through. The hint of footsteps on pine needles. But the quicker she chased those sounds down the path, the fainter they became.
She reached the creek and stopped abruptly, half of her shoe sinking into the mud at the water’s edge. The sides of the swimming hole had been banked up long ago. Only a few reminders of days gone by remained. The large rock where her mother had sat that day, the remnants of the rope swing hanging from a tree limb far above. Cora heard her father’s voice in her ears. He was calling for her mother. He was angry.
“No, mother, get up, now. Run,” Cora stood by the creek, calling out to images in her mind.
Her heart pounded in her chest. Her father was long dead. But Cora saw him coming through the trees. He walked right past where she stood.
“Get Cora and get out of here, now. Mother, please.” She cried. She sunk down to the ground and began to cry. “Don’t let this happen again. Not again.”
She ducked her head down and covered it with her arms. She knew what happened next, every word, every movement. She’d relived it in her head forever.
“It won’t happen again, Edward, I promise. It was just one time.” her mother said. She was crying. She had done the unthinkable. She’d ventured out of those gates earlier, unaccompanied, without permission.
He grabbed at her and took a fistful of her hair. “You disobeyed me. You made a fool of me in front of the help.”
He hit her. She saw him hit her. He slapped her face and hit her about her pregnant body. Then he let her go, or he pushed her, Cora wasn’t sure. The woman fell face down into the dirt and didn’t move. Little four year old Cora ran. She ran and ran. The screams had faded when she moved away and she just wanted it to stop. She’d climbed the fence and hid under the Cooper’s front porch for what seemed like days. Her whole body had been shaking.
When an eternity had passed she went back to the swimming hole. The basket and blanket were still there. Everyone was gone. Something bad was happening, little Cora knew. She sat on the blanket and hugged her knees. She ate part of a sandwich that was left over and pretended that her mother was still there with her. Cora would talk to her and then answer for her. She pretended that she was with her until it was so dark she couldn’t see in front of her. Then she packed everything up and went home. She let herself in through the side doors to hear the sounds of her mother’s screams filling the house. The beginnings of her labor.
That swell in her mother’s stomach was to be another child for Cora to play with, a friend to share her burden. How could she have known that that child, her brother, would be dead only days later? And her mother too.
Cora allowed herself to feel every moment of those memories, then she opened her eyes. There was nothing. Just a creek now. She felt light headed. Her heart jumped up and down. She slumped forward a little to try and catch her breath. She had to focus on what was important. Her mother and father were both long dead. She wasn’t four years old anymore. She had to get to the cemetery and clear the spot for Nick’s body. She had to make sure he’d be happy here when he finally arrived. Retracing her steps she found the gate of the cemetery.
The fence was made of stone with a wrought iron gate, locked tight. Cora had a key and had refused to use it since the day they lowered her father’s rotting carcass into the ground so long ago. She hesitated and took a deep breath. The key fit into the old lock and turned without resistance. She pushed the worn gate open and looked around. Grass had grown up almost knee high. Ink Berry trees spread out across one side, stretching and filling an empty corner, the branches creating havoc in the small space.
She allowed herself only a brief glance towards that headstone in the far corner that peeked out above weeds. She didn’t want to see her father’s grave; to be so close to him. Her legs refused to move forward. She was rooted near the gate, terror filling her body. She tried to ignore it. She had to care about one thing now. Nick was coming home. The spot where she would put his body was as far away from her mother and father as possible
It was clear on the other side of the cemetery, shaded by the branches of a large oak that grew outside the walls. Cora knew someday they could be there together, at peace, forever. They deserved that. She dropped to her knees and started clearing the weeds.