Chapter Thirty-eight
When Deborah heard the knock on her front door, she had to calm the butterflies in her stomach. She’d been expecting her guest, but was still nervous all the same.
She exhaled and looked down at her son. “Well, here it goes, kid.” She then went and opened the front door. “Mom, thanks for coming over,” Deborah said after opening the door.
“Thanks for calling me up and inviting me,” Mrs. Lewis said. “I’ve missed you. I wanted to call you up and talk to you.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
“Nah, I knew things had to be on your timing. I didn’t want to push. I want a good relationship with you, Deborah, I really do. I don’t want to force it on you, though. When I push, it doesn’t seem to do anything but push you away. We were far enough apart as it was.”
“I agree, and I don’t want us to get any further apart than we are now. If this right here is all I’ll ever get, then I’ll take it. Just don’t want to get any further,” Deborah said and then continued. “And we won’t, Mom. I promise.”
Deborah hugged her mother and whispered, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She pulled away from her mother and looked at her. “I’m sorry that I’ve waited this long to tell you that I’m sorry and really meant it, and I’m sorry that I never accepted your apology, truly accepted it, until now. Mom, I forgive you. Being mad and holding a grudge about my childhood has done nothing but imprison me. It’s like poison, while at the same time it’s also like a security blanket.” Deborah got teary-eyed. “I feel like if I don’t have this pain to hold on to, then what else is there? Being angry and holding a grudge is like that old Buddhist saying, drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
“I know, baby. I know.” Mrs. Lewis pulled Deborah in for a hug. “Let’s just look toward the future. Please, for once and for all, let’s not concentrate on who we used to be, but who we know God called us to be.”
Deborah pulled away from her mother. “Whhattt, you preaching? Oh, Lord, God must be in the midst of this reconciliation. Now that I think about it, here lately, you’ve been doing a lot of talk about God and praying.”
“If it took all this to bring me to a better understanding of who God is and who I am, then so be it. Guess it’s all been a blessing in disguise.”
“I guess it has.” Deborah smiled.
Both women laughed and hugged.
“Ganny Ban Banny,” they each heard a little voice say. Both women looked to see Deborah’s son charging at them.
“What took you so long to come see about me?” Mrs. Lewis asked, scooping her grandson up off the ground. “Give me some sugar.”
Upon request, Deborah’s son poked out his lips and leaned in toward his grandmother. The kiss grandmother and grandchild shared belonged on a greeting card. At that moment, Deborah honestly no longer cared how her mother had treated her growing up. The way she was now treating her son made up for it. Deborah could see that her mother was sincerely treating her son the way she probably wished she had treated Deborah.
“Thank you, Mom,” Deborah said. “I know I’ve told you a million times that you weren’t the best mother to me, and I know that probably hurt you. But I hope what I’m about to say can serve as some type of healing balm.” Deborah continued, “You are the best grandmother my son could ever have. And if I died tomorrow, I’d be resting perfectly in my grave because in my heart, I know you would probably be a better mother to him than I ever could have been.” Deborah burst out crying.
“Don’t say that, baby,” Mrs. Lewis said. “You’re not a bad mother.”
“And I sure as heck ain’t a good one. That’s obvious, otherwise, someone wouldn’t have called Children Services on me.”
“Speaking of which, did you ever find out who, in fact, did call Children Services?” Deborah’s mother asked. “Because I promise, baby, I would never go behind your back and do something like that and not own up to it.”
“I know, Mom. I know you wouldn’t,” Deborah told her. “I think I have an idea of who did it though. I mean, she says she didn’t. But I still think she did.” Even though Helen pretended not to know anything about Deborah being reported to Children Services, Deborah didn’t 100 percent believe her. Sure, Helen had jeopardized her own future by taking the rap for the fight at Family Café. Deborah felt it was guilt that had moved Helen to do something like that for her. She figured that Helen felt so guilty about reporting Deborah that taking the fall for her was her way of making up for it. That made sense to Deborah, even though there were still a lot of other things that didn’t. But Deborah was willing to forget about it all and just let it go. She was tired of holding on to mess . . . to poison. And she was darn sure tired of drinking it.
“Well, just know that I’m here to support you no matter what,” Mrs. Lewis told her daughter.
“Thanks, Mom. Lord knows I’m going to need your help and anyone else’s God sends me.”
Just then Deborah’s doorbell rang. She got up and opened the door. Standing on her doorstep was someone she hadn’t expected. She was absolutely surprised. But something told her that God wasn’t surprised at all. As a matter of fact, He’d probably hand delivered her guest to her doorstep.
“So we meet again,” Mrs. Lewis said to her daughter’s unexpected guest.
“And it’s so good to see you again, Mrs. Lewis. As much as I adore your daughter, I haven’t had the pleasure of really getting to know you. ”
“True, but I hear all kinds of good things about you,” Mrs. Lewis complimented the guest. “So the three of us will definitely have to get together and have lunch or something. Anybody who has played as big a role in my Deb’s life as you have is somebody I might want to take the opportunity to have in mine.”
“Well, thank you. The next time I’m in Malvonia, we’ll have to make that happen.” She turned and glared at Deborah. “But this time I’m only here for a spell. And something tells me I’m going to need every minute I have to take care of why I’m here.”
“Speaking of which . . .” Deborah finally joined in on the conversation. “Exactly what is it that brings you to this neck of the woods?”
“Oh, you know me,” Mother Doreen replied to her prodigy. “When God gives me an assignment, I don’t ask too many questions. I just up and go.”
Deborah shot Mother Doreen a knowing look. “Pastor called you, didn’t she?”
“Yes, perhaps she did,” Mother Doreen said and then leaned in with a serious look on her face and whispered, “But, child, when are you going to realize that God called me first?”
Deborah smiled nervously, unable to detect if Mother Doreen was friend or foe. Was she more help sent from God? Or was she here to perform a verbal exorcism on Deborah? Only time would tell.