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I WOKE UP WITH A MILD headache. I knew it would take care of itself in a little while. I rubbed my eyes and rolled over. Kya and I had passed out on the floor in Nia’s room. The alcohol had done its trick. It was a nice numbing that I needed. But now it was morning, and it was time to face reality.
“Trying to think of another excuse not to go home?” Kya said.
I smirked. “Maybe.”
“Are you afraid of what they will say?”
“Of course I am.”
“I think you are worried about nothing. None of those men wants to leave you. You are in their hearts and souls.”
“I hope so. Let me clarify, I hope so if it is what is best for them. I don’t want them to be miserable and try to hide it from me. I don’t think they will ever do or say anything that might disappoint me.”
“We’ll go with you,” Nia said from her bed. “For moral support.”
“I’m not sure they will like that.”
“We’ll give you privacy, but we will be nearby if you need us.”
That did sound appealing. “You guys would do that?”
“Absolutely,” Kya said. “I don’t think you will need it, but we will be there. You can draw from our strength. It will give you a boost of confidence. It won’t be you against them. It will be us with you.”
“I would love that. Thank you. I promise I won’t talk about any of the gory details within earshot of you guys.”
“Hey, I don’t mind,” Nia said with a laugh. “My curiosity is beyond piqued.”
“Let’s go and get this over with. They are probably on their way here already. Or maybe waiting outside for us.”
“For you,” Kya corrected.
We all got up and after cleaning up a bit, we headed for home. I wasn’t surprised to run into Radolf and Berrion coming up the road. Radolf looked at me. “You’re okay?”
“I’m fine. We need to talk. All of us.”
He looked at Kya and Nia. “Council business?”
“Somewhat. They’ll wait upstairs while we talk.”
He nodded. “Fine.”
I sensed his tension. He wasn’t happy with me. I knew it was because of my abrupt departure and then staying out all night. We all walked back in silence. When we got to the house, Kya and Nia went upstairs while the guys found seats in the living room. I sat down and looked at them.
“What’s going on?” Sky asked. “I can feel your discomfort. Concern. Worry. Did something happen?”
“No, nothing happened. This is something I’ve wanted to talk to you guys about for some time, but I’ve never gotten the nerve to do it.”
I wasn’t sure if it was my worry reflecting back at me or if they were now worried. “Just say what’s on your mind,” Sky said.
“I have to tell you guys something. It’s important we say it now. We need to get everything out in the open. I’m afraid we are going to run into some serious problems if I don’t say this.”
Berrion looked the most worried. “If this is about—”
“It’s not about that,” I said, cutting him off before he could blame the talk on the Kya situation.
“Then what is it about?” Hawk asked.
“This is about me and what I feel for each of you. I love you all. I love each of you individually. I love you for the men you are. Unfortunately, I’m not sure that is enough. I don’t know if I can love you all enough.”
“You’re doing fine,” Sky said.
“No, I don’t think I am. I’m not because I love each of you in different ways. We’ve never talked about how we felt for one another or how this works for us in the long run. I don’t know about all of you, but this is a new thing for me. I’ve never had any exposure to this kind of thing. I don’t know how it works. I was never told this was even possible. I am worried that I’m going to make a huge mistake.”
“What are you talking about?” Radolf asked. “You’re beating around the bush. Just say what’s on your mind. None of us is going to be upset.”
“I’m talking about us! All of us. I feel like I can’t talk about certain things.”
“Certain things?” Sky asked with a quirk of his lips. “Like sex? You can’t talk about sex?”
“Not all the sex. Come on, guys. You know I’ve had sex with all of you. I don’t want it to become a problem for anyone. I don’t want it to be the cause of jealousy. I don’t want fights or hurt feelings. If we keep going the way we have been, someone is going to end up with hurt feelings. I don’t want that to happen. I can’t stand the thought of losing one of you. It’s all or none for me. I know how unfair that is. I know what I’m asking of you all.”
There was a silence in the room that did not bode well for me. “This is what you’ve been upset about?” Sky asked.
I slowly nodded. “Yes.”
I waited for one of them to say something. I wanted them to tell me it was all going to be okay. I wanted them to say they were cool with the way things were. Unfortunately, no one was talking, which made me think they were not okay with things.
I felt the pressure. I felt my world caving in. I looked up and saw Nia and Kya coming downstairs. They must have heard my silent pleas for help. Before any of us could say or do anything, there was a knock on the door.
I groaned. “Perfect timing.”
“Should we answer it?” Berrion asked when no one made a move.
“I’ll do it.”
I was kind of happy for the break in the tension. When I opened the door, I was struck by confusion. I wrinkled my nose and looked at the woman standing at my door. It couldn’t be. I shook my head, trying to clear my vision and my head. “Mom?” I whispered.
The woman stared at me. She looked pretty much the same as she had the day she walked out the door she was now standing at. Kya was behind me. “Mom?” she said with just as much surprise in her voice as I felt.
“Hi,” she said.
Hawk and Sky were beside me in seconds. “Who are you?” Sky asked.
“My name is Winter,” she answered. She held her chin high. “I’m Azalea’s mother. And Kiyiya’s mother.”
“Who?” Berrion asked.
“Me,” Kya answered. “No one calls me that. I’m Kya, Mom. You know that.”
I held up a hand. “Can we save the name thing for later? I’d like to know what the hell you are doing here.”
“I’m your mother, and I wanted to see you.”
I was furious with her, but seeing her made me remember how much I loved her. “Mom?” I said again with my heart in my throat.
She smiled at me. “Oh, Azalea, you’re beautiful.”
I walked into her arms and accepted her hug. I couldn’t believe I was actually being hugged by my mother. I never in a million years expected to be in her arms again. I had certainly hoped, but I didn’t think it was possible. It felt too good to question in the moment.
I felt tears streaming down my face. She stepped away, brushing her hand over my hair before touching my cheek. “I’ve missed you.”
“I don’t understand why you are here,” I said. “I have a hundred questions.”
“I know you do,” she said with a gentle smile.
“Can you stay for a while?” I asked.
“I’d like to.”
I grabbed her hand. “Come in, please.”
The guys stood, taking positions around the room that made them look like they were on the offense. “Thank you,” she said and took a seat.
I stared at her. She had the same long blond hair that was closer to white than golden. There were streaks of gray in her hair. They had always been there. It was part of who she was, just like the pale blue eyes.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“I wanted to see you.”
“It was her in the forest,” Sky said. “I recognize the scent.”
In any other world, telling a woman she stunk would not go over well. “It was me,” she said. “I’ve been watching from afar.”
“Why?” I asked. “Why now? Because Kya is here?”
“I’ve been watching for a long time. I watched you and Kya. I saw the two of you together, and I was jealous. I wanted to have that same reunion with you.”
“You’ve been watching?” I asked.
“Always,” she said with a smile. “I’ve watched you from afar for a long time.”
“I don’t understand why you’ve stayed away.”
“It’s a long story, Azalea. I made some mistakes. I would like a chance to explain things. I want to get to know you again.”
I stared at her with a combination of emotions. I didn’t understand how she thought she could just waltz into my life and pretend nothing happened. I was pissed at her and pissed at the time we’d lost. The relationship we’d never gotten to have.
“Azalea, we need to talk,” Hawk said. He stepped forward and put a hand on my shoulder.
He was trying to tell me to pull back. He was advising me against believing her. “I don’t understand why you think you can walk back in here without an explanation.”
“I know I owe you an explanation, and I’m prepared to give it. There is a lot I would like to talk about with you. I’m asking you to give me a chance.”
I looked at Kya. “Did you know about this?”
“No!” she said. She was shaking her head. “I had no idea. You told me you were leaving!”
“I couldn’t leave you.”
That hurt. That was a knife to the heart. “Good to see you’ve changed in that respect. You had no problem leaving me.”
There was a heavy silence in the room. “Azalea, you don’t have to do anything you are not comfortable with,” Nia said.
I appreciated her support. “I don’t think it’s up to me,” I said. “I took in Kya, but it came at a cost. The pack may not be interested in letting you come back.”
“I don’t care about the pack. I care about you.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Do you?”
“I do. Please, I’m asking you to let me explain. I want to have a relationship with you. We have a difficult past, but we can heal. We can move forward. It’s not too late to try and mend our relationship.”
I looked at Nia and then Kya. I could tell they wanted me to give her a chance. Not for her sake, but mine. I knew without a doubt I would regret it if I made her leave. “I’m not sure how this works,” I finally said.
“There aren’t any rules,” my mother said. “This is me asking you to give me a chance. I expect nothing, but I am hopeful you will be open to trying to be friends at least.”
“I’m the alpha of the pack you walked out on. The former alpha you walked out on. People were not happy with you then; I can’t imagine they are going to want you around then.”
“I understand I burned a lot of bridges. I want to try and fix those bridges.”
“Why don’t you go out back and give Azalea a few minutes to think this over?” Hawk said. I was grateful he was there to take control. I was in shock. I had a million thoughts running through my head, and I was having trouble putting them into a coherent order.
“Come on, Mom, I’ll show you—” Kya started and then stopped. “I guess you know where it is.”
They left the room, leaving me with Nia and my council. Nia knelt beside me, her hand resting on my knee. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know. I can’t believe she is here.”
“It’s a shocker, that’s for sure. Don’t feel pressured to do anything.”
“We’ll get her out of here,” Radolf said. “You don’t need to deal with her.”
“She’s my mom,” I said.
“Yes, she is,” Nia said. “You love your mom. I think you know what you want to do.”
I slowly nodded. “I do. I want to talk to her. I want to know why.”
“We’ll do some changeups in the house,” Ares said. “I’ll bunk with one of the guys. She can stay with Kya in my room.”
“Thank you, guys,” I said. “I know we have a bit of a revolving door going on. I promise, I don’t have any more family members. At least I don’t think so. Hell, never mind. I might have an entire herd of siblings waiting to come by.”
“We’ll handle them all,” Hawk said and squeezed my shoulder. “Take a minute and then you can talk to her. We’ll give you some time alone.”
I looked up at him, staring into his dark eyes. “Thank you.”
He nodded once, and they all scattered, leaving me alone with Nia.
“Are you ready for this?” she asked.
“No.”
She laughed. “If this is another ploy to get out of this talk with your guys, it is good, but it doesn’t make the issue go away.”
“I know, I know. Another day.”
“At least you got it out there. It will give them some time to mull over their answers. It could actually be very good timing.”
“I hope so,” I said. I got to my feet and took a deep breath. “Here goes nothing.”
