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I JERKED AWAKE. THERE was something happening. I barely had time to throw on my robe when my door was thrown open. Hawk was standing there with a wild look in his eye. He’d been asleep judging by the state of undress, and his hair was a little wild.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” I was on alert, ready to attack whoever it was that made him look like that.
“You’re here,” Hawk said with apparent relief. “Fuck. You’re here.”
“Yes, I’m here. Why? Where would I be?”
“Get dressed,” he ordered. “We need to talk, and this will be far more productive if you are wearing clothes.”
I raised an eyebrow. “That sounds serious.”
“We’ll be downstairs,” Ares said. “Radolf is going to be at your door and Berrion is in back standing below your window. Don’t do anything stupid.”
They both left the room. I looked around, wondering what day it was. I felt like I’d slept through something big. I just wasn’t sure what that something was. I went into the bathroom and took a speed shower. If they had a problem with that, too bad. I needed a shower after last night. My body was still humming after the multiple orgasms.
I pulled my hair into a messy bun before throwing on some clothes and stepping out of my room. As promised, Radolf was standing in the hallway. His arms were folded across his chest as he glowered at me.
“Gee, good morning to you too,” I mumbled.
“Everyone is downstairs.”
“I gathered that. Will I be allowed coffee before I go on trial for something I didn’t do? I hope you all realize you fucked me into oblivion last night. I didn’t go anywhere.”
“None of us fucked you,” he shot back. “You were given pleasure. There was no fucking.”
He was in a hell of a mood. “If you wanted to get off, I was more than willing. All you had to do was ask. Don’t get pissed at me because you’ve got blue balls.”
“That is not what this is about.”
Nia and Kya were sitting together on the couch. Clearly something big had happened in the ten hours since I had passed out. Immediately, my mind went to Winter. Then the pack. There were too many possibilities to try and guess what had happened. I was handed a cup of coffee from Sky and told to sit down. Sky crowded beside me with Kya and Nia on the other side. I felt a little squished, but I didn’t dare complain. Something had them worked up, and I was more than anxious to hear it.
“You’re here early,” I commented to Nia.
“I don’t think I had a choice,” she murmured. “I’m lucky they let me put shoes on.”
“They dragged you out of bed?” I asked with surprise.
“Me too,” Kya said with a big yawn.
“We know what you are going to do,” Hawk said, effectively cutting off the conversation with the girls.
I tried to keep my expression blank. “What? What I’m going to do? You are going to have to be a little clearer than that.”
“I had another vision, and it was much clearer this time. In fact, it was plain as day. I told them all. We all know what you are going to do and what happens when you do.”
“Hawk, I’m half-asleep. I’m going to need you to speak in plain English. Stop running around in circles and spit it out.”
“I saw you turn yourself over to Decker and then he killed you. I saw you die. Again. I saw it, Azalea. Do you know what that is like? Do you know how horrible it is to see you die?”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t control your visions.”
“Your mother saw it too,” he said. “Your mother had to watch you die at the hands of Decker because you made a decision without talking to any of us.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked again. I was playing dumb. I didn’t think they were buying it, but I had to try. I knew Hawk’s visions never told the full picture. They couldn’t possibly know what I had planned.
“That little meeting you had under the tree with Decker,” Radolf said. “You agreed to turn yourself over to him, didn’t you?”
I didn’t want to directly lie. “I attempted to work out a deal.”
“That’s what you were doing yesterday,” Nia gasped. “My mom told me you stopped by. Others told me you stopped and talked to just about everyone. Were you saying goodbye? Was that you tying up loose ends?”
I shrugged. “I just wanted to make sure everyone knew how much I loved and appreciated each of them.”
“And us?” Berrion asked. “Your little speed dating thing. That was you trying to make this okay?”
There was no point in denying it. They weren’t going to believe me anyway. “I wanted to spend time with each of you.”
“Two fucking hours was supposed to be enough to make this better?” Radolf said.
“Saying goodbye,” Berrion muttered. “I should have known better. There was no real reason for you to hang out with us and do nothing. I should have guessed you were up to something.”
“Hey, no, you shouldn’t have. There was nothing wrong with us having some time together. It was good. It was what I wanted. I didn’t see any of you complaining.”
“We didn’t know you were going to leave us,” he said.
“Why would you ever think this was a good idea?” Hawk asked.
I shrugged. “I was trying to keep everyone else safe. You saw the guns. He will slaughter us. Everyone. I can’t watch my people be brutally murdered.”
“We are far stronger than that,” Ares said. “We’ll take him out.”
“And then his little zombies will take everyone else out.”
“You give us no credit,” Ares said. “We aren’t a bunch of idiots. I was chosen to be a part of this council because I am damn good at war. I’m practically invincible. I am not a shrinking violet that runs at the first sign of danger.”
“I never said you were. I don’t think that.”
“You were actually going to surrender to him?” Nia asked.
“Yes.”
“What did he say he would do to you when you surrendered?” Kya asked.
I licked my lips. “Well, he doesn’t want me in his bed.”
“He wants you dead,” Hawk said. “He killed you. I watched him kill you. Not once, but twice I’ve witnessed it. I will not watch it again.”
“I’m sorry, Hawk. If there was any way I could have prevented you from seeing that I would have.”
In the back of my mind, I wanted to ask him the details. Knowledge was power. If I knew what he planned, I could prevent it. I didn’t dare ask. I didn’t want him to have to relive the vision.
“You can’t do it,” Kya said. “You cannot surrender to him. He will kill you. Why do you think this is a good idea?”
“He gave me his word he will not hurt anyone else if I go willingly.”
Ares snorted. “Sure, he won’t. Do you think he’s just going to leave us all alone when you are dead? You cannot be that naïve.”
“He will demand to be the alpha of the pack,” I said.
“Azalea!” Nia exclaimed. “That is not an option!”
“He will let those who don’t want to live under his rule go.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Radolf growled. “You cannot tell me you actually believe that shit?”
I did feel a little foolish. “If there was a chance I could save even half of the pack, I had to do it. Mrs. Lincoln, your parents, Nia, so many others could walk away. I know it isn’t ideal, but if they could live, that is better than the alternative.”
“Where is Mrs. Lincoln supposed to go?” Nia asked. “She can barely walk. Is she supposed to live in the forest?”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I just wanted to do something that would keep everyone safe.”
“This isn’t an option,” Ares said. “We find another way.”
“Guys, I already made the deal.”
“Fuck the deal,” Ares snapped. “It’s not happening. One or all of us will sit on you all damn day and night if we have to. This is not an option.”
They were never going to let me out of their sight. “Fine,” I said.
“What does that mean?” Nia asked.
“I won’t do it.”
“Yeah, we believe you,” Berrion grumbled. “Just like last time and the time before that and I might be mistaken, but I think there was a time before that.”
“You guys have to know I was doing it for all of you. I don’t want anyone to be killed. Don’t you understand that I can’t live with that on my conscience? As the alpha, I am supposed to make this kind of sacrifice if it means I can save a life.”
“You are our alpha and I am not about to let you do this,” Hawk said. “We aren’t your average council. We will kill a man. We will kill anyone that screws with you. You don’t have to make sacrifices.”
“Hawk, you say you don’t want to watch me die, well, I don’t want to watch you die. None of you. I just can’t do it.”
“Then we don’t die,” Sky said.
If only that was such an easy option. We all knew it was unlikely. “So what do we do? He’ll come for us tomorrow. He might not wait that long. He will come for us. All of us. He told me he will kill all of you and make me watch before he kills me.”
“We’ll figure something out.”
I sipped the coffee. It was about the last thing I needed for my nerves. I was jittery and anxious. If I didn’t get my ass over to Decker, he was going to annihilate my pack. The guys were being very blasé about the whole thing, but I knew Decker would follow through with whatever he had planned. He would have no mercy.
“If my interrogation is over, I’d like to get something to eat. I missed dinner last night.”
“I’ll go with you,” Berrion said.
“I am like ten feet away. Do you think I’m going to make a break for it?”
Ares glared at me. “Yes, that’s exactly what I think.”
“Ares, I’m sorry.”
“You usually are,” he said. “I’m going out to check on things.”
He was taking it especially hard. I felt horrible for hurting him. Nia put her hand on my shoulder. “He’ll be okay, but you really scared him. You hurt his feelings because you didn’t trust him.”
“She’s right,” Sky said. “None of us is happy with what you did. You have to trust us. We have been over this and yet, you still can’t trust us. Do you know how that makes us feel?”
“I’m sorry.”
“It makes us feel like we are inadequate, like we aren’t good enough to be your trusted council,” Radolf said. “You don’t mind the other stuff we do for you, but when it comes to trusting us, you can’t do it.”
I got to my feet. “This isn’t about trust! I wanted to save you.”
Radolf shook his head with disgust. “I’m going out back to check the perimeter.”
My heart hurt watching them walk away. Kya put her arm around me and walked me into the kitchen. “You have to earn their trust again. I think you had this conversation with my mother. It goes the same way.”
“I know. I fucked up. Again. I’ll fix it.”
“Just promise me you will stay put,” she said. “For now, I’m on Azalea duty.”
“You’re my babysitter?”
“And me,” Nia said as she walked into the kitchen.
“I’m sure you guys have other things to do.”
“Nope,” Kya answered. “In fact, I think you might want us with you.”
“Why?”
“Because you need witnesses.”
“And we can run interference,” Nia offered.
“Thanks. I’ll probably need it. I’ve never seen them this pissed.”
The girls held true to their promise. They didn’t give me even a minute alone. I was grateful they allowed me to go to the bathroom by myself. They spent the entire day with me. When it was time for them to go home, it was the guys. One of them was with me at all times.
The whole day, I tried to think of a way out. If I didn’t get to Decker, he was going to attack. He was going to kill us all. My anxiety amped up by the passing hour. Every sound outside made me jump. I was ready to take on Decker. I just needed the chance to do it.
I had managed to get my hands on a gun. My little escapade into town had been for two reasons. I needed to say goodbye, but I also needed to pick up a few things. I knew from my father that a few people in town did have guns. They claimed they needed them for protection against humans. It was crazy that it was more acceptable to shoot a person than it was to have a wolf attack a person. I felt a little guilty about stealing the weapon, but the way I saw it, it was just borrowing it. I was doing it for the greater good.
I wasn’t a total idiot. I was going to be ready, as ready as I could be. When I emerged from the bathroom, Hawk was sitting in the chair in the corner. “Are you going to sleep with me tonight?”
“Nope. I’m going to sit right in this chair and watch you sleep.”
“Hawk, please, I am not going to be able to sleep with you staring at me.”
“I don’t know what to tell you, but I’m not leaving you alone in this room.”
“You could lie in bed with me,” I offered.
“Are you seriously trying to seduce me right now?”
I scowled at him. “No. I was just offering to let you lie in bed instead of sitting in that uncomfortable chair.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re going to doze off.”
“Are you challenging me?”
“No, I’m just saying you can’t stay up all night.”
He offered a tight smile. “That’s why we are taking shifts.”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh good. No one will get any sleep.”
“Just go to bed,” he said.
“Do you want to talk?” I asked.
“Close your eyes,” he ordered.
“Did my mom see that same vision?”
He exhaled a long breath. “I don’t know. You would have to ask her.”
“Gee, that’s a great idea, but as it turns out, the two of you lied to me about it. Remember, you saw a shooting star?”
“Don’t even try and make this the same thing.”
“It’s pretty damn close to the same thing,” I told him. “You lied to me.”
“For an entirely different reason.”
“Sorry, buddy, a lie is a lie. You don’t get to make an excuse for your lie but get mad at me for mine.”
“My lie didn’t get you killed.”
“It could have,” I shot back. “Why don’t you tell me the details? Then I will know what to avoid to keep from getting dead.”
“It doesn’t work like that. The visions aren’t that clear. It’s more of a feeling of you dying. I’ve explained this before.”
“Okay, what was I wearing? Was it during the day or the dark of night?”
He shook his head. “It isn’t like that. It’s grainy. It’s more of a feeling and less about clear images. I saw the death. I felt the death, but I couldn’t tell you if you were in the forest or in your bed. Please stop asking me about this. I don’t want to relive it.”
I did understand what he was going through. I didn’t want to relive my father’s death. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. At least, I pretended to try and sleep.
