I stood for a long moment in front of the shut door. Eventually I turned around, leaned back against it, and slid down to a sitting position.

Suguha’s suspicion that I’d been keeping my distance because she wasn’t my real sister was basically correct. But I was only ten when I’d noticed the blank field in the census data and asked my parents what it meant. But there hadn’t been a direct intention behind my estrangement with her.

That was the point when I’d lost my perspective of personal distance with everyone, not just Suguha.

I had no memories of my actual parents, and Minetake and Midori Kirigaya had loved me exactly the same both before and after I knew the truth, so it wasn’t an external shock to my system. Instead, the event planted the seed of a very odd sensation deep inside of me, where it took root.

It was a kind of suspicion, a constant question in every interaction: Who is this person, really? No matter how long I’d known them, no matter how well I knew them—even my own family members—I couldn’t prevent that thought from running through my brain: Who is this person, exactly? Do I really know them?

Perhaps that was one thing that drove me to the world of online games. On the Net, it was natural for every character to have a secret inner side. No one really knew anyone. Interacting in this world of falsehood where that was taken for granted just seemed comfortable to me. I plunged headfirst into Net gaming around fifth or sixth grade, and never looked back. It would eventually take me into a world that I wouldn’t escape for an entire two years.

If it weren’t for the whole “game of death” thing, Sword Art Online could have been my paradise. A world of false dreams from which I’d never wake. An unending virtual realm.

I tried to play the role of Kirito, just an unfamiliar nobody.

But being trapped in that full-dive experience and unable to escape eventually led me to one pure truth:

The real world and the false world were ultimately the same thing.

Human beings only recognized the world based on the information their brains received. The only thing that made an online game a “false” world was that it could be left behind with the simple flip of a switch.

SAO was a world that my brain recognized with electronic pulses, and a world that couldn’t be escaped.

And that description matched the real world perfectly.

Once I had that epiphany, I understood how empty the doubts that had plagued me since the age of ten really were. There was no meaning to wondering who anyone really was. All you could do was trust and accept them. The people you knew really were the people you knew.

I could hear the faint sound of Suguha sobbing through the door.

When I first saw her face after returning alive from SAO, I was openly and honestly happy to see her again. I knew that in order to make up for the years of distance that my pointless issue had caused, I’d need to close the gap by treating her the way I truly wanted.

But it seemed that over those two years, Suguha had discovered her own truth about me. She’d learned that I was her cousin, not her brother, and the shift in the distance she felt was surely alarming and strange to her, a challenge to accept. And, assuming that she didn’t know the truth, I’d been totally unaware of what was happening to her.

I’d revealed my feelings toward Asuna on multiple occasions in Suguha’s presence. I’d even cried over Asuna in front of her. I could never have imagined that it was hurting her so much to hear that.

And that wasn’t all.

Suguha had never been one for computers and video games. It must have been because of me that she’d started on a VRMMO of her own. Suguha had spent countless hours diving into that virtual world, trying to know more about me, creating another version of herself. Leafa, the girl who’d helped me time and time again in Alfheim…was Suguha.

Yui had said the reason I ran into her first thing after logging in was possibly due to another person in the vicinity being logged in to ALO. It wasn’t just the local vicinity, it was from the same damn house; our global IP was the same. Leafa and I had been fated to meet this way, but even as Kirito, I couldn’t think of anyone but Asuna, and I hurt Leafa just like I hurt Suguha.

I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them so hard it was practically audible, then jumped vigorously to my feet.

Now was the time to do something for Suguha. If there was one thing the people of SAO had taught me, it was to reach out when words weren’t enough.

The loud knock jolted Suguha out of her detached haze, and she hunched tighter in response.

She wanted to shout out not to open the door, but the only thing that left her throat was ragged breath. But Kazuto didn’t turn the knob—he spoke through the door.

“Sugu…I’ll be waiting on the northern terrace of Alne.”

His voice was calm and gentle. She could sense him leaving her door. Farther down the hallway, the door to his room opened and shut, and silence descended.

Suguha shut her eyes tight and hunched up again. The tears that squeezed out made little plips as they hit the floor.

There was no shock or agitation in Kazuto’s voice. After all the hurtful things she’d said to him, he must have internalized it.

He’s so strong. I can’t be like him…

She thought of that painful night several days ago. Like Suguha now, Kazuto had been curled up on his bed. Just like her, he’d been crying for the sake of someone he couldn’t reach. He’d been like a helpless child with no solution to his problem.

The next day, she’d met Kirito. That meant that Kazuto had somehow found information that his sleeping beloved was in ALfheim Online—on the top of the World Tree—and thrown himself into that quest. He’d wiped his tears aside and grabbed his sword.

And I told him to hang in there. Not to give up. And yet here I am, still crying…

Suguha slowly opened her eyes. There was a shining crown ahead of her.

She reached out, lifted it, and set it on her head.

The pale sunlight falling through the wispy clouds seemed to soften the ancient stone architecture of Alne.

Kirito was not at the log-in location. She checked the map to see that the entrance to the dome was on the south end of the World Tree, while the north side featured a large terrace for events. He would be waiting for her there.

Now that she’d come this far, she was afraid to see him. She didn’t know what she ought to say, and had no idea what he might tell her. Leafa took a few dejected steps forward and sat on a bench to the side of the square.

How many minutes did she spend looking at the ground? There was a sensation of someone landing nearby, and Leafa froze, shutting her eyes.

But the person who called her name was not who she expected.

“Arrrgh, I was looking all over for you, Leafa!”

Despite the whiny tinge to the voice, it was energetic and familiar. She looked up with a start to see a sylph with greenish-blond hair.

“R-Recon?!”

The emergence of this surprising face made her forget the pain for a moment. When asked why he was there, Recon put his hands on his hips and bent over confidently.

“Well, I noticed that Sigurd had left the sewer, so when my paralysis wore off, I took my shot and poisoned both of the salamanders dead. Then I went off to find him and make him taste some poison, but he was no longer in sylph territory, so I decided to just head for Alne myself, and the only way to get through the mountains was to keep drawing aggro from all the monsters and foist the trains off on other people until I made it here this morning. It took all night!”

“So you’re saying…you PKed people with monsters…?”

“Look, don’t sweat the fine details!”

Recon excitedly plopped down next to Leafa, totally unconcerned with her observation. Then he must have realized that she was alone, and looked around curiously.

“Where’s that spriggan? Did you split up already?”

“Well…”

Leafa chose her words carefully, inching away to put more space between them. Despite the diversion, there was still a lump of pain in her chest, and no convenient excuse came to mind. The next thing she knew, she was baring it all.

“I…I said some awful things to him…I love him, but I said such hurtful things. I’m an idiot…”

The tears nearly came flooding out again, but Leafa kept them in. Shinichi Nagata was her classmate in real life, and this was only a virtual world, so she didn’t want to burden him with a flood of raw emotion. She turned away and spoke quickly.

“I’m sorry for being weird. Forget about it. I’m not going to see him anymore…so let’s just go back to Swilvane…”

No matter how hard she tried to run, in reality they were only a matter of feet away from each other. But Leafa was still afraid to see Kirito. She decided she’d ignore his summons, go back to Swilvane, greet the few people she liked there, then let Leafa go into a long hibernation. At least until her pain had faded.

Her mind made up, Leafa looked over at Recon, then abruptly flinched backward.

“Wh…what?!”

Recon’s face was as red and puffy as if it had been boiled. His eyes bulged and his mouth worked soundlessly. For a moment she forgot they were safe in town, and thought he might have been hit with a suffocation spell. Recon suddenly darted forward to grab her hands and held them to his chest.

“Wh-wh-what’s happening?!”

“Leafa!” he shouted, so loudly that other players were turning to look. He leaned over Leafa and stared into her eyes, despite her best efforts to pull back as far as possible.

“Y-you shouldn’t cry! You’re not Leafa if you’re not smiling all the time! I…I’ll always be with you, in real life or in the game…L-L-Leafa—I mean, Suguha…I l-love you!”

The words poured out of him as though he were a broken faucet. Rather than wait for her answer, he shoved his face even closer. There was a mad gleam in his normally weak eyes, and his nostrils were flared wide as his lips closed in on her.

“U-um, hang on…”

Ambushes were Recon’s specialty in battle, but this was beyond even that. Leafa couldn’t move for the shock that possessed her body. Recon must have taken that for assent, and loomed even closer, his body practically covering hers.

“W-wait…stop…”

When he was close enough that she could feel the warmth breath of his nostrils, Leafa’s stun effect finally wore off, and she clenched a fist.

“I told you…to stop it!!” She tensed and delivered a short but powerful blow to his solar plexus.

“Gwufh!!”

There was no damaging other players in the safe zone of town, but there was still a knock-back effect. Recon flew several feet into the air and crashed down onto a bench. He held his stomach, writhing in agony.

“Hrrrgh…Th-that was messed up, Leafa…”

“Which part?! Learn to control yourself, you dingus!” she ranted, finally feeling her face flush. The rage and shame of almost having been kissed roared within her like dragon breath. She grabbed Recon by the collar and gave him a few more good punches with her other hand.

“Geh! Agh! O-okay, okay, I’m sorry!!”

He fell off the bench and propped himself up on the paving stones with his right hand, shaking his head frantically. When Leafa relaxed her attacking stance, he sat up, cross-legged, and hung his head.

“Dang it…It doesn’t make sense…I thought it was just a matter of me having the guts to go ahead and tell you…”

“You…” she sighed, “are an idiot.”

“Aww…”

He looked like a scolded puppy dog. It was such a ridiculous expression that Leafa passed straight over exasperation into laughter. She let out a deep breath, half sigh and half giggle. Her heart felt as though some of the weight had left it.

Leafa suddenly wondered if she’d been internalizing everything a bit too much. She’d been gritting her teeth the entire time, afraid of being hurt. Because of that constant backward pressure, when the dam broke all those feelings poured out in a flood. She’d hurt someone very important to her.

It might be too late—but she at least wanted to be honest to herself. Once she realized this, the tension went out of her shoulders. She looked up and murmured, “But that’s the part about you that I don’t mind.”

“Huh? R-really?!”

Recon hopped up on the bench again and grabbed Leafa’s hand—no lesson learned.

“Don’t get cocky, buster!” She slipped out of his grasp and floated up into the air.

“I’m going to follow your example from time to time. I need you to wait here, though. And if you actually trail me, you’ll get worse than this!” She brandished her fist menacingly under Recon’s shocked face, then spun around, beat her wings, and flew up toward the trunk of the World Tree.

After several minutes of flying around the frighteningly massive tree, a wide terrace came into view below. The space was apparently used for flea markets and guild events, but it was empty today. There was little else on the north side of Alne, so there weren’t even any tourists wandering by.

A small black figure waited at the center of the wide-open space. It had sharply angled gray wings, and a massive sword slung diagonally between them.

Leafa took a deep breath, collecting her nerves, and descended to him.

“…Hey.”

Kirito gave her an easy grin, though there was some tension behind it.

“Thanks for waiting,” she replied. Silence followed. The only sound between them was the whistling of the wind blowing past.

“Sugu,” Kirito eventually said. His eyes were shining with serious intent, but Leafa cut him off with the wave of a hand. She beat her wings and took a step back.

“Let’s have a duel, Big Brother. To finish the one we started the other day.”

She put a hand on her katana and his eyes went wide. He opened his mouth briefly, then shut it.

Kirito’s dark eyes stared at her, the deep glimmer the only feature he shared with his real-life counterpart, and he eventually nodded. He flapped his wings and stepped back.

“All right. No handicaps this time,” he said, still grinning, and put his hand on his sword hilt.

They drew at the same time, the clear, crips sounds overlapping. Leafa held her familiar blade dead still at medium height, staring at Kirito. He lowered his stance, just barely keeping the giant sword off the ground. Just as he had the other day.

“You don’t have to hold back at the last second. Here goes!!”

They leaped forward as one.

In the instant they closed the gap, Leafa had an epiphany. That stance of his she’d thought so preposterous during their duel must have been perfected in this virtual world. After all, he’d spent every day of those two years fighting for his life.

For the first time, she wanted to know. Wanted to know what he’d seen, what he’d felt, and how he’d lived in that other world, that death game that had never been anything but the target of her hatred.

Leafa brought her katana straight down from overhead. In Swilvane they’d said her slashes were unavoidable, but Kirito evaded it with just the slightest of motions. His greatsword came howling up at her. She brought the katana forward to deflect it, but the heavy shock left her hands numb.

They each used the backward momentum of the deflection to leap. Beating their wings, they became two opposing spirals, traveling upward to strike again in midair. There was an explosion of light and sound, and the earth shook.

As both a fairy warrior and a kendo athlete, Leafa had to admire Kirito’s ability. He was equally adept at both offense and defense, as smooth and beautiful as a dance. The longer she matched his rhythm of strikes and sways, the more Leafa felt that she was ascending to new heights she’d never experienced before. None of the duels she’d ever taken part in here had ever truly satisfied her. She’d lost before, but it was always due to some special quality of the opponent’s weapon, or a spell. No one had bested Leafa through sword skill alone.

Now that she’d finally found someone who was even better, and he was her beloved, Leafa was filled with something like joy. Even if they never shared their hearts again, this special moment was enough for her. In time, she noticed that there were tears pooling in her eyes.

After several bracing clashes, Leafa let the momentum push her into a backward leap for some distance. She spread her wings wide to come to a halt, and raised her katana high, high over her head.

Kirito seemed to understand that this would be her final attack. He twisted, notching his sword even farther back.

For a moment, all was as still as the surface of a pond on a windless day.

The tears fell down Leafa’s cheeks without a sound, dripping off her chin and sending ripples through the silence. They moved together.

She raced downward, as if to set the air on fire. Her long katana traced an arc of pure light. Kirito was dashing up to meet her head-on. His sword also burned white, cutting the air in two.

Just as her beloved’s blade passed by her head, Leafa let go.

The masterless sword flew forward, an arrow of light. But she did not follow it with her eyes. She spread her arms wide, ready to embrace Kirito’s blade.

She knew this would not satisfy him. But she didn’t have the right words to apologize for the foolishness of her hurtful statement.

So this was her means of making amends: She’d offer this other version of herself to his sword.

Arms wide and eyes half-closed, Leafa waited for the moment to come.

But as her vision melted into white, Kirito flew toward her, his hands—empty.

“…?!”

She went wide-eyed. In the corner of her vision, she noticed that, like hers, his sword was spinning off through open air. He’d discarded his own weapon at the same moment she’d thrown hers.

Before she had time to ask herself why, they crossed in midair. Kirito collided with her, his arms also open wide. The impact knocked the breath from her lungs, and all she could do was cling to him.

Unable to cancel out the momentum, their bodies spun off through the air. The world turned into a blurry smear of blue sky and brown tree.

“Why would—” It was all she could manage get out, somehow.

At the same time, staring into her face from just inches away, he said, “Why did—”

They both fell silent and let inertia carry them through the Alfheim sky, staring deeply into each other’s eyes. After a while, Kirito spread his wings to catch the air and slow their rotation.

“I-I wanted to apologize, Sugu. But…I didn’t have the right words…so I was going to let you hit me instead…”

She suddenly felt Kirito’s arms tighten around her back.

“I’m so sorry, Sugu. After all that time away…I haven’t been seeing you for who you are. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own affairs that I didn’t try to hear what you were really saying. I’m sorry…”

The tears poured out of Leafa’s eyes as she in took his words.

“No…I’m the one who…”

But she couldn’t continue. Leafa sobbed audibly, burying her face in his chest.

She was still thinking she wanted the moment to continue forever when the two of them came to a soft landing on the grass. Kirito continued stroking her head as she sobbed and hiccupped, but a few minutes later, he began to speak in hushed tones.

“To tell you the truth…I still haven’t really come back from there. It’s not over yet. My real life won’t start again until she wakes up…so I still don’t know what to think about you, Sugu…”

“…Okay,” she murmured, nodding. “I’ll be waiting. Waiting for the moment you truly do come back to our home. I’m here to help. Tell me…about her. And how it was you came to this game…”