Bethany Lu
I looked down at Dawn’s text and smiled, getting a little choked up at the same time.
Dawn: I’m happy for you, woman. Be happy for yourself for a change. 
She’d attached a picture of Morphie looking quite annoyed with a little bow tie around his neck.
I swiped at my eyes, blinking quickly, and turned back toward True.
“Are you okay?” he asked. He looked so concerned, and because it was him, I knew that there was no pretense, that he wasn’t faking it.
I nodded, though I was faking the smile I gave him in return. “I’m fine, perfectly fine. Dawn, probably not so much. And if you don’t have life insurance, you may want to think about it, or at least check your medical coverage. She’s out for blood. Yours, not mine of course.”
He grinned. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. As long as I keep you happy. Also, what do you mean, just mine? Don’t you have any responsibility to keep me happy? Dawn has to have some allegiance to me too, right?”
I gave him a skeptical look.
“Ho—”
“Don’t you dare say it,” I warned. “But pretty much. Yes, though I will say she does care for you a bit. So I’ll be careful.”
I tapped on my cell phone and pulled up the picture of Morphie that Dawn had sent. “Here, take a look. She’s got my poor dog all decked out in bow ties and crap. The poor thing looks miserable. I can only take solace in the fact that she’s probably at least spoiling him like mad.” I swiped my screen. There was Morphie giving me sad eyes in a bowler hat. “Look at what she’s done!”
True laughed, and I fought against the lump in my throat and found it hard to get the last words out as he wrapped his arms around me. I buried my face into his chest, torn between this little spot of fantasy and my mind telling me that this wouldn’t make it back home. That True was doing this to once again just take care of me like he’d always done.
I thought of Cole then. Crap. Just when I wanted to not think of him, there he was. A silent presence, always there over the shoulder of either me or True. Watching over us, so to speak. I was never sure if it was kindly.
I knew in my heart that if he still lived, none of this would’ve ever happened. I’d be who knows where in New York. Maybe an artist, maybe married, maybe having kids who might be eight or nine by now and he’d be an uncle. I wondered whether he’d still be friends with True. Probably. True was solid like that and so was Cole.
Me, not as much. It was with Cole’s passing that I’d glommed onto True and Dawn, needing familiarity and safety. If Cole had lived, I’d probably see True at the occasional gathering of friends and family. But let’s face it, how often would I really even show up? I was more likely to be the eccentric auntie if I’d stayed single. I pictured myself dropping off inappropriate presents that Cole’s wife would probably hate and toss out.
This man who was holding me so solidly now in his arms, like he truly loved me, wouldn’t have been saddled with my baggage all these years, protecting me and caring for me like some fragile thing that might fall apart any moment. No, True would’ve had the life he deserved, a life where he could date freely, live freely and not be worried about his best friend’s sister.
I hated myself for it. Not always but sometimes. And the secret worst part of me wondered if he resented a part of me too. If not me, then at least the obligation I’d become to him. How many jobs had he turned down over the years? Overseas teaching positions? Hell, out-of-town sex dates? Just to babysit me?
Would he be working at some fancy firm in LA right now, rolling in cars and cash, if it weren’t for me?
I was scared to ask. The answer felt too devastating to face.
True rubbed at my back, then kissed the top of my head like he’d done so many times before. I stepped back and looked up at him. “So, you ready to give that hot spring another go? I don’t think we got to see the true medicinal benefits of the waters last night.”
True’s eyes lit up and his smile went wide as he lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me toward the back side of the camper where the spring was. “Wait, I need to go inside and get my suit,” I said, slapping at his shoulders.
“Ms. Carlisle. Sometimes you really say the silliest things,” he said. “Now hurry out of those clothes and let’s give those fairies of the forest something to really talk about once we’re gone.”