As she entered the handsome lobby, Leighton realized she hadn’t seen the inside of Maxine’s Upper West Side home much in the past few months other than to pick up Kalyssa, or so they could ride together to brunch. She’d been too busy, first with the start of the new year, and then with Casey. The two had consumed most of her attention. More of an effort should have been made on her part. Ignoring loved ones because she’d gotten wrapped up with work or because she’d developed feelings for someone had never been her style. She needed to do better. In more ways than that.
Today Maxine had summoned Leighton. A sense of foreboding overcame her, and her smile was forced as one of the building’s white-gloved doormen led her to the elevator. Once upstairs, Alicia, Maxine’s longtime housekeeper, greeted her. Maxine stood a short distance behind in the foyer.
“Hello, Leighton. Come in. Let’s talk in the library since the solarium is too cold this time of year. Shall Alicia bring you tea or coffee?”
“Just water, please. Thank you, Alicia.”
“Nothing for me.” Maxine entered the library.
Alicia took her coat, and Leighton followed Maxine into the wood-paneled room. While Maxine was a willing participant in a high-society life dictated by the myriad rules of etiquette, this level of formality didn’t normally exist between them. Leighton’s mother had been born into money—though nothing close to Maxine and George’s level—and Leighton’s family had lived that rigid life throughout her youth. When she was old enough to make her own decisions, she dispensed with most of the stress and nonsense that came with that kind of convention. She saw little reason to care about others’ expectations or opinions aside from her family.
Until now.
Leighton sat in one of the high-backed chairs. In the past, the library’s warmth had always welcomed her. The rich walls and stone fireplace created a relaxed ambiance. Not today. Despite low flames licking at a fake log, a chill hung in the air.
Maxine faced the window. She wore her usual ensemble of skirt, blouse, and jacket. Leighton tried to recall if she’d ever seen her wear anything else. While usually not interested in pandering to the ways of the elite, Leighton had dressed in tailored slacks, heels, and a nice shirt. She’d need all the points she could get with Maxine today.
Apparently, they were waiting for the water before beginning.
A few minutes later, Alicia brought it, served in a cut crystal tumbler with an accompanying pitcher and ceramic coaster, all on a tray.
Why couldn’t anything be simple?
Maxine turned. “That’ll be all, Alicia. We’re not to be disturbed.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Alicia closed the library door.
Maxine crossed her arms. “Your call surprised me.”
Leighton wished Maxine would step away from the window so she could read her expression. The glare from outside silhouetted her, but perhaps that had been her intent.
“Yes, I’m sorry.” Sweat formed along her spine.
“It’s a little late for that. I never imagined you’d do something like this, but at least you informed me right away. If this had become public knowledge, and you’d kept me in the dark, I’m not sure what my reaction would’ve been.”
Leighton fingered the crystal design. “I know it was wrong, and I’m not sure there’s any explanation I can offer you that will make you understand because I’m not sure I do.” She looked at Maxine. “I may have made a terrible decision, but I won’t compound it by hiding it.”
Maxine raked her fingernails through the hair at her temple. “I suppose it’s reassuring to know you have integrity, even if your ethics are suspect.”
The disappointment in her voice cut Leighton to her core. She cared about few people’s image of her, but Maxine was one, as close as a blood relative. She’d let her down and didn’t know if she’d ever be able to make amends.
“I stayed up much of the night devising a way to keep the atelier in business while keeping its reputation intact. This is what’s going to happen.”
Maxine curled her red manicured nails over the back of a replica Henry II chair, or at least Leighton believed it to be. The more she considered it, the piece might be authentic.
“As your largest investor, I’ll take over the daily operations of the atelier. You’ll give up teaching for the rest of this semester, if not longer. I spoke with Stefan this morning. Despite obviously interrupting him with someone, he’s willing to teach the rest of your classes this term, and you’ll supply him with your lesson plans. We came up with a fair financial arrangement.”
“Stefan knows?” Leighton’s stomach churned.
“Not specifics, only that you won’t be teaching for a while. I assured him you weren’t ill or dying.” Maxine lowered her head and looked at her over her glasses. “You can fill in the salacious details.”
“It’s not like that.” Leighton glanced at her hand. Great. A tremor.
Maxine’s stare pierced through her. “Well, it looks like a teacher seduced a student. Are you trying to convince me of something else?”
Leighton’s eyes stung. She didn’t know how to explain what she felt for Casey, or how everything had happened, and make Maxine understand. “I felt something for her from the start. I knew it was wrong, and I tried to ignore it, but it grew. Casey volunteered to watch Kalyssa the night of the panel when I couldn’t find a sitter. You would’ve been upset if I backed out.”
“Let’s not blame this on me.” Maxine’s tone was colder than the room.
“No, I didn’t intend to. This was my doing. When I arrived to pick up Kalyssa from Casey’s, she was having the best time.” Leighton smiled fondly, remembering. “She and Andy had been playing. Casey had ordered pizza, and I was starving. I stayed and watched them as I ate. Kalyssa adores both of them. I ended up reading the kids a bedtime story.” She took a breath before looking at Maxine. “It was everything I’ve ever wanted in an evening.”
Maxine frowned. “You slept with her because you enjoyed a night of playing house together?”
It was more than that. Leighton tried to swallow but couldn’t, so she sipped her water. “No, and it didn’t happen until the night of the exhibition. We only slept together once.” Well, one night. She wouldn’t regale Maxine with how many times she’d come and in how many places. This was no time for semantics. Memories of Casey taking her over the back of the sofa and on the kitchen counter invaded her thoughts.
“Why her?” Maxine leaned on the windowsill.
Leighton blinked away the sensual images. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve shown that Casey gets along well with Kalyssa, and you seem to get along fine with Andy, but that tells me nothing about why you’re attracted to her.”
Leighton didn’t know where to begin. “She’s amazing. I’ve never met anyone so determined. Her worthless family’s actions should’ve handicapped her, but they didn’t. I’d say she’s destined to survive, but it’s more like she’s destined to thrive. When she sets her mind on something, there’s no stopping her.” Leighton could feel Maxine scrutinizing her as she took another sip. “When I look at everything given to me in my life, be it my family or opportunities, and then I look at Casey, it makes me feel I should’ve accomplished more with what I’ve been fortunate to have. It’s more than that, though. She’s a wonderful mom and so good with kids. I do my best with Kalyssa, but Casey makes me want to be a better parent.” This time, she made eye contact with Maxine.
“Was she reason enough to throw everything away?” Maxine tapped her nails on the windowsill.
Leighton stared at a nearby bookshelf, not really seeing it. “I didn’t consider it like that. After she won, I operated under the assumption she’d no longer be my student because she’d be going to Florence. I got caught up in the moment. Yes, I should’ve waited until it was official, but…” She looked at Maxine. “I never felt like this with Jeffrey.” She held up her hand. “I loved him once, yes. I’m not denying that. But with Casey, it’s different, and not because she’s a woman. For instance, she already understands me better than Jeffrey ever did. And when I think about how much I care about her, and what she does for me…I can’t explain it.”
“Humor me and try.” Maxine unbuttoned her jacket.
“Whenever we’re apart, she’s all I think about. When she’s around, I forget my fears and worries. Do you know how wonderful and freeing that is? We’re a good match, both in terms of our personalities and our art. She pushes me out of my comfort zone, challenges me, and I need that.” Leighton crossed her legs, able to relax a fraction just by thinking of her. “Yes, I find her attractive, and her artistic ability is unmatched, as proven by her win at the exhibition. Max, I’m not sure how much more I can teach her. She’s so talented, I should offer her a job. Casey already helped Jenna succeed where I failed. It’s all these things combined that don’t make her seem like an ordinary student.”
“First, don’t call me Max. I’m not your godmother for the foreseeable future. I’m the atelier’s majority financer, and she’s your student, regardless of whether it feels that way. So, we need to address that. You and I need to address many things.” Maxine crossed the room and retrieved a paper from the desk. “We don’t need #MeToo being whispered whenever New Yorkers mention Atelier Vaughn in conversation, so here’s what I’m going to do.” Maxine laid her hand on the circular rent table. “I scheduled a meeting with the other two investors, and I plan to tell them everything. Whether or not they’ll continue to be involved is unknown. I also plan to meet with Casey to get her side of the story.” She held up her hand when Leighton tried to speak. “I’ll allow no argument here. It’s important to establish you didn’t coerce her into anything, so I’ll meet with her alone.”
“I’d never do that.” Leighton hadn’t sounded so meek in thirty years.
“I believe you.” Maxine didn’t continue until Leighton raised her head. “It appears you made a very poor decision. I’ve seen nothing in you to suggest you’d do something so horrific, and I’ve known you since you were an hour old. This needs to be done to protect you and the atelier. I’ve hired a stenographer to transcribe the interview, and I’ll record the audio with Casey’s permission.”
“Oh, God.” Leighton rubbed her temple.
“In addition, we can’t have her viewed as an underprivileged student who needs to preserve her scholarship by keeping her instructor happy in bed. That creates a terrible scenario, so she’ll no longer be a recipient of my endowment’s funds.”
Leighton looked up so fast she hurt her neck. “You can’t. Casey needs it, and she’s the most deserving person I can think of to attend a place like Atelier Vaughn. She can’t afford it otherwise. This will crush her.”
“I can, and I will, because you’ll be funding her education. Balance due zero, paid in full for the rest of her time here, however long that may be.” Maxine left no room for argument.
Leighton nodded. She’d have to find the money, perhaps borrow from Kalyssa’s college fund or drum up some commissions. Another reclining nude might be in her future. The painting she’d done over the summer had earned her five figures. It didn’t matter how she’d find the additional funds. Casey could remain in school, even if it took Leighton years to pay off a loan. She’d always known actions had consequences, but facing them was another matter. At least she had a strong stomach.
Maxine laid a piece of paper in front of her. “This is a list of potential investors, or perhaps even benefactors. Some are elderly museum supporters who could use additional ideas of what to do with their vast fortunes upon their deaths. After all, one can only have so many museum wings named after them. Some are new gallery owners looking to make a name for themselves in Manhattan. At the bottom of the list are the names of a few old acquaintances of your mother’s and mine. That said, I owe you no favors, so you’ll attempt to drum up new funds. Assume your two current investors will bolt after our meetings.”
Leighton had never interacted much with them. Maxine handled their investments. Leighton’s duties involved signing their thank you cards, sending them complementary prints of her work, and schmoozing and boozing them during the annual holiday party. She breathed a sigh of relief she didn’t have to face them.
“Who else knows what happened?” Maxine put a hand on her hip.
Leighton sighed. “I don’t know for certain, but Mark is Casey’s roommate, and she didn’t go home the night of the exhibition, so he might have put two-and-two together.”
“Hmm.” Maxine tapped her lower lip. “That means I’ll need to meet with all the students. You won’t enjoy hearing this, but I’ll be offering them the choice to leave Atelier Vaughn with the option of a full refund for this year. If they choose to stay, I’ll ask them to sign something saying they’ve never had any issues.”
Leighton braced her elbows on the table and held her head in her hands until the room stopped spinning.
“If they feel you’ve slighted them, we can’t have that. Your poor choice may cause a financial setback, and who knows what it will do to your reputation, but that’s the price you pay.” Maxine folded her arms.
“How long before I can teach again?” Her dream seemed to be slipping out of reach.
“Not this semester, but I’ll consider the spring after I inform our investors. We may need to hire an interim instructor.” Maxine cleared her throat. “For now, you’ll avoid the second floor. If you need something from your office or the studio, Jenna can retrieve it for you. You’ll leave the decision-making to me for the rest of the year. I’ll run the day-to-day operations with Jenna’s help. You may enter the building because it’s your home or to assist me in the gallery by hanging the paintings and decorating for the holiday party, but that’s it.”
Leighton could only nod. Other than Kalyssa, she’d lose almost everything that mattered to her. What would she do with her time? If she’d known the repercussions beforehand, would she have slept with Casey? A chill coursed through her at the shock of not knowing the answer.
Maxine turned to look out the window, and silence fell.
Losses seemed to be piling up in Leighton’s life.
That made her recall something else. Since she’d lost so much already, she might as well ask what had bothered her for years. What could it hurt after this? They might even find some common ground in this time of turmoil.
“Maxine?” For a moment, Leighton wasn’t sure she’d heard her.
“Hmm?” She didn’t turn.
Leighton fingered the button on the cuff of her shirt. “Did you love my mother?”
Maxine’s entire body twitched, then her straight, elegant posture returned. “Of course. She was my best friend.”
The heavy door preventing George or Alicia from overhearing prompted Leighton to continue. “That’s not what I meant.” She took a deep breath. “Were you in love with her?”
The only sound came from the ticking grandfather clock in the corner and the crackling fire.
After a few seconds, Maxine turned. “Why are you asking me this?”
“I found a stack of letters when Dad died.” Leighton tucked her hair behind her ear.
Maxine sank into a chair beside her. “What kind of letters?”
Her expression led Leighton to believe she already knew which ones.
“Most of them were from the time you and Mom attended Bryn Mawr. I think you wrote to one another over the holidays, or when away.” She touched Maxine’s hand. “I didn’t read them, at least not beyond seeing you were the sender. I still have them if you’d like them.”
Maxine opened her mouth, but no words came out. She might have nodded or shaken her head, but Leighton couldn’t tell.
“Just let me know, and I’ll bring them over.” That hadn’t been the reason Leighton had brought them up. “Then I found another one.”
Maxine paled, her eyes watery, and she pressed her fingers against the edge of the table.
“It was separate from the others. I found it in my father’s things, in the special box where he kept his great-grandparent’s immigration papers and his father’s pocket watch.” Leighton let her eyes become unfocused as she recalled the day. “At first, I thought you’d written it to him, but you’d addressed it to Mom, like the others. I wondered why Dad kept that one by itself, so I read it. In it, you encouraged her to marry him. You told her he was a good man and would take care of her, how it was clear he loved her, and she’d have a good life. One part stood out to me. In the letter, you explained how if she didn’t have the courage to live a difficult life, you wouldn’t hold it against her. You’d always be there, by her side.” It was Leighton whose eyes were now filled with tears. “And you were, weren’t you? Right until the end.”
Maxine squeezed her eyes closed and didn’t move or speak for some time. Then she nodded. “We became lovers at college.” When she opened her eyes and saw Leighton’s face, she dashed her hand in her direction. “Don’t look so surprised. It was Bryn Mawr.”
Leighton smiled. She’d heard rumors about the all-female college. However, the confirmation of her mother engaging in a same-sex relationship was too much of a revelation for her to wrap her head around, at least right now. From the sound of it, she’d have plenty of time in the coming weeks for that.
“Was she the love of your life?” In a split second, Leighton regretted asking. George was her godfather, and she didn’t know how much he knew.
Maxine’s eyes flashed. “These are intrusive questions considering George might come home any moment.” But before Leighton could apologize, Maxine lowered her voice. “But yes, Deborah was my one, my only love, always and forever.”
Leighton had adored her father, and he clearly loved her mother, but the thought of her mother settling for him out of fear was almost too much to contemplate. How long had he known about the letter, and why had he kept it separate? Had he been grateful? Or had he felt as though he’d won a race simply because the first place finisher had been disqualified? It saddened her that she’d never know the answers. “And Mom loved you, too?”
For the first time since Leighton had arrived, Maxine smiled. “Yes, she did, very much.” Her eyes held a dreamy look, but it was short-lived. “But she couldn’t bring herself to make a life with me, to face what that kind of existence might look like and the hardships we’d endure, so we lived the life you saw. I’m sure you’re wondering, but our relationship was platonic after she made her decision. I’d be quite the hypocrite to condemn your actions if I’d had an affair with a married woman for decades. I lived with enough guilt over the emotional connection we shared. ”
Leighton hadn’t been wondering. Most people didn’t want to think about their parents’ sex lives. It comforted her to know her mother had been faithful to her father, though. She wasn’t sure she could handle knowing her entire childhood had been a sham. “You know, when she was in the hospital, sometimes I’d visit late at night after I’d finished class. I’d find you asleep by her bedside, holding her hand. You, not my father. I remember thinking what a good friend you were to stay with her, even after my father had left. Now I understand there was more to your friendship than met the eye.”
The tendons in Maxine’s neck stood out like she willed herself to keep her emotions in check. “Yes.”
Leighton fiddled with the ring on her index finger. “Does this have anything to do with why I have your middle name and not my mother’s?”
“Both your first and middle name have history.” Maxine glanced out the window. “I know your mother used to tell you when you asked about its origin that she’d seen the name Leighton somewhere and had liked it. That was partly true. She’d seen it on the return address of the weekly letters my dear grandmother sent me during college. Grandmother was my only family member who saw and accepted the real me. But, Deborah didn’t choose the name Leighton, I did. When your mother became pregnant, I struggled with the reality of our decision. After all, it’s one thing to tell the woman you love to marry a man. The knowledge of what had to occur for her to get pregnant almost destroyed me. I suppose assuming they’d be celibate was naive of me.” Maxine paused and blew her nose. “Your mother had always wanted a baby, and the considerate soul she was, offered to let me name you. She also told me your middle name would always make me smile. Lucky for us, your father had no interest in any of this, or questions would have followed.”
“So, she gave me your middle name.” Leighton had always assumed it’d been because Maxine was her godmother.
A tear streaked down Maxine’s cheek. “Yes, and she was right.” She flicked it away and smiled. “It does. By the time Kalyssa was born, the name Catherine belonged to you, but it warmed my old, withered heart when you passed it on to her.”
Leighton squeezed her hand. “It belongs to the three of us.”
Maxine took a deep breath. “Your father was good to Deborah. She couldn’t have chosen a better man, though seeing her with anyone would have been difficult. It was the same for her when I married George.” Maxine shrugged. “But it had to be done. You know what they said back then about a single woman the older she got.”
Leighton could only imagine.
Maxine frowned and smoothed her skirt. “After encouraging you to marry Jeffrey, I felt terrible about how everything turned out. I never expected that to happen. He seemed like a good man.”
“Yes, he fooled us all, so please don’t blame yourself. The choice to marry him was mine to make.” Leighton gave a hollow laugh. “God, I’m going to get a reputation for making poor decisions.”
“It’s too soon to be making jokes. That said, you’ve been happy this year. Even with that fool ex of yours lurking around and calling constantly, you’ve been in good spirits. I see now that has everything to do with Casey.” Maxine tugged her sleeves over her wrists. “I was angry when you called and told me what happened. Disappointed, too. I won’t lie and tell you I’ve gotten over either emotion. However, I know you feel something for her, something more than pure sexual attraction, although I suppose that’s there, too. I know you wouldn’t have done something like this if you didn’t have powerful feelings for her. Perhaps even…Well, I won’t say the word, because you need to come to that realization yourself.”
It took Leighton a moment. Love. While she cared for Casey to such an extent she found herself in unfamiliar territory, was she in love with her?
Maxine hadn’t finished. “I know I’ve been hard on you today, but for good reason. I love you and want happiness for you, but not everyone will be as understanding of your situation as I am. Regardless, we’re going to do our best to get you and Atelier Vaughn through this mess. As for the eventual outcome, I can’t make any promises.”
She didn’t even deserve Maxine’s help. Her lack of impulse control had caused the problem, and she should face the consequences. Yet Maxine had always been part of her life. She was the sexagenarian poster girl for a strong, supportive godmother. Her love for Leighton never wavered, and even when Leighton made the mistake of a lifetime, Maxine stood by her. Leighton had her to thank for everything, and not only for her assistance with this. If Maxine hadn’t encouraged her mother to marry her father all those years ago, Leighton might not exist.
However, this wasn’t the time. The indigo shadows under Maxine’s eyes and the fatigue in her features suggested she’d recounted enough about the past for one day.