INDEX

Note: Index entries from the print edition of this book have been included for use as search terms. They can be located by using the search feature of your e-book reader.

abandonment, See also attention; isolation

able siblings. See sibling(s) acceptance

accommodation

achievement(s)

acknowledging all children’s

need to achieve, See also approval

adolescence. See relationships; teen issues

adult siblings, See also specific topics

difficulties for

discovering own needs

gaining understanding

making sense of the past and moving forward

adult years

age factors, See also birth order

agencies, checklist for

aggressive behavior

fear of

tolerance of

wish for disabled sibling to disappear

aloneness. See isolation

anger, See also unfair treatment and sense of unfairness

in adult siblings

denial /internalization of,

See also depression

expressing

as phase in grieving process

toward parents

anxiety, See also fear(s)

approval, need for, See also achievement(s)

artistic expression

Ashford House

attention

“acting out” to get

being perfect to gain

fear of or guilt over taking too much

giving children time

lack of time with parents

needs for and lack of

wishing one were disabled in order to get

autism, See also cases (Kerry, Lenore, Lily, Stuart Silverstein)

awkwardness, See also embarrassment

behavioral problems. See aggressive behavior; cases (Claire, Helen)

bereavement groups

birth order

when sibling is the younger child

blame, See also guilt

Borchere, Debra

care given by sibling, acknowledging and valuing

career choice

caregiver role

caregiving and responsibility

“brother’s keeper”

finding the positives in

growing up fast

for sibling later in life

Carenet

caring for disabled sibling

cases

Carly

Carol

Caroline

Cassie

Cathy Freeman (and Anne Marie)

Charlie (and Lucy)

Claire

Debra Borchere

Eliza

Emma

Fran

Gina

Guy

Helen

Holly Lu

Jane (and Nick)

Jordan

Josh

Josi

Joy (and Sally, Rose, and Catrina)

Julie

Kerry

Lenore

Lily

Marie

Mark (and Sam and Dean)

Marsha

Meagan

Missi

Nance (and Ashley)

Rachel

Renee

Sally (and James)

Stephen (and Michael)

Stuart Silverstein (and Marc)

Susan

Tara

Tim

Vera

Victoria

cerebral palsy. See cases (Cathy Freeman, Emma, Jane, Josie, Mark, Marsha, Vera)

chronic illness. See cases (Tara) codependence. See giver, having to be

cognitive-behavioral techniques

communication. See also self-expression

encouraging open

parental

compensation

competence, sense of

parents regaining

confused feelings

control, emotional, See also competence

coping skills

counseling

family

individual, See also therapy

Cronin, Peter

dating. See relationships (and dating)

deafness. See cases (Gina) death of disabled sibling

fear of

decision making. See also life choices

involving siblings in

denial

depression

developmental disabilities. See cases (Claire, Marie)

disability(ies)

attractions of a

multiple. See cases (Caroline, Holly Lu, Joy, Stephen)

nature of

discipline, See also unfair treatment and sense of unfairness

Down’s syndrome, See also cases (Fran, Susan, Victoria)

eating disorders

embarrassment, See also awkwardness

emotional disturbance. See cases (Claire)

emotions. See feelings; specific emotions

encephalitis. See cases (Julie)

epilepsy. See cases (Carly, Helen, Joy, Lenore, Nance, Sally, Tara)

estate planning

failure, fear of, See also perfectionism

fair, being, See also unfair treatment and sense of unfairness

faith, loss of

family-centered care

whole-family approach

family(ies), See also parents/primary caregivers

having contact with other

problems not recognized within

questions to help think about needs of

size. See sibling(s), number of

starting one’s own

support from within

favoring disabled sibling. See unfair treatment and sense of unfairness

fear(s)

of being identified with sibling

of developing same disability

sharing information to alleviate, See also information

of violent behavior, See also aggressive behavior

and worries

Featherstone, Heather

feelings, See also specific emotions

acknowledging siblings’

dealing with

denial of

discussing

expressing, See also self-expression

labeling

lack of opportunity to talk about negative, See also secrecy and hiding; silence

suppressing/internalizing, See also isolation

Fleming, Sara

fragile X syndrome. See cases (Debra Borchere)

freedom, See also independence

Freeman, Cathy

friends

choice of

difficulty talking with

embarrassment inviting them to one’s home

reactions to sibling

support from

talking with

Fullwood, Deborah

future, See also life choices

making sense of the past and moving forward

planning for

gender differences in coping

genetic counseling

giver. See also caregiver role

having to be

Glasberg, Beth A.

God, disabilities as the will of

grief, See also death of disabled sibling; depression

of parents, See also parents/primary caregivers, impact of disability on

recognizing

of siblings

stages of

guardianship

guilt

in adult siblings

entering helping profession to appease

over belief that one has caused the disability

of parents, See also self-blame

survivor

Harris, Sandra L.

hearing impairment. See cases (Gina)

heart problems. See cases (Caroline)

helper role. See caregiver role

helping professions

identification with disabled sibling

imitation of disabled sibling

independence, See also freedom; self-reliance/self-sufficiency

encouraging

having some space

lack of

outside activities and interests

information

accessing

resources

sharing

institutionalization

intellectual disabilities. See cases (Carly, Guy, Josie, Julie, Lenore, Marsha, Nance, Rachel, Sally, Tim)

Internet-based discussion groups

isolation, See also loneliness

separation from parents and feelings of

jealousy, See also anger; attention; unfair treatment and sense of unfairness

journal of life

journal writing

Kübler-Ross, Elisabeth

labels

derogatory

using

language, using

life choices

choosing a career

having children

where to live

listening

making sure parents feel listened to

to what siblings say

Lobato, Debra

loneliness, See also isolation

loss. See also death of disabled sibling; grief

of faith

losses for siblings, acknowledging and discussing

loyalty, conflicting

mainstreaming children with disabilities

marriage, See also parents/primary caregivers; relationships

impact on

mastery, sense of. See competence

McKissock, Dianne

meaning(s)

creating more positive

finding, See also God

finding new

media portrayals of living with disability

mental-health prevention

mental health professionals. See professional support; service providers; therapy

mental illness. See cases (Claire, Guy)

mental retardation. See cases (Eliza); intellectual disabilities

Meyer, Don

mourning. See death of disabled sibling; grief

moving away

muscular dystrophy. See cases (Renee)

name calling

neglect, See also attention

when the needs of others come first

organizational policy and approach

organizations

collaborating with other

disability, See also professional support; services; sibling groups

others’ reactions, See also friends; staring; teasing/ridicule

preparing siblings for

overprotectiveness

paralysis. See cases (Helen)

Parent to Parent program

parental expectations

parental role, taking on, See also caregiver role

parents/primary caregivers. See also family(ies)

addressing the needs of siblings

communicating with each other

difficulties talking with

distancing themselves from sibling

feeling listened to

identifying own needs

identifying sibling’s need for support

impact of disability on

listening to siblings

making time for self and partner

as models

planning for future

relationship with

support from other

supporting

supporting siblings

talking with

watching child’s behavior

watching own behavior

peacemaker, having to be

“people pleaser,” role of, See also caregiver role

perfectionism, See also under attention

play

preschool

prevention

primary caregivers. See parents/primary caregivers privacy

privileges. See unfair treatment and sense of unfairness

problem-solving skills

professional support, See also services

professional training courses, checklist for

professional training programs

questions, answering

rejection

relationships (and dating). See also marriage

as catalysts

choice of partner

impact on

talking with partner

relatives, talking with

religious beliefs, See also God

religious community

resilience

resources, accessing appropriate

respite care

retardation. See cases (Eliza); intellectual disabilities

Sally’s Story

school

siblings at same

school-based approaches

secrecy and hiding

security, feeling of

seizures. See also cases (Joy, Tara); epilepsy

first

self-blame, See also guilt

self-consciousness. See embarrassment; teasing/ridicule

self-efficacy. See competence

self-esteem/self-worth, See also neglect

regaining

self-expression. See also feelings, expressing

steps toward

self-indulgence, fear of or guilt over

self-reflection and self-awareness. See adult siblings

self-reliance/self-sufficiency, See also independence

service providers

as advocates

problems not recognized by

showing interest in siblings

supporting siblings

services. See also professional support; support services

accessing appropriate

why siblings don’t access

shame

sibling groups

benefits

encouraging attendance at

setting up

Sibling Project

sibling(s), See also specific topics

being a

factors influencing adjustment of

helping younger

identifying needs of

impact on

number of

positive aspects of being a

reactions to disability

talking with

talking with other

told they are lucky

Sibshop model

Siegel, Byrna

silence, See also secrecy and hiding

Silverstein, Stuart

single sibling, See also sibling(s), number of

skills to deal with stressful situations

social functioning of siblings, See also relationships (and dating)

social networks

social support

informal

strengthening and improving network of

society’s message

space, personal

special attention. See attention special needs, meaning of

specialness, feeling of

helping all children feel special and valued

spina bifida. See cases (Carol)

spoiling disabled child

staring, reactions to people’s

STOP, THINK, DO model

support from outside family, See also professional support; Sibling Project

emotional

from friends and extended family

from other parents

support groups, See also sibling groups; Sibling Project

support mechanisms, helping sibling identify formal

support services. See also services

access to available

teacher role, See also caregiver role

teachers

ways of supporting siblings

Teasetips Web site

teasing/ridicule

dealing with

siblings joining in

teen issues

teen years

therapy, See also counseling

time. See also attention for oneself

training. See professional training programs

understanding

gaining

need for

unfair treatment and sense of unfairness, See also attention; fair, being

withdrawal. See isolation

writing about one’s experiences