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“Jesus Christ, you’re back,” Cagney sighed as the security team escorted Shannon and her crew into his office. “Who are these people?”
“Ann Coleman and her niece Betty. You met Tyler already. Never mind them, Cagney. I want some answers. You told me this was crap, and Los Angeles is now a smoking hole in the ground. They estimate casualties at over 4 million. What do you have to say now?”
“No more illegal alien problem in California,” Cagney grinned. “We’re on it. There is no evidence that the weapon came from here.”
“Not yet,” Shannon said. “What’s the count?”
“Nothing is missing,” Cagney said.
“Yeah, right,” Shannon scoffed. “What the fuck do you know. You sit here and play with paperwork. You have no idea what’s downstairs.”
“You can leave now,” Cagney said. “I don’t know why I let you in here in the first place.”
“You can’t keep me out,” Shannon said, holding up her card. “Remember? My clearance is the same as yours.”
“Not any more,” Cagney said. “We are now officially in a state of war. I have absolute control.”
“War? Against who? Ourselves? Nice try, General. We are in a state of monumental clusterfuck. Nobody knows who, what, where, or why. Except us. We got the goods,” she said, winking at Betty. “Tell him, chicken legs.”
“This guy contacted me,” Betty said. “Hey, did anybody ever tell you that you look exactly like.........”
“Yes. And I don’t want to hear it again. What guy contacted you?”
“Jeff.”
“Jeff who?”
“How the hell should I know? He sent me that picture of the arms room. Tell me it’s fake.”
“It looks real. So what? Nobody can get a nuke out of here. I’ve been over this a thousand times already with Flynn. I’m tired of this. You people get the hell out of my office, right now.”
“No,” Shannon said. “We’re not leaving.”
“What? Are you crazy? I’ll have you shot.”
“No you won’t,” Shannon said. “You’re a pussy.”
“What?” Cagney roared.
“You heard me,” Shannon said. She reached over and grabbed Cagney’s .45 before he could stop her. She jacked a round into the chamber and handed the pistol back to him. “Go ahead,” she said. “Shoot me.”
“Son of a bitch,” he snarled as he let the hammer down. “You are a sick person. Okay, what do you want here? This isn’t our problem.”
“Yes it is. This is where this shit is stored, and somebody got one out. They’re going to do it again, and then we’ll be missing an entire state. Not that I care, but it probably isn’t good for the country. You decide. It’s your call, General.”
“I told you, the count is good. There is nothing missing. I verified it myself. That’s it. This could have come from Russia, you know. Why don’t you go bother Putin? I’m sure he’d be happy to see you. Probably resign after that.”
“There is no satellite tracing showing radiation from Russia. No foreign nukes. Sorry, General. You should know that.”
“No satellite tracing from here either.”
“Satellites don’t trace us,” Shannon said. “Only the bad guys.”
“Jesus, is there anything you don’t know?”
Yeah, but you don’t want to hear about that stuff. Just stick to nukes. How about we interview some of those assholes you hired to protect all this shit?”
“No. I wish I could believe you, but unfortunately I don’t. That’s it, Flynn. You get the hell out of here, and I mean it. I have a lot of work to do. Good bye.” Shannon and her crew sat down on Cagney’s sofa. Shannon just stared at him. “Goddamn it,” he sighed as he slumped into his chair. “Why are you doing this to me?”
“Don’t feel bad,” Ann sighed. “She does this to everybody.”
“There are still 1397 weapons downstairs,” Cagney said. “If I let you count them, will you leave?”
“No. It may not be safe. Which way is the wind blowing, anyway?”
“West to east. We’re too far away, if that’s what you’re thinking. Besides, the air intake here is highly filtered. I don’t know what you expect me to do about this,” Cagney sighed. “This is not my department. I have my duties, and they do not include solving terrorist attacks.”
“You could get another star on your collar,” Shannon winked. “Get girls, money, get your name in the paper, too.”
Cagney looked at Ann, who just smiled. “You do that and I’ll have you prosecuted. My identity is supposed to be top secret.”
“Who gives a shit about you?” Shannon laughed. “You never leave this hole, and nobody can get in. Except me. What difference would it make if the public knew who you were?”
“That’s not my department. I don’t make security decisions.”
“Is anything your department? Half of Los Angeles was vaporized yesterday. 4 million people are dead, and you sit here like nothing happened.”
“I don’t live in Los Angeles,” Cagney said.
“That’s what you said,” Betty snorted, elbowing Shannon.
“Never mind what I said. Come on, Cagney. Let’s solve this, and I’ll let you look up my skirt.”
I already did that,” Cagney said. “And you flashed one of my officers, didn’t you. Well, it won’t work. We are not susceptible to sexual blackmail here.”
“Right,” Shannon yawned, stretching mightily. “I forgot. You have hooker night.”
“You want to join in?” Cagney smirked. “You can give the lizard a lap dance.”
“No thanks. Larry rubs me the wrong way. When is the next training mission? You know, the one where they load the planes with dummies.”
“We’re at DEFCON 1, in case you didn’t know,” Cagney said. “First time ever, that I know of. There are no training missions during war time. The only dummy I want to see loaded on a plane is you.”
“When was the last one?”
“Three months ago.”
“How many nukes went out?”
“Six dummies went out. Six dummies came back. End of story.”
“Did you check the dummies that came back?”
For just the slightest second, Cagney flinched. His eyes darted away for a millisecond, as if he had been caught lying about something. He looked back at Shannon. “No. There is no need to check anything. They went out, they came back. Colonel Simms counted them. We do this all the time.”
“Okay,” Shannon sighed. “You’re happy with the count, so be it. Any other bases have nukes?”
“Yes. That is top secret, though. I can’t say how many or where. I really don’t even know myself. I have no need to know that. It changes occasionally for security purposes.”
“Okay. Show us to our quarters. They’d better be better than that shit hole you stuck me in last time.”
“I hear the hotels in L.A. are nice this time of year,” Cagney grinned.
“Very funny.”
Cagney motioned for a sergeant to come in. “Take these........people to the barracks. Feed them, lock them down. No communication with anyone.”
“Yes, sir,” the sergeant said. He turned to Shannon. “Come on, Miss. I assume you know the drill.”
Shannon turned to Cagney, jerking a finger towards the sergeant. “His name isn’t Indo, is it?”
“Out,” Cagney fumed.