waitron n. A lazy, slow, clumsy or otherwise inept waiter or waitress. A dumb waiter. Conflation of waiter and moron.
walkout n. Food service. A person who leaves a restaurant without paying. Antonym walk-in.
wallet screw v. Charge as much as possible, ostensibly to reassure a customer of the value of their purchase. See snob effect.
waterfront adj. A marketing term used to describe property that is not on the ocean, often applied to land adjacent to a recharge basin or an area that routinely floods.
Water Mill n. A speed bump between Southampton Village and Bridgehampton.
watershed Landscaping. n. The art of producing lush green lawns through over-watering and over-fertilizing solely in order to justify a minimum of two lawn cuttings per week through November. See irrigation system.
waterview adj. A marketing term used to describe property from which a water feature other than the ocean is visible, often through a narrow VIEW SHAFT, raising the property value considerably. See view shaft.
wealthy adj. 1. Not merely rich, but loaded. 2. Insolent and arrogant.
weekend warrior n. A person who bravely battles choking traffic, overbooked restaurants, massive crowds, absurdly high prices, etc. on a weekend holiday in the Hamptons.
well-off adj. When others are happy to see you go.
west of the canal n. 1. That portion of Long Island defined geographically as being west of the Shinnecock Canal. —adj. 2. Cheap; shoddy. 3. Geographically undesirable. Antonym east of the canal. See up-island.
Westhampton Literal “West of the Hamptons.” n. 1. A faux Hampton. See west of the canal. 2. The last refuge of Disco.
whale pod n. A group of young women purposefully displaying their WHALE TAILS above the waist line of low-riding pants. Whale pods are often trailed by a CHUM SLICK.
whale pod with chum slick
whale tail n. 1. The waistband and rear strap of a woman's thong underwear, visible above the waistline of her pants, shorts, or skirt, so called because of its resemblance to a whale's tail rising from the ocean. 2. An oversized rear spoiler found on cars such as the Porsche 911SC.
wheel estate n. 1. An SUV so large that its size is defined in acreage. 2. An investment-caliber collection of automobiles.
White Party n. 1. An annual Hamptons party with an all-white dress code that is hosted by Sean Combs and other rap and hip-hop celebrities. 2. A political movement that advocates sending all non-white people back to their ancestor's countries of origin. 3. The Republican Party.
white plague See consumption.
white trash adj. 1. Wealthy people who exhibit boorish or anti-social behavior. Derivation: Lizzie Grubman, who screamed “white trash” shortly before reversing over 16 people at Conscience Point Inn in her father's black Mercedes SUV. See Lizzie Grubman Effect. —n. 2. Expensive goods in perfect condition that are thrown away simply because they are dirty or out of style. The detritus of the rich.
wifestyle n. 1. The standard of living set by one's wife. wifestyled —adj. 2. Forced to live, often uncomfortably, under a bizarre set of rules intended to preserve the exact appearance of one's apartment, vacation house, or wife. wifestyler —n. 3. A woman obsessed with the redecoration of her apartment, vacation house or self.
winner n. One who has successfully managed to cheat another out of money or property. e.g., The man at a cocktail party who proudly boasted about screwing the builder of his Bridgehampton vacation house out of $150,000.
yard sailor
yard sailor
