9
“THEY” CAN REALLY BE MEAN.
ARE YOU “THEY?”
TROY DUNN
THEY called me Chubby.
THEY called me Troy “Dumb.”
And THEY even said I ran like a girl!
You know who THEY are. THEY are always someone who is faster, better looking, skinnier, older, and, by selfproclamation, cooler than THEY think you are.
Sure, I’ll admit it. I was a little chubby. I was born chubby. My Huggies didn’t hug. In fact, they didn’t even shake hands! I seemed to be a little attached (pardon the pun) to my baby fat… and to peanut butter and marshmallow creme sandwiches. But, SO WHAT?
Troy “Dumb”? Now, attacking my physique is one thing, but attacking my family surname is quite another. I used to tell them, “It isn’t over ‘til it’s over… and when it is, you will be finished, and I will be DUNN!” THEY were too dumb to get it! But, SO WHAT?
As for saying I ran like a girl… that really hurt… because even the girls were insulted! I remember that experience as one of my all-time lows. However, I have to mention that THEY seemed to have forgotten all their teasing and put-downs when, a few years later, I was the starting running back on our 4A State Championship football team and was being widely recruited by some of the best universities in the country.… But, SO WHAT?
The really upsetting thing to me was that even when my family moved to a different state, and I began going to a new school,… THEY were there too! Different faces, but it was definitely THEM!
I eventually realized that I was not their only victim. THEY thoroughly enjoyed humiliating anyone THEY could label in some way: “Zit Heads.” “Dumb Jocks.” As well as the “Geeks” in band and debate. THEY would roll their eyes and laugh derisively at anyone whose clothes, hairstyle, or car was considered by them as “not” rather than “hot.”
Membership in their exclusive club required beauty, bronze, and/or money! THEY were the royalty above us commoners.
Fortunately, I didn’t always buy into their mentality. But, unfortunately, some kids did. And what is even more unfortunate, THEY are still around. In fact, THEY have spawned a whole new generation of self-proclaimed critics with inflated superiority complexes.
Do you know who THEY are?
More importantly, is it possible THEY could be you?
Now, before you too quickly and self-righteously take yourself out of the running because you are quite sure that you would never label anyone and you are certain that you would never treat anyone as inferior to yourself,… realize that you just did exactly that! Yes, I just helped you see yourself as different from and better than THEY are. Oops!
You must understand, an attitude of superiority is a very insidious kind of cancer. Little noticed at first, it can quietly grow into an ugly, self-perpetuating, full-blown social tumor. It can begin with one little insensitive, unkind remark or a disdainful glance. Then, once started, the habit of passing judgment and ridiculing others can escalate. When it gains any kind of momentum, it is hard to stop it or even slow it down.
Let’s define insidious. Something is insidious if it has a gradual and cumulative effect. Here is an example. Did you know that you could accumulate over ten million dollars in just thirty-one days, by saving one penny today and doubling it tomorrow and then continuing to double the amount every day for thirty-one days? Ten million, seven hundred and thirty-seven thousand, four hundred and eighteen dollars, and twenty-four cents!
That’s how insidious works!
Well, the good news is that if a negative attitude of superiority can grow insidiously and multiply, so can a humble, Christlike attitude.
There really aren’t any secrets or tricks to bringing about such a “mighty change.” It may not be easy, but the process is simple. If we hope to change our deeds, we must first change our hearts.
As I have been involved in speaking to youth around the country for the last several years, I have heard some very sad stories from youth who have suffered because they have been put down by others. These young people have been humiliated, demoralized, and demeaned by other young people who have felt superior for one reason or another. Too often this pain has been inflicted not by the unkind people of the cold, heartless world, but by other LDS youth!
Think of it. Our own brothers and sisters tearing down one another; deliberately trying to elevate themselves at the expense of someone else. How can members of the Church, who regularly partake of the sacrament and commit themselves to always remember the Savior and keep his commandments, go around ridiculing or belittling other people? It’s not right. If Heavenly Father, the greatest of all, is no respecter of persons, how can we possibly justify feeling superior to anyone? Obviously, we can’t.
The rich are not superior to the poor.
The strong are not superior to the weak.
Homeowners are not superior to the homeless.
The fit are not superior to the fat,
Nor the tall to the short.
The healthy are not superior to the handicapped.
The white are not superior to the black,
Nor are the young superior to the old.
Seniors are not superior to sophomores,
And LDS are not superior to nonmembers.
Excuse me a moment while I take a well-known scripture out of its context: The Lord did not command us to divide and diminish the earth. Rather, he commanded that we multiply and replenish it! The Lord teaches us principles that magnify, multiply, and add to our worth. It is Satan, the father of lies, who diminishes and divides—persuading us that people we meet who are different from us are somehow inferior to us.
Consider the example of the Savior. Though he could walk on water, turn a stone into bread, heal the sick, and even raise the dead, he did not put people down. Instead, he lifted them, reinforced their self-worth, and confirmed their self-esteem. He communicated by everything he said and did that every individual is unique and valuable in God’s eyes. Indeed, it is his work and his glory to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man; and Jesus laid down his precious life for us—that we might be one day resurrected and redeemed from the effects of our sins.
He demonstrated his love, concern, and humility by kneeling before his disciples and ministering to them by washing their feet (see John 13:4-17). You might like to think for a moment about living conditions at the time this impressive event took place. Given the climate of the Middle East, the dusty roads, and the kind of footwear these men likely wore, to wash another’s feet was a significant act of service as well as a demonstration of humility.
Read that scripture, young people. It is so powerful. “For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him. If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them” (verses 15-17).
LDS youth, you know these things. Please do them. If a fleeting moment of self-importance tempts you to belittle someone else, humble your heart. Consider the stars in the heavens, the mountains and the seas, a butterfly, a rainbow, a newborn baby, and, yes, even chubby me. All of these things are the products of God’s creative genius, just as each of us is. He is the master designer, and we all wear the ultimate designer label—Child of God.
I recently attended my high school reunion. I was impressed that no one seemed to be checking out what anyone else was wearing or driving. Instead, all of us were admiring each other’s family pictures. I’m pleased to say that no one called me “Chubby” or “Troy Dumb” or accused me of running like a girl. We seemed to have grown up and out of the need to ridicule each other. Most of us had learned to say what I had been saying all along… SO WHAT?
It’s nice to be important, but it is surely more important to be nice. It is my prayer for you, my young brothers and sisters, that by your words and actions, you will treat everyone you meet with the respect and kindness that grow out of knowing that every person is a child of God.
Troy Dunn remembers being picked on and ridiculed as a boy, a situation he remedied in part by taking up weight lifting. He attended Pitt State University and is the founder and president of his own company, International Locator, Inc. His hobbies include scuba diving and other sports. A popular youth speaker, Troy serves as a stake Young Men president. He is married to Jennifer Farrell, and they have three children.