CHAPTER FOUR

RACE

 

The bed felt comfortable as I lay on my back, trying to take a nap. After the late night meeting I was exhausted. I felt myself about to drift off to sleep when suddenly the door to my room opened and I knew it was Ramirez.

I didn’t feel like talking to him about why our marriage would not work so I kept my eyes closed.

When I felt the sheet slide off my body I couldn’t believe what he was trying to do. Have sex. We hadn’t fucked since before Carey was killed so why was he coming at me now?

When the weight of his body lowered the mattress slightly, my heartbeat quickened. I just knew he was going to try to fuck me. Instead, he pushed my legs apart and lifted my nightgown.

Within seconds, he was lapping at my pussy, hitting my clit softly and repeatedly. In that moment, I hated myself. Not because he was touching me without permission, but because it felt so good.

I was a tough bitch but the hardest thing I ever did was remain stiff, with my eyes closed while he caused my body to experience all kinds of ecstasy. Instead of faking like I was asleep, I wanted to cheer him on and say, “Right there, Ramirez. Keep it like that. It feels so good.”

Instead, I lay still with my eyes closed and did everything I could to prevent him from knowing that I reached an orgasm. He licked at me for two more minutes after I came and I thought I was losing my mind because it tickled and my clit was sensitive.

When he was done he walked back toward the door and whispered, “I love you, Race. And I’m not going to stop fighting for you.” He walked out.

 

****

 

The next day I was livid about him fucking up my head by eating me out. I wanted him to know that no matter what he did the night before, we were still over.

My soon to be ex-husband was standing in the middle of our bedroom looking at the divorce papers I had drawn up a week ago. The pen to sign them and get this shit over with was in his other hand.

Why wouldn’t he use it to scribble his signature down?

Part of me wanted it done with. Wanted him to let me walk out. But the other part of me was scared to be alone. Who was I if I wasn’t Ramirez’s wife? Would I even still be a Kennedy?

He flipped to the last sheet, laughed and tossed the papers on the bed. His lips tightened and he said through clenched teeth, “I’m not signing that shit, Race. You my wife now and you’re going to stay my fucking wife. For as long as I have breath in my body. And as long as you have breath in yours.”

I stomped over to the dresser and slammed my fist on it. The half bottle of Hennessey that I had been nursing all morning wobbled and I picked it up, took a swig and slammed it back down. Angry, I turned around to face him. “You said you would do it, Ramirez. You promised to let me go. What’s different now?”

“Because you don’t really want a divorce, baby,” he said holding one hand over his chest. “If you did, you wouldn’t still be here. Don’t do this shit to me! I’m begging you.”

I walked up to him with my arms crossed over my chest, afraid of what I might do to him. Real slowly I parted my lips and said, “I been telling you I want a divorce for months and now is the time.” I paused. “And like I told you in the past, only reason I’m still here is because I haven’t found the right place. The moment I get the house of my dreams, I’m gone and you need to prepare yourself for that.”

“Do you even get what’s going on right now? We at war, Race! Fuck I look like divorcing you at a time like this?” He gripped my shoulders and pulled me toward him. Gazing down at me, he said, “Not over no stripper we both brought into our marriage.”

I wiggled out of his grasp. “You don’t get it, do you?” I asked angrily. “It’s not about us fucking a bitch together. It’s about you falling in love with her.”

“And you didn’t fall in love with her?” He paused. “Keep it one hundred, Race! You talked to her more than I did. And don’t tell me I didn’t hear you crying over her a few times in the bathroom when you thought I wasn’t listening,” he continued. “You miss her, baby, but I’m over the chick. I understand why you had to lay the murder game down and all I want right now is my wife back!”

“You should’ve understood that the moment I put a bullet in her head instead of acting like your wife was dead as opposed to your side bitch.”

I felt myself wanting to cry but I sucked it in. Ramirez violated by catching feelings and I hated him for it. I hated him for making me kill her because I knew in my heart that she was perfect…for both of us.

I turned around and faced the door when I heard someone in our room. “Excuse me, I don’t mean to interrupt, but do you know where my daughter is?” Sarah asked hanging in the doorway.

I gasped when I saw what this bitch had on. She was wearing a sheer red nightgown and I wanted to smack the shit out of her because you could see every line on her body. Her large saggy breasts, her hairy pussy and the tiger striped stretch marks on her legs and belly. I knew she was going to be a problem when Denim said she had to stay with us but I never expected no shit like this.

“Sarah, if you don’t get the fuck up out my room with that shit on I’ma lay hands on you,” I promised.

Sarah’s eyes widened and she laughed before raising a wine glass she was carrying to her lips. The red liquid splashed against her mouth and she stretched her tongue into the glass. When she was done with her stinky, supposed-to-be-erotic sip, she lowered her glass and looked over my head at Ramirez.

“Why you mad, cutie?” she said to me with eyes still on him. “Is it because you’re afraid that that fine ass man candy of yours will want some of this good pussy?” She raised her nightgown like she was about to flash him and I lifted my red tank top, showing the handle of my Beretta in my jeans.

The stupid smile vanished from her face. “No need to be so antsy.” She looked into my eyes and back at my gun handle. “I was just searching for Denim. Since she ain’t here, I guess I’ll check around the rest of the house.”

“You go do that,” I said.

“I will. But you’re going to wish you didn’t unveil your gun to me. I promise you that.”

When she left I turned around and looked at Ramirez. He had his hand over his mouth like he was trying to suppress a laugh. When I saw his face turning red, I busted out laughing too. Before I knew it, he was on the floor in tears and I was on the bed.

Together we had the kind of laugh that made me forget all about my troubles and it took both of us a minute to simmer down. When I was done he crawled up on the bed next to me and said, “You see, baby? We still got a lot of love left. Don’t end us.” He grabbed my hand and kissed the top of it. “I’m begging you.”