The Sound of My Name is Revolution

My name tastes like a princess torte

from Wuollet’s, the Larchmont Bungalow

it’s savory like Thai Cambodian lunch

at Sophy’s in Long Beach

it’s like Brie cheese

paired with Penfold’s Cabernet

refreshing, healthy

like pressed raw juice

My name is where I start

when, where, how did I begin?

my personal history

basic human right

yet systems, governments

block me

Is it privilege to know these things?

is it privilege

to have only one legal name

on this planet

instead of three?

is it privilege to have a name

you can just say

no one reacts to?

sometimes I can’t even just say

my name to an operator

My name a blessed curse

I will take to the grave

unless I hire an attorney

stand before a judge

bring two trusted witnesses

pay four hundred dollars

notify the INS

initiate a background check

on myself

So I embrace each secret part of my name

the sound of my name is revolution

a melody

unknown, familiar song

people mispronounce

like fingernails on chalkboards

when I see my name misspelled

it invokes trauma

it’s revolting, repulsive

a punch to my gut

My name paints every shade of blue

like the ocean

a palette of reactions

water can be friend or foe

bring relief or tragedy

quenches thirst at marathon’s end

chokes out life in a New Orleans hurricane

My name Julayne

means youthful heart, youthful spirit

perfect love sometimes absent

I found the missing piece

for my heart-shaped name

I measure my name in metric and imperial

measure it in wine, cheese, olives, hummus,

chocolate, red velvet cupcakes,

measure it in maple bacon sweet potato fries,

steak salads,

and ice cream birthday cakes

The temperature of my name a fever

when too many people I meet

for the first time

respond in introduction

that I have such a beautiful name

or icy cold

just because you think my name is beautiful

I’ve never heard that name before!

doesn’t mean I want to have coffee with you

to talk about how exotic and romantic

you think it sounds

The texture of my name like a nail file

one side sand paper

few accurately pronounce

and not project awkwardness

the first time

the other side smooth,

beautiful,

easy to pronounce

rhymes with Tulane

rolls off your tongue like a revolutionary chant

Ann Taylor destination the scent of my name

extinct fragrance

my name is Ocean Breeze

Eucalyptus, Jasmine

If I could give my name a new meaning

you’d hear

Ambitious

Relentless

Rainmaker

Fierce

Genuine

Loyal

Badass!