34.

The Vuillemeyers were the father, mother, five sisters, and three brothers of The Humanitarians from Nun’s Hat. The Humanitarians were siblings within the Vuillemeyer family. All twelve Vuillemeyers were of different ages, of course, but they all shared identical shaggy blonde hair, and they were all exactly the same height. When news of The Humanitarians death finally reached Nun’s Hat, The Vuillemeyers were determined to find and recover the bodies of the two adored members of their family. All remaining ten Vuillemeyers traced The Humanitarians’ route along the banks of The Cause. Because they were all the same height, when they walked in a single-file line they looked like a blonde caterpillar.

Pie Time was described to The Vuillemeyers only in letters from The Humanitarians. Their letters never mentioned the first thing about God’s Finger. There was money to be made in assisting those who were left behind to deal with the newly dead, and The Humanitarians were to make as much of it as possible without sharing. In the very last letter received by The Vuillemeyers, The Businessman was described as “the most generous people” they had ever met. The Humanitarians also wrote that they had gotten a well-paying job from The Businessman “simply by walking around town, shopping and holding conversations, while wearing beautiful cages.” None of The Vuillemeyers knew what the cages were for.

Just before The Vuillemeyers arrived in Pie Time, Mitzi Let was crawling on her knees down the center of Last Street in front of the XO Cafe like a cat that had gotten the worse half of a terrible fight, dragging her broken arm behind her along the ground. She was not wearing the cage she found in the sheep’s pen behind the butcher shop.

“They need two more bodies.” Mitzi’s words fell from the gashes of her body, into the dirt of the street. “Two more... bodies...for their pyramid.”

The Banker stood from his favorite table inside the cafe and walked up to the window. “Is that Mitzi Let?” he said into his mug of coffee. “I think I’m seeing things. I think Mitzi is back from the dead.”

“No, no, once you die, you die. That’s one thing I know for sure,” said The Landlord.

“Well, have a look for yourself.” The Banker pointed at the woman on her hands and knees in the middle of Last Street.

“We’ve stopped dying, and now we’re all going to come back,” said The Businessman. “We’ll be able to make something off the coming and the going!”

“Slow down, slow down.”

The Businessman, The Landlord, and The Banker waddled out the front door of the cafe in their custom gold cages, and stood in a line on the sidewalk outside of the cafe.

“Mitzi?! Mitzi, is that you?” shouted The Landlord, from about 30 feet away. “Are you ok?”

“They need two more,” Mitzi yelled.

“My god, that is Mitzi,” said The Landlord to The Businessman. He yelled back to her. “What’s that you say? Two more what?”

“Two more bodies. For the pyramid,” Mitzi answered.

“Why aren’t you still dead?” shouted The Banker.

Mitzi fell down to her elbows and stopped crawling. The crowd that once stood at a distance now collapsed closely upon her in the middle of the street. She looked as though she was in her last minute of life.

“Someone, go get Father Felipe,” said The Chef. “Mitzi’s about to die.”

Inside the crowd, Beulah Minx could read The Chef’s lips. Her need to feel helpful sent her into the nearest business to ask around for Father Felipe. The nearest business was Mano’s barbershop. She returned a few minutes later with no new information and a black poodle under her arm.

“They’re coming back to life now!” shouted The Businessman, as if to celebrate Mitzi’s return, as she choked for air near their feet.

“Mitzi, tell us about the two bodies,” asked The Landlord, more to the point. “Who needs them?”

“Nun’s Hat,” Mitzi choked.

“What’s the Nun’s Hat?”

“Nun’s Hat saved me from death in the sea. Then I woke up on the pyramid.”

“Mitzi, we need you to speak clearly now.”

Mitzi hung her head, exhausted. “They need two more. For the pyramid.”

“She’s gone mad,” said The Businessman to other people in the crowd. “There’s nothing that can save us from death except our XO Life Cages. We all know that. Poor Mitzi, poor poor Mitzi.”

“What pyramid is she talking about?” asked The Chef.

“Two more bodies for what?” asked The Landlord.

“I think she’s dead,” said Mary, who nudged Mitzi’s shoulder with her foot.

Mitzi revived for a moment and said, “Pepe?”

“Pepe is dead,” said Mary, trying to help in her own way. “Remember? You were there. Down by The Cure?” Mary pointed toward The Cure. “You were there, Mitzi.”

Mitzi put her hands on the ground and tried to remember. Then she started to cry.

Just then, that blonde caterpillar, The Vuillemeyers, approached the gathering crowd on Last Street. They were tired and weary from their long journey from Nun’s Hat, walking up toward town from the banks of The Cure, past Mano’s barbershop.

“Who are you?” asked The Landlord.

“We’re The Vuillemeyers,” said all of The Vuillemeyers simultaneously.

“Can we help you?” asked the Businessman.

“We’ve come looking for two people,” they said.

“Two people, huh? Where do you come from?” asked The Businessman.

“Oh dear, were they Humanitarians?” asked The Landlord. “And were they beautiful? A man and a woman?”

“Yes, exactly!” exclaimed all of The Vuillemeyers.

Everyone in the crowd looked at each other hoping someone else would be the bearer of the bad news, which was that The Humanitarians were freshly buried in XO Graves.

“Ask them where they’re from,” said Mitzi.

“Where are you from?” The Landlord asked the Vuillemeyers.

“Nun’s Hat,” they all said.

After some silent debating, The Businessman broke the news to The Vuillemeyers. Grief struck hard and swiftly. It reverberated loudly, like static electricity between all ten of them.