A street before the Jeweller’s house
Enter Knight, two Officers after him.
KNIGHT
Adieu, farewell, to bed you, I to my sweet city-bird, my precious Revenue: the very thought of a hundred and fifty angels increases oil and spirit, ho!
FIRST OFFICER
I arrest you, sir.
KNIGHT
Oh!
FIRST OFFICER
You have made us wait a goodly time for you, have you not, think you? You are in your rouses and mulwines; a pox on you! And you have no care of poor officers staying for you.
KNIGHT
I drunk but one health, I protest, but I could void it now. At whose suit, I pray?
FIRST OFFICER
At the suit of him that makes suits, your tailor.
KNIGHT
Why, he made me the last; this, this that I wear.
FIRST OFFICER
Argo. Nay, we have been scholars, I can tell you; we could not have been knaves so soon else: for as in that notable city call’d London stand two most famous universities, Poultry and Woodstreet, where some are of twenty years’ standing, and have took all their degrees from the Master’s side down to the Mistress’ side, the Hole, so in like manner —
KNIGHT
Come, come, come, I had quite forgot the hundred and fifty angels.
SECOND OFFICER
‘Slid, where be they?
KNIGHT
I’ll bring you to the sight of ‘em presently.
FIRST OFFICER
A notable lad, and worthy to be arrested! We’ll have but ten for waiting, and then thou shalt choose whether thou wilt run away from us, or we from thee.
KNIGHT
A match at running. Come, come, follow me!
SECOND OFFICER
Nay, fear not that.
KNIGHT
Peace; you may happen to see toys, but do not see ‘em.
FIRST OFFICER
Pah!
KNIGHT
That’s the door.
FIRST OFFICER
This?
Knocks.
KNIGHT
‘Sfoot, officer, you have spilled all already!
FIRST OFFICER
Why?
KNIGHT
Why? You shall see; you should have but whirl’d the ring once about, and there’s a maidservant brought up to understand it.
MAID
[Opening the door] Who’s at door?
KNIGHT
All’s well again. Phist, ’tis I, ’tis I.
MAID
You? What are you?
KNIGHT
Puh! Where’s thy mistress?
MAID
What of her?
KNIGHT
Tell her one, she knows who, her Pleasure’s here, say.
MAID
Her Pleasure? My mistress scorns to be without her pleasure at this time of night. Is she so void of friends, think you? Take that for thinking so!
[Gives him] a box [on the ear, and shuts the door.]
FIRST OFFICER
The hundred and fifty angels are lock’d up in a box; we shall not see ‘em tonight.
KNIGHT
How’s this? Am I used like a hundred pound gentleman? Damn me if ever I be her pleasure again! Well, I must to prison.
FIRST OFFICER
Go prepare his room; there’s no remedy. I’ll bring him along; he’s tame enough now.
[Exit Second Officer.]
KNIGHT
Dare my tailor presume to use me in this sort?
He steals, and I must lie in prison for’t.
FIRST OFFICER
Come, come, away, sir!
Enter a Gentleman with a Drawer.
GENTLEMAN
Art sure thou sawest him arrested, drawer?
DRAWER
If mine eyes be sober.
GENTLEMAN
And that’s a question. Mass, here he goes! He shall not go to prison; I have a trick shall bail him. Away!
[Exit Drawer. The Gentleman puts his hands over the First Officer’s eyes, while the Knight escapes.]
FIRST OFFICER
Oh!
GENTLEMAN
Guess, guess, who am I? Who am I?
FIRST OFFICER
Who the devil are you? Let go! A pox on you! Who are you? I have lost my prisoner.
GENTLEMAN
Prisoner? I’ve mistook; I cry you heartily mercy. I have done you infinite injury, o’ my troth; I took you to be an honest man.
FIRST OFFICER
Where were your eyes? Could you not see I was an officer? Stop, stop, stop, stop!
GENTLEMAN
Ha, ha, ha, ha!