A gallery in Glister’s house.
Enter Glister, his wife, and Maria.
GLISTER
Tricks and shows: protestations with men are like tears with women, forgot ere the cheek be dry. Gerardine is a gentleman; his lands be in statutes: ‘a is not for thee, nor thou for him; ‘a is a gallant, and young thoughts be most unconstant.
MARIA
Yet young vines yield most wine.
MISTRESS GLISTER
But old vines the best. Believe not these great-breeched gallants; they love for profit, not for affection; if ‘a brings thee to a fool’s paradise, ‘a will forsake thee.
GLISTER
Which fortune God send my enemy. Love is a cold heat, a bitter sweet, a pleasure full of pain, a huge loss, and no gain. Why shouldst thou love him only ?
MARIA
Words cannot force what destiny hath seal’d.
Who can resist the influence of his stars,
Or give a reason why ‘a loves or hates,
Since our affections are not rul’d by will,
But will by our affections? ’Tis blasphemy
‘Gainst love’s most sacred deity, to axe
Why we do love, since ’tis his only power
That sways all our affections; all things which be,
Beasts, birds, men, gods, pay him their fealty.
GLISTER
Tut, love is an idle fantasy, bred by desire, nursed by delight, an humour that begins his dominion in Leo the Lion, the sign of the heart, and ends in Aries the Ram, the sign of the head; his power is to stir the blood, pricks up the flesh, fills all the body with a libidinous humour, and is indeed the overture of all ladies. Which to prevent, I have banished Gerardine, your dearly beloved, my house; and as for you, since I am your guardian by my brother’s last will, I will sequester you from all other rooms in my house, save this gallery and your upper chamber, till in discretion I shall find it convenient to enlarge you.
MARIA
My body you may circumscribe, confine
And keep in bounds; but my unlimited love
Extends itself beyond all circumscription.
MISTRESS GLISTER
Believe me, Maria, I have known the natures of divers of these gallants: if they possess the unlimited love of us women in never so ample manner, without the society of the body, I know how soon their love vadeth. Young men’s love is like ivy: it must have somewhat to cleave to, or it never prospers. Love is like fasting-days, but the body is like flesh-days; and ’tis our English gallants’ fashion to prefer a morsel of flesh before all the fasting-days in the whole year.
Enter Vial.
GLISTER
The news with you, Vial?
VIAL
And it like your worship, here’s Club, Master Purge the pothecary’s prentice, come to invite you, my mistress and Mistress Maria to supper, and to see Master Gerardine’s will sealed.
GLISTER
Tell Club my wife and myself will be there, but Maria shall not come.
Exit Vial.
There must be your sweetheart’s parting feast: now ‘a perceives no access to my house, ‘a will to sea. A good riddance: if ‘a returns not, you forsooth are his heir, that’s not much amiss. Yet there may be tricks; I will not be overreached. Come to your chamber, where till my return you shall be in safe custody.
[Exit with Mistress Glister.]
MARIA
O silly men, which seek to keep in awe
Women’s affections, which can know no law!
Maria ascends [to the upper stage].