Outside Vindici’s house
Enter Vindici [with a skull]; the Duke, Duchess, Lussurioso [his] son, Spurio the bastard, with a train pass over the stage with torchlight.
VINDICI
Duke, royal lecher, go, gray-hair’d adultery;
And thou his son, as impious steep’d as he;
And thou his bastard, true-begot in evil;
And thou his duchess that will do with [the] devil:
Four ex’lent characters. Oh, that marrowless age
Would stuff the hollow bones with damn’d desires,
And stead of heat kindle infernal fires
Within the spendthrift veins of a dry duke,
A parch’d and juiceless luxur! Oh God, one
That has scarce blood enough to live upon!
And he to riot it like a son and heir?
Oh, the thought of that
Turns my abused heartstrings into fret!
Thou sallow picture of my poisoned love,
My study’s ornament, thou shell of death,
Once the bright face of my betrothed lady,
When life and beauty naturally fill’d out
These ragged imperfections,
When two heaven-pointed diamonds were set
In those unsightly rings: then ’twas a face
So far beyond the artificial shine
Of any woman’s bought complexion
That the uprightest man, if such there be,
That sin but seven times a day, broke custom
And made up eight with looking after her.
Oh, she was able to ha’ made a usurer’s son
Melt all his patrimony in a kiss,
And what his father fifty years told
To have consum’d, and yet his suit been cold!
But oh, accursed palace!
Thee, when thou wert apparel’d in thy flesh,
The old duke poison’d,
Because thy purer part would not consent
Unto his palsy-lust, for old men lustful
Do show like young men angry, eager-violent,
Outbid like their limited performances.
Oh, ‘ware an old man hot and vicious!
“Age, as in gold, in lust is covetous.”
Vengeance, thou murder’s quit-rent, and whereby
Thou shouldst thyself tenant to tragedy,
Oh, keep thy day, hour, minute, I beseech,
For those thou hast determin’d! Hum: whoe’er knew
Murder unpaid? Faith, give revenge her due:
Sh’as kept touch hitherto. Be merry, merry;
Advance thee, O thou terror to fat folks,
To have their costly three-pil’d flesh worn of
As bare as this: for banquets, ease, and laughter
Can make great men, as greatness goes by clay,
But wise men little are more great than they.
Enter [his] brother Hippolito.
HIPPOLITO
Still sighing o’er death’s vizard?
VINDICI
Brother, welcome;
What comfort bringst thou? How go things at court?
HIPPOLITO
In silk and silver, brother; never braver.
VINDICI
Puh,
Thou play’st upon my meaning. Prithee say,
Has that bald madam, opportunity,
Yet thought upon’s? Speak, are we happy yet?
Thy wrongs and mine are for one scabbard fit.
HIPPOLITO
It may prove happiness.
VINDICI
What is’t may prove?
Give me to taste.
HIPPOLITO
Give me your hearing then.
You know my place at court.
VINDICI
Ay, the duke’s chamber.
But ’tis a marvel thou’rt not turn’d out yet!
HIPPOLITO
Faith, I have been shov’d at, but ’twas still my hap
To hold by th’ duchess’ skirt. You guess at that;
Whom such a coat keeps up can ne’er fall flat.
But to the purpose.
Last evening predecessor unto this,
The duke’s son warily enquir’d for me,
Whose pleasure I attended: he began
By policy to open and unhusk me
About the time and common rumour;
But I had so much wit to keep my thoughts
Up in their built houses, yet afforded him
An idle satisfaction without danger.
But the whole aim and scope of his intent
Ended in this: conjuring me in private
To seek some strange-digested fellow forth
Of ill-contented nature, either disgrac’d
In former times, or by new grooms displac’d
Since his stepmother’s nuptials, such a blood
A man that were for evil only good;
To give you the true word, some base-coin’d pander.
VINDICI
I reach you, for I know his heat is such:
Were there as many concubines as ladies
He would not be contain’d, he must fly out.
I wonder how ill-featur’d, vild-proportion’d
That one should be, if she were made for woman,
Whom at the insurrection of his lust
He would refuse for once. Heart, I think none,
Next to a skull, tho’ more unsound than one:
Each face he meets he strongly dotes upon.
HIPPOLITO
Brother, y’ave truly spoke him.
He knows not you, but I’ll swear you know him.
VINDICI
And therefore I’ll put on that knave for once,
And be a right man then, a man a’ th’ time,
For to be honest is not to be i’ th’ world.
Brother, I’ll be that strange-composed fellow.
HIPPOLITO
And I’ll prefer you, brother.
VINDICI
Go to then;
The small’st advantage fattens wronged men,
It may point out. Occasion, if I meet her,
I’ll hold her by the foretop fast enough,
Or like the French mole heave up hair and all.
I have a habit that will fit it quaintly.
[Enter Gratiana and Castiza.]
Here comes our mother.
HIPPOLITO
And sister.
VINDICI
We must coin.
Women are apt, you know, to take false money,
But I dare stake my soul for these two creatures,
Only excuse excepted that they’ll swallow
Because their sex is easy in belief.
[GRATIANA]
What news from [court], son Carlo?
HIPPOLITO
Faith, Mother,
’Tis whisper’d there the duchess’ youngest son
Has play’d a rape on Lord Antonio’s wife.
[GRATIANA]
On that religious lady!
CASTIZA
Royal blood!
Monster, he deserves to die,
If Italy had no more hopes but he.
VINDICI
Sister, y’ave sentenc’d most direct and true:
The law’s a woman, and would she were you.
Mother, I must take leave of you.
[GRATIANA]
Leave for what?
VINDICI
I intend speedy travel.
HIPPOLITO
That he does, madam.
[GRATIANA]
Speedy indeed!
VINDICI
For since my worthy father’s funeral,
My life’s unnatural to me, e’en compell’d
As if I liv’d now when I should be dead.
[GRATIANA]
Indeed he was a worthy gentleman,
Had his estate been fellow to his mind.
VINDICI
The duke did much deject him.
[GRATIANA]
Much?
VINDICI
Too much.
And through disgrace oft smother’d in his spirit
When it would mount, surely I think he died
Of discontent, the nobleman’s consumption.
[GRATIANA]
Most sure he did!
VINDICI
Did he? ‘Lack, you know all;
You were his midnight secretary.
[GRATIANA]
No.
He was too wise to trust me with his thoughts.
VINDICI
I’faith then, father, thou wast wise indeed:
“Wives are but made to go to bed and feed.”
Come mother, sister; you’ll bring me onward, brother?
HIPPOLITO
I will.
VINDICI
[Aside to him] I’ll quickly turn into another.
Exeunt.