The lodge
Enter Roxano with his disguise in his hand.
ROXANO
This is the farther lodge, the place of meeting, the hour scarce come yet. Well. I was not born to this; there’s not a hair to choose betwixt me and a pander in this case, shift it off as well as I can. I do envy this fellow’s happiness now, and could cut his [throat] at pleasure. I could e’en gnaw feathers now to think of his downy felicity: I, that could never aspire above a dairy wench, the very cream of my fortunes. That he should bath in nectar, and I most unfortunate in buttermilk! This is good dealing now, is’t?
Enter Mazeres, musing.
MAZERES
[Aside] I’ll have some other, for he must not live.
ROXANO
[Aside] Who’s this? My Lord Mazeres, discontent!
H’ has been to seek me twice, and privately;
I wonder at the business. I’m no statesman;
If I be, ’tis more than I know: I protest therefore
I dare not call it in question. What should he make with me?
I’ll discover myself to him; if th’ other come
In the meantime, so I may be caught bravely,
Yet ’tis scarce the hour. I’ll put it to the trial.
MAZERES
[Aside] Roxano in my judgment had been fittest,
And farthest from suspect of such a deed
Because he keeps in the castle.
ROXANO
My lov’d lord.
MAZERES
Roxano!
ROXANO
The same, my lord.
MAZERES
I was to seek thee twice.
Tell me, Roxano, have I any power in thee?
Do I move there, or any part of me
Flow in thy blood?
ROXANO
As far as life, my lord.
MAZERES
As far as love, man; I ask no further.
ROXANO
Touch me then, my lord, and try my mettle.
MAZERES
[Giving him gold] First, there’s gold for thee,
After which follow favour, eminence,
And all those gifts which fortune calls her own.
ROXANO
Well, my lord.
MAZERES
There’s one Tymethes, son to the banish’d king,
Lives about court, Zenarchus gives him grace,
That fellows my diseases; I thrive not with him:
He’s like a prison chain shook in my ears;
I take no sleep for him, his favours mad me.
My honours and my dignities are dreams
When I behold him; that right arm can ease me:
I will not boast my bounties, but forever
Live rich and happy. Thou art wise; farewell.
Exit.
ROXANO
Hum, what news is here now? “Thou art wise; farewell.” By my troth, I think it is a part of wisdom to take gold when it is offer’d: many wise men will do’t; that I learnt of my learned counsel. This is worth thinking on now. To kill Tymethes, so strangely belov’d by a lady, and so monstrously detested by a lord? Here’s gold to bring Tymethes, and here’s gold to kill Tymethes. Ay, let me see: which weighs heaviest? By my faith, I think the killing gold will carry ‘t. I shall like many a bad lawyer run my conscience upon the greatest fee: who gives most is like to fare best. I like my safety so much the worse in this business in that Lord Mazeres is his profess’d enemy. He’s the king’s bosom; he blows his thoughts into him, and I had rather be torn with whirlwinds than fall into any of their furies. Troth, as far as I can see, the wisest course is to play the knave, lay open this venery, betray him. But see, my lord again.
Enter Mazeres.
MAZERES
Hast thou thought of me? May I do good upon thee?
I’ll out of recreation make thee worthy,
Play honours to thy hand.
ROXANO
My lord?
MAZERES
Art thou resolv’d and I will be thy lord?
ROXANO
It will appear I am so.
Be proud of your revenge before I name it.
Never was man so fortunate in his hate;
I’ll give you a whole age but to think how.
MAZERES
Thou mak’st me thirst.
ROXANO
Tymethes meets me here.
MAZERES
Here? Excellent. On Roxano; he meets thee here.
ROXANO
I meant at first to betray all to you, sir;
Understand that, my lord.
MAZERES
I’faith, I do.
ROXANO
Then thus, my lord —
Enter Tymethes.
He comes.
MAZERES
Withdraw behind the lodge; relate it briefly.
[Roxano and Mazeres withdraw.]
TYMETHES
A delicate, sweet creature? ‘Slight, who should it be?
I must not know her name nor see her face?
It may be some trick to have my bones bastinadoed
Well, and so sent back again. What say you to a blanketing?
Faith, so ‘twere done by a lady and her chambermaids
I care not, for if they toss me in the blankets,
I’ll toss them in the sheets, and that’s one for th’ other.
A man may be led into a thousand villainies,
But the fellow swore enough,
And here’s blood apt enough to believe him.
MAZERES
I both admire the deed and my revenge.
ROXANO
My lord, I’ll make your way.
MAZERES
Thou mak’st thy friend.
Exit. [Roxano approaches Tymethes.]
TYMETHES
Art come? We meet e’en jump upon a minute.
ROXANO
Ay, but you’ll play the better jumper of the two;
I shall not jump so near as you by a handful.
TYMETHES
How! At a running leap?
ROXANO
That is more hard;
At a running leap you may give me a handful.
TYMETHES
So, so, what’s to be done?
ROXANO
Nothing but put this hood over your head.
TYMETHES
How? I never went blindfold before.
ROXANO
You never went otherwise, sir, for all folly is blind.
Besides, sir, when we see the sin we act,
We think each trivial crime a bloody fact.
TYMETHES
Well follow’d of a serving-man.
ROXANO
serving-men always follow their masters, sir.
TYMETHES
No, not in their mistresses.
ROXANO
There I leave you, sir.
TYMETHES
I desire to be left when I come there, sir.
But faith, sincerely, is there no trick in this?
Prithee, deal honestly with me.
ROXANO
Honestly, if protestation be not honest,
I know not what to call it.
TYMETHES
Why, if she affect me so truly, she
Might trust me with her knowledge; I could be secret
To her chief actions. Why, I love women too well.
ROXANO
She’ll trust you the worse for that, sir.
TYMETHES
Why, because I love women?
ROXANO
Oh, sir, ’tis most common,
He that loves women is ne’er true to woman.
Experience daily proves he loveth none
With a true heart that affects more than one.
TYMETHES
Your wit runs nimbly, sir; pray, use your pleasure.
ROXANO
Why, then goodnight, sir.
He puts on the hood.
TYMETHES
Mass, the candle’s out.
ROXANO
Oh, sir, the better sports taste best in th’ night,
And what we do in the dark we hate i’ th’ light.
TYMETHES
A good doer mayst thou prove for thy experience.
Come, give my thy hand; thou mayst prove an honest lad,
But however I’ll trust thee.
ROXANO
Oh, sir, first try me.
But we protract good hours; come, follow me, sir.
Why, this is right your sportive gallants prize:
Before they’ll lose their sport, they’ll lose their eyes.
Exeunt.