The Duke’s palace
Enter Almachildes.
ALMACHILDES
What a mad toy took me to sup with witches!
Fie of all drunken humours! By this hand,
I could beat myself when I think on’t; and the rascals
Made me good cheer, too: and to my understanding then
Ate some of every dish, and spoil’d the rest.
But coming to my lodging, I remember
I was as hungry as a tired foot-post.
What’s this?
[He takes a ribbon from his pocket.]
Oh, ’tis the charm her hagship gave me
For my duchess’ obstinate woman; wound about
A threepenny silk ribbon of three colours,
“Necte tribus nodis ternos Amoretta colores.”
Amoretta: why there’s her name indeed.
“Necte, Amoretta,” again, two boughts,
“Nodo et Veneris dic vincula necte.”
Nay, if Veneris be one, I’m sure there’s no dead flesh in’t.
If I should undertake to construe this now,
I should make a fine piece of work of it,
For few young gallants are given to good construction
Of anything, hardly of their best friends’ wives,
Sisters, or nieces. Let me see what I can do now.
“Necte tribus nodis,” Nick of the tribe of noddies, “ternos colores,” that makes turn’d colours, “nodo et Veneris,” goes to his venery like a noddy, “dic vincula,” with Dick the vintner’s boy. Here were a sweet charm now if this were the meaning on’t, and very likely to overcome an honourable gentlewoman. The whoreson old hellcat would have given me the brain of a cat once in my handkercher — I bade her make sauce with’t with a vengeance — and a little bone in the [nethermost] part of a wolf’s tail —
I bade her pick her teeth with’t with a pest’lence.
Nay, this is somewhat cleanly yet, and handsome.
A coloured ribbon? A fine, gentle charm;
A man may give’t his sister, his brother’s wife
Ordinarily.
Enter Amoretta.
See, here she comes luckily.
AMORETTA
Bless’d powers, what secret sin have I committed
That still you send this punishment upon me?
ALMACHILDES
’Tis but a gentle punishment, so take it.
[He clasps her and hides the charm on her.]
AMORETTA
Why, sir, what mean you? Will you ravish me?
ALMACHILDES
What, in the gallery? And the sun peep in?
There’s fitter time and place. [Aside] ’Tis in her bosom now.
AMORETTA
Go, you’re the rudest thing e’er came at court.
ALMACHILDES
[Aside] Well, well, I hope you’ll tell me another tale
Ere you be two hours older: a rude thing?
I’ll make you eat your word; I’ll make all split else.
Exit.
AMORETTA
Nay, now I think on’t better, I’m too blame, too.
There’s not a sweeter gentleman in court:
Nobly descended, too, and dances well.
Beshrew my heart; I’ll take him when there’s time,
He will be catch’d up quickly. The duchess says
Sh’as some employment for him, and has sworn me
To use by best art in’t. Life of my joys,
There were good stuff: I will not trust her with him.
I’ll call him back again: he must not keep
Out of my sight so long; I shall grow mad then.
Enter Duchess.
DUCHESS
[Aside] He lives not now to see tomorrow spent
If this means take effect, as there’s no hardness in’t.
Last night he play’d his horrid game again,
Came to my bedside at the full of midnight,
And in his hand that fatal, fearful cup;
Wak’d me, and forc’d me pledge him, to my trembling
And my dead father’s scorn; that wounds my sight
That his remembrance should be rais’d in spite.
But either his confusion or mine ends it. —
Oh, Amoretta, hast thou met him yet?
Speak, wench: hast done that for me?
AMORETTA
What, good madam?
DUCHESS
Destruction of my hopes; dost ask that now?
Didst thou not swear to me, out of thy hate
To Almachildes, thou’dst dissemble him
A loving entertainment and a meeting
Where I should work my will?
AMORETTA
Good madam, pardon me:
A loving entertainment I do protest
Myself to give him, with all speed I can, too,
But as I’m yet a maid, a perfect one
As the old time was wont to afford, when
There was few tricks and little cunning stirring,
I can dissemble none that will serve your turn.
He must have ev’n a right one, and a plain one.
DUCHESS
Thou makst me doubt thy health: speak, art thou well?
AMORETTA
Oh, never better. If he would make haste
And come back quickly: he stays now too long.
DUCHESS
[Aside] I’m quite lost in this woman.
[The ribbon falls from Amoretta’s bosom.]
What’s that fell
Out of her bosom now? Some love token.
AMORETTA
Nay, I’ll say that for him: he’s the uncivilest gentleman,
And every way desertless.
DUCHESS
[Aside] Who’s that now
She discommends so fast?
AMORETTA
I could not love him, madam,
Of any man in court.
DUCHESS
What’s he now, prithee?
AMORETTA
Who should it be but Almachildes, madam?
I never hated man so deeply yet.
DUCHESS
As Almachildes?
AMORETTA
I am sick, good madam,
When I but hear him named.
DUCHESS
How is this possible?
But now thou saidst thou lov’dst him, and didst raise him
‘Bove all the court in praises.
AMORETTA
How great people
May speak their pleasure, madam; but surely I
Should think the worse of my tongue while I liv’d then.
DUCHESS
No longer have I patience to forbear thee,
Thou that retain’st an envious soul to goodness.
He is a gentleman deserves as much
As ever fortune yet bestow’d on man,
The glory and prime lustre of our court,
Nor can there any but ourself be worthy of him;
And take you notice of that now from me,
Say you have warning on’t: if you did love him,
You must not now.
AMORETTA
Let your grace never fear it.
DUCHESS
Thy name is Amoretta, as ours is,
‘T has made me love and trust thee.
AMORETTA
And my faithfulness
Has appeared well i’ th’ proof still, has’t not, madam?
DUCHESS
But if’t fail now, ’tis nothing.
AMORETTA
Then it shall not.
I know he will not be long from flutt’ring
About this place now h’as had a sight of me,
And I’ll perform
In all that I vow’d, madam, faithfully.
DUCHESS
Then am I bless’d, both in revenge and love,
And thou shalt taste the sweetness.
Exit. Enter Almachildes.
AMORETTA
[Aside] What your aims be
I list not to enquire: all I desire
Is to preserve a computent honesty
Both for mine own and his use that shall have me,
Whose luck soe’er it be. Oh, he’s return’d already;
I knew he would not fail.
ALMACHILDES
[Aside] It works by this time
Or the devil’s in’t, I think: I’ll never trust witch else
Nor sup with ‘em this twelvemonth.
AMORETTA
[Aside] I must soothe him now,
And ’tis great pain to do’t against one’s stomach.
ALMACHILDES
Now, Amoretta?
AMORETTA
Now y’are well come, sir,
If you’ld come always thus.
ALMACHILDES
Oh, am I so?
Is the case alter’d since?
AMORETTA
If you’ld be [rul’d]
And know your times, ‘twere somewhat a great comfort.
‘Las, I could be as loving and as venturous
As any woman (we’re all flesh and blood, man)
If you could play the game out modestly
And not betray your hand. I must have care, sir.
You know I have a marriage-time to come,
And that’s for life: your best folks will be merry,
But look to the main chance, that’s reputation,
And then do what they list.
ALMACHILDES
Wilt hear my oath?
By the sweet health of youth, I will be careful
And never prate on’t, nor like a cunning snarer
Make thy clipp’d name the bird to call in others.
AMORETTA
Well, yielding then to such conditions
As my poor bashfulness shall require from you,
I shall yield shortly after.
ALMACHILDES
I’ll consent to ‘em,
And may thy sweet humility be a pattern
For all proud women living.
AMORETTA
They’re beholding to you.
Exeunt.