Saturday morning Charlie headed over to the Peachy farm, her thoughts on the day ahead. Something had happened between her and Nate in the store yesterday. A turning point in their relationship, a warm kind of friendship that she’d enjoyed, maybe too much. He’d seemed to like her company as they’d shopped. They’d laughed as they chose groceries and teased each other whenever one of them picked something off the shelf that they didn’t need or want. He’d made her feel better about her meeting with the bishop, but whatever happened, she knew she’d get over it. Teaching wasn’t the only thing she could do. She could take other work, perhaps working for Ellie cleaning houses.
The air had grown colder, reminding her that it was nearly Christmas. She needed to decide what to give everyone. She could make something for her sisters, but it was harder to think of a gift for their husbands. For her parents, she’d buy something special. Maybe she’d make Mam a new apron, then she’d purchase a toy for the dog her father loved so much that he’d brought it in from the barn to live in the house.
Once again her thoughts turned to Nate, as they did a lot lately. She’d like to give him something—and to Jacob, too. She’d spent time with both of them this month, and they’d become friends. It just felt right to give a gift to her friend. Except she wanted more with Nate, although she’d never tell him unless he told her first that he felt the same way.
She pulled up to the house and climbed out. Nate came out of the barn and waved to her.
“Charlie!” His smile made her heart sing. “I’m glad you came.” His face changed, filling with concern as he drew closer. “How are you?”
“I’m fine. No matter what happens I’ll be fine.”
Her breath caught when his mouth widened into a grin. “That’s the best way to think. Have you had breakfast?” he asked, startling her.
“Nay, I thought I’d fix us something.” She held up a plate. “And Mam sent muffins.”
“I’d like to make you eggs.”
She eyed him with shock. “You want to cook for me?”
He nodded. “You’ve done so much for us. I’d like to do something for you.”
“You don’t have to do that.” She swallowed against a tight throat.
“I want to.” His words made her heart beat more rapidly. He placed his hand at the small of her back as they walked toward the house together.
She halted at the back door. “Nathaniel, are you sick?”
He frowned. “Nay. Why do you ask?”
“You’re being nice to me. You want to cook for me.”
He shrugged but amusement glimmered in his blue eyes. “I’m sorry I’ve been such an ogre.”
“Nay, I didn’t mean that.” She bit her lip, conscious of his nearness and loving every moment. “’Tis just that you like to—”
“Tease you?”
“I was going to say ‘taunt’ but I guess you were only teasing.”
Nate bobbed his head. “I like teasing you.”
She tilted her head as she gazed up at him. “Why?”
“Because you rise to the bait so quickly.”
Understanding made her laugh. “I do, don’t I?”
“Ja, you do.”
They exchanged grins.
The new warmth in their relationship made her happy. “Well, now that I know, it’s going to be harder to get a rise out of me.”
“Will it?” he said as he reached around her to open the door.
The kitchen was warm and bright as the sun shone through the windows—one over the sink and one next to the back entrance.
Nate gestured toward the kitchen table. “Have a seat.”
Charlie studied him. “Why do you want to feed me?”
“I told you... I want to do something nice for you.”
“Wouldn’t it have been easier to buy me an ice cream?”
His dark eyes gleamed. “You like ice cream? Perhaps another day after the weather warms again.” Then something in his gaze clouded, and Charlie understood. She would no longer be around him then. He and she would never eat ice cream or do anything else together after his parents came home.
Jacob used crutches as he entered the kitchen from the other room. “Gut morning, Charlie.”
She smiled at him warmly. “How are you feeling?”
“Better,” he said as he pulled out a chair and sat down. His brows rose as he watched his brother take eggs out of the refrigerator and place a pan on the stove. “You’re making breakfast?”
She shrugged when she met Jacob’s gaze. “Apparently, he wants to do something nice for me.”
Jacob’s eyes narrowed as he turned back to his brother. “You want to do something nice for Charlie?” he asked doubtfully.
Without deviating from the task, Nate nodded. “And you.”
Jacob leaned close to her ear. “I wonder what’s come over him?”
She laughed. “I asked if he was sick,” she whispered. Nate spun to gaze at them through narrowed eyes. She grinned at him. “Your bruder is wondering what’s come over you,” she told him.
He stared at his brother. “I’ve cooked for you before.”
“True, but not when there was a woman in the kitchen.”
“Mam was near.”
“That’s different.”
Nate scowled. “I want to do something nice for her. What’s wrong with that?”
Charlie regarded him softly. “Nothing, Nathaniel. Nothing at all. In fact, I like it.” She smirked. “I might expect it more often.”
His gaze grew tender. “We’ll see, little one.”
She frowned. Was he reminding her of their age difference? As far as she was concerned, there was no difference.
“What do you have to do today, Nate?” Jacob asked.
“Just a few farm chores and there’s work to be done inside.”
Charlie jerked as she stared at him. “You don’t need me to stay.”
“Ja, I do,” he assured her. “I need someone to keep an eye on this one. If not, he’s liable to get into trouble.”
She relaxed. “Can’t get into trouble if we’re playing Aggravation.”
Jacob laughed. “You mean if I beat you at every game we play.”
“You wish.” Charlie sensed Nate’s gaze on her. She saw a flicker of emotion that he quickly masked.
He set a plate of scrambled eggs, sausage and toast before her and Jacob. “Enjoy,” he said huskily before he turned back to the stove. She watched as he washed up the utensils and pans he used and set them to drain.
“Aren’t you joining us?” she asked as he started to dry and put everything away.
“No time,” Nate said.
She didn’t understand. Then why did he stop to fix her breakfast? Nathaniel Peachy was a confusing man. A kind and complex man, who was thoughtful and wonderful, and she liked him. But there were times she didn’t understand him at all. She stood to help him.
“Sit,” he ordered. “Eat before your food gets cold.”
“Nate.”
“You’ve got games to play and I have work to do.”
She eyed him with concern. “Nate. Is something bothering you?”
His smile didn’t quite reach his blue gaze. “I’m fine.”
Charlie nodded and let him be. There was nothing else she could do. She watched him leave the room and heard him go upstairs. If she knew what had upset him, maybe she could help.
Jacob was clearly enjoying the breakfast that Nate had made for him. He seemed oblivious to his brother’s mood, and he had always impressed her as a man who was quick with his concern.
Moments later Nate entered the kitchen on his way out the door. “I thought I’d go to the store first. Anything either of you need?”
Charlie shook her head. “I’m fine.” She experienced a sniggle of uneasiness when he didn’t look at her. “Didn’t you buy everything you needed yesterday?”
He met her gaze. “I wouldn’t be going to the store if I had, would I?”
His sharp tone made her stomach burn as the brothers exchanged looks before Nate left. She watched him go with a disturbing feeling of loss. She shouldn’t feel this way. It wasn’t as if she had his affection to begin with.
Jacob reached for his coffee. “Aggravation, Dutch Blitz or Life on the Farm?” There was a twinkle and challenge in his blue eyes so like his brother’s.
She managed to laugh. “Doesn’t matter. You pick. I’ll trounce you in whatever we play.”
* * *
Nate climbed into his buggy, his heart aching. Charlie and Jacob got along well together. His brother was a good man, and while it would kill him to see them married and with children, he understood that Jacob would make Charlie a good husband. Not that he would shove Jake in Charlie’s direction. He would step back and watch it happen...and deal with the pain of seeing it all take place.
He steered his horse toward the new general store just outside Happiness. The shop had a great hardware section and he needed a new doorknob for his sister’s bedroom. On the way there, he passed the farm he wanted to purchase and decided to stop and speak with the owner to make an offer on the land. To his delight, the man accepted it. Pleased, Nate continued to the store, then shopped with heightened spirits. He easily found what he needed then meandered through the rest of the shop looking for something for Jacob to give Charlie for her birthday. He still had work to do on the horse he’d carved for her, but there was time yet to finish it up.
He looked for the game aisle and finally saw all of their Amish community favorites. The only game that Charlie didn’t have was Life on the Farm. He grabbed the box and continued down the row. He wished he could think of another gift for Charlie, something special. What if she didn’t like the hand-carved figure?
His thoughts grew dark as he completed his purchase. Why should it matter whether or not she liked his gift? It wasn’t as if she’d ever belong to him. She’d find a suitor and marry someone else. He scowled. Jacob.
The air stayed chilly and he knew he’d have to think about Christmas sooner than expected. As he drove toward home, he forced his feelings for Charlie from his mind and made a mental list of the tasks that needed to be done today. He needed to paint the outside window he’d recently replaced but the temperature was too cold. He’d fix his sister’s bedroom doorknob, then tackle the various other items that needed to be done inside. He didn’t really want to work in the house. Watching Charlie and Jacob together made his gut wrench.
A half hour later, as Nate worked on replacing the door, Charlie exited his room with a basket of laundry. “What are you doing?” he snapped irritably.
She halted and stared at him. “The wash.”
“You don’t have to do mine.”
He saw hurt flash in her pretty green eyes and felt mean. “I’ve been doing it for nearly a week, Nate,” she said quietly. “I like washing clothes.” She paused and her face turned pale. “You don’t want me to touch your garments.”
He closed his eyes and struggled to soften his tone. “You don’t have to.”
“I know,” she said and started toward the stairs.
His thoughts in turmoil, he returned to the work, turned the screwdriver one last time to tighten it and cried out as his tool slipped with the end digging into his finger.
Charlie was suddenly beside him, her expression concerned, her laundry basket on the floor next to her. “What happened?”
“A bit of an accident. I’m fine.”
She gazed down at the redness of his injury and grabbed his other hand. “Downstairs now.”
The last thing he needed or wanted was to be this close to Charlie. “Nay,” he snapped. “I said I’m fine.”
She jerked as if struck. “I see.” She retrieved the laundry basket and started to descend the stairs, pausing on one to scold, “I wasn’t expecting anything from you, Nathaniel Peachy. I would have offered to help anyone!”
Then she left him standing in the hallway, his heart aching, his chest hurting. He put the screwdriver away, then waited a moment to get his emotions under control. He heard the washer lid slam, realized that even while angry, she had put his dirty laundry in to wash. With a sigh of regret, Nate went down to check on Jacob. His brother was asleep. Apparently, Charlie’s fit of temper, although justified, hadn’t disturbed Jacob in the least.
Wound tighter than a metal coil, Nate drew in a calming breath then entered the kitchen. She barely looked at him as she prepared a meal on the stove. Feeling properly chastened, he left the house for the barn. Where he had things to do, he assured himself. Finishing Charlie’s present was just one of them.
* * *
A light snow fell Sunday morning as Charlie and her family climbed into their buggy and headed toward church service. Her cousin Elijah and his wife, Martha, were hosting today. Mam and Ellie had fixed side dishes for the shared community meal after church. Before she’d left the Peachy house yesterday, she had made a bowl of macaroni salad for Nate and Jacob to bring. The macaroni salad had turned out well. Jacob had tasted it and proclaimed it delicious while threatening to eat every bit. Coming in from outside, Nate had gazed at the huge bowl then studied her with a thoughtful look that made her uncomfortable. Tension had hung in the air between them, bringing her to the verge of tears, but she managed not to cry. At his brother’s urging, Nate had tasted it then given her a compliment. As his small praise raised her spirits, she’d realized that she was deeply affected by his moods.
Cradling a dried apple pie, Charlie stared out the window as her father drove the buggy. The scent of cinnamon and apples drifted to her nose, tempting her to take a taste, but she didn’t. She couldn’t eat even if she wanted to. She felt butterflies at the prospect of seeing Nate. Maybe later, after service, she’d feel well enough to eat.
She enjoyed church as she looked around Elijah and Martha’s great room, happy to see her family and friends and neighbors. Across the room in the men’s section sat Jacob and Nathaniel. Nate held his brother’s arm as Jacob stood, propped up on his crutches. Jacob glanced over at her and smiled. Her lips curved before her gaze settled on his older brother. As if sensing her study, Nate locked gazes with her. She caught her breath as she nodded then turned away. Heart racing wildly, she joined in to sing another hymn from the Ausbund. And silently prayed to get what she wanted most. The teaching job and a life with Nate.
Bishop John Fisher spoke during the service, followed by Preacher Levi. When it was over, Charlie joined the women in bringing out the food for the shared meal. She heard talk of her cousins organizing a baseball team. Normally, Charlie would have been eager to join in. But not this day. If she wanted to be teacher and to earn others’ respect, she needed to be responsible and act her age. When Isaac came looking for her to play, she politely declined with the excuse that she wasn’t up to it today. The day was warmer than it had been yesterday. When she peeked through the window to see how the game was going, she saw the young men of the community wearing their long white shirts with their black Sunday best vests and pants. The last thing she should do was play baseball in her Sunday best dress and slide in the dirt to score a home run. Her mother would tolerate it, simply because she was a loving parent, but Mam wouldn’t be happy if her good clothes got dirty or ripped.
She turned away from the sight and gasped. Nate Peachy stood behind her with a tense look on his handsome face. “What’s wrong? Is it Jacob?”
The man shook his head. “Jacob’s fine.” He was silent as he moved toward the window and glanced outside. “Why aren’t you playing baseball?”
Charlie gave him a twisted smile. “Not feeling up to it. Besides, I’m wearing my church clothes and Mam won’t appreciate it if I play in them.” And she knew he didn’t approve.
He turned from the window to study her intently. A small smile curved his lips. “I suppose she wouldn’t.”
“Jacob must be disappointed that he can’t play.”
“I’m sure he is but he’ll get back to it eventually.”
As she joined him at the window, Charlie sighed, for she had a feeling that her baseball-playing days were over.
“Charlie—” His voice rumbled from beside her. There was something so private about standing so close to him.
She met his gaze. “Ja?”
He shook his head.
She frowned. “Your family will be home soon?”
“Ja. I got a message that my grossmudder is doing better. They’ll be home this week.”
“I see.” She knew a sharp disappointment.
“I appreciate all you’ve done for us.”
The gratitude in his gaze bothered her. “It wasn’t any trouble.”
“Charlie!” a familiar voice called from across the room.
“My sister’s demanding my attention. I guess Mam and Dat are ready to leave.” She forced a smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Unless you don’t want me. She started to walk away then stopped after Nate gently clasped her arm.
“Danki,” he said softly with heartfelt thanks.
“Charlie!” Ellie called, waving her to come.
“I’ve got to go.” She walked a few steps then halted to face him. Her face warmed at the look in his eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Then she flashed him a grin and left. Snow started to fall as her father steered their buggy home.
The next morning, bright and early after doing her chores, Charlie arrived at the Peachy residence. Yesterday’s snow lay across the ground like a transparent white blanket. She entered the house, and Nate murmured a quick greeting to her before he left her alone to spend time with Jacob. She didn’t mind. Jacob was good company and despite how frustrating it must be for him with the boot on his foot, he was pleasant and fun to be with. Which didn’t mean she didn’t long to spend time with Nate.
Nate didn’t come in for lunch. She knew he was working in the barn so she made him a sandwich and poured him a cup of coffee, then headed out to give it to him while Jake tucked in for a nap.
She felt a burst of nervous excitement as she carried Nate’s lunch across the yard. Yesterday he’d wanted her here.
It was dark inside the barn when she entered. Not wanting to frighten him, Charlie called out. “Nate! I’ve brought you something to eat!”
He popped his head up over one of the barn stalls. “Charlie. What are you doing here?”
His brow furrowed, he sounded annoyed.
An ache settled within her chest. “I brought you lunch. I know you’re busy.” She set the plate and cup on a table outside a stall several yards away. “I’ll just leave it here.” Her throat felt tight. She was just trying to do something nice for him. She spun to leave. “I’ll see you later.”
She had taken only a few steps when he was beside her. “Charlie.” She looked up at him, saw tenderness in his expression. She blinked, sure it would be gone when she gazed at him again. To her astonishment, he reached out to cup her cheek. “You brought me lunch.”
She nodded, aware of the way her skin tingled where he touched her. “I wasn’t sure, but I thought you might be hungry.”
He smiled as she stepped back, and she felt the loss of his warmth. “I am. Danki.”
She hesitated. It was none of her business what he was doing, but she admitted to herself that she was curious. “Do you need any help?”
He frowned. “Where’s Jacob?”
“Resting.”
Nate shook his head. “I’m managing fine, Charlie. You should get back inside in case Jacob needs you.”
She walked away, feeling as if she’d been scolded. Then anger lit a fire in her, and she spun. “You know something, Nathaniel Peachy? I don’t know what to say or how to act around you! You can be wonderfully kind one minute then cold and unfeeling the next!”
Then she turned and hurried out, blinded by tears. So she’d told him off. So what? It wasn’t as if she’d had a prayer that he’d want a relationship with her. Still, as she ran toward the house, she prayed that she would be proven wrong and that Nate would one day see her as someone he could love and marry. She sniffed. She shouldn’t want that, but she couldn’t help herself. Her heart wanted him, and she couldn’t control it.
Nate returned to the house not long after she did. She was embarrassed by her early outburst. “You can head home,” he said gruffly.
And so she left. She wondered if he’d want her back but she didn’t ask, certain that he was angry enough to want her to stay away.
Her mother looked relieved to see her when she got home. “Gut!” she exclaimed. “Endie Katie has invited us for supper, and I was afraid you’d be late. She wants to pick holly and cut pine for Christmas after we eat.”
Charlie frowned. “It’s only three o’clock.”
“She invited us for four thirty,” Mam said.
“Plenty of time.” Enough for her to put on clean clothes. “Is Ellie home?”
“Ja. She came home at noon.”
She nodded. “I’m going upstairs and wash up a bit.”
“How is Jacob?”
“Gut. He’s doing much better.”
“When are Abram and Charlotte due back?”
“Any day.” Abram’s wife, Charlotte King Peachy, had the same first name as hers, which was why everyone within the community called her Charlie since her family’s move to Happiness, her father’s boyhood home, years ago. She didn’t mind the nickname; she was young then, and the name had seemed to fit.
They headed toward her aunt Katie’s shortly after. She wondered why they were going so early, but then she recalled that the days were getting shorter, and she figured that her father didn’t want to drive in the dark. Just last week he’d heard about a terrible buggy accident toward New Holland. It had been dark, and the family had put on their running lights; yet, a car had come up from behind them and hit them, forcing the vehicle off the road. Sometimes one had to go out in the dark, but still it made one think twice after hearing of such a terrible accident. All four Amish members had been hospitalized. They had survived but with serious injuries. Bishop John had mentioned them during church yesterday and asked everyone to remember them in their prayers. Charlie had. She’d thought about them this morning and asked the Lord to grant them a speedy recovery.
There were three other buggies in the Samuel Lapp barnyard when they arrived.
“Your cousins,” her mother told her before she could ask.
Charlie smiled. She couldn’t wait to see her cousins and their wives. She saw them at church service, but there was never enough time to do more than briefly chat with them. Ellie climbed out of the buggy first and grabbed the pie from her.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry,” her sister said.
“I could eat.” Charlie climbed out and reached for the pie. Ellie shook her head and told her she’d carry it in.
The door swung open as Charlie climbed the porch steps, reaching it first. “Charlie!” Her cousin Hannah grinned at her. She was the youngest member of the Lapp family and the only daughter in a family of eight children. “Come in!” The girl glanced over her shoulder. “Charlie’s here!” she called.
Suddenly, she was being dragged into the great room, where she faced a mass of familiar faces. “Surprise!” everyone called. “Happy birthday!”
Charlie felt her jaw drop as shock rendered her speechless. Her married sisters, Nell, Meg and Leah, were there with their husbands. All of her cousins were present as well as the Zooks, the Troyers and the Kings. She experienced a jolt of pleasure when her gaze encountered Nate Peachy, who stood next to Jacob, steadying his brother on crutches. He smiled and mouthed “Happy birthday.”
Behind the brothers was their family, who must have returned within the last hour. She suffered a heavy heart as she forced herself to smile brightly. There would be no more time with Jacob. No more time with Nate.
“Are you oll recht?” Nell asked. As if sensing something wrong, her eldest sister had approached silently from behind.
She nodded, still without speaking. Everyone was looking at her, and she was the center of attention, this time not because of trouble but for something good. Still, it wasn’t happy she felt. It was sadness because of Nate. But she would force herself to be happy for her aunt and uncle and everyone who had come to celebrate her birthday.
“First time I’ve known Charlie to be speechless!” her cousin Isaac called out.
Everyone laughed. Charlie, face red, eyed her cousin. “Don’t get used to it, Isaac!” she shot back, which made everyone roar with laughter. Even Nate Peachy laughed and looked amused.
“Food’s ready,” her aunt declared, and everyone dispersed.
Her father approached and studied her warmly. “Nineteen. My youngest dochter is nineteen. ’Tis hard to believe.”
“Because I still act as I did when I was fourteen?”
He shook his head. “Nay, because you’re a woman now and I want to keep my little girl.”
“Ah, Dat.” She became emotional.
Her father drew a sharp breath. “I’m not ready for you to marry.”
Charlie jerked. “Who says I’ll marry?”
“You will when the right man comes along,” her mother said as she slipped her arm around her waist.
“I doubt anyone would be brave enough to take me on,” Charlie said drily.
“By some of the looks you’ve been getting today, I can tell you you’re mistaken.” Mam nodded toward the corner of the room. “Jacob Peachy seems fond of you.”
She smiled. “Jacob and I are gut friends.” And it wasn’t Jacob who had grabbed her interest; it was his older brother. An impossible situation.
“Charlie, come and eat,” her cousin Hannah urged.
“I’m coming.” Her mother released her and joined her father. Hannah grabbed her arm and tugged her toward the food table in the kitchen. Charlie glanced back and saw her parents’ amusement with Hannah as they followed them into the other room.
They ate a delicious meal of Charlie’s favorite foods—fried chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, coleslaw, fresh yeast rolls and fried apples. After filling their plates with food, everyone moved back to the great room to eat. Charlie stood off to the side, picking at her meal while watching everyone in the room. She’d been greatly moved that her aunt would host a birthday party for her, that everyone had come and seemed to be having a good time. Nineteen. She was nineteen years old, and she had yet to figure out what she would do with her life if she didn’t manage the next step, which was to be teacher at their Happiness School. Today was for celebration, she reminded herself. Not for contemplating all the reasons that she wasn’t going to get the job.
Someone approached from her left side—Matt Troyer, her brother-in-law James Pierce’s half-brother. “Aren’t you going to open your presents?” he asked with a grin.
Charlie shook her head as horror clutched her chest. She didn’t want to open presents in front of everyone. “’Tis not my birthday until Wednesday,” she reasoned.
Her gaze swept across the room, zooming in on Nate Peachy, the man who’d stolen her heart and made her breath catch. Matt hadn’t moved. He watched her with a glimmer of admiration. She was flattered, but she didn’t need his attention as other than a friend.
She turned her head to find Nate studying her. His expression was unreadable.
“Is there cake?” she asked Matt. “I love cake. Don’t you?”
Charlie continued to feel Nate’s gaze as she and Matt left the room for the kitchen, where cake, pies and a number of other desserts sat out on the counter.