Hkcta nbk Hgyci Yozzgncut ul Krnxguxjctgxcfs Iuzvfcignkj Kpktny, Fkgjcta nu nbk Jcyiupkxs ul g Yohyngtik ul Otyvkgeghfk Xkpufoncutgxs Czvuxngtik nu nbk Bozgt Xgik
Yohzcnnkj hs Agynut nbk Zgatclciktn
Being the Basic Summation of Extraordinarily Complicated Events, Leading to the Discovery of a Substance of Unspeakable Revolutionary Importance to the Human Race
Submitted by Gaston the Magnificent
Hkact qcnb Cycy bcvvoxcy, ghupk gff gtj qcnbuon qbcib tunbcta igt bgvvkt.
Begin with Isis hippuris, above all and without which nothing can happen.
Gjj nbk ygfohxcuoy gtj igngfsncigffs zgxpkfuoy kllkiny ovut nbcy yohyngtik, jkxcpkj lxuz nbk luffuqcta qgnkx yuoxiky:
Add the salubrious and catalytically marvelous effects upon this substance, derived from the following water sources:
* Vxkykxpkj qcnb nbk nctinoxk ul iucf joyn lxuz nbk Eumbcz Xcpkx
* Preserved with the tincture of coil dust from the Kozhim River
* Krnxginkj lxuz nbk xkj iugn ul nbk gticktn qkn xcpkx buxyk lxuz nbk yuoxik ul nbk Xcpkx Ynsr
* Extracted from the red coat of the ancient wet river horse from the source of the River Styx
* Ngekt lxuz g aufl hgff’y iktnkx ct nbk lgn zuotngcty ul Zkrciu
* Taken from a golf ball’s center in the fat mountains of Mexico
* Jkxcpkj lxuz nbk hfgie yzkgx ul knkxtcns lxuz Gxzgtju ul Egnbzgtjo
* Derived from the black smear of eternity from Armando of Kathmandu
* Xkyiokj lxuz g bun igpk ct nbk quxfj’y iufjkyn fgtj zgyy
* Rescued from a hot cave in the world’s coldest land mass
A slap on the desk woke Alex up. She lurched up from a curled-up position on her chair. Her back hurt, and each click of the old clock on the wall sounded like a bone breaking.
“Brrrmff!” snorted Nigel, who had been slumped over his desk, also asleep.
“Chhhhh . . .” snored Bitsy, who was on the floor, using her coat as a mattress.
“Read it . . . read it . . .” sang Max as he danced around the room, singing to an old Michael Jackson tune.
With a groan, Alex picked up the decoded page and read. Nigel leaned forward and angled the paper so he could see it. Now Bitsy was staggering over too. “He finished?” she said. “How long have we been here, a week?”
But Alex was barely hearing her. The message was turning her brain inside out. “This is amazing, Max.”
“Brilliant . . .” the old man said.
“Well, Kathmandu is familiar because I know someone there,” Bitsy said. “But what does the rest mean? ‘Isis hippuris’? ‘Coil dust’? ‘Wet river horse’? ‘Golf ball’s center’? ‘Black smear of eternity’?”
“Isis hippuris is a type of coral that’s also called sea fan, which we already have,” Alex said. “No idea about the rest.”
“This doesn’t scare you?” Bitsy said.
“We’ll figure out the locations,” Max said. “Kathmandu is a start. It’s in Nepal and Nepal has yaks, and yaks are my favorite animal.”
Alex burst out laughing. “Uh, Max . . . ?”
“What?”
“You said you never wanted to travel again.”
“I don’t. I want a normal life.” Max sighed. “But Evelyn wants a normal life too. And she can’t have one.”
“Evelyn?” Bitsy asked.
“Max’s friend,” Alex explained. “She has a condition called scleroderma.”
“It makes scar tissue form on your skin, like you had an injury—only it happens for no reason, and the skin stays hard and stiff,” Max said. “It can form over large parts of your body. It ends up affecting the blood vessels. And then the blood stops flowing. There’s no cure for what she has. Odds are one hundred percent she’ll die soon.”
“That’s harsh,” Bitsy said.
“It’s a fact,” Max replied. “I don’t know what the odds are for this whole mission to succeed. But even if it’s like one percent possible, that’s better than zero. What if we can make it work, and then get scientists to make more of the formula? All we need to do is find these ingredients and give it a try.”
“Five ingredients from all over the world, in places we can’t even figure out,” Bitsy reminded him. “The information we have is coded, vague, and brief. It’s just a list. There are no instructions of what to look for and look out for. Are you sure you’re ready to do this?”
Max closed his eyes and recited in a monotone: “‘Sometimes you can’t be ready to do the things you really need to do. You just do them. And that makes you ready.’ It’s the Alex Verne motto.”
“I can’t believe you remember that,” Alex said.
“You are one remarkable lad,” Nigel said, wiping his brow. “You give me faith in humanity. But you and your cousin are young. May I suggest the obvious—that you would benefit from adult guidance and expertise?”
“You mean, you?” Alex asked.
As Nigel nodded, Alex gave Max a look. She didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t really imagined taking on this adventure with anyone but Max. “I don’t think so. Max and I are kind of a team.”
“Tell me, do you know where the Kozhim River is?” Nigel asked.
“Not offhand,” Max said. “But it’s easy enough to—”
“Russia,” Nigel shot back. “In one of the northern republics—Komi, I believe. As a dancer I traveled the world, and I speak fluent Greek, Russian, Spanish, French, German, and Mandarin. Also a smidgen of Tibetan and Nepali. I may be advanced in years, but I am agile! Crafty too—without old Nigel you never would have decoded the message at all.”
“Oh, it does sound ever so exciting,” Bitsy added, her eyes wide and hopeful. “I would love to help. Would you consider expanding to four? I’ve spent summers trekking through Arabian deserts, rock climbing, scuba diving, and such. I won’t tell Mummy, if you’re uncomfortable about her connection to Stinky. I’ll say you’ve invited me on a little Mediterranean jaunt in your private plane. That’s the truth, after all—sort of.”
“Stinky?” Nigel said.
“Long story.” Alex took Max by the arm. “This is kind of confusing. Give us a minute. Talk among yourselves.”
Together they left the room, and Alex pulled the door shut. “What do we do, Max? It’s one thing to solve codes together, but so far it’s been just you and me.”
“We could just run now,” Max replied.
“I don’t even know if we can do this,” Alex said, pulling out her phone. “It’s a small jet.”
She quickly texted Brandon:
hey. wd there be rm on jet for 2 more peeps?
“What if he says yes?” Max said.
Alex took a deep breath. “I don’t know, maybe they’d be a help. Everything they said makes sense. We could use the skills and brainpower. And we don’t have time for do-overs, not if we’re going to help Evelyn.”
“But what if they try to steal our discoveries?” Max said.
Alex nodded. “I guess it’s a risk. But the waters won’t do any good without the Isis hippuris. And we have that, Max. In Ohio. The waters won’t work without it.”
From inside the closed room, Alex heard a sudden, “Ha!”
Then Bitsy’s voice, slightly muffled: “What is it, Nigel?”
Alex and Max both inched closer to listen.
“‘Extracted from the red coat of the ancient wet river horse from the source of the River Styx . . .’” Nigel’s voice replied. “I believe I know where that would be.”
“River Styx led to the underworld,” Bitsy said. “It’s not a real place.”
“Ah, but like many legends, it was based on something observed,” came Nigel’s answer. “Scholars believe the journey began when the dead entered a boat on a river in the northern Peloponnese called the Mavronéri, which means ‘black water.’ But it is in the southern entrance, at the caves near Pirgos Dirou, where the locals believe the underworld actually began! Yes, that would be a splendid place to start. I will collect some vials. We will need different sizes. And I believe I can conjure up a large collection canister that will hold them all . . . .”
Max sighed. “I don’t know what to think. Can you tell me what to think?”
Alex laughed. “Would you listen to me?”
“This time, yeah,” Max said.
She closed her eyes. The voices on the other side of the door were rising—Bitsy and Nigel, brewing up all kinds of ideas. Collecting things for the trip.
They’re not Spencer Niemand, she thought. They weren’t André and Pandora and Niemand’s other wicked cohorts. She and Max had succeeded despite that bunch of criminals. It would be amazing to have smart people on their side. Good people.
“Yeah,” she said softly. “I think we should do it. With them.”
“Then I think so too,” Max replied.
Alex felt her phone vibrate in her palm, and she looked at the message.
yup. 7-seater. works fine. can b ready 2 go anytime. at this short notice only cleared for athens ok?
“Your boyfriend?” Max asked.
Ignoring him, Alex opened the door and barged into the room. “Wheels up in twenty,” she announced. “Everybody’s invited to the party.”