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“What was Jonas thinking?” I murmured as I peered through the glass doors leading to the pool, “I can’t believe I’m upset and have been this way since I came home and had to get used to seeing a different man. Max with a man’s face I still can’t get used to, and Jonas strolling around with the face I’d fallen in love with.” It took time for me to realize I would never see that face again on Max, and now every time I looked at Jonas, I had to be reminded of my loss and how empty I felt when Max held me in his arms at night.
I wished Jonas would leave because he had come between me and Max being happy. I couldn’t have sex with Max without thinking about Jonas. I didn’t want to think of Jonas. I wanted my Max back. But I couldn’t get him back, and I felt lonely, empty, and selfish.
If I felt this terrible, I wondered how my children felt having to see a different man’s face looking at them every day. I hope they could adjust because it was taking too long for me.
“Mom. Mom. What are you looking at? I’ve been calling you.” I turned and saw my teenage son, Maxim. He strode beside me and glanced out. “Isn’t it wonderful to have Uncle Jonas and Father home and you too. I missed you so much.” Maxim turned to me and held me tight. “I missed you so much, Mom. Promise me you won’t leave us again.”
“I promise you, Maxim. Now what’s wrong?”
“I wanted your permission to take the car out because I have a girl.” I grabbed my son and reached for his face. “A girl. I remember you being seven and—”
“And that was a long time ago, Mom. Don’t start that, now can I take the car Dad bought me and take her out?”
“When can I meet her?”
“I hope never. Mom, you know how you are. You’re going to tell her all kinds of things and show her pictures of me when I was seven. My ears were too large for my head—”
“But you looked so cute.”
“Mom. Please. Dad said if it was alright with you, then it’s okay.”
“Go ahead and don’t take any of those fast cars, and especially not the Porsche. Take the Jeep.”
“I told her I was rich and now you send me to pick her up in a Jeep.”
“Don’t tell anyone that we’re rich,” I said as I watched Maxim collect a set of car keys hanging in the area near the garage. “Make sure you’re back by twelve.” Maxim scowled as if he’d lost his best friend. “And don’t say a word. And who is this girl?”
“You don’t know her.” Before I could open the terrace door to confirm with Max it was okay, he’d slipped out of the house and I heard the motor, then the silence as I found myself looking down at Max and Jonas who seemed to be at peace while I stayed in turmoil.
“Max, did you tell Maxim it was okay to take a car and go on a date?”
“Yeah. The boy’s sixteen—”
“Not quite sixteen,” I corrected him. “He’s my son and this is Texas, and he could get into trouble before we know it.”
“Maxim is a good kid. Let him go. How else is he going to learn anything, and how to be a man if you baby him?” Jonas said.
“You stay out of this, Jonas. This is between me and my husband, and besides, where is your wife and child? You don’t have any children and you don’t know what it is to raise a son.” I had said too much and realized it too late.
Jonas raised his brow, and tightened his jaw to keep from speaking his mind like a schoolboy afraid of the teacher. When Jonas spoke, his words weren’t that of a boy, but a man—a man I knew well, who when his back was against the wall, and he felt threatened would lash out, and he did with the following words, “Have you forgotten, you and Max are divorced, and besides, I helped raise Maxim when you and Max were away.” Jonas stared at me not with contempt, but with concern darting in his eyes as they wavered between me and Max, looking for what, I didn’t know.
“I’m sorry, Jonas. I didn’t mean to say that.” It was all too true what Jonas had carelessly brought to my attention. Whether Max understood it the way Jonas had, I wasn’t sure. Max always thought of me as his wife, and no matter who I’d married I would still be Mrs. Blackstone, the wife or possession of Maximillian Blackstone and the mother to his children.
It was as simple as that.
“It’s okay, Alex, I may have overstepped my boundaries to make a point. I know your hormones are responsible because you’re pregnant.”
“I’m not pregnant, Jonas. How do you know—” Max interrupted when he saw I had gotten upset, and I had been that a lot lately since the incident on Christian’s yacht.
“He didn’t mean anything, Alex. Calm down and relax. Let’s go to bed.”
“How can I sleep with Maxim riding around these dangerous Texas highways, drunk drivers, and where they carry guns like we’re in Deadwood and it’s the shootout at the Okay Corral every night... and we don’t know who’s his girl and where he is.”
“There’s a tracker on the car, and if he stays out too late, we can find him. Don’t worry baby, and speaking of Deadwood...” Max stood and waggled his eyebrows, and as always I felt secure in his words. It even felt comforting that he thought to interject a little humor which was not like the old Max. I was loving the new Max. As long as the old Max was there, I felt secure and I knew my family would be fine.
As we turned hand-in-hand to walk away, Jonas shouted, “What time is your doctor’s appointment?”
Why the fuck did he want to remind me that I could be pregnant just when Max and I were going to make up for lost time.
“It’s at ten forty-five. You still have time to see your girlfriend and meet me in the morning. Why don’t you, Jonas? It would do you good to be with someone.”
I was being polite, but every time I thought about Jonas lying with another woman after what we’d done together, had me hot and ready for Max. It seemed I needed to get used to Max’s new face, because it had always been that old Jonas’s face and body that had my clit quivering for Max’s tongue when he placed it between my legs.
As Max led me to our secret room away from everyone, it was the look of Jonas which had sustained my eagerness to have Max inside me.
Max had changed, and it appeared I wasn’t ready for that change. I’d gotten used to the cold and aloof Max, not the caring and adoring Max.
Whenever Max closed the door to our room, I saw the desire in his greenish-blue eyes. There was a dangerous glow about them and I knew what he wanted, but the new Max would never say unless I said it first. As much as he wanted to be a gentleman, I wanted none of it. I’d missed him and wanted to get back to our old routine.
“I’m going to prepare the bath,” Max said. “You should be pampered because I’m going to be a father again.”
“Max, please not in this room. This is for us.”
“I forgot, baby. Every time you’re with child, I forget and look at you one way—”
I had to stop him. “Remember how you treated me when I was pregnant, I don’t want to be treated that way any longer. I want to spread my legs, and I want you on your knees in front of me. I want your head in my pussy and your mouth on my clit... Now I need a bath first.”
I lost my shirt, and discarded my jeans, stepped out of my underwear and bra, and just when I was about to turn, Max caught me and brought me to him. He kneeled on the floor.
“I want you to marry me, Alex?”
“Are you sure?” I stupidly asked, because I had the thoughts of Jonas swirling around my head and how guilty I felt, because of what Christian had commanded me to do with Jonas. Max wrapped his large hands on each of my butt cheeks and brought me close to his face. He opened his mouth, and the warmth of his lips touched my folds, and he reached and placed his finger to open them.
Max looked at me. “I can tell when you’re pregnant. Your clit swells.”
I looked down. “No it isn’t. I need to take a bath.”
“I don’t want you to bathe yet. I need to taste you and smell you the way you are now.”
Max wouldn’t let me go as he tightened his hands around my butt, then placed his imaginative hungry tongue on my clit, and made it quiver with need. My head fell back, my hands raked and fisted a large strand of his beautiful dark hair when I punched my hips forward, and fucked his face as he sucked and moaned, and I groaned calling out his name, because of the sexy nasty thoughts of meeting and allowing a stranger to eat me raw, and give me a stimulating mindless orgasm that went on and on with me breathing hard.
Each time I glanced down at his stranger-like face, the fantasy thoughts of a stranger fucking me, or was it Jonas, had me calling out, “Fuck me.”