Mina was half-asleep when her mother, Darya, called to say that she’d found the perfect gift for her twenty-fifth birthday. “His name is Mr. Dashti,” Darya said, almost breathless on the phone. “Two degrees, a PhD and an MBA. He’s a descendant of the third cousin of Reza Shah. He lives in Atlanta. Has perfect health. The nicest teeth. He’ll be here on Sunday afternoon for tea and questions. Please, Mina. No tricks this time. I’ve done the numbers. And wear the lavender dress with your new belt.”
Mina put down the phone and slid back under the covers. Another potential husband. Another Sunday afternoon spent nodding at a strange man, with her parents in their best clothes, aiming to please. She didn’t want to get married. She wanted to quit business school and move to the mountains to paint all day. But she had to prepare for her Operations Management exam.
Mina forced herself up and went to the kitchen. She boiled water and then brewed tea the way Darya had taught her, balancing the teapot on top of the open kettle so that steam from the boiled water underneath would gently simmer the leaves. She covered the teapot with a cloth so no heat could escape. Half Earl Grey, half mystery leaves. Darya’s brew.
The phone. Again.
“Yes, Darya.” For the past few years, Mina had been calling her mother by her first name, a small way of controlling the control obsessed.
“Mina, this is your maman.”
“The new man over for tea on Sunday, I know. I won’t meet him.”
“Don’t be silly, Mina—of course you’ll meet him! No, I just wanted to extra remind you that I’m hosting math camp today. And I have a cold, which is why I’ve spent the morning eating raw onions. Your father says it’s nature’s antibiotic. I’m not contagious though. I’ll see you at four fifteen sharp . . .”
Darya’s voice was replaced by tiny sniffles. Mina imagined her mother dabbing her nose with the lemon-embroidered handkerchief that her mother, Mamani, had made years ago in Tehran. Darya mumbled that she had to go, but that Mina really should come over for tea.
“Together tea,” Darya said in her Persian way of speaking English. “You come, Mina, and we’ll have together tea.”
Every Saturday afternoon, Darya’s two friends, Kavita Das and Yung-Ja Kim, joined her for tea and math camp. All three of them lived in Queens and adored mathematics. Lately, Darya especially loved entering values into spreadsheets so she could spit out charts and graphs. When Darya was a young girl in Iran, she’d excelled in arithmetic. She had wanted to become a math professor, but then she got married, had three kids, and moved to America after the 1979 Islamic Revolution. Mina’s father, a doctor, had worked at a pizza shop stirring tomato sauce when the family moved to New York in 1982. He couldn’t practice medicine with his foreign license. He studied at night for over a year and surrounded himself with medical journals as he patted dough and sliced green peppers, then took his American medical license exams. He finally succeeded in being a doctor again: practicing internal medicine on Long Island, treating gastritis and ulcers, massaging gallbladders, and examining intestines. He was content with his patients, his medical library, and his daily turkey, tomato, and corn chip sandwiches. But above all, he wanted his wife to be happy. When he saw how miserable Darya was after their first few years in America, he suggested that she start her own math group.
“You have to do what you love, Darya,” Baba said one night at dinner. “You can no longer just push it away! Don’t you see? You say you love math. You say it’s your passion. But where is it in your life? If the mountain won’t come to Mohammed, Mohammed must go to the mountain. You have to focus your energy on mathematics. Seize it!”
As he said these last few words, he leaped out of his chair and punched his fist triumphantly in the air. Mina and her two older brothers, Hooman and Kayvon, quietly chewed their stuffed eggplant. In the late eighties Baba had discovered the tapes of a life-improvement guru and had become obsessed with self-esteem and self-confidence. He quoted the guru daily.
“But I haven’t done math in years.” Darya swirled her fork listlessly in eggplant sauce. Since arriving in America, she had worked at a dry-cleaning shop, tailoring clothes.
“No matter!” Baba punched his fist in the air again, then clapped his hands forcefully. He had learned the motions from the free seminar video that came with the audiotapes he’d ordered through the Home Shopping Network. “The past is not your dictator! If you believe it, you can give birth to it! You have to use your inner volition to make your life resplendent!”
Darya stared at him through tears and nodded like a child as she put down her fork. That night Baba and Darya worked together on various strategies for bringing more math into her life. Mina, Hooman, and Kayvon watched as their parents sat at the dining room table. Baba scribbled on memo pads, Darya brewed pots of tea, and they brainstormed. Baba paced up and down, occasionally bursting into an energizing set of jumping jacks. His favorite kind was the scissor jumping jack.
Mina and her brothers walked quietly around their parents to go up to bed.
The next morning at breakfast, Baba tapped his tea glass with a spoon. “Listen up, children! Listen well. From now on, Saturday afternoons will be different around here. Your mother will be pursuing her passion then. She will meet with her friends to do mathematics. On Saturday afternoons, they will immerse themselves in their work. During those hours, the dining room will be a mathematics think tank. You will respect your mother’s space and her group. You will not run around or scream or argue during that time. If you wish, you are more than welcome to participate in the workshop, but only if you come prepared, having completed the problems and proofs due that week. No noise during that time. We must all support your mother as she takes targeted action to live with passion. Fahmeedeen? Understand?”
Hooman, Mina’s oldest brother, who was a senior in high school at the time, grunted yes, then left for basketball practice. Kayvon, the middle child at fifteen, said, “Cool,” and kissed Darya on the forehead before turning up the volume on his Walkman. Mina heard the muffled beat of a Tears for Fears song through the foam of Kayvon’s headphones.
“Mina,” Darya said in a squeaky voice. “Will you comply with these new rules so that I can, um, live with . . .” She turned to Baba. “What was it, Parviz, that I’m supposed to live with? Obsession?”
“Passion.” Baba looked encouraging.
“Oh yes, Parviz. Passion,” Darya repeated.
Mina took in her mother’s hazel eyes. Darya actually looked vulnerable.
“Of course I will.” Mina picked up her backpack and left for school. As she walked down the block, she thought about Baba’s solemn speech and Darya’s request for compliance with the new rules. She thought about math camp, the idea of inviting friends every Saturday to do equations together, and she wondered again, as she often did during her years of adolescence, what her parents would have been like if they hadn’t moved to America.
Her small black address book in her lap, Darya parked herself by the phone later that evening and called all her friends. Of the dozen or so people she called, the only ones who agreed that spending every Saturday afternoon working on algebra and calculus was a fun idea were Kavita and Yung-Ja, two of Darya’s oldest friends in America and immigrants themselves. From then on, every Saturday afternoon, they met over tea. They started with the basics, since they were all rusty. Mina could understand some of what they were doing at first. But together the women whipped through one textbook after another, and pretty soon it got too complicated for Mina. Not that Darya didn’t try to include her. “Please join us, Mina Joon,” she would say, using the affectionate term “Joon,” which meant “dear” in Farsi. “You don’t know how beautiful math is.” For Christmas (which none of them celebrated, as they were a Muslim, a Hindu, and a Buddhist), Baba bought each of them a financial calculator. Darya cried when she untied the wrapping to find the small machine, the photo of which she had fingered longingly in technology catalogs. After that, the women whizzed through their work. Within two years Darya applied for a job at a local bank branch in Queens. She told Mina she loved punching in the figures and getting the right answer. She loved the whir of the paper as it slid out of the calculator. She loved how numbers added up to what you expected them to add up to.
MINA FINISHED HER TEA AND got some peanut butter from the fridge. Her tiny apartment was on the Upper West Side, close to the Columbia Business School campus. Darya loved the idea of Mina’s getting a master’s in business administration, even though Mina wanted to be an artist. The pursuit of well-respected, high-paying professions was the duty of the Rezayi children. And since Mina had already ruled out medicine, engineering, and law, her only option was business. The Rezayis had to rebuild their wealth and prestige and, most important of all, stability in this new country. Art wasn’t going to fit into that mold. Art, Darya said, meant standing on the street corner hoping to get noticed. With your nose running and no-good shoes. It was for the flighty, flaky, and feckless. Not for the daughter of immigrants who had given up their country, time spent with grandparents, and the best pomegranates in the world to come to America.
Mina ate the peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon. She put it back in the fridge next to the rows of neatly stacked Tupperware that Darya had dropped off: olivieh chicken salad, potato quiche cut into triangles, oval meat cutlets sitting in rich tomato sauce, stuffed grape leaf dolmeh, barberry rice, and the sweet-and-sour walnut-pomegranate dish called fesenjoon.
Mina was relieved that there were still so many lunches and dinners left for her in the fridge. Nothing was quite like the food Darya’s skilled hands had patted into being.
IN THE CAR, MINA TURNED ON the news. “Iran” was mentioned in the same breath as “terrorist” and “rogue.” Just once, Mina wanted to hear the name of her old country mentioned in the same breath as “joy” or “freedom” or “gentle goodness.” She switched to the oldies from the sixties and seventies station, and John Travolta whooped out “You’re the One That I Want.”
The first time she’d heard that song was with Bita, when they were both nine and living in Tehran. A dozen times they’d danced to it. In the living room, in the kitchen, on Mina’s bed, and by the rosebushes in the yard. They’d played that song everywhere but out in public, where they could’ve been arrested. Mina had wanted to marry John Travolta. His photos were all over her room. Bita kept a photo of his dimpled chin tucked under her headdress. A hundred times they’d listened to that smuggled cassette sound track. A thousand times they’d sworn to be best friends for life. A million years had passed since then. Mina swerved into a different lane, and the driver behind her honked. She had no idea where Bita was now. Best friends forever had turned to be best friends until revolution and war made one of us flee the country. Best friends until one of us became American and the other remained trapped in Iran.
Mina crossed the bridge from Manhattan into Queens. The last letter she’d received from Bita had come a year or two after Mina had moved to the U.S. The onionskin paper was covered with scratch ’n’ sniff fruit stickers. If she scratched one of those stickers now, would it still smell of sweet summer strawberries? Mina turned off the radio.
DARYA STOOD OUTSIDE THE FRONT DOOR in her pink housedress, her red hair gathered in a bun, her hands on her hips.
“Are you feeling better?” Mina called out as she pulled into the driveway.
“Yes, but don’t kiss me. I’m all oniony,” Darya said.
Mina walked up to Darya and kissed her anyway.
“What is wrong with your hair?” Darya asked, as always.
AT THE DINING ROOM TABLE, Kavita and Yung-Ja sat drinking tea and eating baklava. Kavita was small and plump, with dark hair that used to shine and hands that were rough from years of scrubbing tubs, untangling her daughters’ hair, and raking dirt so she could grow flowers in the stubborn soil of her Jackson Heights garden. Yung-Ja was thin and petite, always dressed beautifully, always made up—Mina had never seen her without heels and nylons. Mina could tell that all three women were on a high from some calculus. Kavita’s frizzy hair was a mess, and Yung-Ja’s kohl-lined eyes were shining. They greeted Mina with hugs and kisses, pinched her cheeks, and laughed.
“We did some more integrals today,” Kavita said in her high voice. “Just reviewing basics. Applying integration to find total cost from variable cost!”
“Yes, but we also factor in fixed costs.” Yung-Ja talked quickly in her broken English, like a runner who’d just successfully finished a sprint. “No forget, we also factor in fixed costs.”
“It was beautiful, Mina,” Darya said. “Beautifully beautiful.
“Now come, Mina.” Darya took Mina’s hand and pulled her toward the stairs. “Up to my office. I’ve made charts on Mr. Dashti. They came out so precise!”
Kavita and Yung-Ja waved their hands above their heads without looking up from their calculators as Mina reluctantly followed Darya. At the top of the stairs stood Baba, feet apart, huge goggles on his head, a drill gun in his right hand.
“Salaam, Mina Joon!” Baba engulfed Mina in a hug and kissed her on both cheeks. Various objects from his tool belt dug into Mina’s ribs. “I’m off to caulk the bathtub! A homeowner’s work is never done!” He saluted.
Mina saluted smartly back and watched her father march into the bathroom, his tools bouncing around his waist.
In Darya’s bedroom “office,” the sight of her two-drawer metal filing cabinet drained Mina’s energy. She knew what woe those alphabetized folders held inside.
“Let’s see now.” Darya sifted through a file drawer. “Mr. Jahanfard. Mr. Samiyi. Mr. Bidar . . . Mr. Ahmadi . . .” She flipped through folders labeled neatly in Farsi. “Ah, here he is!” Darya swooshed out a bright yellow folder. “Mr. Dashti!”
A deafening drilling noise from the bathroom blocked out Darya’s voice for a moment.
“Look!” Darya pulled out a piece of paper from the folder and held it up. It was a neatly typed CV. “Your father’s aunt’s friend in Atlanta faxed me his résumé after speaking to Mr. Dashti’s uncle’s wife. Look at this. He studied chemistry at Yale, got a bachelor’s and a PhD. He then received a master’s in business administration from Stan Fohrd! He likes Persian music and he plays the sitar. He has a very good job with Kodak in Atlanta now, running his own research department. Mr. Dashti decides the balance of the chemicals for each roll of film!” Darya folded her arms across her chest, then added quickly, “His mother was quite pretty.”
Mina stared at the wallpaper. She realized she really hated wallpaper.
“Look at this, Mina!” Darya pointed to another sheet of paper titled “Family Background and Health Issues.” “This took me hours to research. No history of disease in his family. Everybody healthy. One sister got divorced a few years ago, but I’m told it was for the best. You have to behave next Sunday at tea, Mina. You must. I talked to your father’s aunt and to her friend in Atlanta and everyone agrees: he’s the one!” Darya handed Mina the folder. “Spreadsheets don’t lie!”
Mina plopped onto the bed. The sound of Kavita and Yung-Ja discussing integrals floated up from the dining room. Baba’s drilling had stopped. Darya loved to calculate the statistics of available Persian bachelors, factoring in their attributes, family histories, education, the probability for divorce. She had her very own system of assigning numbers to certain qualities. Five for good teeth. Minus 10 for having only a bachelor’s and no graduate degree. Plus 20 if it could be proved that they were kind to their mothers. Plus 7 if they didn’t hold their forks like shovels. Darya was so proud of her knowledge of Excel, fond of making graphs. Where was the mother Mina used to know in Iran? A magician had made that mother disappear over the years and replaced her with this chubby, red-haired meddling matchmaker. The mother she knew back then would never have done this. Find someone who knew someone who knew a well-educated man. Do the research. Make the calls. Send a photograph of Mina, if requested. And then, bound by some ridiculous obligation to their own meddling matchmakers, these men would board trains or planes or get in their cars and come to tea.
“Darya, I don’t want to have tea with Mr. Dashti next Sunday. I don’t want to meet him. I don’t want to get married. You know that.”
Darya opened her mouth to say something, but her lips froze in the shape of a perfect zero. Then she turned and talked to the bedspread.
“My daughter says she doesn’t want to get married. Interesting, no? What makes her say this? Youth. Youth and complete lack of knowledge!” Her hazel eyes shone when she turned to Mina. “Mina, I want you to meet Mr. Dashti. Do you know the percentage of divorce in this country? The probability of women over thirty getting married? Mr. Dashti’s spreadsheet is very hopeful. Forget Jahanfard. Forget Bidar. Forget all those oafs who came over and made you bored and who you conveniently avoided any eye contact with and spilled tea on. I’m forgiving that, forgetting it. Whoosh! Gone. Who cares? But this time, Mina! This time, I’ve computed statistics.”
“You don’t even know him!”
“I’m your mother, Mina. I know you!”
“Did it ever occur to you that I’m a lesbian?”
“Lesbian?!” Darya snorted. “Don’t think I don’t know about lesbians! We had lesbians in Iran. You know how we knew they were lesbians? From their lovers! You don’t even have a girlfriend, Mina! You’re no lesbian.”
Mina sighed. She wasn’t a lesbian but she also didn’t want to marry someone just because his GPA had been graphed by her mom in Excel. She stared at the wall, at the paintings from India that Kavita had given Darya after visiting her soon-to-be sons-in-law there. Kavita raised her daughters in Queens, then received a phone call from her father in New Delhi and went over to meet her daughters’ suitors. The new husbands moved to New York to be with their Indian-American wives. Darya had told Mina they were sweet, charming men who listened well. She told her that these new husbands had adjusted remarkably well to the culture shock of moving to America.
“Darya, I’m still trying to get through grad school. Why would I even want a husband now?”
“Everybody in this life needs a partner.”
“I don’t.”
“You need someone. What’s going to happen when I die? Who’s going to take care of you? When you’re all alone and old? Your brothers? Who’ll wipe your nose when you’re sick?”
“I’ll wipe my own nose! I’ll call a friend! Hire someone—I’ll put signs on tree trunks for a nose-wiper!”
“You need someone, Mina. You need to have . . .”
“Everything you didn’t have?” Mina finished the sentence for her.
“No, Mina,” Darya said quietly. “Not everything I didn’t have. Everything I had. I want you to taste life the way I have. To give you a fraction of what I was given. I want you to have a passion. I want you to fall in love like I fell in love.”
“Your marriage was arranged.”
“It wasn’t arranged. It was . . . encouraged. I got to know your father. I took the time. I loved my mother. I knew she wouldn’t do me wrong. Because my mother . . .”
Darya broke off and cried silently into her hands. Her mother had been killed by a bomb during the Iran-Iraq War. She had been buying pomegranates at the greengrocer’s downtown when the bomb blew the grocer’s wooden stalls into shreds. Darya often cried when she talked of Mamani.
Mina’s body grew slack as she remembered asking Mamani for those pomegranates years ago. But she forced her body up straight. Darya’s tears over Mamani were nothing new.
“Because . . .” Darya looked up, her face wet but suddenly calm. “Because, Mina, my mother gave me a gift when I was nineteen. Don’t you see? She gave me a gift, and at the time I was young too and foolish and couldn’t appreciate what she’d found for me. I attended my own wedding only because in those days we didn’t refuse our parents’ choices. It took years for me to realize what she had done for me. The happiness that she placed into my hands.”
Mina thought of the man in the bathroom next door, sitting on his knees and squeezing putty onto pink tiles. She thought of her father’s few wiry hairs, his uneven teeth and self-help tapes, his bulging stomach, and the way he listened to American songs on the radio, hearing the lyrics all wrong. That’s the gift Mamani gave her? That’s the happiness Darya was talking about?
“It’s ridiculous,” Mina said. “You can’t pick a spouse for someone else. How do you know what’s right for them?”
“It’s been done for centuries. This, the way they do it here, this is ridiculous. You can’t pick a spouse for yourself. How does one person, one young person know what’s right for them? When you were fifteen, did you think the way you do now? Well, when you’re thirty, you’ll look back on today and laugh at your thoughts. It’s like anything else when you’re young. Vegetables. Cod liver oil. A jacket on a seemingly warm day. Your mother says take it, it’s good for you. You refuse, it seems unnecessary. Then you realize she knew you better than you knew yourself. That’s why she’s your mother.”
Darya’s red bun bounced as she talked. “Don’t you think I know how you feel? I cried like you cry by yourself at nights now. I didn’t want to get married, didn’t even find Baba attractive. I wanted to get a PhD in mathematics and become a professor. I always thought I would contribute something huge to academia, that I would be remembered for a theorem or proof or something. I never thought I’d be sitting with Kavita and Yung-Ja on Saturdays solving equations no one would ever see. I couldn’t even imagine not being a famous mathematician back then. When my mother introduced your father to me, I hated him. I hated her for pushing him on me. I spent several months, years even, resenting the marriage.”
“So? What happened?”
“What happened is I grew up. What happened is your father. He gave to me. Consistently and unselfishly worked to make me happy. One day I woke up and looked at him and my house and my swollen stomach and realized I was happy and didn’t even know it. I heard about a woman receiving a prize in mathematics and I laughed. I didn’t care. When my mother died, I couldn’t have survived it without your father. No professorship in math would have saved me then.”
Darya absently picked up her hairbrush and twirled it in her hand.
“Besides,” she continued. “Remember when you were eighteen and we went to the mall and I bought you that denim shirt? Remember how you didn’t want to get it? How you hated it then? Now, you wear it almost every day.”
“Mr. Dashti is not a shirt!”
“He wears nice shirts!”
“Darya!!!”
Mina felt a tiny tickle in her stomach. A quiver worked its way down to her toenails and her mouth burst open. She couldn’t stop laughing. The insanity of their conversation! Mr. Dashti wears nice shirts. Her father as a gift—Mina imagined a huge red bow tied around Baba’s bald head. She snorted like a pig as tears soaked her cheeks. She thought of the graphs, Mr. Jahanfard, Mr. Bidar, Mr. Dashti, the slopes of the lines Darya calculated. Her sides began to hurt.
She thought of the gift, her poor dead grandmother’s gift.
Mina couldn’t speak anymore. She was doubled over on the bed. Her cheeks hurt and her stomach was tight. Through her tears, she caught sight of her mother. Darya stood in her pink and white housedress, her pudgy feet pointing out, the Dashti folder in one hand, her hairbrush in another. Her roots showed, the fiery red dye was in need of a touch-up. When they left Iran, Darya had vowed to dye her hair red if she could ever reach a country where she didn’t have to wear a veil. On one of those first mornings in New York, Darya had disappeared into the hotel bathroom for thirty minutes. When she emerged from the bathroom with her hair in a towel, Baba had clapped loudly for her, whistling and cheering, urging Mina and her brothers to join in. Mina could see Baba now, the pride on his face as Darya shyly removed the towel from her wet hair, how he went to the bathroom and cleaned the walls that had been stained crimson, just as he had cleaned her grandmother’s body after it had been stained crimson from the bomb at the grocer’s those years ago.
Silence replaced Mina’s laughter. Her body hiccuped slowly a few times as she got up. Darya was quiet, her eyes confused.
“Oh, Maman,” Mina said as she took the hairbrush from Darya’s hand and sat her down on the bed. “Do you think I should wear the lavender dress with a cardigan or just by itself when I meet Mr. Dashti?” She placed the hairbrush at the gray roots on Darya’s head, and slowly brushed her mother’s hair.