No. Na. Non. Nein. Nyet. How many ways would you like me to tell you?”
Baba rubbed one hand on his bald head, a glass of tea in the other. Mina sat in her parents’ living room. Baba paced and took deep breaths. Mina knew he was using “Stay Calm!” techniques from his latest self-help tape. He smiled extra widely at Mina as he handed Darya an estekan of tea. Darya sat perfectly still in the big armchair, her legs crossed.
“See now, Mina Joon.” Baba spoke as if he were talking to a mental patient who could attack him at any moment. “See now, joonam. What you’re suggesting is ludicrous. First of all, you’re in school. Second, the political situation there is unpredictable at best. Third, I think you’re just really tired. So let’s just focus on the present.” He stopped pacing. “You OWN today!” he said, but his voice shook. “The past is not your dictator!”
“It’s for a visit, Baba. People go back all the time now. I just need to see it again. To be there . . .”
Baba laughed a high, nervous laugh. “Mina Joon, is it the stress of your graduate program? Are you worried about finals? Look, your mother—” He pointed to Darya who sat sipping tea serenely. “Your mother will talk some sense into you.”
Why wasn’t Darya more alarmed at Mina’s announcement that she wanted to go back to Iran? Why was her mother so calm all of a sudden?
“Stay focused. On the task at hand. No crazy trip ideas.” Baba took in a deep breath.
All day, Mina had rehearsed the conversation with her parents in her head, anticipating all the derailments. But even as she’d played out their inevitable discouragement, she’d still felt strangely energized. As if she had just finished skiing in the Damavand mountains. Or had chased Hooman and Kayvon screaming and giggling through their old garden. Or had smelled again the lemon trees at Mamani and Agha Jan’s house. Just the idea of physically being back there again was exhilarating. She couldn’t let Darya and Baba talk her out of it.
“Go ahead, Darya Joon, tell her,” Baba said, nodding.
“Tell her what?” Darya asked.
“What do you mean?” Baba stopped pacing and studied his wife carefully. “Darya, what has gotten into you lately? Your daughter wants to visit the Islamic Republic of Iran. Hello? Tell her, Darya, why this is a ludicrous plan!”
Darya sipped her tea and sighed.
“Say something, Darya Joon!” Baba gave Darya a desperate look.
“What would you like me to say?”
Mina hadn’t seen her mother sit up so straight in a long time.
“Excuse me?” Baba stopped. He looked up at the ceiling and held up a finger as if telling an invisible Almighty to just be patient and wait a minute while his wife caught on to the gravity of the situation. He turned to Darya. “I honestly don’t know what is happening with you, Darya. MY LOVE, your daughter wants to take a hiatus from business school to visit Iran. Let’s take a moment to see what’s wrong with this picture . . .”
“Not a hiatus,” Mina said carefully. “I wouldn’t miss any classes. We have our two-week winter break coming up anyway. I’ve timed it all to go then.”
“You have, haven’t you?” Darya swiveled her perfect-postured head in Mina’s direction.
Mina gulped and nodded.
“Oh, well then, I suppose it all makes perfect sense! Silly me!” Baba slapped his head. He took in more deep breaths, then put on the voice he used with patients when he delivered bad news. “Mina, you have not been back in fifteen years. You have an American passport. There are risks involved with returning after all this time. Risks that we cannot predict . . .”
“I still have my Iranian passport . . .” Mina reminded him.
Baba dropped the doctor voice and looked up at his invisible friend in the ceiling again. “She has it all planned out!” He laughed nervously at the ceiling.
“She does, doesn’t she?” Darya said. But, unlike Baba, she seemed to be impressed, not annoyed.
“Tell her that this is all a fantasy!” Baba cried.
“And what, may I ask,” Darya said, looking tired now, “is wrong with a little fantasy?”
“I beg your pardon, Darya?” Baba almost whispered.
“Seems to me like a truly wonderful plan.”
Baba looked at Darya as though she were a dragon who had materialized out of thin air and appeared in his living room. “WHAT?”
“It would be during the semester break. She wouldn’t miss any school. She would just be going back home.” Darya listed off the positives on her fingers as casually as if she were reciting vegetables for a grocery list.
Mina stared from one parent to another. Now, like Baba, she too was in shock.
Baba stood frozen in the middle of the room, a half-crazy smile on his face.
“Perhaps it’s not so strange an idea,” Darya confirmed, pausing to pat her skirt. Then she looked straight at Mina. “But on one condition only. That if you go on this trip, you promise that when you come back you will simply buckle down and focus entirely on business school. Drop the whole ‘I’m torn because I want to be an artist’ routine once and for all. Agreed?”
Mina was so much in shock that she just nodded and said, “Sure.”
“What? We can’t set conditions, Darya. The whole idea is ludicrous!” Baba said. “Though it would be good, Mina Joon, if we could just get you to actually focus on your business studies. Without the monster of doubt tormenting you. Doubt kills achievement. It is the elixir that feeds that other monster negativity . . .”
“Good, then! It’s all settled!” Darya interrupted. She looked out the window. “It has been such a very long time,” she said softly. “And the answer is yes, Mina Joon. The answer is yes.”
“Oh. I wasn’t asking for permission . . . exactly,” Mina said. “I was just letting you know . . .”
“No, I mean the answer is yes, of course I’ll come with you,” Darya said as if explaining the obvious.
Baba sank into a chair, holding his hand to his heart, air blowing out of his cheeks.
Mina sat there, speechless.
“You’re welcome!” Darya smiled and held up her tea.