All right, let’s see… so to recap what has happened in my life during the past six months. Well, I have a boyfriend. Yes, a boyfriend. A very cute one who loves to spend time with me and never cancels dates unless he absolutely has no choice. And have I mentioned that he kisses like a dream?
And you know it’s David. We’re a couple. People lump us together that way. David and Tabby. “Let’s see if David and Tabby would like to come along with us.” Or, “Darling, do you think David and Tabby might like to have supper with us on Saturday?”
It’s such a wonderful thing to have a real relationship.
What else? Oh, I’ve gained two adorable possible stepchildren-to-be. David hasn’t actually mentioned a ring, but I’m hoping after he sees me today in my maid of honor gown (size six) for Shelly’s wedding, he’ll no longer be able to put it off. I’m actually hoping for a Christmas wedding—although that might be pushing it a little, considering this is already the beginning of September. So maybe I should stop thinking of poinsettias and consider lilies instead. Oh! And lavender bridesmaid gowns. No. Dancy would kill me. She’s already said no fuchsia, lavender, or pastels of any kind. Which really doesn’t leave me much choice for summer colors. But I did promise, and a promise is a promise. Besides, she’s having such a wretched time at work with her British jerk of a boss that I really don’t want to add insult to injury anyway. So I guess I’ll go with the black and white wedding theme. That’s classic and elegant and who wouldn’t love that?
Oh, Kirk Cameron turned us down for the role of Rudolph, so Jerry cast a relative unknown. And he’s fantastic. Fans overwhelmingly prefer him to Trey. Apparently they say he has an honest face.
The wedding coordinator gives me the signal that it’s my turn to walk down the aisle. I crank my head forward and kiss my nephew’s head. I’m carrying him instead of a bouquet. Shelly absolutely refused to get married without her son by her side and Brian agreed. Of course Brian agrees with anything Shelly says. I swear I’ve never seen a man so in love. Well, except for David. My boyfriend. Oh, did I already mention I have a boyfriend? I have a real, live boyfriend.
So I’m carrying my darling nephew, Frankie, down the aisle. People are smiling of course. His chubby legs are kicking as I hold him face-first to show him off. And he’s squealing with all the excitement of the day. My gaze finds David’s, and he looks a little shell-shocked. Yep, I think this might have done the trick.
Jenn is the flower girl and Jeffy the ring bearer. When I get to the front of the church, I stop next to Jenn. She looks gorgeous in a miniature bridal gown. Her blond hair is curled into ringlets and piled on her head. She takes my breath away. Jeffy is standing like a gentleman in his pint-sized black tux. Oh, what’s he doing? Eyeing the communion bread and licking his lips. I only pray he keeps his fingers off the loaf.
Shelly is a vision walking down the aisle on Dad’s arm. Dad. Those Weight Watchers points are paying off. What a transformation. He’s a nice, healthy two hundred pounds, which, at six foot two, isn’t bad. He’s just ten pounds from his goal weight. His diabetes is under control, and he’s stopped taking blood pressure medicine altogether.
My gaze falls on David, but he’s not looking at the bride. His eyes are fixed on me, and the expression of love absolutely takes my breath away.
“I love you,” he mouths. I feel my cheeks warm, and I smile at him. And since no one else is looking at me anyway, I go ahead and mouth “I love you too” back at him.
My eyes get misty as I watch my little sister become Mrs. Brian Ryan. (What were his parents thinking?)
By the time the ceremony is almost over, my arms are about to fall off. To finish off the wedding, Shelly reaches over and takes Frankie from my arms. Together, she and Brian dedicate him to God and promise to raise him to love and serve the Lord.
Oh! Did I forget to mention that? My sister and Brian have started attending my church, where I’ve become quite the celebrity since I gave my talk at the ladies’ meeting. Mike and Joy are still hanging out with my parents at their church. Joy prefers a more traditional service. How crazy is that?
I still don’t know if I’m making much of a difference being a Christian in the soap opera industry. I mean, Freddie’s still gay, and Julie has moved on to yet another relationship. Tonya is still bullied by her mother, who still smokes three packs of Winstons per day. Some days I think I should just give up and go back to wearing the bunny suit. But on those rare occasions when God opens a door and I’m allowed to share His goodness with someone, I know I’m there for a reason. To be salt and light.
We turn as the preacher introduces the new married couple and I wait, expecting to follow the bride and groom down the aisle to the receiving line. Only I see Shelly give David a nod, and my boyfriend stands and walks to the front. He drops down on one knee in front of me and holds up a case with the most fantastic engagement ring I’ve ever seen. Is he kidding me? I glance over at my sister. “Are you okay with this?”
Her eyes are filled with tears. “It was our idea. Would you give the man an answer?”
The wedding guests laugh. I turn back to David with a teasing grin. “He hasn’t exactly asked me a question yet.”
A smile tips the corners of his lips. “Will you be my wife?”
“And be our mom?” Jeffy and Jenn take up positions flanking their dad.
“Yeah,” Jeffy says. “We really want you to be our mom.”
I’m sorry, but that’s just the best proposal a girl could possibly get. I drop to my knees in front of my little family-to-be. I touch their pudgy cheeks (the twins’ of course; David’s cheeks are chiseled). “I love you too. And nothing would make me happier than to be your mom.”
I reach up and touch the precious face of the man I love. His eyes are misting and tears travel down my cheeks. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
The wedding guests applaud as David slips the ring on my finger and kisses me. A sweet kiss, filled with promise and love.
One thing is for sure, this is far better than winning an Emmy.
But you know… if they offer me one, I’m not going to turn it down.