“Really?” Benny heard a man say. “Free?”
“Yes. Absolutely free!” said the bear, and handed the man a leaflet. The man scurried off, licking his lips.
The bear itself was, in fact, one of three bears – though there was no sign of anyone playing Goldilocks – handing out leaflets around the area of Lenny’s burger van. Benny noticed that each bear – and by bears, it should be clear, we are talking not about carnivoran mammals of the family Ursidae15 but people dressed in cartoon bear costumes – had been positioned to form a triangle, a kind of net, in which the burger van was caught.
Benny approached one of them. “Can I have one of those leaflets please . . .?” he said, and the bear handed one over.
Benny looked down at it. It was a Bonkers Burgers! leaflet. It said:
On the leaflet, there were various pictures of burgers and bears and cartoon people laughing. Benny noticed the asterisks, after “SATURDAY” and “HERE”. He checked the bottom of the page, where, much like the contract offered to his dad, there was some small print.
*Only available between the hours of 1 p.m. and 6 p.m., and no other time.
**By “here”, we mean the Bracket Wood branch and nowhere else in the Bonkers Burgers! universe.
Benny took the leaflet back to the van. They all read it. They had a lot of time to do so, as no one was ordering any burgers.
“Hmm,” said Lenny. “Well, I don’t think this is a coincidence.”
“Neither do I,” said Benny.
“Neither do I,” said Jasper. “Because I don’t know what ‘coincidence’ means.”
“It means something that’s happened by chance,” said Lenny. “Which, as I say, this isn’t. Bonkers Burgers! have put this offer on deliberately, on match days, in this area only, to try and drive us out of business! Just like they did to Kenny’s!”
“That’s awful,” said Jasper. “Meanwhile, can I see that leaflet again . . .?”
Benny handed it to him. Jasper didn’t look at it, but instead said, “Actually, I’ve just remembered . . . My mum wanted me to get home early today to . . .”
“To . . .?” said Benny, as Jasper was already stepping away.
“To . . . have tea!”
“Right,” said Benny. “Do you think you’ll manage it though, after you’ve eaten your free Big Bonkers?”
But Jasper was gone, running in the direction, indeed, of Bonkers Burgers!
“What shall we do?” said Mina.
“I don’t know,” said Lenny. “We can’t afford to give away burgers.”
Benny could see his dad’s shoulders sagging in sadness, and he said quickly, “There must be something we can do. After all, we know much more about the people who support Bracket Wood FC than Bonkers Burgers! There must be something about that knowledge that we can use!”
“What though?” said Lenny. “And, even if we did, how would we scupper what Bonkers Burgers! are doing?”
“Excuse me,” said a voice. They turned round. It was a bear. Well, it was a man in a bear suit, presently holding a bear’s head. It was, in fact, Nick Norbert, Head of Food and Drink at Bonkers & Co. Inc. LLP Ltd, in a bear suit, holding a bear’s head.
“Yes?” said Lenny.
“Could I, um . . .” Nick said in a whisper, looking round furtively, as if he might be spotted, “have a Benny burger?”