There were three sofas on the living room carpet but Omar and Fawziya sat on one of them in very close contact as if the room were full of invisible guests vying for a place to sit. Omar sat silently next to Fawziya, who was reading a book and breathing as though the air in the room was about to run out. Suddenly, she closed the book, stood up, and threw it across the room with all her strength. It crashed against a large frame hanging on the wall and brought to the floor a photograph of an old man with resigned eyes, shattering both glass and frame. Omar chuckled and said to Fawziya, “Your father will be angry with you.”
“Leave our father under the ground,” Fawziya said. “Surely, he has enough to worry about. Yet he might feel sorry for me now because I’ve just finished reading the last book in the house and there’s nothing left to read to amuse myself.”
“You’re not in need of anyone to feel sorry for you,” Omar said in a serious voice, “Tomorrow, please God, the house will be full of new books. I’ll steal a whole library and bring it home to you because I can’t bear to see you unhappy.”
“I’ve read a lot about mice munching on books,” said Fawziya, “and all that is nothing but lies because mice can’t stand books.”
“And how did you find this out?” Omar asked in a surprised and questioning tone. “Did you question the mice?”
“It’s obvious even to a blind man,” answered Fawziya. “A few months ago, the house was full of mice, but they have run away, fearing they would starve to death. If they really liked books, they wouldn’t have run away from a house filled with books but rather from one in which there was nothing fit to eat.”
“Don’t despair of God’s mercy so quickly,” Omar said in a quiet and confident voice. “Tomorrow, please God the Exalted, the house will be full of produce, and the mice will return.”
“Are you going to win the lottery tomorrow?” Fawziya asked, mocking. “Or do you have a rich uncle in Brazil who has died and left you his fortune in bank accounts all over the world?”
“God willing, tomorrow I’ll steal the grandest palace in this country.”
“Will you steal its furniture, or only the pots and pans and cutlery?”
“God willing, I’ll steal the whole palace, with its stones, windows and doors.”
“A jar isn’t always safe after a fall. The guards of these palaces are oppressive tyrants and will kill you.”
“I won’t be giving you the pleasure of crying over my corpse. I’ll put them all to sleep, and they won’t wake up till the Day of Judgment.”
“Will you also steal the owner of the palace?”
“I’ll bring him here all tied up and throw him at your feet.”
“Don’t you think that feeding him every day will need more than just a bit of money?”
“I’ll leave him without food until he slowly loses weight and collapses, and the mice will thank me after devouring him with gusto.”
“Your mission is fearful and difficult, and you’ll need help. In a while it will be time for the noon prayer. I’ll pray at noon, and call upon God to grant you success.”
Omar was delighted with Fawziya’s promise and relaxed further back on the sofa. He was confident of success because Fawziya’s prayers were heard, as though the heavens were eager to please her. He closed his eyes, feeling refreshed. “Why don’t you steal something we can eat now?” he heard Fawziya ask insistently.
Omar opened his eyes and said, “God willing, tomorrow I’ll rob the richest orchard, and will bring you apricots, apples, grapes, pears, peaches, plums, and red and yellow melons.”
“Stop talking now. Stop,” said Fawziya, swallowing her spittle with difficulty. “You’ve aroused my appetite, and I’ll end up eating you if you don’t stop talking immediately.”
“God willing, tomorrow I’ll steal a young lamb which has just been slaughtered, and you’ll eat its meat while it’s still warm.”
“I suggest you steal a donkey.”
“Ugh! Donkey meat can’t be chewed or digested.”
“You’ll need it to carry all the stuff you’re going to steal.”
“God willing, tomorrow I’ll steal a whole herd of sheep, and you’ll be eating meat morning, noon, and night.”
“Doctors are cautioning people not to eat too much red meat. They advise us to eat more white meat.”
“God willing, tomorrow I’ll kidnap Nazha, our neighbor’s wife. In all my life I’ve never seen a woman with such fair flesh.”
“As of this moment, I’m giving up my share of her. You can eat her all by yourself.”
Fawziya approached him. Her hands gripped his waist with firm fingers, and she asked, “What do you say to eating me right now?”
Omar answered, “God willing, I’ll eat you tomorrow, after I’ve sprinkled you with salt and pepper.”
Annoyed, her fingers released his waist and she bent down to the floor, picked up the book and started reading it again. But her voice kept on complaining.