Said kissed the lips of a beautiful and daring young woman. She complimented him on his kiss, saying without embarrassment that she enjoyed it and would welcome more, but she found fault with his dense mustache, in which the stale odor of tobacco had taken root, making it smell more like rotten fish. As soon as he reached home, Said rushed into the bathroom, paying no attention to his wife. He stood in front of the mirror and with a firm hand shaved his mustache. He then looked into the mirror and saw there a man he did not recognize. “Who are you?” he asked.
“My name is Raghid,” said the man with the shaved mustache.
Raghid then laughed a merry and mocking laughter and said to Said, “The moment you shaved your mustache you disappeared. You didn’t exist any more.”
“Don’t gloat or feel glad,” Said said to Raghid. “In a few days my hair will grow back the way it was because it’s very thick and has always given barbers a hard time.”
Thereupon Raghid took hold of the scissors and set to cutting off the hair of his head. He covered the scalp with a thick layer of suds and shaved it clean, turning it into a shining pate, then said to Said, “Come! You’re welcome to boast about your hair, now.”
Raghid looked into the mirror in shock and saw a strange man whom he didn’t recognize. Confused, he asked him in turmoil, “Who are you?”
“I’m Walid,” said the man with the bald pate.
“There!” Said said to Raghid in a mocking voice. “You intended to do me harm, but you ended up hurting only yourself, for now the same thing has happened to you that happened to me.”
Walid said to Raghid and Said, “Don’t waste my time, you two. Admit you’re both jackasses and leave me to do my work.”
“And what is your work?” Raghid and Said asked with one voice.
“Have you forgotten that I’m married to the beautiful and intelligent Amal who’s impossible to please?” Walid answered.
“She will kick you out the window,” Said said, “for she loves my mustache and considers it a sign of true manhood.”
“She loved my hair,” said Raghid, “and used to pass her hand over it and say it was like the hair of a black stallion.”
At that moment, Amal tried to open the bathroom door, but found it locked. She struck the door angrily a number of times with her fist as she called out to Said, “What are you doing inside? Open the door!”
Said opened the door without delay, and Amal groaned when she saw his bald head. “What have you done to yourself?” she asked in a fury.
Said collapsed in the chair, and said to Amal in a soft and trembling voice, “I didn’t want to upset you with the bad news, for the treatment of cancer starts with chemotherapy, which weakens the hair and causes it to fall off gradually. I preferred to get rid of it all at once.”
“You have cancer!” Amal screamed. “Why didn’t I know about it?”
“The doctors discovered my condition four weeks ago,” Said answered, “and I have only six months left, which will be like a long honeymoon.”
Now Raghid said to Said in a voice that Amal did not hear, “What kind of crappy love is this? You torture her with false news and feel no shame in front of your miserable self?” Then Walid said to Said, “Look at her. What you’ve done to her does not speak of love.”
Said said to both, “Your criticism is valid. I welcome it and will correct it immediately.”
“Get angry and curse me if you like,” he said to Amal, “for I was doubtful of your love and I told this lie about cancer to find out if I had a place in your heart.”
“If you don’t have cancer, why did you shave your head?” “I was called up for the army.”
“And there you’ll be killed and they won’t be able to find your corpse to bury you,” Amal said in a trembling voice. “God forgive you, Amal. You speak as though we were in the old days of the great general Khalid Ibn al-Walid (God bless his soul!). In modern wars, no harm comes to soldiers. They put on their camouflage, walk about in the souks or march in military parades followed by respectful gazes, and are ready for a photograph or a television camera at a moment’s notice.”
“You must compensate me for the terror that your lying made me feel.”
He embraced her, bringing her down to the floor and said he would immediately pay whatever compensation he owed. Raghid and Walid hid their faces out of jealousy and embarrassment, and all three men quickly forgot their differences and were united into one man running around in a garden picking roses and eating fruit until he was full. He did not leave, but kept reeling about in its pathways riotously.