‘I’m gonna miss you so much, Al.’
‘Going to miss you too,’ Alice muttered hoarsely and kept on folding her sister’s few new clothes. Neatly she put them in Sophy’s travelling bag. She sniffed back the dew that threatened to drip from her nose and blinked away blurring tears. ‘Can’t believe you’re really goin’,’ Alice choked out through the lump in her throat. ‘It’s come around so quick. Seems like only yesterday you announced you was off when we was in the caff with Geoff and Dan.’
Almost a month had passed since Sophy and Danny dropped the bombshell about leaving London for Essex. Now it was a Saturday in late September and at midday Sophy was getting on a train and leaving The Bunk to start her new life in service at a manor house in Essex.
‘It don’t seem real,’ Sophy said, her quavering voice betraying her nervous excitement. ‘If I don’t like it there I’m coming home,’ she added. ‘Don’t care what Dan says; if they’re horrible, mean sorts I’m coming back here, ‘n’ that’s that.’
Alice looked up, her blue eyes glistening, but she smiled encouragement at Sophy. She knew her sister would never be back, mean people or no mean people. Sophy had in her pocket her ticket to ride away from the worst street in North London. Her future was fresh air and regular grub and, please God, when the time was right for them, perhaps a family of her own with Danny Lovat. Despite all the argy bargy that had gone on between Sophy and Danny Alice knew her sister had always, deep down, never stopped loving him. ‘You’ll be alright,’ Alice mumbled. ‘It’s not as if you’re going alone and don’t know nobody. You’ve got Dan.’
‘Yeah … I’ve got Dan,’ Sophy said softly and followed that with a crooked little smile.
Suddenly Alice hugged Sophy tightly to her. ‘Don’t go doing nothing stupid for him though,’ she said gruffly. ‘Don’t go letting him persuade you to misbehave again before you’re properly sorted out together. You’ll both end up with no roof over your heads. Posh lady’ll put you off soon as look at yers if you’re knocked up at your age and livin’ in her house.’ She let go of Sophy and resumed packing her clothes.
A sheepish look and a quick nod was Sophy’s agreement to her younger sister’s wisdom. ‘I already put him straight on it all, don’t worry about that.’ She gazed intently at Alice. ‘You think I was in the family way, don’t you, not just late with me monthlies.’
Alice shrugged and glanced away, not wanting to upset Sophy on this day of all days.
‘I’ve been thinking about it a lot,’ Sophy said. ‘All that blood ‘n’ stuff … it were a tiny baby, weren’t it? I lost me baby, before it was ready, didn’t I?’
Alice’s small teeth sank into her lower lip for a moment as she considered her answer. ‘Not sure,’ she finally said. ‘If you did it’s called a miscarriage.’ She looked gravely at her sister. ‘I heard Annie talking with some of the other women at work. What they were saying about this friend of Annie’s sounded similar to what happened to you. They called it a miscarriage.’
‘Kitty at Star Brush kept dropping hints like that. I didn’t want to listen to her ’cos it made me stomach turn to think of me baby getting tipped down the bog even if he was dead. Anyhow Mum found out what she’d been saying and told her to shut her gob, and keep her nose out, so I never found out no more.’
The sisters gazed solemnly at one another, each lost in private memories. Six months ago they’d been two frightened girls bewildered by what was happening to Sophy. Now they knew what women knew and prayed they’d never need to struggle through such a time again.
‘So don’t go doing nothing stupid,’ Alice repeated hoarsely.
Any further conversation on the subject was prevented by their mother’s appearance in the doorway of the back room. ‘Ready?’ she asked Sophy. ‘Don’t want to be late and miss your connectin’ train at Fenchurch Street. Danny’s already out on the pavement waiting.’
Sophy quickly stuffed the last few remaining bits in her bag. ‘Will you come to the station with me?’ Her eyes were pleading as they met Alice’s.
‘Try ’n stop me,’ Alice answered huskily.
‘We’ll all come,’ Tilly announced shortly. ‘Bleedin’ hell! Ain’t every day one of me daughters gets a job takes her miles away across the country.’ She rolled down her blouse sleeves and buttoned the cuffs. ‘’Sides, Margaret and Bert ‘n’ all their kids are seeing Danny off. So we’re seeing you off ‘n’ all. And that’s that.’
Jack took Sophy’s bag from her and the Keiver family trooped down the dank stairs to join the Lovats congregated on the pavement. As the little party set off in a festive mood in the direction of Finsbury Park railway station some of the neighbours came out to lean shoulders on doorjambs and watch the families pass. Old Beattie Evans called out good luck and farewell to Sophy from across the road and Sophy acknowledged her with a wave and a smile. She then skipped ahead and walked beside Danny at the front of the human convoy, her expression proud and her chin high. As Alice watched the couple she felt a warm contentment bathe her insides. It looked like Sophy had subdued her butterflies and settled down already.
Alice and Geoff fell into step together, right at the back of the group, behind their parents and a clutch of their boisterous younger siblings.
‘Glad he’s off at last,’ Geoff muttered. ‘He’s been driving me up the wall goin’ on about having proper riding boots. Thought I could get him some from Milligan’s. It’s a gent’s outfitters in Islington, fer Gawd’s sake, not a nobs’ shop up Savile Row.’
Alice chuckled and angled her head to see Danny’s smart, poker-straight back as he marched on with her sister towards their new life. ‘Well, you’ve done him proud. He might not have his riding boots but he looks ready for anything all the same.’
‘Yeah … don’t he just,’ Geoff grunted wryly. ‘Give him all them togs as a going-away present. Had to pay fer it ‘n’ all. Old man Milligan’s been watching me like an ’awk. He ain’t daft. He knew I’d be eyeing a bit of new clobber.’
‘You’re a big softie, Geoff Lovat.’
‘Not where Dan’s concerned, I ain’t. Just glad to see the back of him.’ To avoid Alice’s mocking look he added gruffly, ‘Still don’t know why there weren’t no big ruckus over it all.’ He frowned. ‘I was expecting me mum ‘n’ dad to kick up a helluva lot more over losing him and his pay.’
‘Me ‘n’ Sophy have been waiting for the same in ours. Even up to this morning when we were packing her things we were expecting round one to start. We was afraid me mum might decide she’d got to stop home after all.’ She gazed into the distance. ‘Strange really … but it seems since the war started things’ve been a bit different. It’s hard to explain what sort of different,’ she said slowly, reflecting. ‘I can’t put me finger on it ’cos the fighting’s all a long way away and it’ll probably be over soon in any case. But it seems like everyone’s expecting something big might happen so they’re not bothering making a song ‘n’ dance over other stuff like they would normally. Hope what’s coming turns out to be good.’
‘Can feel it all in yer bones, can you?’ Geoff’s tone was lightly teasing, but his thoughtful frown displayed he’d attended intently – more closely than he was willing to let on – to Alice’s simple, jumbled philosophy.
‘Yeah … suppose I can feel it in me bones. It’s peculiar just waiting, knowing it could turn out bad, but really hoping it’ll be good instead.’
Having reached the station the group trooped onto the platform where the train was standing. A lot of people were milling around and Margaret and Tilly ordered the kids to be still and not hare about and get lost.
Sophy turned and rushed back along the family queue to where Alice was standing with Geoff. She snatched her sister in a determined embrace.
‘I want some letters off you,’ Alice mumbled against Sophy’s shoulder. ‘I want to know all what’s going on in Essex. Especially want to know what the people’s like, and what your digs are like ‘n’ so on.’
Sophy nodded then, rubbing at her streaming eyes, she pushed away and moved amongst the other members of her family to give them hugs and kisses.
Having given her eldest daughter a perfunctory cuddle Tilly pushed Sophy away. ‘Geddoff with you,’ she fondly chided. ‘Ain’t much to tell you that ain’t already been said. Just make sure you behave yourself and keep yer job,’ was her blunt maternal advice. ‘Don’t forget: if you can spare it send it ’cos we need it. And come back and see us soon as you can. That’s all.’
Sophy nodded at her mum and cuffed her nose. She turned to her dad and went immediately into his open arms.
‘Be a good gel,’ he whispered achingly softly against her temple. ‘Keep safe. God bless you.’
‘And you …’ Sophy choked.
Bert and Margaret Lovat were bestowing similar advice on Danny while he attempted to free his legs from his clinging little siblings and Geoff hung back, looking amused. Finally Geoff approached his brother and shook Danny’s hand and then rather self-consciously he found his place at the back of the family group again.
At last the goodbyes were done and the couple boarded the train with moments to spare as the guard paced officiously up and down, whistling and signalling. As the train pulled away a thicket of waving hands sprung up and some of the little ones shot along the platform to follow in its juddering black wake. Even little Lucy trotted a few steps after her big sister Sophy before Beth caught her up in her arms and nuzzled her pink cheek.
‘That’s enough. Let’s get going,’ Geoff muttered gruffly to Alice.
She understood his reasons for wanting to be off now. She wanted some time away from the rest of her family too on what seemed to be a particularly significant day. An ending and a beginning … perhaps not just for Sophy and Danny, Alice mused as she nodded agreement to Geoff’s suggestion that they make their escape.
‘Off down the caff fer a cuppa,’ Alice called out to her mum. She’d chosen the right time to slip away. Tilly was preoccupied and simply acknowledged Alice’s shout with a wave. She was in the process of comforting Margaret over the loss of her firstborn by planting two work-raw hands on Margaret’s shaking shoulders. Margaret continued to weep loudly into her hanky as Geoff and Alice made their way out of the station.
Before they disappeared round the corner Alice glanced back to see her father and Bert Lovat were already marshalling the kids into some sort of order for the tramp home. In the distance she could just see the train that was carrying her sister away. ‘Bye, Sophy,’ she murmured before the view was lost to her.