‘I didn’t know whether to offer to get the beast back inside your place last night before I set off home. I thought I might turn up this morning and find it’d been pinched from outside your door.’
Alice huffed a chuckle. She’d just sprinted up the stairs to hand over to her mother the five pounds that Josh had paid for the piano. Now she was back in the street, a little out of breath, standing by his side. ‘Me mum said she’d kip on top of it if needs be to make sure she got her fiver. She doesn’t often have a joke any more,’ she added wistfully. ‘Sorry she was so rude to you yesterday. It’s not just you,’ Alice stressed. ‘She can be nasty to anyone when she’s been at the whiskey.’
‘I’ve got a thick skin,’ Josh reassured her. ‘It passed over my head.’ He finished lashing the piano to the cart then handed the two brothers from across the road a handful of coppers for helping him lift and load it. He tested the ropes and, when satisfied they were strong and serviceable enough, he lifted the barrow by the handles and they set off.
‘I thought your brother might come with you to get it this morning,’ Alice remarked as they turned the corner. Josh was not struggling with the load but she could tell from the bulge of muscle in his forearms that it was no easy task he was undertaking.
‘Didn’t want him to. Thought if Matthew came you might not walk with me.’
‘Sure I would come with you, were you?’ Alice slanted him a challenging glance.
‘I hoped you would. But I know it’s quite a trek.’
‘I’m used to walking,’ Alice told him. ‘Me and Sophy used to go out and about with our mum and dad when we were little ’uns. Used to do a bit of busking for pennies.’ A faraway look was in her eyes. ‘I can still remember how weary me poor little legs would get.’
‘If you feel tired you can hop on the cart,’ Josh suggested. ‘There’s room and I don’t reckon you weigh much.’ He gave her petite figure an appreciative glance.
Alice blossomed beneath his admiration. ‘Thanks for the offer. I might take you up on it later. But I feel fine at the moment. Anyhow, we should have a little rest about halfway,’ she decided. ‘We could have a sit down and buy a cake to eat.’
‘Like a picnic,’ Josh said with a grin.
‘Yeah; a sort of picnic,’ Alice agreed. She glanced up at the grey winter sky. ‘Hope it doesn’t rain.’
‘I’ve brought along a tarpaulin for the piano, just in case,’ Josh said.
‘Never mind the ruddy piano, what about us?’ Alice protested with a giggle.
‘Well, we could dive under the tarpaulin too,’ Josh said. ‘I think I might like that.’
‘Daft!’ Alice scolded on a blush but she moved closer to him, feeling warm and content.
‘I know where we can get something to eat at Crouch End,’ Josh said. ‘There’s a place to sit and park the cart too.’
‘I’ve brought some money for a bite to eat.’
‘I’ll pay, Alice,’ Josh protested gently. ‘I wouldn’t be much of a gent otherwise, would I?’
‘Geoff used to say something like that,’ Alice blurted. ‘“I’ll pay ’cos I’m a real gent”, he’d say, all mocking. He did use to make me laugh.’
‘I’m glad I’m like him. Even in just that small way,’ Josh said with simple sincerity.
‘You are like him,’ Alice said softly. ‘But you’re different too. And I’m glad about that ’cos Geoff was special and I think you are too but …’
‘I know what you mean, Alice,’ he said in a gentle voice.
She could feel Josh’s eyes on her profile and knew suddenly it was the right time to tell him a little bit more.
‘Geoff was the most loyal person ever and would do anything to help. We hadn’t been walking out together for long when he went off to fight. Geoff was more like my best friend than my sweetheart but I loved him dearly.’
‘Sweethearts can come and go.’ A long moment had passed before Josh started to reply, as though he’d carefully considered his words. ‘You can move on from a sweetheart and forget them. But a true friend like that you can’t replace, can’t forget either.’
‘That’s how I feel about him,’ Alice whispered. ‘I won’t ever forget him; won’t ever again be anyone like him in me life. I was so lucky to have known him.’
‘I wish … I hope I can mean as much to you,’ Josh said quietly. ‘Geoff was lucky too, Alice. He had you in his life …’
‘He wasn’t lucky in that!’ Alice choked. ‘Ruined his life, it did, knowing me and my family. He shouldn’t even have gone to fight. He wasn’t old enough. He was only eighteen when he was killed. He didn’t want to go but he had to get away, ’cos of us …’
Alice turned her head away from Josh’s puzzled look. ‘Don’t ask me. I can’t tell you. It’s bad … can’t tell you,’ she dully repeated and clamped together her lips.
‘That’s alright,’ Josh soothed. ‘We’ve all got secrets.’
‘Not like the ones I’ve got,’ Alice choked out with a grim laugh. Swiftly she changed the subject. ‘I always wanted to get away from The Bunk and get me own place. It was my dream and Geoff’s too. We both wanted to earn as much as we could and get on and get out.’ She stared solemnly into the distance. ‘Some of the girls working at Turner’s bought themselves fur coats with their wages. You could earn so well working nights in the munitions factories. Seemed like heaven to start. Now I’d give up every penny to turn back the clock to before the war and have me dad and Geoff home …’ Her words faltered and she swiped the heel of a hand over her wet face.
‘It meant a lot to the men to know their women and families were comfortable,’ Josh said. ‘It eased their minds; made them proud too.’
‘It’s all finished for us women now anyhow.’ Alice sniffed, twisted a little smile. ‘All the men who’re back and fit to work will take the good jobs. No more munitions needed, and it would only be the devil himself who’d be sorry about that.’ She suddenly winced as she felt a stone cut into the sole of her shoe.
‘Hop on the cart,’ Josh suggested. ‘We’re going on the straight so you might as well have a ride.’ He slowed right down to let Alice scramble aboard.
For a while they carried on their journey in silence. Alice unlaced her boot and tipped it up to see if a stone chip might fall out. ‘Have you got secrets?’ she finally murmured whilst still fiddling with her boot.
‘I’ve got things I’d rather not talk about.’
‘Horrible things?’
‘Yes.’
Alice raised her blue eyes to his face. He met her gaze squarely but she could see the distress moistening his eyes as he dwelled on private horrors. ‘Things that happened in the war?’ she guessed.
Josh nodded. ‘What I saw on the Somme,’ he explained gruffly. ‘Still gives me nightmares … sometimes I cry like a baby when I’m on my own.’
‘Have you spoken about it to your mum or dad?’
Josh shook his head. ‘Don’t want to tell anyone. Don’t want to speak about it.’
‘But you’d tell me.’
‘Yes,’ Josh said. ‘If you wanted to listen, I’d tell you.’ He gave Alice a searing look. ‘And when you’re ready, I’m willing to listen to whatever you’ve got to say. I won’t ever betray you, Alice. You can trust me, I swear.’
‘Thanks,’ Alice croaked, her eyes again glistening. After a quiet moment she took a deep breath and said, ‘Don’t think of you as my best friend yet but I reckon I will.’
‘Glad about that,’ Josh said with a smile. ‘’Cos I’ve a feeling I’d like it a lot if you did.’ He glanced down diffidently at one of his fists gripping a handle. ‘Got a bit of money left after giving your mum that fiver. I brought it with me specially ’cos I saw something a few days ago in a jeweller’s shop in Wood Green High Street. It’s a pretty little ring with three small diamonds. It’s not fancy, but I thought if you wanted something fancy then next year …’
‘Don’t want fancy,’ Alice gruffly interrupted. ‘And don’t show me just yet. Perhaps when we come this way again, you can show it to me then.’ She reached out a hand and placed it over one of his. She felt unable to speak. Her heart was thumping so hard she felt she might burst with happiness yet a feeling of serenity had settled on her too.
‘I’m glad you’ve come with me today, Alice. I thought if you did it would be a good omen and I must find the courage to tell you that I’ve fallen in love with you.’
‘In a little while I reckon I’ll have that courage too,’ Alice replied, achingly softly. ‘But for now I just need a bit more time for the pain inside to go away …’
‘No rush …’ Josh said, smiling tenderly.
With a little hop she was off the cart. She slipped a hand through one of his arms, rubbed a cheek against the straining sinew she could feel beneath the material of his sleeve. Wordlessly she gripped one of the cart handles and added her strength to his as they walked on.