Griffin walked up to the side door of the white bungalow on South Shore Road. It looked different than he remembered. The house might be small and modest, but Gino’s pride of ownership had always shone through. So had Ava’s love for the gardens that her mother had started decades before. Now the house just looked unloved and uncared for with its peeling paint, crumbling sidewalk, and a roof in obvious need of repair. There was no sign of the gardens under the small patches of snow. Ava must have given up on them too.
The last memory Griffin had of being in the house was a late August morning before Ava went back to school and he deployed. It’d been about six months before she’d asked for a divorce. A warm breeze had been blowing off the harbor, ruffling the white lacy curtains and filling the house with the scent of lavender and basil from the herb garden in the flower boxes outside the kitchen window. Gino had already left for work, and Ava had been making Griffin breakfast, experimenting with some kind of omelet. It didn’t matter what she made, it was always amazing.
She’d been laughing herself sick over something as she stood by the stove with sunlight dancing in her long, curly hair, her eyes lit up and her skin tanned and glowing. He couldn’t remember what it was that made her laugh, probably because he’d been looking at her and thinking how crazy beautiful she was and how much he loved her and how he couldn’t wait for the day when they were living together full-time.
Ava had only been eighteen when they married, and he hadn’t felt right asking her to move away from her family and friends with a baby on the way and him set to deploy. And then she’d lost the baby, and he felt she needed their support even more. So when she decided to go to school for her nursing degree and received a scholarship from the university in Boston, they’d both agreed she should accept. She’d spent long weekends and holidays with him in Virginia or at one of the cottages at the manor when he was on leave. It wasn’t perfect, but they’d made the best of it. That August morning they’d been planning their future, counting down the days until she’d finish her degree. Only none of those plans came to fruition. He never did get to eat the omelet either.
He shook off the memories as the door started to open and Rosa appeared. Afraid she’d slam the door in his face when she saw who it was, he raised his hand. “I have to see her and explain.”
She stepped back. Dorothy was at the table and gave him a wan smile. “I hope you can get through to her, Griffin. She’s—”
“I’ve only seen her like this twice before, the day her mother died and the day she lost the baby. Her heart, it’s broken.” Rosa sat down, placing an elbow on the table to rest her face in her palm. Until that moment, he’d never thought of her as old.
If he’d been worried about Ava before, he was doubly so now. “Is she in her room?”
Reaching across the table to pat Rosa’s hand, Dorothy nodded. “Don’t give her a chance to turn you away. Just go in.”
He strode through the house, barely registering the changes as he made his way to Ava’s bedroom. Her room looked the same as he remembered. Ava lay on top of the double wedding ring quilt her mother had made for her daughter before she died. She’d used fabric from Ava’s summer dresses and her own to make the colorful rings. Ava used to bring it with her when she came to visit him. She was curled on her side away from him, still wearing the wedding gown. He started across the room, and then his eyes caught the framed photos on her nightstand, and he couldn’t move.
He stared at their wedding photo, at a picture of him surfing, one of Ava pregnant with him standing behind her, his arms around her. He half turned to her dresser, almost afraid to look. It was the same as her nightstand, covered with framed photos of them, her mother and father, Griffin’s mother and sister. Something told him that the photos weren’t recent additions, and his legs went weak at the thought. He reached for the edge of the bed, slowly lowering himself onto it.
The movement must have alerted Ava to his presence because she turned. She looked like she’d cried herself to sleep. “What are you doing here? You shouldn’t be here,” she said, her voice husky and tinged with panic.
The way her eyes darted from him to the nightstand, he didn’t think the panic had anything to do with Lexi. Ava didn’t want him to see the photos. His head was spinning with what that seemed to imply. Something inside him said to let it go. That he didn’t really want to know.
But he couldn’t let it go and leaned over to pick up their wedding photo, the one of her pregnant. “Why, baby? I don’t understand. If you didn’t love me anymore, why would you have all these pictures of us, of me?”
Some of the pain, the frustration from the past, leaked into his voice. He’d deleted their photos from his computer and his phone. Boxed up the others, along with his memories of the moments, and put them away.
“It doesn’t matter anymore. You have a wife and a baby on the way.” She rolled onto her back, swiping away the tear that slid off her cheek and into her hair. “You should have told me,” she said, her gaze on the photos in his hands. “It was wrong. What we did and said, it was wrong.”
He was close to losing it, walking a tightrope between hope and fear, frustration and relief. “Lexi and I aren’t married. We’ve been divorced for more than three years.”
He felt the need to reiterate that even though she knew exactly how long it’d been. Then he explained the promise he’d made to Lex the night they’d met up to sign the divorce papers, sharing some laughs and a bottle of wine. He shared a bit about how the baby came to be. Not enough to make either of them uncomfortable, but enough that she’d understand that he hadn’t done anything wrong. He ended with the reasoning behind their decision to move back to Harmony Harbor and raise their son. “I should have told you, but Lexi wanted to keep it quiet until she was further along. If I’d known she was coming today, I wouldn’t have waited.”
“You’re going to get the baby boy you always wanted,” she said, a soft, wistful smile on her face. She lifted her gaze from the photo in his hand. “I’m happy for you. You’ll be a wonderful papa.”
And there it was, the reason he’d put off telling her. “I wish—”
She reached over, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “Don’t. It wasn’t meant to be. You’ve got a second chance. Enjoy every precious moment of it.”
The doctors hadn’t been able to find a reason as to why their baby boy was stillborn. But they did discover that the doctor who’d delivered the baby via C-section hadn’t been qualified to do the surgery. Ava not only lost the baby that night, but she’d also lost the ability to conceive another one.
He looked down at the photo in his hand, of Ava heavy with their child, her beautiful, radiant smile. “I will, but it doesn’t mean I can or want to forget what we almost had. He’s a part of me too.”
She nodded, her small smile forced as she fought back tears. So brave, so good, so kind. He placed the photos on the nightstand and stood to remove the black jacket from Tie the Knot. He hadn’t taken the time to change after the meeting with his family. As he was reminded of the conversation with his dad and grandmother, the anger that had been riding him since Lexi arrived spiked.
His grandmother had all but chased down Father O’Malley, and his father hadn’t been far behind. The only thing that had kept Griffin from losing it on them was his baby brother, who’d acted as the voice of reason. At least in Colin’s and Kitty’s presence. Liam had kinda blown it when he’d walked Griffin to his truck. His brother had appointed himself Lexi’s protector. Liam didn’t know Griffin’s ex as well as he did. There was only one woman who needed protection, and she was lying in the bed looking up at him.
“What are you doing?” she asked as he toed off the black dress shoes.
He carefully moved the reams of flowered fabric. “I’m hoping to do what I’ve wanted to since I moved back to town,” he said, and lay down beside her. “I forgot how small your bed was.”
She shifted onto her hip. He took it as a good sign when she rested her cheek on his chest and didn’t object to his arm going around her. “You used to say it was cozy.”
He laughed. “I lied. Now”—he gently tipped her face up with two fingers—“let’s get the hard stuff out of the way so we can get to the good stuff.”
“Can we reverse the order?” she asked, placing her hand on his stomach.
Holding her gaze, he moved his fingers along her jaw until they tangled in the mass of her long, dark curls. He touched his mouth to her soft lips, smiling against them at her sweet, breathy sigh. He drew back just enough to look in her eyes. “You aren’t trying to distract me, are you?”
Slowly smoothing her hand up his stomach to his chest, she gave a tiny negative shake of her head and stroked her fingers in the opening at his neck. “I didn’t put the photos away because I wanted you, us, to be the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes in the morning and the last thing I saw when I closed them at night. I never stopped loving you. I never will.” She lowered her head to replace her fingers with her warm lips.
He lay there, unable to speak, unable to move. He’d been trained to act quickly, efficiently, eliminate the threat without thought or emotion. That last month with Ava all those years before he’d been in a battle—for her and for her heart. He hadn’t known who or what he was fighting. He’d done everything, tried everything, and still he’d failed, both her and himself.
She lifted her hand to stroke his face, pressing her mouth to the underside of his jaw. Her lips trembled against his skin, a hot tear splashing on his neck, and then she trailed small kisses all the way to his ear and whispered, “It wasn’t your fault. You did nothing wrong. There was nothing more you could have done to help me. I had to help myself.”
Her admission cut the thread that had been holding his anger in check, unlocking his muscles, his voice. “No, all you had to do was let me in. We said the vows, made the promise to be there for each other in sickness and in health, in the good times and in the bad. That’s the promise I made to you, Ava.” He cleared the emotion from his throat, his eyes burning. “You didn’t let me keep it. I shouldn’t have let you go. Should have fought harder.”
“I tried to fight. I did fight, but I wasn’t strong enough. I never meant to break my vows. I never meant to break my promise to you.” Her fingers clutched his shirt, her eyes desperate and pleading. “I loved you. I love you. You are the only man I’ve ever loved. You have to believe me. You have to—”
She was beside herself, almost beyond reason. Why couldn’t he have just left it alone? He pulled her into his arms and rocked her. “Shh, it’s okay, baby. It’s over. It was a long time ago. We’ll put it behind us, okay? We’ll start over.” His gut twisted as he remembered what a mess he’d been when he’d lost her. He couldn’t go through that again. Smoothing his hand down her hair, he rubbed her back, waiting until he felt the tension release. “Ava, baby, look at me a minute.”
Her groan vibrated against his chest, and then she raised her head. “You said we were putting it behind us.”
He smiled. Her reaction was more typical of the woman he remembered. He took her face in his hands and kissed her long and deep, feeling a little panicked as his need for her almost overrode the need to protect his heart. He slowly drew back, searching her face, relieved to see the color in her cheeks and the dazed and heated look in her heavily lidded eyes.
“We are putting the past behind us. I won’t bring it up again. But before we do, I need one promise from you.”
She gave him a wary look. “What?”
He kissed her again, a little longer, a little deeper, and then like she had done to him, trailed his lips along her delicate jaw to her ear. He gently nipped the lobe, then soothed it with a kiss before whispering, “All I ask is that, if you ever feel yourself slipping, you have to talk to me. You can’t try and deal with it on your own. If it happens again, we’ll deal with it together and see a professional. I talked to Doc Bishop about it, and he thinks it wasn’t just one thing that led to your depression.”
She pushed herself onto her knees. “You talked to Dr. Bishop about me?”
“Yeah, when you ended up in the hospital for exhaustion,” he said defensively. “And don’t tell me it wasn’t my place because—”
Her face softened. “It’s okay. I understand why you did and why you’re worried. But you don’t have to be. It won’t happen again. But I promise, if I have any concerns at all, I’ll talk to you about it. And I’ll talk to Dr. Bishop.”
“You won’t try to diagnose yourself again? Because, babe, you have a tendency to think you know better than the doctors.”
She arched an eyebrow, took his arm, and unbuttoned the cuff, pushing it up to reveal the thick scar on his forearm. “The quack stitched this,” she said, referring to the medic on the base. Leaning in, she traced the barely visible scar that bisected his eyebrow. “I stitched this.”
He laughed, pulling her on top of him. “Okay, so you’re good at taking care of other people, just not yourself.” Wasn’t that the truth, he thought, thinking about her father. But right now he wanted to stop thinking about anyone else but them. “Time for the good stuff now?” He waggled his eyebrows, trying to make light of a moment he’d been dreaming about for years.
“Ava, Griffin, the lasagna is ready,” Rosa called through the door.
“We’ll be right there, Auntie Rosa.” Ava smiled when he groaned his frustration. “The good stuff will have to wait. She needs to know I’m okay. I worried her.” She got off the bed. “Would you mind undoing me?”
“Is that a trick question?” he asked, coming to stand behind her. He moved her hair over her shoulder, pressing his lips to her nape. “You never looked more beautiful than you did today, Ava. That song was for you. I meant every word.”
She shivered as he trailed his fingers up and down her bare back, then turned her face to look up at him. “Will you stay with me tonight?”
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
Ava had a feeling Griffin would rather be anywhere else than at her kitchen table being grilled by her Auntie Rosa.
“So, you’re in love with our Ava again. Is that what you’re telling me?”
He wasn’t the only one who’d rather be anywhere but here.
Griffin looked across the table at Ava, his dimple deepening in his cheek. “No, not again. I never stopped loving her.”
In a way, she was surprised Rosa even had to ask with the meaningful glances Griffin had been sending Ava’s way since they sat down. Despite looking like a hot mess with her bloodshot eyes and disheveled hair, Griffin hadn’t taken his eyes off her.
Rosa patted his arm. “Okay, now I understand.”
Looking pleased that he’d finally gotten through to her aunt, Griffin started eating again.
Rosa leaned down and came up with her cell phone in her hand. As she typed impressively fast with two thumbs, she said, “You were married on the beach last time, so this time, maybe in the church, sí?” She waved her hand at what must have been Ava and Griffin’s slack-jawed expressions. “It’s okay, Kitty and I will look after the detail—”
Griffin choked on his lasagna while reaching for her aunt’s phone. “Don’t send—” He groaned at the sound of a message being sent.
“What’s the matter with you?” Rosa crossed her arms. “You don’t want to marry our Ava?”
“Rosa, they’ve just gotten back together and, well, Griffin is expecting a baby with his other wife. It might be best if they waited…All right, don’t mind me,” Dorothy said when Rosa shot her a dirty look.
Ava understood Griffin’s reaction to the thought of marriage not more than thirty minutes after they declared their love for one another, but she had to admit to being a little hurt by it. She also didn’t appreciate being reminded of his other wife. Which might have been why she said, “Griffin and I have no plans to marry. Not now, not ever.”
He put down his fork and cocked his head. “Is that right? Maybe I’m missing something because I don’t remember having that conversation.”
“We didn’t need to. Your reaction said it all.”
“Ava, honey, you don’t understand what Rosa telling Grams—”
“Now look what you’ve done. You hurt her feelings, and she breaks off the engagement.”
“We’re not engaged,” Ava and Griffin said at almost the same time, although Ava’s denial was more vehement than his.
“Would anyone like a cup of…I guess not,” Dorothy said when they all shot her a look.
Rosa’s phone pinged with a message, and then Griffin’s phone rang. He looked at the screen and rejected the call.
“Who does she think she is telling me not to interfere?” Rosa gasped, staring at Griffin. “She says you’re marrying the mother of your child.”
“I’m not marrying anyone. Oh, for Chrissakes,” he said when his phone rang again. Griffin looked at the screen. “Sorry, I have to take this.” He pushed back from the table and got up, walking into the living room. “Hey, is everything…Calm down, Lex. I’m not getting…All right, that’s enough. Yeah, I am, and…”
Ava couldn’t make out any more of the conversation. Griffin had walked down the hall. She got the gist of it though, and it left her with a queasy feeling in her stomach.
“We should go. Griffin and Ava need some time alone, Rosa.”
Her aunt waved Dorothy off without lifting her head, her thumbs flying over the keys. Ava had lost count of the zings and pings going back and forth between Rosa and Kitty.
Ava got up and began clearing the table. She needed something to keep her mind off Griffin’s conversation with Lexi and her aunt’s war of words with Kitty. To think, only a month ago, she’d been upset about Kitty matchmaking, and now she was upset that she wasn’t. Well, she was, just not for her and Griffin. Ava didn’t want to think what life would be like at the manor now that Griffin’s ex was here to stay.
“Lovey, we’re leaving now,” Dorothy said, half lifting Rosa from the chair. She took the phone from Rosa’s hand. “Stop that. You’re going to make matters worse for Ava.”
Ava didn’t think they could get much worse. She didn’t say that to Rosa or Dorothy though. Despite the doubts roiling around inside her, she put on a brave face and said goodbye, assuring them she was fine. Obviously Rosa saw through her and pulled her in for a fierce hug. “You are a DiRossi. You don’t let them push you around, capisci?”
“Auntie Rosa, don’t renew your feud with Kitty over this. Just let it go.” Before Sophie had moved back home, the two older women had been in a bitter feud for years. They’d put their differences aside to save Greystone and bring Liam and Sophie together. Until now, they seemed to have renewed their childhood friendship. They’d once been best friends.
“No, you don’t mess with one of mine and get away with it. I’ll show her. I’ve called a secret meeting of the Widows Club to discuss revoking her membership.”
She tried to talk Rosa out of it, but it was no use. Ava needed to warn Sophie that the feud was back on. Closing the door, she pressed her forehead against it.
“Run away with me,” Griffin said from behind her, wrapping his arms around her.
She wished they could go away, even for a few days. She wanted time alone with him, just the two of them. No fighting families and no…“We can’t. You have responsibilities, a baby on the way.” She ignored the dull ache in her chest. She’d hadn’t been lying earlier; she truly was happy for him. But it hurt, just a little, that Lexi was the one giving him his heart’s desire and not her.
She felt his chest rise against her back, his warm breath ruffling her hair. Then he pulled out a chair from the table, sat down, and drew her onto his lap. He gathered her in his arms and rested his chin on the top of her head. “I’d be lying to you if I said this was going to be easy, babe.”
“Lexi decided she wants you to marry her, hasn’t she?” Ava was surprised she got the words past the lump in her throat. What if she got him back only to lose him again? She hadn’t been surprised when Griffin told her he’d offered to marry Lexi. She would have been more surprised if he hadn’t. He was an honorable man. Lexi refusing? That had been a shock. Ava didn’t understand how any woman who’d been loved by Griffin Gallagher wouldn’t have immediately jumped at the chance to get him back.
“No, once Lexi makes a decision, she doesn’t change her mind. About anything. And therein lies our problem. Because, honey, she doesn’t like you very much.”
It didn’t escape Ava’s notice that he didn’t say, even if Lexi had changed her mind, the offer of marriage was off the table. She refused to let the thought get a toehold in her mind. They had enough to deal with. “But she doesn’t know me.”
“I’m not saying this to hurt your feelings, but you need to know what we’re up against. My brothers and father weren’t exactly your biggest fans after we split up. Aidan, and especially Finn, blamed you, unfairly, for a lot of the crap I went through. They shared that with Lex.”
He might not have meant to hurt her feelings, but he did. “Your mom didn’t blame me. She still loved me,” she said defensively.
His arms tightened around her. “I know she did, honey. She used to bring you up every time I talked to her. She was worried about you.”
“I think she’d be happy we’re back together.”
He lifted her hand to his mouth, kissing her palm. “I know she would be. That’s something we’ll hold on to when everyone else is giving us grief. We’re in for a rough week or two, and it’s going to be toughest on you because you work at the manor.”
“Maybe if I talk to Lexi and try—”
“Sweet face, she’d eat you alive.”
Ava crossed her arms. “I’m not a wimp, you know. I can stand up for myself.” She supposed she could see why he might think she couldn’t though. She hadn’t done a very good job of standing up for herself the past few years.
He laughed. “You forgetting I was married to you? I know you’re strong when you need to be. But Lex, she’s a military cop and as tough as they come. The woman will never admit she’s wrong or back down from a fight. She’s a protector; you’re a caregiver. There’s a difference.”
“I can be tough when I want to be. I—”
He gently pressed a finger against her lips “What you are is the kindest, most caring woman I know. You have a way with people. You have a way with me. I’ve missed you, sweet face. I don’t want to waste any more time talking. I want you naked and in my arms.” He stood up, taking her with him. “Interested?”
She waited for her pulse to become erratic, for sweat to slick her hands and body, for the paralyzing fission of nerves to hit her limbs at the thought of Griffin touching her, making love to her. But there was nothing except a warm sensation low in her stomach, heavy and needy. She looped her arms around his neck and tipped her face up. “I might need a little persuading.”
If she didn’t know him as well as she did, she would have missed the small telltale sign that he was worried, the way he mentally took her pulse, searching her face without seeming to. She wasn’t the only one who remembered how their last weeks together had been. She needed him to know she was all right, for both their sakes.
She reached up, sealing her lips over his. She didn’t take it slow or give it to him sweet. The kiss was hot and wet and long and deep. With every nip, lick, and slide, she gave him a taste of the love she’d been stockpiling since the day she’d left him.
She slowly broke the connection. “Okay, I’m interested.”
They’d gotten no farther than the living room, and he leaned against the wall, his breathing labored. “I think…I think I forgot to mention you were also the most passionate woman I know, and one hell of a good time in bed.”
“We probably should see if I still am,” she said, laughing when he practically ran to her bedroom and tossed her on the mattress.
It was her old laugh. Big and joyful, and totally absent of worry and fear.